we're a little bit fed up with
the lackluster "bye!" style finales to the news pages
so this week we're going for
an absolute belter...
Count Lovely und Spike clear
their throats,
grab a gilded chair each from
the wings und take up dramatic poses centre stage, in front of a single
violet spotlight...
You have to understand the way
we are,
Mein Pretty Lady wiiisitor...
A tiger is a tiger, not a lamb,
Mein Pretty Lady wiiisitor...
You'll never turn the vinegar
to jam,
Mein Pretty Lady wiiisitor.
So we do...
What we do...
When we're through...
Then we're through...
And we're through...
Toodleoo
Bye..... bye..... mein.... li-ber
Pretty Lady wiiisitor.
Farewell, mein li-ber Pretty
Lady wiiisitor.
It was a fine affair,
But now it's over.
And though we used to care,
we need the open air.
You're better off without us,
Mein Pretty Lady wiiisitor.
Don't dab your eye, Mein Pretty
Lady wiiisitor
Or wonder why, Mein Pretty Lady
wiiisitor.
we've always said that we were
both rovers.
You mustn't knit your brow,
You should have known by now
You've every cause to doubt
us
Mein Pretty Lady wiiisitor.
The continent of Europe is so
wide, Mein Pretty Lady wiiisitor.
Not only up and down
But side to side, Mein Pretty
Lady wiiisitor.
we couldn't ever cross it if
we tried, Mein Pretty Lady wiiisitor.
But we do...
What we can...
Inch by inch...
Step by step...
Mile by mile...
Pretty Lady wiiisitor by Pretty
Lady wiiisitor.
Bye bye, mein liber Pretty Lady
wiiisitor
Farewell, mein liber Pretty
Lady wiiisitor.
It was a fine affair,
But now it's over.
And though we used to care,
we need the open air.
You're better off without us,
Mein Pretty Lady wiiisitor.
Don't dab your eye, Mein Pretty
Lady wiiisitor
Or wonder why, Mein Pretty Lady
wiiisitor.
we've always said that we were
both rovers.
You mustn't knit your brow,
You should have known by now
You've every cause to doubt
us,
Mein Pretty Lady wiiisitor.
Bye bye, Mein Liber Pretty Lady
wiiisitor,
Auf weidersehen, Mein Pretty
Lady wiiisitor.
Es war sehr gut, Mein Pretty
Lady wiiisitor.
Und Vorbei.
Du kennst mich wohl, Mein Pretty
Lady wiiisitor,
Ach, lebe wohl, Mein Pretty
Lady wiiisitor.
Du sollst mich nicht meher sehen,
Mein Pretty Lady wiiisitor.
Bye bye, Mein Liber Pretty Lady
wiiisitor...
Und Vorbei.
Du kennst mich wohl,
Mein Pretty Lady wiiisitor...
And bye bye.
(altogether collectively!):
Bye bye, Mein Liber Pretty Lady
wiiisitor,
Fare well, Mein Liber Pretty
Lady wiiisitor,
It was a fine affair,
But now it's over.
And though we...
Used to care,
we need the...
Open air.
You're better off
Without us,
You'll get on without us.
Mein
Pretty Lady wiiisitor...
Pretty Lady wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiisitor...
Count Lovely und Spike pause, throw up their arms und absorb the applause teary-eyed, then career to the back of the stage, tear down the scarlet velvet curtains, destroy several musical instruments, hurling the debris (along with ahstray-fulls of cigarette butts und several discarded wine glasses) into the crowd, start a small petroleum-fuelled fire in the orchestra pit, then clamber up the lighting rig und hurl themselves back down onto the stage where they lay, semi-concious und in some pain as nets above release armfuls of red rose petals und glitter...
thankyouverymuuuuuuuch
und
good-nacht!
the lights dim...
(it's all been rather Berlin-esque hasn't it?)