"WHO'S MINDING THE MINE?" 

                              by LEE M. WITHERS 

                         (email:leewithers@tcfn.org) 

    (An Original Looney Tunes/Tiny Toon Adventures Fanfic...  more or less.) 

                                 CHAPTER ONE: 

                   LOOK! UP IN THE SKY! IT'S A...  CARROT??? 
 
    If you were to look up in the sky that August Saturday not too long 
ago, you would have been impressed with the beauty of an absolutely 
gorgeous, perfect cloudless sky--blue for as far as the eye could see. 
Nothing up there at all, in fact, save for ol' Sol, the occasional bird, 
and a lone airplane. One might not have even taken notice of the plane, 
were it not for its color: bright orange (the color of carrots, and a 
major piece of sporting equipment), with a bright green tail. Pictured 
on the tail was the silhouette of a rabbit's head centered in a group of 
concentric circles. This identified the plane as "Hare Force One", the 
private plane of Toondom's most famous rabbit, Bugs Bunny. 
     Bugs had always enjoyed piloting his own plane ever since he made 
"Falling Hare" (that Clampett cartoon about the Gremlin during WWII); 
somehow, Bugs had gotten the flying bug (no pun intended) after that, 
and it had yet to let him go. Of course, Warner Bros. wasn't too happy 
about Bugs's hobby, but you didn't tell your top animated star "No", so...  
     If you were ever to go looking for Bugs and absolutely, positively 
could not find him on (or below) the ground, then all you had to do was 
simply look up. Flying was therapeutic for him; in fact, next to a 
quiet romantic evening at home with his long-time "goilfriend" Honey 
Bunny, Bugs said that being "up dere" was the sanest place he could 
think of. No contract talks, no meetings with "da suits", no script 
conferences...  no Daffy...  none of the trappings of being a film legend 
could bother him when he was in the cockpit of his custom-built Cessna. 
He felt absolutely free in the air...  except for today. Something was 
bothering him, and not even the freedom of flight could cheer him up; 
a fact not lost on his co-pilot, who was never at a loss for words, and 
who lived his whole life by the simple motto, "WHY SHOUT WHEN I CAN 
YELL?"--Yosemite Sam. 
     "All right, ya rackin' frackin' varmint," Sam bellowed. "Ya been 
tight-lipped ever since we left Acme Airfield. What's eatin' at ya?" 
     "I'll let ya know when we land," Bugs said grimly. 
     "Wa'al, for the sake of our passengers, ya COULD try bein' a bit 
more hoss-spittable, ya long-eared galoot!" 
     Bugs was not smiling. He had not asked for the extra company on
this flight, and was clearly not happy that they had somehow gotten on 
board without being noticed. He sighed, looked over his shoulder at his 
two "uninvited guests", and with an intense scowl, said, "You two okay 
back dere?" 
     "We're...  just fine, Bugsy," Honey Bunny said nervously, an 
uncomfortable forced smile marring her otherwise pretty face. She turned 
to the smaller blue bunny strapped into the seat next to her. "Aren't 
we, Buster?" 
    "I hate flying, I hate flying, I hate flying... " he repeated 
forlornly, gripping the armrests for dear life. Honey felt it best not 
to ask Buster any more questions, and if at all possible, not to talk to 
Bugs until he'd cooled off. She really couldn't blame him for being 
ticked off at them; after all, it was Honey who had talked Buster into 
having a "look" at Bugs's plane (Buster had never seen it before), and 
it was while they were seated in the back that Bugs and Sam had somehow, 
suddenly, and without even looking in the back of the plane, picked that 
precise moment to file a revised flight plan to a place called Gower 
Gulch, and then took off before even noticing that they had company. In 
fact, they were halfway to their destination before Buster had made 
their presence known (by whining "I hate flying, I hate flying, I hate 
flying... " like a broken record). But Buster and Honey Bunny (no 
relation!) were there now, and Bugs was just going to have to deal with 
it as best he could. He continued to glower at Honey as if to say he'd 
deal with _her_ as soon as they landed. 
    "Oh, please don't look at me like that, Bugsy, I _said_ I was 
sorry," she pleaded, her lower lip quivering uncontrollably, tears 
starting to form in her ever-expressive deep dark chocolate brown eyes. 
That was all Bugs had to see. 
    "Ohhh...  all right, Duchess," he relented, addressing her by the 
most affectionate nickname he had for her. "Dry them there eyes. I can't 
stay mad at ya. Anyways, it's my fault, I guess I shoulda checked da 
plane again before we took off." 
    "Again?" Honey asked, regaining some of her composure. 
    "Yeah, I'd had da plane prepped for takeoff yesterday, but 
Looniversity stuff came up, and I didn't get back out to da airfield 
until...  uh...  ya feelin' okay, Buster?" Bugs finally asked, noticing 
the little blue (not to mention slightly green) bunny. 
    "I hate flying, I hate flying, I hate flying... " 
    Honey smiled. "He'll be all right, Bugs. Now, you were saying?" 
    "Well, it all concoins dis telegram...  did ya ever meet my Uncle Buck?" 
    At the mention of his name, Honey's face lit up like a Christmas 
tree. "Yes, when I was a teenager! Gosh, I haven't seen Buck in years! 
How is he?" 
    "In a whole heckofaheap o' _trouble_, dat's how he is. Which is why 
we're headin' ta Gower Gulch... " 
    At Bugs's remark, Buster recovered his wits only long enough to say, 
"Gower Gulch? I always thought Porky made that place up... " 
    "Naah, Buster, it's real enough, all right," Sam said. "An' speakin' 
of Gower Gulch, that's it dead ahead!" 
     Upon hearing that, Buster said, "IhateflyingIhateflyingIhateflying... " 
    "Eh, Sam," Bugs remarked, "ya coulda chosen _anudder_ phrase, ya know." 
    "Huh?...  oh...  ah _see_," Sam chuckled. "Sorry, Buster--'straight ahead'!" 
    "Bugsy," Honey asked, "you could've made this flight yourself. Why 
is Samuel here, no offense, Sam." 
    "None taken, Honey Gal, and tuh answer yer impertinent question, 
if there's anybody that knows this here ter-rain, it's ME!" 
    Bugs allowed himself the luxury of a brief smile. "Dat's right, 
Hon, if anybody knows his way around Gower Gulch, it's Sammy. Besides, 
he and Buck are old friends. It wouldn'ta been right to leave him outta dis." 
    Meanwhile, Sam was making contact with the Gower Gulch airport. 
"FXL-5 tuh CON-trol tower, FXL-5 tuh CON-trol, over?" 
    "This is Gower Gulch Airport to FXL-5, we read, over?" 
    "This here's 'Hare Force One', ya got any place that we can park 
this here mo-cheenie, over?... " 
    After receiving landing clearance, the bright orange plane with the 
bright green tail made a lighter-than-hare landing. Bugs cut the engine 
and turned to his passengers. 
    "Dere, dat wasn't so bad, now, was it?" he asked, wiggling his eyebrows. 
    "Perfect," Honey smiled. "You know, Bugsy, you really should take me 
flying more often... " Then she turned her attention to the bunny seated 
next to her. "Um...  Buster?" 
    Buster wasn't saying anything, however, as he was otherwise 
occupied, throwing up in the nearest available container. Honey simply 
rolled her ever-expressive deep dark chocolate brown eyes heavenward, 
sighed, and said, "Oh, well...  I suppose I can ALWAYS buy another purse." 

