CONCLUSION – WAKING UP TO REALITY
“Alucard you bastard!”
”Look I didn’t know.”
“What do you mean you didn’t know. You told me it won’t happen.”
“Look it’s not supposed to happen. Well, it’s almost impossible.”
“What do you it’s /almost/ impossible?” she screeched.
“Vampires are not supposed to be able to sire children, especially where humans are concerned. As far as I am aware, we will be the second only occurrence in the last five hundred years.”
“The second?” she sputtered. “And you’re telling me this only now? Why the hell didn’t you say anything earlier …”
“You didn’t protest when we were …”
“I know … ugh, how could I have been so stupid?”
“Integra …”
“I’ll deal with myself later but YOU, why didn’t you tell me? If I had known I would have at least taken the pill or something!”
“I didn’t think ...”
“DAMN RIGHT YOU DIDN’T!” The woman was livid. “And what the hell am I going to do now. I’ve just been reinstated by her Majesty. What in the world am I going to say when she and the whole world notices the bulge in my tummy two months from now?”
“You could claim to be artificially inseminated or you could tell her the truth - that we forgot our contraception measures and you thus got pregnant by your pet vampire?”
A series of gunshots was heard in response. Outside the closed doors, Walter and Seras winced. Walter sighed worriedly. “This is not a great way to start a pregnancy.”
Seras quietly nodded in reply and wisely chose to say no more.
The next four weeks did not pass pleasantly at the Hellsing household. Sir Hellsing did not take well to the morning sickness. She was constantly throwing up and unable to eat much. Her anxiety at the imaginary bulge in her stomach was increasing by the day. While single motherhood was not as frowned upon now in modern society, she doubted that such understanding extended to a situation of pre-marital pregnancy by a vampire.
On his end, Walter was extremely concerned that she showed no signs of letting up where work was concerned. All the books he had gathered for his task at hand did little to advice on vampire pregnancies. How in the world was a butler supposed to care for his mistress when she was pregnant by a vampire? Walter was however, convinced that lots of rest and good nutrition would be conducive to the mother’s health regardless of whether the foetus was human or otherwise. Although finally able to convince her to half her cigar rations, he was less successful about her workload.
If he didn’t know her better, Walter would have sworn she was resorting to work to distract herself from her problem at hand, on in her case, in her tummy.
Seras was struggling to cope with the flurry of events. The realization that either a baby vampire or a baby human or whatever was to be, would be coming along in nine months had threatened to unnerve her totally. Fortunately, the young vampire retained enough wit to realize the best course of action for the time being was to keep out of Integra’s way. In fact, Seras was convinced that anything and everything that reminded Integra of Alucard was best kept out of Integra’s way, especially the vampire himself. Walter had taken great pains to ensure that Alucard was suitably kept on the field each night. Alucard himself appeared more than eager to be out of the manor as soon as the sun had set.
Integra’s mood swings had somewhat stabilized. Contrite, she had apologized to Walter and Seras for her tantrums thrown the last month. She was however, still refusing to talk to Alucard who was nowhere to be found as soon as the sun had set. While Integra was a little comforted by the fact she was throwing up less now, the bulge in her stomach was becoming a harsh reality.
While serving her favorite Earl Gray at tea one day, Walter (unable to refuse a favor to an old war buddy) decided to broach the subject delicately. “Integra-sama. Forgive me for saying this, but you have been rather hard on Alucard recently.”
She glared. Walter winced slightly as he realized the double meaning of his words. “No what I mean is … It’s not entirely his fault, you know. He really didn’t expect this. I don’t think vampire-human pregnancies are all that common.”
“Okay, I’ll go apologize to him. But that doesn’t mean I won’t kill him.”
Integra opened her eyes. She had been trying to sleep for the last hour but the pangs were keeping her awake. Prodding the vampire next to her, she asked “Alucard …are you awake?”
Alucard wrapped his arms around her waist. Her back pressed against him, he laid his chin comfortingly against the top of her head. “Yes.”
“I’m hungry … I have a …”
“A craving? Walter told me and I’ve read about it.”
“You read about it?” she looked at him rather surprised.
“Yes, what do you think I was doing for the last few months? I was reading up at the local library on maternal care.”
Integra flushed with guilt. “Alucard, I’m sorry about my behavior … I …”
“No worries, it was the hormones. I totally understand. It was my fault too for not having taken precautions. But about your craving …”
“Well, could you … get me some sardines, marinated jellyfish, strawberries, peaches and cream?”
He looked at her, incredulous. “What? I know I’m an all powerful vampire but how the hell am I supposed to get all that? It’s three in the morning and all the stores are closed.”
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Five minutes later, a burglar alarm at the local grocer was heard going off. A small crowd of onlookers, awoken by the sound, murmured curiously as the grocer announced that nothing had been lost except 2 cans of sardines, all his canned marinated jellyfish, a dozen peaches, 3 boxes of strawberries and 2 quarts of cream, for which payment had been left on the counter. No one noticed a tall man with a red hat as he stalked away with a paper bag full of groceries, muttering something about how most normal pregnant women just craved ice-cream.
“ALUCARD YOU BASTARD, I’LL KILL YOU!”
