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My writings. |
| Take
a moment to read, and UNDERSTAND! )O( The planet is dying. And it's all our fault, in my opinion. Mankind has used and abused over and over again our mother Gaia, and now, weakened and ill, she's giving in to every living being's fate...... Death. It sucks, I know, but this is real. I think that we all know, deep down, that the end is quite near.... but very few admit it to themselves, for fear of what will happen to us all. I know that life should not be wasted on the insignificant things, especially since it might end from one moment to another now. I ask you all a big favour - which, if carried out, will be for your own benefit. Stop worrying about how fat/thin, tall/short, pretty/ugly, intelligent/dumb, rich/poor, christian/pagan you are, and just live. Stop existing - start living. Stop doing things for other people - i.e. to please them and to be socially acceptable by the masses. Be yourself. Live your life to the full. Do not postpone your dreams. Live them now, before it's too late. Dye your hair, let it grow long, shave it all off, get all the piercings and tattoos you ever dreamed of having done, enjoy yourself, help others, tell the people you care about that you love them and that you'll be there for them, stop hearing and start to listen, stop blabbering and start talking sense, read that book which you've been putting off for the next day EVERY SINGLE DAY, publish a book, launch a cd. Above all, believe in yourself - for if you don't, no one ever will. Take care of nature, tend to Her, for she is mother to us all. Let us, at least, ATTEMPT to heal a small part of the wound we have inflicted of our Mother Earth. Keep in mind that, as with every parent/child relationship, we reach a point where the parents stop taking care of us, and we start taking care of them. Mother Nature needs us now. Don't shut the door in her face. With love and the brightest blessings to all, Rosalind. 26th December, 2004
@ 13.38 |
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Apocalypse... Here We Come!! Click. Type type type type type. Click some more. Nowadays, the majority owns a computer, and an internet connection. Those who don't, go to an internet cafe'. Some may think that this is a positive thing. I think that it rarely is. We are wasting our lives away, sitting in front of a screen – barely alive, yet content of things just the way they are. We are living a virtual life, and forgetting our actual life. Entering a chat room, you will notice that 7 out of 10 chat requests are shining with a hope for a date, 2 out of 10 are to sell or buy something, and the remaining 1 split between senseless comments about politics or football... or occasionally, something meaningful – which ends up being wasted. Why is everyone happy to be a copy of a copy of a copy? Even those who want to fight... who think themselves to be the 'rebels'... They abide to a set of rules. It's almost as if they have a handbook in their pocket called “How to be a Rebellious Kid” which they study by heart. Where has the real spirit gone to? The only kind of spiritual lives the copy-people ever have contact with is the kind you get when you buy too many drinks at the bar, since that's the only spirit they will ever have in their bodies. There is no urge whatsoever... No one wants to be different. No one is interested in being an individual. Everyone's too happy staying in the snug, blissful state of oblivion. If no one will make the first move to be an individual, to fight for their rights and the rights of the upcoming generations, and to find the courage to stand up and say “I am me. I am an individual. I am unlike the rest.”, the future doesn't seem too bright. Forget the sunglasses – to take a look at the future, a floodlight is needed! In the olden days, someone would start a conversation by saying “Good evening, Madam. I trust all is well. Would you honour me by dancing/dining with me?” and eventually introduce themselves and get to know one another. Fast forward a few decades. In a bar... The approach would be something along the lines of “Hello miss, how are you doing this evening? Would you like something to drink?” Zoom a few years to arrive in the present In a chatroom <Guy> Hi <Girl> Hi <Guy> Asl <Girl> 15/f/paola u? <Guy> 17/f/qormi <Guy> Pic? <Girl> Yes, you? <Guy> Send to get *moment of silence, while viewing each others pics* <Guy> name? <Girl> Maria u? <Guy> Joseph <Guy> single? <Girl> yes u? <Guy> yes <Guy> wanna meet? No ethics! No courtesy! No “how are you?”! The golden rule, which says that one should not ask a woman's age, is long gone nowadays. All people care about is to get laid, be entertained, and be accepted by the mass. ...I wonder... Is this what Nostradamus was talking about? Is this the meaning of what is written in the Revelations book? Is this the Apocalypse... the end of the world? We're on the right track I'm afraid!