                                   000000

                                CHAPTER TWO: 

                       A HORSE IS A HORSE, OF COURSE, 
                        OF COURSE...  UNLESS IT'S A...  

    "Watch yer step, dere, ma'am, dey're making dese runways outta 
pretty hard stuff dese days, ya know... " Bugs joked as he helped Honey
out of the plane. She had to laugh at that. It made a very nice change 
from the less-than-jovial Bugs of a scant hour ago. Meanwhile, Sam was 
trying his best to pry a still-nauseous Buster Bunny from the death
grip he had on the armrests. 
    "Aww, come on, ya idjit rabbit, we've LANDED already!" Sam yelled. 
    At the sound of that miraculous word, an immediate change overcame 
Buster. "IhateflyingIhateflyingIhate...  'landed'?" He literally leaped 
out of the seat and into Sam's arms. "YES! PRAISE THE LIVING LORD!!!"
he shouted, kissing Sam full on the lips. "MmmmWAH!" 
    Yosemite Sam was less than impressed. "BLECHHH!" he shouted. Then
turning toward Honey, he asked, "Ya ever been kissed by a rabbit with 
'puke breath'?" 
    "Not within living memory, I haven't," she laughed, slipping a 
grateful Buster a package of Certs (R) from her blouse pocket. 
    "All right, we can laugh later," Bugs said. "We got serious 
business here." 
    "Yeah," Sam agreed, wiping his mouth with his shirt sleeve, then adding, 
"ya never DID tell me jus' whut kinda trouble Ol' Buck is in, varmint."
    "Okay, here's da deal. A couple o' weeks back, 'Unk' was doin' some 
prospectin', as he usually does... " 
    Buster interrupted his mentor. "Your uncle ever strike it rich?" 
    "Nah, not'in major...  at least, not until a couple o'weeks back, like 
I was sayin'. Dat's when he struck da mother of all lodes!" 
    "Buck finally hit paydirt?" Honey asked excitedly. 
    "DID he? Ya ever hear of da 'Lost Rabbit Mine', Duchess?" 
    Honey thought for a moment. "No...  I don't think so... " 
    "Wa'al, AH have," Sam declared, "but that there's just a campfire 
legend some of th' old-timers tell around these parts... " 
    "No it AIN'T!" Bugs replied, "'cause 'Unk's' da one dat finally 
FOUND it! One of da richest concentrated natural deposits of both silver 
and gold in da whole wild, wild West!
    "Silver AND gold?," Buster asked. "Wow! I'm sure glad Plucky isn't 
here to hear that!... " He and Honey laughed at his private dig at his 
green-feathered pal--until they noticed that Bugs wasn't laughing. 
    "It ain't no jokin' matter, Buster!" Bugs said seriously. "'Unk'
wired me dat a couple o' scoundrels somehow got wind of his strike and 
have been making trouble for him ever since!" 
    "Yuh mean...  claim jumpers?!?" Sam asked incredulously. "In 1996?" 
    "Aw, come on, Bugs, that sort of thing doesn't happen these days," 
Buster asserted. 
    "Wrong, squoit! It IS happenin', and da claim dat's bein' jumped 
is 'Unk's'!" Bugs then passed the telegram he'd mentioned around to the 
small group. Honey read it with more concern than the others; after all, 
she considered Buck practically family, just as Buck considered her the
daughter he'd never got around to having, had he ever bothered to get
married. Finally, she spoke, and when she did, Bugs could see there was
a question in her eyes. 
    "If I'm reading this right, Bugsy, this was sent to you yesterday
morning... " 
    "Dat's right, Hon, and I ain't hoid a woid from him or been able
to contact him since! He's in trouble, I just know it!" 
    "No wonder you stood me up last night," Honey mused. "But under 
the circumstances, I forgive you. So, what's our first move?" 
    Bugs didn't mince any words. "YOUR foist move is for you to grab
yer purse, take Buster, and da twos of youse check into a local motel
and wait for me... " 
    Honey raised a defiant eyebrow in Bugs's general direction. "Oh, no 
you _don't!_ I know Buster and I weren't invited, but we're here, and if
Buck's in trouble, then I want to come along, too. You might be able to
use the extra help, and besides...  Buster threw up on my money." 
    Buster gave an embarrased laugh. "Heh-heh...  you mean that WASN'T 
an airsick bag? I'm sorry... "
    "Ohhhh...  all right," Bugs griped, admitting defeat for the time 
being. "Maybe you two can be of help at dat." 
    "Yeah," Sam chipped in. "Ah'm sure Honey can cook up some grub 
come chow time, or at least wash the mess kits... " 
    At that chauvinistic remark, Honey's ears flattened out at the sides 
of her head like the rabbit version of airplane wings, and her whiskers 
stiffened with a wooden-like "sproing" sound effect. Her soft eyes 
narrowed with a harsh glare, and through clenched teeth she got in Sam's 
face until she was nose-to-nose with him. "WHO'S gonna cook and wash 
WHAT?" she asked slowly and deliberately.
    Sam gulped. There was something in Honey's tone of voice that told 
him he'd better amend that last statement. 
    "Uhh...  wa'al...  that is, er...  ah LIKES havin' dishpan hands! Oh, 
really ah DOES, Honey Gal!...  helps build a man's character, yessir...  
ooooOOOOOoooh!" 
    Honey smiled, kissing Sam on the cheek. "That's better," she said, 
while at the same time thinking, "Hey, I CAN bluff this guy!" 
    Buster was helpless with laughter. "You been taking lessons from 
Fifi?" he finally asked. 
    "Sorry, can't tell, matters of national security and stuff like that 
there," she grinned. 
    "All right, you two, break up da breakin' up," Bugs cautioned, 
although he was secretly pleased with the way Honey had handled Sam. 
"We got woik to do. Foist, we're gonna need some horses... " 
    "Bugs," Buster asked his mentor, "where are we going to get horses 
at an airport?" 
    "At da rental counter, where else?" 
    "Oh, right," Buster replied as if he'd just learned another not-very-useful 
bit of trivia on "Gyp-Parody!", "silly of me to have even asked." 

