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Yo! It's time to bust out some Bulldoganomics.
It's
time, once again, for Inside The Ropes,
Where we deliver to you, all the straight-up gossip,
No way that yours truly
is ever gonna lose,
And now it's time, to deliver the report.
World life!
Hey, everyone, all rapping aside,
it's me, Canadian Bulldog and this is another JAM-PACKED edition of Inside The Ropes. But before we get things
underway, it's time for one of my patented Trivia Questions. Answer at the end of this column:
Who was the first
World Champion of the WWF?
(A) Superstar Billy Graham
(B) Bruno Santamartina
(C) Diesell
(D) Some Other Guy
(E)
Diamand Dallas Page
(F) All of the above
Last week, I promised you an interview with The Greatest One, The New
People's Champion, The Rock! And now, without further ado, here it is
This is a FULL, UNEDITED, TRANSCRIPT. You
were warned!
Oh, and websitemasters: feel free to use this interview on your site. Just give credit to me and the folks
at BackslashWrestling.
TR: Hello?
CB: Hello, how are you doing?
TR: I'm good. Who's this?
CB: Canadian
Bulldog. From Inside The Ropes.
TR: Okay. And where do I know you from?
CB: Possibly Inside The Ropes. My wrestling
column.
TR: Why am I being called for a wrestling column?
CB: Question number one: Why did you leave the WWE earlier
this year? Was it to film movies?
TR: Well, I'm doing movies right now, yeah, but I think.
CB: Question number two:
Why did you tell Stone Cold to go the F home?
TR: Wait wait. Hold up
CB: Question number three: How did it feel to lose
to Goldenberg during his first match back?
TR: Wait! Stop!!! Who are you looking to talk to?
CB: The Rock.
TR:
(Laughs uncontrollably) Kid you have the wrong number. This isn't "The" Rock. I'm Chris Rock, the actor.
CB: Oh
I'm sorry.
CR: (Laughing for a while longer) No, its all good, man. Now, did you want to ask ME any questions for your
little column?
CB: No thanks! Bye!
We hope to have part two of this EXCLUSIVE JAM-PACKED INTERVIEW soon!!!
This
Just In! Randy Orton is probably the best young WWE superstar EVER! This third-generation superstar has it in his blood;
he's the son of former gladiator Randy Poffo and grandson of High Chief Peter Maivia, who's the son of The
Rock. There's no telling how far this youngster can go!!!
Yours truly was at this week's Smack! Down tapings in
my home town of Toronto, Alberta. Without giving away too much from the best Smack! Down EVER, here are a few spoilers:
-
They tape Velocity before Smack! Down, but on TV it looks like it's two separate shows. Who knew?
- Matt Hardy Version
1.1, The Bastion Brothers and John Ceno all appeared on the power-packed card.
- Brock Lesnor wrestled in the
main event!!! And, for all of you who were wondering, yes, Big Show is bigger than he looks on TV!!!
Update
on Hulk Hollywood Hogan: He's still fired from the WWE.
Now that WWE Corporation has cleared its payroll of
no-talent guys like Crash Hardy and Saturn, could The Man They Call Sting be headed in? According to
a thread on the 411 Mania message board, yes!!!
Where exactly is Big Sex Killer Kevin Nash these days?
This youngster is full of promise and I'm pleading with the WWE braintrust not to give up on him yet.
Speaking of lists,
everyone in the IWC (Internet Wrestling Corporation) has seen by now the ICW 100 written by top-ranking journalist
Flee. Well, not to toot my own horn, as Tugboat Thomas used to say, but yours truly has come up with the best
IWC 100 EVER! Here it is, in no particular order:
(1) Christopher Robert Zimmerman (2) Scott Keith (3) The Guy Who
Used To Write A Column on Scoop's (4) The Real Deal RJR Reynolds (5) Derek Kurrgan (6) Scott Keith (7) Hugh Morris (8) Dave
Scaia (9) Bob Ryder Fakin' (10) The Guy Who Keeps Telling Me My Column Is Funny (11) Scott Keith (12) Flae (13) Chrissy Hyatt
(14) Matt Hardy (not the wrestler, the guy who does Satire) (15) Sgt. Slaughter (16) The Kids At Wwe.com (17) Hashish (18)
Mojo Mitchell (19) Dean Malenko (20) Scott Keith (21) The Rowdy Scotsman (22) My Buddy Phil Chertok (who doesn't write about
wrestling, its more of a shout-out to him) (23) The Other Guy at 1wrestling.com (24) Mr. Tito Santana (25) Tito Santana (the
wrestler!) (26) Z-Man (27) Bryan Pillman (28) P.N. Newz (29) El Giga oh, wait. Sorry, I was reading from a 1991 WCW Top 10
list. (30) Jebediah Lund (31) The Honky Tonky Man (32) Scott Keith (33) Jeremy Boris (34) Good Ol' JR (35) My Buddy Stu Stone
(see #22 for background) (36) Rajahwwf.com (37) B. Brian Blair (38) Uh. That's all I can think of.
Sources tell me
that Hog and Animal, The Legion of Doom aren't headed back to WWE despite their kick-ass tryout a few weeks ago.
The
Immortal Zak Gowan defeated Bigshow last month in a match of the year candidate to renew his contract with the
WWF! I have to say I was impressed by this young Mexican. To me, I couldn't even tell he was using a fake arm.
Not
really a wrestling-related comment, but the best movie this summer? By far, it has to be Legally Blind 2!!! Trust me
on this one, folks
Who will win the upcoming tournament to win the newly created U.S. Title? Don't quote me on this,
but I have a feeling it will be R D V!!!
And now it's time for questions and answers, or as I like to call
it, Q & A. We only got one question this week, so I'll answer that one. But please please please send in your questions,
and I'll try to get to them all. Email me at Canadian_bulldog@hotmail.com
Q: How did you get to be such a good Internet
columnist? You're the best one out there. LOL!
A: Thanks for the compliment, Lol (is that pronounced "Lowell"?). My personal
philosophy is that you can never read enough insider publications, such as Wrestling Eye or Inside Wrestling.
I don't seem to find them at my newsstand much anymore, but they're still cashing in my subscription cheques, so it must just
be a delay of several years.
Anyways, I would make sure to read those mags religiously. For example, I read one this week
from July 1994 (Cover story: Yokozuna's deadly plot to bury The Undertaker REVEALED!) and it was telling me insider things
like what Junkyard Dog's favorite food is, and you never know when that will come in handy. That's my advice to you, and good
luck Lol!
That's it for this week, folks. Be sure to send me any comments, feedback, suggestions, criticism, junk mail,
advertisements, hate mail, chain mail or recipes to Canadian_bulldog@hotmail.com
Until next week, remember if you
heard it here, it's. Inside The Ropes!!!
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