Rosalind Dougall 21st
April, 2004 |
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A
New Beginning
Falling deep down into the sea Carried away from my land My sins washed away Purified from the stench of life My decaying body, becoming one with nature Returning to Mother... She greets me with open arms, Her black heart warm and loving and ever so pure. No more corruption, deceit, lies No more human... No more me. Just a spirit Wanting to be free... To soar up into the bluest skies To dive into the heart of the deepest oceans And return to the surface, riding the highest waves To swim in the hottest lava To climb the highest mountain And defeat all humanity. I greet Death with open arms... Take me with you, Dark Lady... Take me to life. 16th June, 2003
@ 05.25 |
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Alone
I gave you my heart but you tore it to pieces I gave you my soul, and you lost control Sweet surrender I long to abandon This life... this place. I gave you love, but you rejected me You took all I had and threw it all away. You took my hope, my faith and my all Left me alone, in this godforsaken place. 4th December, 2003
@ 16:40 |
| Being
Me vines
entwined
souls alive shining bright with illusions of reality natural vibes radiating with hope hope which lives only in forgotten dreams entangled in these fragile veins pulse shattered dreams dreams of happiness of survival feeding on the warmth within me lives the coldness all around me sucking out all the positivity only to allow negativity to exist, to be blood polluted thoughts twisted and deformed corrupted feelings broken hopes a shell void of essence a body void of life a soul robbed of light a spirit emprisoned with chains my wings have been cut off wickedly, with a rusty blade monstrous limbs, transplanted on my being controlled by the foolish ones manipulated by the would-be wise and all-powerful ones. darkness pours out of my veins when i cut them instead of blood vile vibes pulsate in my brain instead of thoughts destruction overwhelms me i try to struggle, to break free only to be punished over and over again and drowned once more in this existance which has been inflcited on me i have been sentenced to conform i have been accused of standing up for myself and so i have to surrender to my faith but deep down, i never will i shall never be who you want me to be i shall forever loathe you and despise you i shall always be myself, no matter what i shall always be, never cease to be, me. 18/1/2005
@ 20:30 |
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Cry
of the Wolves
Can you hear the cry of the wolves? Hear them howling at the moon Fear not, my child, for they will not harm you. They are wise, and will teach you a lot if you are willing to learn With an open heart and an open mind, greet the wolves. Allow them to enter your mind, and to guide you through your vision quest. It is not with malice that they howl It is with joy They rejoice creation They pay their homage to the Lady by singing joyful tunes to her The wolf's cry is his chant The wolf's howl is his song Come, child, let us dance and sing with the wolves tonight Wild and free, we shall be Running with the wolves through the woods, and into the night Wise and alive we shall feel Hunting, singing and dancing with the wolves tonight. Allow them to enter your mind, and guide you through your vision quest. It is not with malice that they (we) howl It is with joy Sing with them (us), child Sing your homage to the Lady with the wolves tonight. Our cry is our chant Our howls are our song Come, cub, let us sing and dance as wolves tonight. 5th January, 2005
@02:11 |
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Darkness
and Misery
darkness surrounds me everywhere i look all i see is death and decay where has the light gone? i cannot see please please God this cannot be real!! where has everyone gone? why am i feeling all alone? I'm feeling cold... No longer does warmth reside in me.... My heart has turned into stone Where has the light gone? Where is my helping hand? Where is the shoulder to cry on? Where am I? I am not who I used to be Everything has changed Is this still me? I cannot understand When I look into the mirror All i see is a poor wretched thing full of darkness and hatred I feel disgusted by what I see Until i realise.... "Goddess... that's me!" I hate myself Everyone has gone My only comfort would be Death But she turned her back on me as well... Death doesn't want a wretched thing like me... And so i'm here Wishing for the luxury of a grave So that finally i may have some peace... Keep on dreaming, i say to myself Maybe someday your dream will come true.. Or maybe someone will bring a ray of light into your mere existence... I wonder if this might be real Or if it's just my fantasy I hope on and dream on Only to make myself feel worse 13th October, 2003
@ 15:56 |
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Dawn