                                   000000

     As Bugs and crew made their way to the rental counter, Buster had 
another question. "I don't get it, Bugs. If we're in such a hurry, why 
don't we just rent a car?" 
     "Because, junior, da terrain out here ain't exactly 'vehicle 
friendly,' dat's why. An' besides, in a Western-type adventure, it's 
better with horses." 
     "Ah think ah saw that on a bumperty-sticker oncet," Sam mused. 
     Within minutes, the foursome had arrived at a small building with a 
Western motif, complete with adjacent corral and a fine selection of new 
and used horses of all kinds, all reasonably priced to move. 
     "A horse rental counter at an airport, who'd have thunk it?" Buster 
asked to no one in particular. 
     "Nice looking place, Bugsy. What did you say it was called?" Honey 
asked her beau. 
     Without the slightest hesitation, or the least bit of shame, Bugs 
replied, "'Get A Horse.'" 
     A wry smile appeared on Honey's face as she began singing, "Of 
course, of course... " 
    Bugs raised a gloved paw. "Honey, as much as I love your singin'...  
an' I _do_...  if you so much as start in wit' dat crummy 'Mr. Ed theme... " 
    Buster suddenly appeared hopeful. "Hey, maybe this is where taking 
Sam's 'Trick Riding" class will finally come in handy!" 
    "We didn't come all this way out heres just so you could show off, 
ya fur-bearin' pipsqueak!" Sam growled. 
    In no time at all, the foursome had their horses. Bugs had chosen 
for himself a majestic black stallion, while Sam had selected a white 
charger. Honey had taken an immediate liking to a beautiful Palomino 
mare with the name "Goldengirl", with a mane and tail the color of 
spun gold, while Bugs had saddled Buster with...  
    "A Shetland Pony?!?" Buster railed incredulously. "What kind of 
horse is THAT?" 
     "Okay, Randolph Scott," Bugs challenged. "Ya wanna try MY horse 
for size, hmmmm?" The black stallion snorted and stared the liitle blue 
bunny down fiercely. 
     Buster gulped and ran immediately to the pony's side, throwing 
his arms around the horse's neck. "Short is good," he said weakly, 
"that way I don't have that far to fall... " 
     Honey was busy giving her horse the once-over when Bugs asked, 
"Ya gonna go ridin' in DAT outfit?" It was true, Honey really wasn't 
dressed for the occasion, wearing her favorite form-fitting lavender 
dress (which, while sensible, also managed to highlight her figure 
beautifully), with her now-famous matching bow (or "hare ribbon", as 
she liked to call it) tied to the small tuft of white fur between her ears. 
     "Oh, thanks for reminding me," she said, and before the group's 
startled eyes, went into a spin-change worthy of Babs Bunny herself, 
finally emerging wearing a blue Western blouse with a polished stone 
bolo tie, matching blue denim jeans, and--where her "hare ribbon" had 
once been--a matching cowgirl hat. "Is this what you had in mind, Mr. 
Blister?" she asked, a sly smile on her face. 
     Bugs was momentarily speechless, but when he finally did find his 
voice, he asked, "Where in da heck did you loin to do DAT?...  oh, I 
get it!" he said suspiciously. "Babsie taught ya dat trick, right?" 
     "Wrong," Honey replied matter-of-factly. "It's a girl thing. You 
guys will NEVER get it." 
     "Ummm...  yeah," Bugs said, not sure if Honey was putting him on 
or not. As she began to place her foot in the stirrup, Bugs decided 
to be helpful. "Now, Honey, before ya get on a horse for da foist time... " 
     Bugs never got a chance to finish the sentence. Honey was already 
in the saddle, feet firmly placed in the stirrups, looking for all the 
world like she belonged up there. She leaned forward and whispered a 
command to Goldengirl, who nodded as though she understood, and the two 
of them began going through their paces in the "Test Ride" corral. Slow 
trotting stuff at first, but then Buster, Sam and Bugs watched 
spellbound, as Honey began running the mare at a breakneck pace, 
handling the horse with the aplomb of an expert horsewoman. The guys 
just stood there at the railing, transfixed, as Honey and Goldengirl 
moved as one, with the hare-ess pushing the Palomino to the limits 
with grace and ease, Goldengirl obeying every single one of Honey's 
gently spoken commands as if it were the natural thing to be doing. 
She brought the horse to a momentary stop at the far end of the corral, 
opposite from where Bugs, Buster and Sam stood. 
    She turned the horse in their direction, smiled, and said, "And 
_this_ is what we do for an encore!" She leaned forward and whispered 
simply in her horse's ear: 
                            "Jump." 
    The guys were still standing at the railing, mesmerized, then 
stunned, then terrified, as Honey and Goldengirl began charging in their 
direction. Before any of them had time to react, much less think about 
reacting, Honey and Goldengirl sailed effortlessly over their heads, 
coming to a stop just a few feet away from them. Turning the mare in 
their direction, Honey simply trotted up to them, reined the horse to 
a gentle stop, dismounted, and they both bowed to the guys. 
    "We also do weddings, bar mitzvahs, and rodeos," Honey smiled, to 
the applause and cheeering of Buster and Sam. Bugs, however, was still 
speechless, which was probably just as well. In the meantime, Honey was 
going over a mental checklist, giving herself a verbal assessment of 
the horse. 
    "Hmmm...  takes to the reins very well, doesn't tire easily, excellent 
verbal command response, rides smoothly...  I _like_ that in a horse!" 
Then turning to Bugs, she said, "Oh, by the way, in case the topic ever 
comes up for conversation, I grew up around horses before I ever met 
you, Bugsy." 
    Bugs regained his composure. "Oh, well, if you're gonna brag... " 
    Meanwhile, Sam was getting impatient. "Are you two just a-gonna 
stand there flappin' yer big teeth, or are we gonna head on out tuh 
Buck's place? Time's a-wastin'!" 
    "He's right, Bugs," Buster added. "The longer we stay here, the 
worse off your Uncle could be." 
    Bugs didn't have to consider that statement twice. "Right you are, 
kid," Bugs declared. "All right, everybody, what are we waitin' for? 
Mount up!... " 
    Bugs's order proved unneccesary, as Buster, Honey and Sam were 
already on their horses. They were just waiting for Bugs. 
    "Oh-kayyyy, so _dat's_ how dey wanna do dis, eh?" Bugs thought to 
himself. "Hey, Buster!" he shouted. "HERE'S somet'in' I'll bet ya 
didn't loin in Sam's 'Trick Ridin'' class!" With that, Bugs took a good 
running jump, and made a perfect dive over his horse, landing face first 
in the corral dirt. 
    "No...  Sam didn't teach me THAT move," Buster smirked, as Sam tried-- 
not too successfully--to keep from laughing out loud. 
    Bugs looked up from the ground below, into the loving--and very 
amused--gaze of Honey Bunny. "I, uh, _meant_ to do dat," he said 
nonchalantly. 
    "Liar," she smiled, helping him up. She knew darned well that she 
shouldn't do what she was about to, but she couldn't resist, especially 
since she had an audience. Clearing her throat, and speaking so that 
Buster and Sam were sure to hear, she looked Bugs right in the eyes and 
said, "Now, Bugsy, before you get on a horse for the first time... " 
    "Quiet, lady," he grumbled, getting in the saddle as Buster and Sam 
were still doubled over with laughter. 
    The foursome began the long ride to Buck's isolated desert cabin. 
Well, three of them did, anyway; Buster, however, was having trouble 
getting his Shetland Pony motivated. 
    "Of all the things to be saddled with, why did Bugs stick me with 
_you_?" Then Buster noticed the pony's nametag, tied to the saddlehorn. 
"'Cyclone'?" Buster asked with disbelief. "That's a laugh! You're 
certainly misnamed, pal. You couldn't break the sound barrier if I 
said 'giddyap'... " 
    At the sound of that one word, Cyclone suddenly reared back and 
took off like his name. Buster was literally flying, holding on to the 
reins for dear life--his--in a horizontal position. 
    "Me and my big yap," he sighed, as he first caught up with, and then 
passed Bugs, Sam, and Honey. "HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLPP!!!!" Buster yelled, 
as Honey, taking the initiative, rode after him. 
     "...  (Sigh)...  Quit showin' off, Buster," Bugs commented dryly. 
 