“Now, now Sir Hellsing … you must concentrate on the task at hand. Push …”
“Push my arse. I’m going to kill him first. He’s the one who got me into this mess. I swear if I live through this I’m going to put so many bullets through him Walter will have to sweep him up with a dustpan.” Integra screeched at her vampire as he stood nervously near the bed.
“Ahhh …” she screamed as the contractions started again. The water bag had broken 5 hours earlier and still she had yet to deliver the child. Writhing from the pain from the latest wave of contractions, she grabbed at the first thing handy – Alucard’s hand and squeezed with all her might.
“Sir Hellsing, I know Alucard may be immortal but at the rate you’re squeezing his hand, it’ll break.”
“Not as much pain as he is causing me! Ahhhh not again …”
Integra let out a string of curses that would have made a sailor blush.
--------------------
Integra awoke to the sight of Walter, Seras and Alucard peering concernedly at her. “Congratulations … it’s a boy. He looks exactly like you.”
She rubbed her temples as Seras and Walter began chatting excitedly. “We were thinking of baby names. How about something that begins with D?” chirped Seras happily. “Here, you will want to carry him but be careful, our little Lord Hellsing has a full set of fangs and he bites.” Walter beamed as he held out the newborn, his fingers covered with bandages.
Integra stared confusedly at the baby. He was beautiful, but so pale. “Ah, it’s feeding time … the nurse who helped you deliver is coming now … we should ask her advice on this,” said Walter waved excitedly at the plump nurse entering the ward.
Integra looked at the approaching nurse with trepidation. She had a very bad feeling about this whole affair. Marching up to Integra’s bedside, the nurse removed her operation mask. Integra nearly fainted as she recognized with horror, the matronly lady to be the Queen herself. Following in the Queen’s wake, was a horde of paparazzi.
“Sir Integra Wingates Hellsing! Pregnant by your own vampire! Explain yourself immediately!” screeched the Queen as the cameras behind her started clicking away furiously.
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Integra awoke with a resounding scream. She breathed heavily as she tried to calm herself down. What an absolutely horrifying dream. The whole affair had been senseless, in particular the last part about her getting pregnant and all, and yet it seemed so real. She shuddered, wondering what in the world had prompted such a nightmare.
She shook her head to clear it. She never did take well to warm weather. The heat had to be reason for her nightmare. She had also not been sleeping well since her departure from London a week ago (shortly after he had broken her out of the Tower of London, Alucard and Walter had smuggled her out of London in one of Alucard’s spare coffins). Her watch on the bedside table indicated that it was five minutes to sunrise. The sight of the river Seine outside her window reminded her that she was in Paris, not in London explaining before an enraged Queen why she was pregnant, with all people, Alucard’s child.
“Master?”
“Alucard, what the hell are you doing in the corner of my room? You nearly scared the hell out of me.” Integra gasped as she tried to recover from the shock of seeing the subject of her dreams in her room.
The vampire lifted a eyebrow. “I heard you scream ‘Alucard you bastard, I’ll kill you!’ Naturally I believe that this is of concern to anything and anyone named Alucard.”
“Nothing … nothing at all. I just had a bad dream.”
“I see. Then you won’t mind if I retire?”
“Not at all.” Integra waved at him distractedly. “Wait.”
“Yes master?”
“Alucard … can, can one … can one get pregnant by a vampire? Hypothetically?”
Alucard grinned. It was a personal achievement to see Integra hem and haw like an embarrassed teenager. “Well … most people can’t.”
“Most people?”
“It’s very rare but one case may have happened in the last five hundred years.”
“I … I see.”
“Why do you ask my Master?” Alucard was grinning more broadly now.
“Nothing, I was just curious … the books said nothing about such things.” Integra blushed furiously. She prayed the vampire could not see the flush on her cheeks.
“… Well, I shall take my leave since you’re in no danger of an attack.”
“…”
“And oh Master …”
“Yes?”
“Sardines, marinated jellyfish, strawberries, peaches and cream?” With a mischievous grin, Alucard disappeared into the shadows of her room, leaving an extremely mortified Integra.
Seconds after seeing Alucard prop himself into his coffin; Walter heard a very familiar voice booming from the adjourning room.
“ALUCARD YOU BASTARD, I’LL STAKE YOU MYSELF IF IT IS THE LAST THING I DO!”
--- THE END ---
Kit ~ Heh heh … I know I stink but I hope you all enjoyed it all despite this 4th instalment is absolutely off the rocker. As the story is titled, Integra just had a nightmare in the middle of summer, one that appeared to last 9 months thanks to the ability of Alucard to interfere in one's dreams and to cast illusions. What can I say? Like the boy in the lieder set out at the prologue, he had intended to irritate the spiky flower. While he succeeds in doing so, he gets a thorn or two from the irrate flower for his pains - that's my take on the AXI relationship. They'll fight till kingdom come even though they are so right for each other. And while I'm dreadfully partial to AxI, I think our resident bloodsucker will have to work a little harder than just his usual spates of master baiting (blame the person named below for that phrase) to win the affections of the lady or at least her consent to join him as an undead. The story line was formed with the abetment of Eline (http://www.theparapet.net) over fried cheese, magaritas and a question “How do you think Integra is like during PMS?”” The thought of Integra with pregnancy mood swings naturally followed. Amazing what cheese and tequila does to you.