of a New Life
The end is dawning over me I long for better days But hope is dying so slowly I crave for peace of mind But destiny denies it to me Let me out of this misery Leave me Alone Only me and my loneliness Let me be I long to be free Despair imprisons me I can't get out Darkness All around me Nowhere to go Nowhere to hide There is Nothing No one accompanies me through this desperate journey of loneliness Now I'm here Finally free from the cruel reality I escaped from the hands of sadness And now, I fall I fall in the hands of death So cold yet so warm and comforting to me This is the end The cold sun of the long gone sad days is setting Nothing was won Nothing is lost I am dying Yet I am living Death calls to me And I feel it I feel this strange warmth I am home now... 1st February, 2003
@ 10:42 |
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Escapism
spiralling downdown down down falling into the dark abyss my soul torn up, beaten and battered up useless hopeless darkness within me darkness around me darkness is me new identity? same old shit new life? past haunts me let me be alone let me be me darkness is my form of escapism 17/1/2004
@ 17.00 |
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ETERNAL
SORROW
As she lay there beneath the full moon rising from her eternal sleep Her eyes cried tears of sorrow Her full red lips let out a heart-broken scream Her face, white as death Her body weeping for a long-lost love Oh, how she longed for his touch for the taste of his lips the warmth of his body She craved for the scent of his skin And she wept she wept she wept for all was lost Her love was lost.. And all she could feel was an eternal sorrow. 1st February, 2003
@ 10:49 |
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Fallen
One
Dawning over me, Reality... I fall.. Spiralling down into insanity. Darkness Void Silence hurts my ears Alone.. Cold Am I blind? I cannot see Am I dying? I do not feel Numb and still I lie on this blackened land Ashes and broken bodies lie all around me Dark blood trickles down my brow... No one is here... they all died. I am destined to die... No one cares No one comes for me To take me home... To carry me to my sweet haven. 16th June, 2003
@ 05:04 |
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Falling
Solitude, taking over my whole existence Slowly washing over me Like a tidal wave, Engulfing me... Drowning me What does this life mean? Meaningless, emptiness, despair. All means nothing to me. I willingly let myself fall Spiralling down the dark vortex of insanity Sinking deeper and deeper Into the abyss of solitude, Of despair. Let it all end... All is meaningless. Life, passing by, in front of my tired eyes, Piercing my weary heart. And yet, it doesn't belong... I don't belong Make it stop Stop Stop Stop Stop Stop STOP! HELP ME! 4th September, 2004
@ 14:09 |
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Fools
and assholes (no one cares)
no one cares everyone dies but the cold won't go away the dark is here to stay crawling, on and on i go looking for some warmth for a trace of life but i find none all is gone all is done and i'm still here bleeding myself to death still here, existing in an eternal fear you think you're scaring me? it's all bullshit you try to harm me? it's all useless I can't be hurt any more Any more than I already am you say "you'd better watch out wherever you go I will always be there, ready to harm you" But i don't care Not any more For I am blessed Blessed by a curse To live forevermore And I try, on and on, to bleed myself to death Darkness pours out from my veins But i'm still here In this world, full of darkness Full of misery and death Meddler, you shall die you shall burn yourself All the way to hell. Nothing but ashes Left to mark an existence long gone The existence of a fool. Let the fool burn Let them be burnt alive Twisting and turning Dancing in the flames Dancing to the sweet, macabre notes of Death. 3rd April, 2004 @ 15:40 |
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For
All Fallen Innocence
Come sweetie Sit with me Let's have a martini In your little bikini So cute, so naive Have a martini with me Do you like it stirred or shaken? I like it on your body Let's have another martini My dear girl in the tiny bikini. Drink Drink Drink it all up Drink up your martini Get drunk and out of your bikini. Care for another martini? ************************************* All is hazy Nothing is clear Can't move Want to scream Want to run "You like my cream?" God.. had one too many rum One too many martinis Lead me astray Who is this man? Why am i naked? Where's my bikini? "Want another martini?" Let me go Let me be I want to run I want to break free Stop! Please Gods make him stop! Aaagh ************************************* - For all those
who have been robbed of their innocence and were lured by hypocrites
into ruining their existence.