                                         CHAPTER THREE 

                                   "THE MAID'S DAY OFF" 

     Honey had made swift work of rescuing Buster and his runaway horse, 
and shortly they had rejoined Bugs and Sam. 
"What da heck happened?" Bugs asked sternly. 
    "Beats me," Buster shrugged. "It must have been something I said." 
Bugs, however, wasn't interested in hearing any excuses. They had a 
job to do, and there wasn't time for talk. The regrouped riders followed 
Bugs to where he remembered Buck's cabin was located. The ride was a 
swift one; considering what Bugs felt was at stake, it had to be. 
As the foursome came within view of the ramshackled old place, an 
uneasy feeling overcame Bugs. His whiskers began twitching back and 
forth in a rapid seesaw motion. 
"Something wrong?" Buster asked with concern. 
"I hope not," Bugs replied seriously. 
"Bugsy," Honey said, pointing to an Appaloosa in a nearby 
corral, "isn't that Buck's horse?" 
"Daisy Mae? Sure is," he replied as the group rode closer to the 
cabin. And the closer they got, the more they could see that something 
was definitely bothering Daisy. She was carrying on hysterically, 
trying to break down the fence around the corral. 
"Ah don't lahk the way that nag's acting," Sam muttered. 
"She probably isn't too crazy about _your_ films, either," Buster 
joked. Bugs, however, was not in a joking mood. 
"Somet'ing's wrong, or else she wouldn't be carryin' on like 
dat," he noted, then said sharply, "Honey! What are ya _doin'_? Get 
your cotton-pickin' tail BACK here!" 
But the pretty grey fembunny had already dismounted, and swiftly 
approached the nervous horse. Showing no fear at all, Honey began 
talking softly, and within minutes had managed to calm the hysterical 
animal. "Good girl," she said, stroking the horse's neck, "it's okay, 
everything will be fine... " 
Buster, Bugs and Sam were absolutely amazed, to say the least. Bugs, 
for one, didn't know just how the heck she did that, but he had to 
finally admit to himself that perhaps Honey Bunny _was_ going to be 
useful on this adventure after all, in a way that was beyond the narrow 
scope of what Sam had suggested earlier. "One t'ing's for sure," he 
thought to himself, "dat goil's coitanly got a way wit' horses!" 
Bugs and Buster slowly dismounted and approached the cabin door, to 
be joined seconds later by Sam and Honey. 
"That was some work, Honey Gal!" Sam said. "Ah'm impressed! An' I 
ain't impressed by nothin'!" 
"Thank you, Samuel," Honey smiled. 
Bugs, meanwhile, was busy thinking about something else. "Hmm... " 
Buster attempted to read his mentor's mind. "Let me guess. Buck 
would've been out here to see what all the commotion was about... " 
"... if somet'in' wasn't wrong? Ya read my mind, Buster." With a 
silent signal for the others to stand back, Bugs knocked on the cabin 
door, and was not happy to see it swing wide open on the first knock. 
"Uh-oh...  _dis_ is not good," he said. Buster and Sam exchanged worried 
looks, and then looked up to see Honey's whiskers do that same nervous 
rapid seesaw twitch that Bugs's had moments before. 
"I've got a bad feeling about this," Buster said hesitantly, as the 
group, not knowing quite what to expect, began to follow Bugs into the 
cabin, only to be stopped at the door. 
"Hang back," Bugs cautioned. "If dere's anyt'ing unkosher around 
here, I want you guys to be ready ta amscray a.s.a.p.!" Standing back at 
a respectful distance, the trio waited anxiously as Bugs entered the 
cabin alone. 


