MIRANDA 2: "CHANGES" (an Acme Acres Fan Fic) v1.1 by Jerry D. Withers (Furrball T. Cat)(jwithers@tcfn.org) -0- It was late Sunday afternoon, and Rhubella Rat had only just returned from her annual weekend trip to the Hamptons, which she took every year at this time. It was a habit left over from her Perfecto days (the philosophy went something like, 'Some folks make an annual pilgrimage to Mecca, status-seekers go to the Hamptons.'), but lately, it just wasn't as much fun for her as a trip to the Mega Mall with her Acme Loo pals. She made up her mind as she set her valise down on the floor that this year's trip would be the last. She decided not to dwell on that, and get busy with something she found a lot more fun and stimulating, namely, checking on the local gossip in and around Acme Acres, when her phone rang. "Already?" she asked with a grin. "Oh, well... hello? You've reached the offices of Bonnie & Clyde Bank Securities, a wholly-owned division of..." The voice on the other end interrupted her joking. "Rhubella?" the voice blubbered. "It's... it's RuBarb... I've been trying to reach you all weekend..." "Rue? What's wrong?" "It's... it's about Miranda... she's in the hospital..." Ruby could tell by the cat's tone that any and all joking would have to be put on the back burner. "Why? What happened?" "She... she's had an accident..." "Okay, okay, calm down. Are you there now?... Okay, I'm on my way right now, just sit tight... okay, kid, see you in a bit." Ruby hung up the phone glumly. By the sound of things, whatever happened to the pint-sized mink was serious... more serious than she was used to. After taking a deep breath, she dashed out of the house and hopped in her Plymouth Prowler. Unpacking could wait. This was more important. -0- When she got to the hospital, she found not only RuBarb, but also quite a few of her classmates waiting for her, and the mood was not, to say the least, humorous. "Rue? Leo? Nige? What happened? What's going on?" Nigel Carrotte had been comforting the blubbering kitten as best he could, and spoke to Ruby. "Well, Ruby," he replied softly, "let me give you the condensed version. There was... a bit of an explosion in Sound Effects 101, and Miranda... took the brunt of it..." "What?!? When did this happen?" "Just before you left for your vacation. We're not sure how it happened, really. I guess Sam used too much explosive in the cartoon cannon, and, well, Miranda bein' the curious type and all, just got too close to it when it went off," Leo sighed morosely. "Sailed her clear across the classroom and slammed her into the wall, it did..." "I thought she'd know better than that," Ruby mused. "She's still... alive, isn't she?" "Don't know for sure," Nigel muttered. "The docs won't tell us a bloody thing..." At that instant, one of her doctors appeared. "Excuse me, which one of you is Rhubella?" Ruby meekly raised her hand. "Miranda's been asking for you..." "Can I go see her now?" "If you like..." -0- Ruby really hated hospitals, if the truth were known. Slowly, she made her way into Miranda's room. It was one of the most private rooms in the hospital, with all of the comforts of home (more or less), and the Looniversity was footing the bill. No matter how luxurious it was made out to be, however, she couldn't get over the fact that she still didn't care for the surroundings. Miranda was propped up in her bed, watching Looney Tunes on the TV with the sound turned off. Cautiously, Ruby approached her. "Er, Miranda?" No response. "Mink?" Nothing. It was as if Miranda was ignoring Ruby's existence entirely, which struck the rat as odd. "Half-pint?" she asked, waving her hands in front of Miranda to get her attention. Miranda turned to see who was blocking her field of vision, and brightened slightly upon seeing Ruby. "Oh, sorry Ruby, I didn't hear you come in," she noted wryly. "I _guess_," Ruby muttered under her breath. "I'm sorry, what was that? You'll have to speak up," Miranda said. "I said..." Then it hit her. "Oh... I... I didn't realize... geez, kid, I..." She started to catch herself, but Miranda read her thoughts. "Oh, you can say you're sorry if you want to, Ruby. It's not like I'll hear you, anyway..." "I'd really rather not..." "Suit yourself," Miranda shrugged. Ruby leaned in closer until she and Miranda were almost face to face. "Um... does it hurt?" "What, being deaf? Not really. Not physically, anyway." Her train of thought wandered back to the TV. "Look, Ruby, for all they know, it may just be temporary." "You think so?" "Maybe, but I'm not holding out hope at the moment... is anybody else out there?" "Well, RuBarb, Robin, Emily, Marcia, Babs, Buster, the Carrottes... the usual lot." "Oh, the 'B' list," Miranda grinned slightly before falling back into her atypical funk. "By 'the Carrottes'... including Leo?" "Yeah," Ruby nodded. "You wanna see them?" "No, not at the moment," Miranda sighed. "Look, tell them I'll be out soon as I can, okay?" "Oh, okay," Ruby replied hesitantly... -0- Rhubella spent the greater majority of the better part of that evening dividing her activities into crying in her pillow and crying on her mother's shoulder. "It's just not _fair!