17th May, 2004
@ 23:32 |
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Infernal
Paradise
You are going through hell, And I enjoy watching you suffer. This is the Infernal Paradise. Once you get in, you can never get out of here! 13th October, 2003
@ 15:56 |
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Love
Confessions
This is a love confession From my heart to yours I have been dead for all these years.. And now I have you Finally I'm alive.. You are the gentle breeze That makes me feel alive while strolling through the streets of the world. You are the sunbeams that shine on my face That warm up and brighten my days You are the sea, that soothes me And flows into my heart And ebbs, taking all the worries away And yet, you are still within me I love you more than anything else For you are the spirit within me You are what makes me real Real in a fantastic way You make me feel loved You make me feel right You are all I want All I need.... forever, tonight. Make me yours Hold me tight You are my destiny, My future... My life. I want you more than ever I need you by my side To cuddle up and talk... To make love, and to sleep. To wake up with you near me To look into your eyes, and see the love shining bright To feel the flame that unites our hearts To be souls united forever as one. You are my love My only one My life You are the first evening star, so pure and so bright. The one that gives me hope The one i believe in My God, My man My beloved. Mine. 4th February, 2004
@ 15:39 |
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Lust
You used me Abused me.. Took away my innocence and ruined my life Now i'm all screwed up Wanting, wishing and craving death... This dirty body, violated Ravished by you.. Do you call yourself Man? Neither man, nor beast Are as cruel as you are. You fucked up my whole life To satisfy your animalistic fantasies. Fuck you - who do you think you are? Taking away my life... My innocence. How I wish I could die right now.. Just drop dead, and never wake up again For I could never stand to look into your eyes once more And see your lust, your wanting me once more. My own blood, my own kin... How could you do this to me? Blood.... my own blood.... You. 13th October, 2003
@ 15:56 |
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Moonlight
Lovers
It was a dark and stormy night As the horseman came galloping throughout the purple moors Only a dark silhouette could be seen of him A dark shadow riding in the moonlight He went up to the old inn's window He tapped on it three times with his whip And then she opened it A young woman with black hair and skin as white as death. Her red lips spoke to him Words as sweet as honey He told her that he would once more ride In the night. He would then return to her And take her away with him He would go back when the full moon rises. He parted with a kiss He galloped away to the west But who was to tell the pretty miss That her beloved would be Death's guest? He lived for her And died for her as well The Lady and her lover Will be reunited in death and together dwell In eternal sleep forever. 13th October, 2003
@ 15:56 |
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Needles
So uncomprehended So misunderstood Why can't you see the beauty within me? Everyone's so shallow and superficial No one understands who I am Beauty can be created, Can be manipulated And so I do, over and over again Manipulating myself Twisting and constructing that which I physically lack. The needle penetrating my skin The thrill, the pain, the adrenaline rush Heartbeat quickens, and I feel alive. Intimate and my own creation My baby, part of me They don't understand They don't even try For being an individual, they condemn you For being a living work of art, they shun you Pierce my body, over and over again But pierce not my heart, for it would not do Don't backstab me, pierce me instead. This is my way of life My path, my destiny My religion. 13th January, 2005
@00:23 |
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Shaman
For long I have searched deep within myself for my true identity, for a place to which I can belong. Many times have I had the illusion of knowing who I truly am, and every time I had to discover that I have reached a dead end. Now that I have been forced with my back against an unknown wall; Now that I have been forced to get acquainted with the negative Me... with Fury, Rage, Anger, Betrayal... Now I have come close with knowing Me. I am not my name, I am not my life. I am not the clothes I wear or the way I put my hair. I am not the music I listen to, the books I read or the words I write. I am not the paintings I make or the drawings I draw. I am a free spirit, part of everything, part of none. I am everything. I am nothing. I just am. That's it. 3rd March, 2005
@ 21:39 |
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Sea
of Memories