                              000000 
After satisfying himself that nobody was in the cabin that shouldn't 
be, Bugs called for the others to join him inside. They had a little 
trouble making the adjustment from broad daylight to the darkened cabin 
interior. 
Buster thought that a little humor might help ease the tension they 
were feeling. "Doesn't this guy ever pay his light bill?" he asked. 
Although his intentions were good, his timing was, for once, all wrong. 
Bugs was not the least bit pleased with Buster's attempt at humor, 
especially when it was at his 'Unk's' expense. 
He glared angrily at Buster. "For your information, squoit, Buck's 
place ain't wired for electric lights!" he yelled. The big grey bunny 
was getting furious. Buster just stood there, speechless. He had never 
seen Bugs this mad at him before, ever. 
Honey attempted to run interference on his behalf. "Now, Bugsy, 
calm down, please. Buster's not familiar with Buck... " 
Bugs turned angrily on Honey. "AND JUST WHAT'S _DAT_ SUPPOSED 
TA MEAN, 'LITTLE MISS GOODY-TWO-SHOES'???" he practically 
screamed in her face. Honey stood there, shaken, stunned, and not knowing how 
to react to this. By this time, Sam had found a kerosene lamp, and had just lit 
it when Buster let out a loud, low whistle. Big mistake. 
"Man, just _look_ at this place!... " Before Buster could say 
anything else, at that instant Bugs grabbed him by his sweater and 
pulled him up off the floor until they were face-to-face. 
"So help me, ya little pipsqueak, if you so much as say ANYTHING 
about dis bein' da maid's day off, I'll... " 
"BUGS!" Honey shouted angrily. That brought Bugs back to his senses. 
He took one look at the now totally terrified Buster, realized he was 
letting the situation overtake him, and suddenly felt very ashamed of 
himself. He gently set the still-shaking Buster down on the cabin floor. 
"I...  uh, that is...  I'm...  I'm sorry, Buster," Bugs said quietly. 
"I'm supposed ta have more self-control than dat...  I... " Clearly, the 
concept of apologizing was one that Bugs wasn't comfortable with, 
specially when he knew he was wrong. 
"No, Bugs, it was my fault. I started to act like Plucky. I was 
talking before thinking," Buster apologized. "It won't happen again... " 
"Wa'al," Sam interrupted, "that may be fine and dandy for you two, 
but ah think this here long-eared galoot owes someone else here an 
apo-logee." That was when Bugs heard the quiet sobbing of the fembunny 
who had seated herself at a nearby table, her head buried in her arms. 
Bugs felt like a heel, and rightly so. The last thing in the world he'd 
ever intended to do was to hurt Honey's feelings, even though he'd 
often done so unintentionally over the years. And yet, she forgave him 
each and every time. As he quietly made his way to her side, he wondered 
to himself just how much more of his nonsense she could take, and 
whether she could forgive him for his outlandish behavior just one more 
time. He really wouldn't blame her at all if she didn't. Once already 
today he'd brought her to the verge of tears; now, he had uncorked a 
small leak in, what for her, must have been one hell of a reservoir of 
pent-up emotions, which she had somehow managed to keep hidden 
from his view. 
    Of all the girls Bugs had ever known, Honey Bunny was the one with 
whom he'd had the longest-lasting relationship--almost 30 years, 
practically her whole life, and yet, even Bugs was at a loss to 
explain why they'd been together for so long. On the surface, it seemed 
the only thing they had in common was that they were rabbits, but even 
that didn't tell the whole story. They were opposites in many ways-- 
Honey had been college-educated, while Bugs had earned his "street 
smarts" degree at the school of hard knocks; she was, for the most part, 
a quiet girl, somewhat shy, sensible, reserved, cautious, not quite 
willing to take chances if she could possibly avoid them (the incident 
with Buck's horse notwithstanding)--"Dull as dishwater," as Plucky 
had once characterized her--while Bugs was anything but; she...
    "Oh, what's da use?" Bugs asked himself. "Why should I even try to 
explain dis goil to other folks if I can't even explain her to me?" 
Still, something always told Bugs deep down inside that people who 
didn't know Honey were reading her wrong. Besides, there had to be 
something between them for them to have stayed together nearly three 
decades. But the one thing that confused the heck out of Bugs, as far 
as she was concerned, was her emotions. He just couldn't get a handle on 
them. Most of the time, Honey wore her feelings on her sleeve for the 
whole world to see. Feelings of joy, happiness, and love and affection, 
her great motivators in life. But other times, she kept her negative 
emotions bottled up inside her--feelings of hurt, anger, self-doubt 
that she wasn't really worthy of Bugs's attention. She kept them 
bottled up to such an extent that she felt she might explode. Her 
feeelings along those lines were a private matter to her, and she felt 
that nobody else had a right to see them...  not even Bugs. 
    As Bugs approached her, he hated to think what would happen if 
someday, she finally did let it all out. And he hoped, for her sake, 
that he wouldn't be the cause of it. 
    "Uh, Hon... " he began, still uncomfortable with the concept of 
apologizing, "I'm...  well, I'm sorry I yelled at ya. You didn't desoive 
that...  an' I'm...  sorry about dat 'Little Miss Goody-Two-Shoes' crack. 
Dat was mean, and uncalled for...  you ain't no 'goody-two-shoes'... " 
    Honey raised her head just long enought to look at Bugs through 
bewildered eyes, with matching expression, and say, "WHAT?!?!" 
    Buster decided to come to his mentor's rescue. "I think what he 
meant is this whole Buck thing has him slightly on edge and if he says 
something out of character then you should just ignore it 'cause it 
really isn't him talking he's just worried about his Uncle Buck and he 
didn't mean to get in your face like he did and later on the two of you 
will look back on this as just one more pothole on the road of true love 
which never did run smooth to begin with so Babs keeps telling me but I 
don't believe everything that Babs tells me I think she gets these ideas
from Harriet but I could be wrong so why don't the two of you kiss and 
make up like you're supposed to so we can get this thing moving again 
because I don't know how much longer I can keep this up I don't know how 
in the world Sneezer does this please kiss and make up so I can breathe 
again huh?" Exhausted, Buster fell over backwards. 
    Bugs smiled. "Kid's got quite a set o' lungs on him, ain't he?" 
    Honey began smiling again, too. "You heard him, 'Long Ears.' Shut up 
and kiss me." 
    "Oh-kayyy, Bunny Chapin Carpenter, if dat's da way ya want it... " 
It was, and he did. 
    In the meantime, Sam had found an old bicycle tire pump and was 
trying to insert the rusty nozzle into Buster's mouth. 
    "Get that thing outta my puss!" Buster snapped. 
    "Ohhh, all right," Sam grumbled, tossing the thing over his 
shoulder. "See if ah ever helps YOU ag'in! Jus' you remember this, Mr. 
Buster Bunny--if somethin' happens tuh you and you drops dead, DON'T 
come a-cryin' to ME!" 
    Meanwhile, their composures regained, Bugs and Honey Bunny took 
their first real good look at the cabin interior. Bugs let out a loud, 
low whistle. 
    "Man, dis really DOES look like da maid's day off!" 
    "What do you think happened here, Bugsy?" 
    Bugs was trying to make sense of the mess around them. "I don't 
know, Honey," he finally sighed, "but whatever happened, it looks like 
Buck didn't give up without a fight, dat's for sure." 
    "Bugs... " 
    "Yeah, whatcha got, Buster?" 
    Buster swallowed hard. "I think it's confirmation of your last 
sentence," he said, handing Bugs a weather-beaten old cowboy hat. When 
Bugs saw it, his heart almost stopped. 
    "Bugs,"  Sam said hesitantly, "... ain't that... " 
    "Yeah," he replied quietly. "It's Buck's... " 
    That's when Honey noticed the dark red-turning-to-black stains 
around the crown and brim of the hat. She gasped uncontrollably.
"Bugs... " 
    "I know, Hon, I see it." 
    Buster remembered Bugs telling them about the twosome that had been 
making trouble for Buck. "What kind of jerks are we up against?" he asked. 
    Bugs looked down grimly at his protege. "Ya just asked and answered 
yer own question, kid." 
    "Well, shouldn't we call somebody? The sheriff, maybe?" 
    "An' just how do ya pre-pose we do DAT, Buster?" Bugs responded. 
"Da last time I hoid, Buck ain't got no phone... " 
    "Wa'al... " interrupted Sam, "... not a _workin'_ one, anyways," 
pointing to the remains of a shattered telephone. Honey gasped 
uncontrollably again. 
    "Oh, Bugsy... " She was on the verge of tears again. Bugs saw the 
dark red-turning-to-black stains on what was left of the phone, and 
held Honey in his arms. 
    "I know, Duchess," he said quietly. "I see it... " 