_" she protested. "At least if you get an anvil dropped on you, or you get cut to ribbons, you can always wander out of frame and come back like nothing ever happened! If you go blind or lose a limb, the animators can just draw you new eyes or arms and you go merrily on your way! But they can't do a thing about _this_!" "I know, dear, I know," Rhonda sighed. "We're not perfect. We're only drawings. Just pen and ink and paint..." "Yeah, but... but things like this aren't supposed to _happen_ to us!... are they?" "Well, Ruby, unfortunately, sometimes they do," Rhonda mused. "And like it or not, this isn't one of those things you can just shake off. It's called 'real life'... or as close to it as a self-aware toon can get, anyway." "Yeah? Well, it _stinks_!" "I agree. But railing at the world isn't going to change anything. Believe me, I know. The important thing right now is to be there for Miranda. Let her know you're still her friends, no matter what. That's all you can do for her right now." "It sure doesn't seem like enough..." "It'll have to be." Ruby hugged her mom tightly. "Mom, how did you ever get to be so smart?" Rhonda smiled. "By making a _lot_ of stupid mistakes." "Oh, as opposed to _brilliant_ ones?" "Something like that, yeah." Rhonda paused to collect her thoughts. "Tell me something... when you saw her in the hospital, did it occur to you to figure out how she was able to carry on a conversation with you if she couldn't hear you?" "No, not really..." Ruby stopped. "But now that you mention it... You think she knows something I don't?" "Trust me, darling, _everybody_ knows something you don't, _capice_?" "_Capice_," Ruby answered in sing-song fashion, before adding as an afterthought, "Hey, Mom, you're not Italian..." "Not as far as I know..." "Then _why_ do you keep saying '_capice_'?" "Oh, that?" Rhonda wiggled her eyebrows. "I just like the sound of the word, _capi..._ er, ya dig?" Rhubella laughed helplessly. "Yeah, I _dig_..." -0- A couple of days later, when Miranda was finally released, Ruby decided to pay a house call on her. Ringing the doorbell, she still had no idea just what she was going to say to her. Leaning lazily against the door, she was taken aback when it suddenly opened, landing her flat on her back on the living room rug, looking up at an attractive older mink with light brown hair and a pleasant figure who she guessed was Miranda's mom. "Oh, ouch, hi," Ruby said. "Oops!" grinned the mink, who helped Ruby up. "Sorry 'bout that! You must be Ruby. I'm Amanda..." "Miranda's mom?" "Yeah," she nodded pleasantly. She spoke in a light voice, with a slight catch in it. "Did Miranda know you were coming over?" "No, I thought I'd surprise her.. Say, I hope you'll forgive an impertinent question, but... you aren't any relation to Minerva, are you?" Amanda placed a paw to her lips and gazed up thoughtfully. "Um, Minerva? I get that all the time. No, no relation. I'm flattered," she laughed, "but, no. Not as far as _I_ know, at least!" "Oh. I always wondered about that... Anyway, is Miranda here?" "She's in her room, down the hall, first door on your right. I'll let her know you're here," she said, reaching for a little device in her pocket. Ruby glanced down the hall in the direction Amanda had indicated, and noticed a blinking green light emanating from Miranda's room. "Miranda thought this up," Amanda beamed. "Makes it easier to know when one of us is wanted for something by the other. She even had the doorbell hooked up like that. Did she tell you what else happened to her?" "'Else'? No, only that her hearing's shot," Ruby replied, panic slowly rising in her voice. "What else happened?" Her reply came with a tap on her shoulder. Ruby spun around... and couldn't believe her eyes. "Miranda? What happened to... why are you...?" The mink grinned. "You wanna know why I'm upright, huh?" "Yeah!" "Clean moral upbringing." Ruby winced at the mink's wordplay. At least Miranda's love of bad jokes was intact. "_Miranda_..." "Sorry, Ruby. Oh, Mom, this is Rhubella..." "We've already met, Miranda. Now what happened?" "Oh, that. Well, as I was starting to say, when I got slammed against the wall, I guess it did something to my spinal column. Somehow something just snapped into place, and here I am. Ta-da," she sang, as she did a little show- biz gesture. "And no, this isn't a spin-change!" "That's great!" Ruby yelled, hugging the mink enthusiastically. "Um... I wasn't interrupting anything, was I?" "No," Miranda sighed, her enthusiasm at finally being able to walk again being replaced with slight depression. "I was just boxing up all my CDs and tapes... seeing as, well, you know..." "Oh... I'm sorry... I didn't realize..." "No, that's okay," Miranda sniffed, wiping a small tear from her eyes. Recovering slightly, she said, "Hey, you want 'em? I'll never need 'em anymore, anyway..." "Well, I don't know..." "Oh, come on, I'd rather you have 'em than anyone else." "Well, if you insist," Ruby hesitated. "I insist," Miranda echoed. "And what you don't like, you can give to RuBarb... just a moment..." She tapped her mom on the arm and began making rapid hand signals, which Amanda returned. After about fifteen seconds of this, they stopped. "Okay, Ruby, let's go," Miranda smiled, leading the slowly comprehending rat by the arm. Once in her room, Ruby faced the mink. "Okay, level with me. How long have you been able to lip-read?" "Okay, you caught me" replied Miranda. "Years, actually. Matter of necessity. I kinda wish I didn't need to, you know, but, well," she shrugged, "you make the best of what you got." "So your mom's, um, er..." "She prefers the term 'deaf,' Ruby. Just because she can't _hear_ words doesn't mean she likes to mince them," Miranda smiled. "She's been deaf as long as I've known her. Probably longer. She taught me how to sign and lip-read when I was four... 