I look up to the jewelled sky/ And I see you/ looking down at me/ Tenderly/ Sadly.../ and then I see the others/ looking down/ and judging me./ I don't care what people think/ I don't care what people say/ All I care about is you They took you away from me/ So suddenly/ And before I knew it/ I found myself standing here/ All alone Why did this have to happen?/ Why did they take you away from me?/ I loved you so dearly.../ And now you're gone/ I lost you... Yet, you still live/ In my heart/ and memories.../ You look down on me from up above/ And I know that when I die/ We shall meet again/ and live together forevermore So now I am weeping no more/ And now I live everyday with great joy/ For I know that we shall be reunited/ Someday.../So long, sister/ You live eternally in my heart/ In our hearts... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Dedicated to
SANDRA AQUILINA (9/7/2000) |
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Senseless
Falling I'm falling Into emptiness Into the void of my life Drowning I'm drowning Into sadness Into the sorrow of existence Flying I'm flying Into fire Into the blaze of despair Burning I'm burning In the icy winds of being Bleeding I'm bleeding Bleeding the sorrow The despair that runs in my veins Ruins All's in ruins My life Me You Existence Ceased to be Mayhem The seeds of mayhem are planted Planted in every child's heart Senseless Life is senseless Nothing really is Noone truly was Nowhere will ever be All is dying All is decaying Senseless Everything is senseless 8th August, 2004
@ 13:18 |
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Slave
to Conformity
why the hell are we here, in this world full of shit? constantly oppressed by conformity. all our lives are just one big lame excuse, one big waste of air. constantly being tested and examined by the powerful ones, but somehow we never are up to their standards - we always fail to be who they want us to be. i wish i could fuck it all for once, and truly run away from everyone, truly be free. 8th June, 2004
@ 21:37 |
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Sleeping
Power of the Ancient
Behind these ancient walls I lay, I fall asleep, I go astray. I roam through the heavenly gardens, So unbelievable near, So far away. I come to you, Earth Mother. I run to you, Sky Father. O fly, and I fall, Wholeheartedly, Into your whole being, My self becomes Your self. As it always was, as it should eternally be. I flee from a place of destruction. I run away from hate. I fly into a loving vanilla sky, and be free for eternity. I cross over into Your realm. Forever to be. Never to exist. 26th May, 2004
@ 23:04 |
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The
Bastard
She slid her hands down his muscular chest and ran her fingers over his toned stomach She kissed his full lips and climbed over him Then she kiss his neck and his broad shoulders Then they became one Two bodies united She screamed out in ecstasy And he repaid her with his moans They rocked forward and backward All night long Till they both reached the peak and collapsed in happy exhaustion And as she cuddled up to him He looked at her satisfied When she woke up the next day He was gone... But he left a note saying... "Sorry, but you are just a number to me. Thanks for the fun and pleasure. Bye!" 1st February, 2003
@ 10:54 |
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Thirteen
Trees
In sleep, I stir I see myself Walking through the pathways again And then, a gate Surprised I walk To my mysterious fate. Up a, steep hill A winding path I walk with no sign of my way. And then, a clearing I emerge between A circle of strong trees, thirteen A sign on each Confused I see The stages of me on each tree. A babe, a child A small girl of five A young girl of nine, I see. A teen as well On a strong branch I dwell And ponder on the meaning of this. A woman, so young And then, childbound A mother of three I see. A woman, growing old With skin starting to wrinkle and fold. A crone, I see And realise that's me With children grown up, and free. A grandma, behold! Grown wise and old! Caring for nephews and nieces so bold. And then a hag With skin gone sag With death's presence starting to me nag. Grown older than most Soon to be a ghost Still surrounded by my beloved, I boast! The twelfth, I see In a coffin, lieth me Sleeping peacefully, finally free. On tree, thirteen Behold what I've seen An ageless being, both what I'll be and what I've been! "It is my rebirth!" I realise without hurt, "For more than dirt I be!" Suddenly, I jerk And open me eyes to this wonderful work Of art - beautiful creation. What I, have seen And what, I've felt A timeless place... there I've dwelt. So beautiful, and true For me, and for you, Is life with all its ups and downs. My friend, live free Do not jut be For we, spirits of nature, forever will be. Enjoy creation to the most Till a greeting from Afterlife, to you they post. And then, celebrate For a new journey will compensate The life you lived with joy and sorrow. 12th October, 2004 @ 20:31 |