                                CHAPTER FOUR
                              
                              "GOOFBOYS, AHOY!" 

    "Okay, Bugs, _now_ what?" Buster asked as the grim foursome made 
their way out of the cabin. Bugs was trying to think. 
    "I don't know, kid. If we only had some way of contactin' da sheriff 
from here... " 
    Honey suddenly brightened. "Bugs! I've just remembered! I brought a 
cell phone with me!" 
    "Good goil, Honey! Where is it?" 
    "It's in my purse... " Her smile suddenly disappeared, and she brought 
a gloved paw to her forehead in dismay. "... Which is back in the plane... " 
    "An' covered with rabbit puke," Sam crudely added. All eyes turned 
towards Buster. 
    "Are we gonna start THAT up again?" he asked defensively. "I _said_ 
I was sorry... " 
    "ALL RIGHT, KNOCK IT OFF!" Bugs yelled. As soon as some semblance of
order was restored, Bugs cleared his throat and continued. "We can't be 
wastin' time like dis! Buck's disappeared, we ain't got no idea what 
happened here, we can't call da sher... " 
    Buster interrupted his mentor. "Bugs!" he yelled, pointing up."Look!" 
  "What in the world is THAT?" Honey gasped, looking in the direction 
Buster had indicated. That was when Bugs and Sam saw it, too, and they 
didn't know what to make of it either. "It" was large, "it" was loud, 
and "it" was headed their way. "It" looked for all the world like...  
a flying boat? 
    "I've hoid of airships before," Bugs said when he finally found his 
voice again, "but DIS is RIDICULOUS!" That's when Bugs and Honey's 
whiskers began twitching again, very rapidly. 
    "Everybody take cover!" Sam commanded. The Bunnies (no relation) 
didn't need to be told twice, as they took their horses and made for the 
cover of an immense nearby hedge that seemed to be there for just such 
a purpose. "Somebody hand me a horse," Sam ordered, "I got me an idee!" 
Buster quickly handed him the reins of the nearest horse he could find, 
and then dove back behind the safety of the hedge, while Sam stood out 
in the open, waiting for the strange craft to come into closer view. 
He didn't have all that long to wait. 
    Slowly but surely, the giant airship came closer. It was an 
odd-looking contraption, all right. It resembled an old houseboat that 
could have been constructed by the flunking students of Acme 
Looniversity's Shop Class. It seemed to be carelessly built, and creaked 
and groaned in such a way as to suggest that it might fall apart if it 
ever came in contact with solid ground, and yet it flew. Attatched to 
the cabin was an immense balloon, secured with several strong steel 
cables. The motor that powered the thing sounded like a rejected rebuilt 
Briggs & Stratton lawn mower engine, and two large, black, ugly exhaust 
pipes jutted from the rear of the ship, belching out large, black, ugly 
clouds of stuff that had absolutely no business being in the air.
    At the controls of this airborne monstrosity were two very unsavory 
looking characters. One was short, with slicked-back black hair and a 
pencil-thin mustache; the other was a large, burly, none-too-bright 
looking thug who looked like he might take umbrage to anybody that 
mentioned that to him by taking a tire iron upside their skulls. Sam 
could see them clearly now as they came closer. So could Bugs, Honey 
and Buster, safely hidden from view. Buster looked up, and noticed the 
two adult rabbits' whiskers were twitching wildly out of control. This, 
he guessed by now, meant trouble. 
    "Ahoy, there!" Sam bellowed. One thing about Yosemite Sam--he didn't 
need a bullhorn to be heard. 
    "Little but loud, that's our Sammy," Buster quipped. 
    "Shh!" Honey cautioned, as Sam repeated his ahoy. 
    "Yeah, whaddya want?" the shorter of the two goons said through a 
bullhorn. "Who are you?" 
    "Oh, ME? Why, ah'm just an old prospector out here a-tryin' mah 
luck, is all, jus' me and mah trusty old... " That was when Sam got a 
load of the horse Buster had handed him the reins to. He'd slipped Sam 
his stubborn little Shetland Pony. "Ah'm a-gonna FLUNK that little twerp 
come next see-mester," Sam muttered under his breath. 
    "Hey, that's some, ahem, 'horse' you got, fella!" the burly one laughed. 
    Sam was now getting pretty p-d o-d'd. "All right," he bellowed, "so 
we're 'Vertically Challenged'! Y'all got a PROBLEM with that?" 
    For good measure, the Shetland Pony gave them a Bronx cheer. 
    "No problem at all," the short one chuckled. "Now, friend, what'd 
you hail us for?" 
    "Wa'al, ah was lookin' for an old friend of mine who usedta live in 
these here parts. I thought maybe ya mighta seen him." 
    "Don't think so, friend. We're not from here."
    "Wa'al, ya never know," Sam said, taking a chance. "Guy's name is 
Buck Bunny." 
    The short one appeared thoughtful. "Hmmm... Bunny? Do you mean as 
in 'rabbit'? That kind of Bunny?" 
    "Yep, that's right!" Sam said. 
    "Kind of an old geezer, wears a leather-fringed jacket, a 
weatherbeaten old cowboy hat, has kind of a mustache and goatee, struck 
it rich a couple of weeks back when he found the 'Lost Rabbit Mine', 
and has a nephew that makes crummy cartoons in Burbank, CA?" the burly 
one asked. 
    "Yeah!" Sam replied excitedly. "That's th' critter! You seen him?" 
    The gruesome twosome reflected for only a second before both 
replying, "Nope... never heard of him!" And with that, and some sarcastic 
laughter, the two turned the huge, ugly airship around and headed out of 
sight, leaving only ugly trails of black smoke behind them. 
    When he was sure it was safe, Sam motioned for the Bunnies to come 
out of hiding. Bugs was not very happy. "Da noive of dat guy... sayin' 
my films are crummy! Why I oughta... " 
    "Bugs, o mentor of mine, I think you're missing something here," 
Buster pointed out. 
    "Yeah, I noticed it, too," Honey added. "For someone that claims 
they never heard of Buck, they sure described him to a 'T'. That's 
exactly how I remember him! And another thing. How did they know Buck 
struck it rich?" 
    "Do the homework, 'Teach'," Buster said to his favorite Print Media/ 
American History instructor. "In a small town like Gower Gulch, news 
like that is just bound to get around, right?" 
    "Wrong, kid!" Bugs said flatly. "The only person Buck told about the 
mine was ME! Read da telegram again!" Honey retrieved the telegram from 
her blouse pocket and handed it to Buster, who re-read it carefully. 
    "Oops! Sorry, Honey," he replied. 
    "'Sall right," she replied. "Sam, you got a real good look at those 
two. What's _your_ read on them?" 
    Sam didn't hesitate with his answer. "Wa'al, Honey Gal, ah'll tell 
ya, ah've seen some bad hombres in my time, but those two not only take 
the cake, but just might steal the whole danged bakery!"
    "Sounds bad to me," Honey reflected. 
    "That would sound bad to Hamton," Buster smirked. "So, what do you 
think, Bugs?... Bugs??... Bugs???" Buster looked around. "Hey! Where'd 
he go?" 
    Sam and Honey suddenly noticed as well. Buster was right--Bugs 
had vanished! 


