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Epilogue

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Integra sighed softly as she scribbled furiously at her desk.  The sun had just set making it exactly one week since /that/ incident.  The look of horror on Walter’s face as he broke down the door the morning after was firmly etched on her mind.  In an uncharacteristic show of emotions, the butler had let his jaw hang for a full minute before realizing it.

 

Of course Walter was too polite to mention the incident again but there were those awkward moments thereafter when the 3 of them were in the same room.  The air was so tense at those times you could cut it with a butter knife.

 

Holding up her work against her forehead, Integra swore she could kill herself for her stupidity. 

 

[Knock knock]

 

“Integra-sama?” Integra panicked and promptly dropped her report.

 

Seras?  Oh great, just the person she needed to deal with now.  Integra was cold but not oblivious to the adoration the policewoman had for Alucard, which clearly went beyond the usual master-minion affection.  Integra felt as if as she had betrayed Seras by /the/ incident.

 

“Integra-sama?”

 

“Come in Seras”.  Integra steadied herself.  It was all a dream, a midsummer’s nightmare and no more.  She could deal with this.  She would forget all about what had happened last week and life would resume its normal course.  Heck, with any luck she would be yelling at Alucard in her usual fashion by tomorrow instead of moping around him like some lovesick puppy.  Of course it would take her a little longer to put /the/ incident out of her mind but … damn, he looked hot that morning.  (Despite the fact he looked like a scarecrow to most people at first sight, Integra Hellsing realized that she could now testify to the fact that Alucard was, on the contrary, a well built man.)

 

“Integra-sama?”  Seras looked curiously at the dreamy Integra.

 

“Huh?” Integra realized too late that she had been staring into space for the last ten seconds.  Berating herself for looking like a fool, she motioned for Seras to sit down.  “Yes, what is it Seras?”

 

“Integra-sama, can we talk?”  Integra sighed softly.  Why were the undead so fond of talk?

 

“Well we are talking aren’t we?  What do you need to speak to me about?”

 

“It’s about master.  Ever since that night last week he sent me to deal with those freaks alone, he’s been acting a little, uhm how should I put it, weird?”  Integra felt a migraine coming on.

 

“Weird?  Alucard is the epitome of weird.  I wouldn’t stress myself worrying about it.”  Integra paused.  She sounded like she was trying to convince herself rather than Seras.

 

“Well, he’s so distracted recently.  He’s always staring into space and smiling to himself.  And I found this in his coffin last night.”

 

“Far be it from me to intrude in your after office activities, but what were you doing in his coffin?”  Integra remarked somewhat sourly before she caught herself.  Fortunately, Seras was too distracted to catch the note of jealousy.

 

“I had some free time and decided to do a little spring cleaning.  Integra-sama, I can understand if he’s got half empty blood packs, cigarettes or even … a naughty magazine.  But what is master doing with this?”  Seras embarrassedly placed on Integra’s desk … a set of ladies intimates.

 

Integra’s eyeballs nearly fell out of their sockets.  Damn, no wonder she couldn’t find them … but what the hell were they doing in Alucard’s coffin?  What the …

 

“Integra-sama, why is your face so red?”  Integra glanced horrified at her reflection in the mirror on her right.  Her reflection stared back, blushing like a tomato.

 

“Uhm, uhm …” Integra was lost for words.

 

“And laced, purple … I didn’t know they had them in this shade.”

 

“Seras, I’m not sure I’m the correct person to advise you on this.” Integra was beginning to stammer.

 

“He’s seeing another lady vampire on the side.  I’m sure he is.  And look at the size of this thing!  She’s got even larger assets than I do!” Seras was positively hysterical.

 

Integra would have paid anything for the earth to swallow her up at this point in time.

 

Seras begin sobbing.  “That cad of a master.  He’s so horrid.  I mean, is it an old flame?  Is she gorgeous?  What kind of vampire is she?  She must be some sexy vamp.  When did they meet up?  He’s not seeing anyone is he?  Is it a fling or …”

 

“Uhm.” Integra wondered what was taking the earthquake so long to occur.

 

“Do you suppose he’s known her for long?”

 

“Uhm.”

 

“Well, he’s much older than me.  Integra-sama, you have known master for at least 10 years.  What kind of women does he like?”

 

“Uhm.”

 

“Does he like them big?”

 

“Uhm.”  To Integra, a horde of rabid ghouls was preferable to remaining a second longer in this ridiculous and awkward situation.

 

“The thorny kind.”  Startled, the 2 women turned to find Alucard lurking in the shadows, and smirking.

 

“How long have you been standing there Alucard?”

 

No answer.  Goodness knows how long he had been there.  Integra made a note to have extra lights installed in her bedroom, the last thing she needed now was a voyeuristic subordinate.

 

“Well Seras, nice to know the culprit of all your problems was here all along.  Ahh, you guys work this out.  I’ve got to uhm, make some phone calls.” Integra began walking to the door.  Walking?  Running was more like it.

 

As she grabbed the doorknob, she felt Alucard grab her free wrist.

 

“Alucard I’m sorry but you’re on your own.” She struggled but he held firm.

 

“Master.  I I …”

 

“Policewoman, I need you to leave us.”

 

“Master … I didn’t mean to.”

 

“Go.  I have things to discuss with Integra-sama.  We will discuss your unauthorized sojourn into my private coffin later.”

 

Seras left the room reluctantly.  Careful to ensure that Seras was out of earshot, Integra decided to broach the subject delicately NOT.

 

“Alucard what the hell is my … underwear doing in your coffin?” she screamed, livid.

 

“Won’t you like to know.”

 

“WHAT!!! ALUCARD YOU …”

 

Integra never got to finish her sentence.  Pressing his mouth to hers, Alucard sucked at her lips greedily.  “The last week being apart from you was torture.”

 

“No Alucard … don’t …”

 

“Quiet my little white rose.”  He ran his hands frantically through her hair, matching her frenzied inspection of his.

 

“… stop …”

 

“Now why didn’t you say so earlier.”

 

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“Are you sure this is a good idea?”

 

“Absolutely.  Our first date was at your chambers.  I insist the second one should be at mine.”

 

“But Seras.”

 

“She’s out … she’s checking on the identity of the oh-so mysterious owner of your property …”

 

“Alucard, I don’t know … this is so wrong.”

 

“Look at it this way, the chances of being interrupted is less.  Walter doesn’t bring me breakfast like he does for you.”

 

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“Round 3 my little darling?  My turn to be on top now, you had 2 rounds already.”

 

“Alucard you horrible … Uhm Alucard …” Integra’s voice suddenly dropped to a strained whisper, “I don’t think we’re quite alone anymore.”

 

To Integra’s absolute horror (and Alucard’s amusement), the cover to the coffin had been lifted, and staring at them in absolute disbelief and shock was Seras.

 

“Ahh, Walter asked me to inform you that the coffin maker will be here in an hour’s time … and and …” Seras mumbled something about maintenance and polishing works before running off ashen faced.

 

Integra rubbed her temples … this was going to be a hard one to explain.

 

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Walter was laying the final touches on the table as he prepared Integra’s breakfast.  He glanced briefly at his list of chores for the day, which included ensuring that the monthly maintenance of Alucard’s and Seras’s coffins was carried out.

 

Turning around, he found a wailing Seras standing behind him, bawling her heart out.

 

He sighed knowingly as he tried to comfort Seras, “Missy and Alucard at it again?”

 

 

 

The END

7 August 2002

 

~ kit

The same caveats apply.

Finale