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To
dream.... in vain
So fucked up, so void of feelings I've been used and abused too many times. Now I look at myself in a mirror, and wonder I ask "What's left of me?" I've been broken into pieces, into fragments and crushed into dust. This sorry wreck I see in the mirror, has nothing left of who I used to be. This is the new me. This is the me who has been poked and stabbed, throughout the years. This is the me that has been forced into a box, fed chemicals, and been modelled and shaped. This is the me who is not me. This is the me who, nostalgically, thinks of the times go by, and dreams of being free. Too many hands have modelled this dirty piece of clay. Too many tongues have harmed this being who is now just putrid decay. Too many hearts have hated this torn soul. Too many evils have raped this fucked up mind. Robbed of innocence, Raped and beaten up, till I lost my senses. Then woken up, through the aid of smelling salts, Only to find this harsh reality. Only to find that I am who I never wanted to be. This is not the true me. this is not who I used to be. This is not real, it's not real, I say to myself. "Wake up honey, and smell the coffee. This is your life. This is real. Deal with it." 26th December, 2004
@ 14.39 |
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Truly
yours
Spin your web around me Embrace me in your silent death Devour my soul, Feed on me Make me yours. The spider has begun spinning her web the web of relief The doomsinger is announcing my turn And I eagerly respond Encase me in your tomb Bind me with your threads Never release me I want to be your forever The spider is still spinning The spinster of death lulling me to sleep Forever, in her arms. I come, mother Take me in your arms Forever, yours. Truly yours, In death. Release me from this burden Which they call life. For I long to sleep So that I may never rise again. Ever. Mother spider, lull me to sleep Spin your loving web around my heart Embrace me, in your deathly manner. Feed on me. I want to be Truly yours, In Death. Forever, yours. Truly yours, Forever. 17th February, 2004
@ 19:33 |
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Wish
I wish i could kiss your sadness way And make it a brighter day To see you smile, To hear you laugh I wish i could make the whole thing right And make the future truly more bright To make you happy To make you feel good I wish i could wish and makes things true And make life easier, for me and for you To make you feel loved To make you feel mine But I can't Not now Not today But someday I will And things will be fine And things will be right once more Once and for all. I love you. 6th April, 2004
@ 15:02 |
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Witch's
Chant
three times round the magick circle, chant and dance through the night, watched by Hecate, loved by Aphrodite Chant and dance, o pure ones Through the woods, over the waves Fly through the night Led by your souls' sight The Lady calls to you, Loving mother, blessed child Like a babe, in her mother's arms So shall you be free and wild And roam throughout the Lady's realm Fly up high in the night sky Led by the silver threads of the moon Ride the waves, swim in the sea Join the mermaids as they sing Beautiful, natural Let your voice, in the night echo and against the rocks ring Over bush and under branch Swing and sway Lead and follow through Mother's realm By night and by day Wild spirits, young and free Always were, always shall be Fair folk, mer folk All children of the Goddess and God Hecate, Isis, Aphrodite Pan, Hernes, Adonis Blessed are thou, Father.. Mother Blessed are thy children Who You, with a kiss Protect them through eternity. 13th October, 2003
@ 15:56 |
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You
Are My Death
I am standing here on the edge of a cliff Are you going to push me over the edge? It was you Only you It's your fault if I am standing on the thin line which separates life and death Just one word could decide my faith - Dead... or alive? You pushed me towards the edge You don't care whether I live or die whether I walk back or jump off the edge and fly towards my end I can take it no more I am standing here Now On the edge of this cliff You pushed me over the edge And I'm flying towards Death The sea engulfs me And air is forced out of me The sea embraces my tired body and lulls me to sleep... Sleep... an eternal sleep. 1st February, 2003
@ 11:01 |
| I decided to post all the poems
and essays which I have on my pc (which is the major part of the stuff
i write....) so that, just in case , I die before ever publishing them,
I will have shared them with you. Thank you for reading them. Please feel free to comment on them. Brightest Blessings, )O( Rosalind )O( |