                                CHAPTER FIVE
                                
                  "IT'S WHAT'S ON THE BACK THAT COUNTS!" 

    Honey began to panic. "Bugs!" she shouted. "Where are you?" 
    "Right here, Baby Doll," Bugs replied from inside the cabin. Honey 
and Buster let out sighs of relief, while Sam muttered something 
alluding to his long-held suspicions that Bugs's parents had never 
been married. 
    "Don't _ever_ do anything like that to me again, Bugsy!" Honey 
said with a hint of anger in her voice, as the threesome rejoined Bugs 
inside Buck's cabin. 
    Bugs didn't even look up. He looked like he was concentrating on 
something important. "I'm sorry, Honey, didn't mean ta scare ya, but I 
was lookin' for somet'in' in dis mess." 
    "Did you find it?" Buster asked. 
    "I _t'ink_ so," Bugs replied, laying a sheet of paper on the table 
in front of him. He beckoned to Sam and pointed to the paper. "Take a 
look at dis, Sammy. Remind ya of anyone?" 
    Yosemite Sam took a good hard look at the "Wanted" poster in front 
of him, and didn't wait to answer. "Yep, that's them two honyocks, all 
right. But, how'd yuh... " 
    Bugs smiled, albeit grimly. "How'd I know dis was in here? I didn't.
I was just playin' a hunch." 
    "A 'rabbit hunch'?" Buster punned.
    "Very funny, Buster. Save dat kinda stuff for 'Smart Remarks' 
class," Bugs responded. "I just figured Buck might have somet'in' wit' 
dese characters' pusses on 'em, although how he knew dey'd be on a 
'Wanted" poster, I ain't figured out yet." He held the poster up and 
looked at it disdainfully. "Hmmm... ugly examples of so-called people, 
if dat's whatcha wanna call 'em... " 
    "Hey, Bugs!" Buster exclaimed excitedly. "Look!" 
    "Look? At _what_?" 
    "At the flipside," Buster suggested, pointing to the poster. Bugs 
turned the poster over. 
    "What da... well, I'll be... " Bugs stared in amazement. To Honey and 
Sam, he said, "You two see what our little blue pal seen?" Bugs' grammar 
was atrocious, but what else was new? Honey and Sam looked at the 
drawing Buster had pointed out to Bugs. It was a crude pencil sketch, to 
be sure, but recognized immediately by all in the cabin: a boat with a 
balloon tied to it, with large exhaust pipes in the back. That clinched 
it, as far as they were concerned. Bugs folded the poster up and handed 
it to Honey, who stuffed it in her blouse. 
    "Well, what are we waiting for?" Buster asked impatiently. 
    "Da kid's right!" Bugs said emphatically"We've got a _boat_ to catch!" 
    With that, they made a mad dash out of the cabin and quickly 
mounted their horses. "You remember which way dey went, Sam?" 
    "Yep," he bellowed, pointing towards the east. "They went thatta way!" 
    "You've been waiting _years_ to say that, haven't you, Samuel?" 
Honey asked, another sly smile on her pretty face. As the foursome 
gave their horses the commands to take off, three rode east. Buster, 
however, was still having his problems with Cyclone. 
    "I'd have made better time on a _skateboard_!" he finally 
complained. Staring disgustedly at the stubborn Shetland Pony, he 
griped, "You're impossible, you know that? Why can't you just giddyap 
or... " Too late, Buster realized that that was how he'd managed to get 
that horse to move in the first place. Cyclone took off across the 
desert sands like Craig Breedlove, with Buster still holding on to the
reins for dear life--his--and still flying in a horizontal pattern. 
    "When will I learn?" Buster asked helplessly, as they first caught 
up with, then overtook, and finally flew past Bugs, Sam and Honey. 
    "Oh, Buster, not _again_!" Honey sighed, and took off once more 
to rescue him. 
    "Quit showin' off, ya rackin' frackin' little twit!" Sam grumbled. 
                                CHAPTER SIX 

                          "EVER WONDER WHY RABBITS 
                               HAVE WHISKERS?" 

