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No time to do one of my patented cute openings this week, as we have a lot to get to!
Hi, there, my name is Canadian Bulldog and this is Inside The Ropes. Needless to say, we have another JAM-PACKED
edition here for you.
Trivia Question: Answer to follow
Who is the best worker ever?
(a) Benoit
(b) Kurt
Angle
(c) Diamand Dallas Page
(d) Tatsumi Fujinami
(e) Charlie Horse and Sheldon Benjamin
(f) Tito The Dragon
Santana
(g) Chris Benoit
This just in!!!! Hulk ``Hollywood'' Hogan has been released by World Wrestling
Entertainment Corp.!!! According to a statement on their Website, Hogan was making comments on the HBO show Sex
In The City about the company that weren't true, such as him being their biggest star. The WWE said that Hogan ``needs
to get help for the sake of him and his family.'' !!!
This is sad news from where I sit (in my living room, at my computer
desk). While Hulk wasn't the youngest superstar on the roster, he was definitely the most talented. For those of you new to
the business, here is a brief retrospective on the career of ``The Great One'':
Hogan was an icon in The Old WCW
and after the invasion angle did so well, he was invited in to try his luck against WWF's best. He had a classic encounter
with Rocky Maivia at WrestleMania X-X-7 last year and then he challenged Undisputed World Champion Triple
HHH for the belt and won it, to the delight of fans everywhere.
Hogan left for a while last year because the WWF changed
its name to WWE. He then came back to fight former commentator Vince McMacMahon at Wrestle Mania in another power-packed
bout.
Then, for some reason, he was suspended, and got tired of waiting out his contract. Rumor has it he's headed
back to Hollywood, where he made great films as No Holds Barred: The Match, The Movie, Superstar Commando, Mr.
American Nanny and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Visit Mega Mountain and he also made cameo appearances on shows
such as Alf and The Hogan Family.
While it hasn't been confirmed yet, the gossip web site Isn't It
Cool? News says he's in talks to film a sequel to the movie The Incredible Hulk which will be called Hulk vs
Hulk: Return of Hulk. Can't wait for that one!!!
Also, Rowdy Scot Roddy Piper and The Houdini of Hardcore
Crash Hardy were fired this week.
I continue to be impressed by the work of The Big Damn Machine Kane! Now
that he's all unmasked and furious, can anyone stop him? Don't tell anyone you heard it here, but a little bird told me that
he's going to be spending the summer FEUDING!!!- with one RDV!!!
Calling Drill Sergeant Slaughter: Please
come back to television. The World (Wrestling Entertainment Federation) needs you!!!
Current plans are underway for
Olympic Champion Kurt Angel to test his mettle (pun not intended) against Former Olympic Champion Brock Lesnor
at the next pay-per-view extravaganza, Vengeance Is Mine. I never thought I'd see the day when these two gladiators
would lock horns, but it should be a somewhat decent match.
And hopefully, once they're done with that little feud,
maybe its time to put some New Stars into the title picture. What about Mr. America, for pete's sake? The guy's
earned his shot! Or what about Zak "Don't Call Me Larry" Gowan? And what about Raven????
Where the heck
is Prisoner Nathan Jones these days? The guy practically carried Smack! Down all by himself
Is Lance Storm
as boring as everyone says he is these days? Yes!!!
Fans everywhere rejoice:Badd Mr. Ass Billy Gun is headed
back to the WWE!!! All the so-called "experts" said that Gunn was "finished" because of his torn neck "injury". Well, those
same "experts" were "wrong" because they didn't "factor" in one "thing". Mr. Ass has lots of Mr. Heart!!! Hmm, maybe that
should be his new catchphrase.
The undefeated streak is over!!! It seems as though this weekend's edition of Eric
Bischoff's Monday Night Raw sees the end of Rodney Max's streak, after the one and only Bill Goldenberg
gave him the dreaded spear! You have to believe that Max's manager T.D. Long is hopping mad and may have to open up
a can of Gatorade on Goldenberg's behind!!!
If anyone can make it as a singles star, its Rosie, formerly
of Three Man Warning. Perhaps you, too, could be managed by T.D. Long, creating a superstable with Max, Christopher
Lewinsky, and Jasz
Where has Velocity been all my life? What a great little show, packing in everything
you may have missed on shows such as Smack! Down and Heat. Keep this stuff up, folks!
Folks, I've just gotten word
that next week right here in this very column!!!! I'll be interviewing none other than The New People's Champ, The Rock!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If
any of you little Rockamaniacs out there have a question for "The Greatest One" email it to me at Canadian_bulldog@hotmail.com.
So far, these are the questions I have:
(1) How tall are you in real life?
(2) Where do you get off telling Steve
Austin he can 'Go The F Home' ?
(3) What movies have you made so far?
And now, in honor of the Late, Great Hulk
Hogan, here's a Hulk-like promo to introduce Q&A:
"Well, lemme tell you somethin', brothers and sisters! What
are you going to do, when the largest arms in the world, read the mailbag for Youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!! Boom-shaka-laka!!"
Q:
Is Lance Storm really that boring?
A: Not really. It depends.
Q: Aren't you sick of these angles where Vince drags us
along for weeks and weeks at a time, and they never deliver a payoff?
A: No.
Q: Hi, Bulldog. I'm a Canadian wrestling
fan, and I love your column. One question: Did you see the HBO special last week where they talked about drug use in professional
wrestling?
A: How small a world is that? I'm from Canada too!
Q: Do you know who's on the upcoming house show in my
area?
A: DETROIT, July 1 /PRNewswire/ -- This August 19, pick up that favorite reclining chair and toss it aside! It's
time to witness WWE the way it's intended to be seen -- live -- and at Joe Louis Arena. The feuding, chair-throwing, body-slamming,
name-calling phenomena called WWE SmackDown will rock
Detroit's Joe Louis Arena 7:30 p.m. August 19. Tickets go on sale
at 10 a.m. on Saturday, July 19.
The superstars* of WWE will bring the drama of SmackDown, the top-rated UPN show, center
stage at Joe Louis Arena where local fans will have the rare opportunity to be part of the live television audience. If you
haven't witnessed the action of WWE live -- you don't know what you're missing!
Tickets ($15, $20, $30 and $45) for WWE
SmackDown go on sale at 10 a.m. Saturday, July 19 at the Joe Louis Arena and Fox Theatre box offices, and Hockeytown Authentics
in Troy (without service charges) and all Ticketmaster locations, including Marshall Field's. Charge by phone to Visa, MasterCard,
American
Express and Discover at 248-645-6666 or purchase online at www.OlympiaEntertainment.com or www.Ticketmaster.com . For information, call the Olympia Entertainment event hotline at 313-471-6606 or visit the Olympia
Entertainment Web site at www.OlympiaEntertainment.com .
Q: What's D-Lo Brown up to these days?
A: D-Lo Brown, real name Don Brown, is currently
parting ways with World Wrestling Entertainment. He can be seen wrestling elsewhere; not sure where. Thanks for the compliment.
That's
all for this week folks, but if you have any news, rumors, complaints or feedback (no complaints, please), email me at Canadian_bulldog@hotmail.com.
Or for those without internet access, go to a library and email me at Canadian_bulldog@hotmail.com
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