'scuse me a minute," she added, shaking her head and banging her hand against her left ear. "Is something wrong?" Rhubella asked. "Naw, it's nothing, just this ringing in my ears." Ruby raised an eyebrow. "How long has _this_ been going on?" "Thank you, Paul Carrack," the mink replied. "Ever since the accident. Why? You think it means something?" "I don't know," Ruby answered. "I'm not an expert, and I don't play one on TV... look, I know you hate going back and forth to hospitals, but..." "Wait a minute." Miranda stopped Ruby in mid-thought. "You think this really _is_ only temporary?" "Could be, mink, could be..." "We-llllllll, if it is, then... gimme back my CDs!" Miranda grinned as she made a playful grab for the box on the floor. "No sense in my giving up Orchestral Manoeuvers In The Dark if I don't _have_ to..." "Party pooper," Ruby giggled as she and Miranda entered into a fake tug- of-war, and CDs spilled out all over the floor... -0- As Ruby, Rue, Leo, et. al., and Miranda sat in the waiting room of the Acme Hospital, a place that was starting to feel like familiar territory to them, Miranda drummed her hands nervously on her knees. "Think she's nervous?" Leo asked Ruby. "Dunno. Why don'tcha ask her?" "All right," he chuckled, tapping his favorite mink on her shoulder. Miranda stopped, and looked at him curiously. "Something the matter, gorgeous?" "Yes... no... I mean, I don't know..." she answered frantically. "Who was it that said the waiting is the hardest part?" "Tom Petty," answered Leo, reaching out to tickle her. "Stop that," she laughed. "No, it's fun," Leo leered. A whomp on the noggin from Amanda's purse convinced him otherwise. "Ow!! Meaning no offense, mum, but what 'ave you got that thing loaded with, bricks?" "Should I tell him?" Amanda asked her daughter. "Naw, let him guess!" "Okay. One moment..." Amanda signalled for a stagehand to come in from the left with a wheelbarrow, into which she dumped the contents of her purse, which eventually reached up to the ceiling. "Thank you," she smiled, as the stagehand wandered away. "I should've guessed," Leo muttered, still rubbing his head. The fun was interrupted by the appearance of Miranda's doctor. "Well, not to be unoriginal or anything," Miranda chirped, "but, eh, what's up, Doc?" "I really hate that phrase," the doctor muttered under his breath. "Well, Miranda, the bad news is that your left eardrum is almost permanently damaged. You'll probably have only 5% hearing in it from now on." "Oh," she replied, downcast. "Story of my life..." Then, looking up at the doctor again, she asked, "Is there any _good_ news?" "Yes, there is. The damage to your right ear was only temporary, and you should regain all of your hearing in that ear in another week or two. And if you like, we can have you fitted with a hearing aid for your left ear." "Oooooh, I don't know," she hesitated. "Can I talk it over with my mom first?" "Go right ahead." "Okay." The two minks exchanged rapid signing with each other before Miranda settled on her answer. "She said it's all right with her." As they left the hospital, Leo scratched his head. "Um, Miranda, d'ya think you could teach me how to do that?" "Sure, no problem..." "Hey, Mink," Ruby nudged her. "For saying it was all right with her, your mom sure moved around a lot. Kinda like a hula dancer on Acme Mega-Jolt Coffee! What did she 'say', really?" Amanda wiggled her eyebrows playfully. "I told her if she didn't, I'd shove it in there myself!" "I forgot she can read lips," Ruby sighed. As she and Miranda were about to part company, she added, "You know something, Miranda?" "What?" "Well, I know you been through a heck of a lot for one lifetime... and... well, there's something I've got to tell you..." "Yes?" "Well, it's just that... now that you're back on your feet again, Miranda..." "Yes?" Ruby paused slightly before answering. "You really _are_ short, you know that, shrimp boat?" "Ooooooooooooohhhhh..." Miranda growled, chasing Ruby around her roadster. "Come back here! So help me, I'll _mow_ ya down!" "You'll have to catch me, first!" Ruby yelled. RuBarb turned to Nigel and Leo and shrugged. "Looks like's nothing's changed." "Looks like..." they shrugged back. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Story (C)March 15, 1999 by Jerry D. Withers. Version 1.1 (Revised) (C) February 4, 2000 by same. All Rights Reserved. This is a work of fan fiction, and is not meant to be taken as canon fodder. The characters of "Miranda Mink," "RuBarb," "Rhonda Rat" and "Amanda Mink" were created by Jerry D. Withers (C)1996-1999. The characters of "Nigel Carrotte" and "Leo (Lionel) Carrotte" were created by Jennifer "Rottin Kid" Cleckley (C)1998-1999. All other characters (C)1999 Warner Bros. Animation/Amblin Entertainment. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~