    Once Honey had rescued Buster again and they rejoined Bugs and 
Sam, the foursome took off once more in pursuit of the strange aircraft. 
Although valuable time seemed to have been lost while Bugs and Sam 
waited for Honey to catch up with Buster and his spirited pony, it was 
only a matter of minutes until...  
    "Bugsy!" Honey shouted, pointing skyward to some slowly dissipating
clouds of ugly black smoke. 
    "Good eyes, Honey!" Bugs said. 
    She smiled demurely. "Why, thank you. I've been told the rest of me 
isn't bad, either... " 
    "Aw, cut out the _smut_, cain't ya?" bellowed Sam. 
    Buster had somehow had the foresight to bring along his Bunny Scouts 
compass. A quick check of the path the smoke was coming from against the 
compass told Buster the ship was still traveling eastward. He relayed 
this information to Bugs, who nodded silently; and without another word, 
the Looney riders rode on. Bugs had been right about one thing--the 
terrain they were on was definitely not "vehicle friendly". In fact, it 
seemed for stretches at a time to not even be "horse and rider friendly." 
    "Maybe we should've taken your plane?" Buster asked Bugs. 
    "What, an' have you gettin' sick again? Nothin' doin', pal!" Bugs 
shot back. "Besides, dem joiks'd notice a plane tailin' em. Since, from 
what I could see of dat t'ing, dey've both gotta be up front ta control 
it, they won't be looking down here to see if anybody's followin' 'em 
on da ground! As far as dey're concoined, dey t'ink dey're gettin' away 
wit' somet'in'." 
    "Oh, well, if you're gonna use _logic_... " Buster joked. 
    "Speakin' of them two yay-hoos," Sam interrupted, "feast yer rabbit 
squinties upwards!" The bunnies did. 
    "Good woik, Sammy!" Bugs exclaimed. The craft was now clearly in 
sight, still traveling eastward. "Okay, folks," Bugs commanded, "slow 
down. We don't wanna have to all-of-a-sudden-like ride into their 
field o' vision!" 
    The others all nodded in silent understanding. The last thing in the 
world they needed was was those two slimeballs to see them; after all, 
they'd already made Sam's acquaintance. Seeing him again might make 
them suspicious. 
    "Two goofboys, coming in for a landing!" Buster alerted them. His 
observation was right on the mark, sort of--the airship was indeed 
descending near a small cabin. Instead of touching down, however, the 
craft came to within 2 1/2 feet of the ground. The group heard the giant 
airship creak and groan loudly, as the burly one carefully lowered a 
heavy anchor over the side. Gingerly climbing down a rope ladder, the 
duo made their way hurriedly into the cabin without even thinking to see 
if they'd been seen (You see?). Bugs was right again--they were so sure 
that they were getting away with something that they weren't being 
particularly cautious. At that moment, both Bugs and Honey's eyes 
narrowed, and their whiskers began doing that twitching thing. 
    "Man, I wish _I_ had whiskers to do that with!" said Buster. 
    "Sorry, kid," said Bugs. "Some rabbits got 'em, and some don't. And 
you _don't_! Besides, we ain't doin' dis for da visual effect!" 
     "That's right, Buster," Honey said seriously. "This is one way we 
sense danger. It's nothing to joke about." 
     Buster felt embarrased. "Sorry," he said, then added, "I wonder 
what those two are doing in there... " 
     "Dere's only one way to find out, kid," said Bugs. 
     "You mean... ?" Buster looked at his hero with great expectations. 
     "Exactly!" Bugs declared. "Sam, come wit' me... " 
     "SAM?!?!" Buster asked incredulously, and a little too loudly. 
     "SHHH!" Honey cautioned. "We don't want them to know we're here... " 
As if to prove her point, the cabin door swung open, and the two 
scoundrels stuck their heads through the doorway to see what had made 
that noise. All they could see, however, was the vast desert around 
them, a few tumbleweeds here and there, the occasional cactus, and a 
large hedge. Shrugging their shoulders and satisfied that they were just 
hearing things, they returned inside the cabin and shut the door. 
Seconds later, 3 rabbit heads, one little but loud guy with a mask and 
an enormous mustache, and 4 horses' heads popped out from the hedge. 
    "Boy, these things grow in the darndest places!" Buster whispered. 
Bugs, however, had more important things on his mind than the local flora. 
    "Sam, you t'ink you can get on dat t'ing and perform a little 
sab-oh-tah-gee?" 
    A wicked smile appeared on the face of the original firey redhead. 
    "Heh-heh-heh... _CAN_ I? Just gimme a couple o' minutes, varmint." 
    "But what will _you_ be doing?" Honey asked Bugs. 
    "Using dese big ears of mine for dere intended poipose, dat's 
what," he replied. 
    "And what are _we_ gonna be doing?" asked Buster. 
     "You an' Honey can help by stayin' outta sight, and tryin' ta keep 
da horses quiet. Dey're beginnin' to act up a little," Bugs replied 
sternly. Buster was about to raise his voice again, disappointed that 
he wasn't going to be in on the action, but one look from Bugs told him 
he'd better not. With that, Bugs made his way cautiously to the cabin. 
    "Shhh!" Honey whispered. 
    "The horses are quiet, Honey," said Buster. 
    "I wasn't 'sshh'-ing _them_," she whispered. From their hiding 
place, they saw Sam scale the airship's rope ladder slowly, not taking
any chances of doing anything that might make the craft make its 
noticeable noise. Meanwhile, Bugs had arrived at his destination, and 
silently placed his ears against the cabin door. This is what he heard: 
    "So, you think we were followed?" 
    "Are you kidding? By who?" 
    "I don't know... I do know that I didn't buy that little loudmouthed 
guy with the mask's story about bein' a prospector. Who goes prospecting 
with a Shetland Pony, for crying out loud?" 
    "Yeah, that sure sounds suspicious, all right... " 
    "Hmph!" Bugs thought. "Talk about da pot callin' da kettle black!" 
He then returned to the task at hand, glancing only briefly to see Sam 
finally make it on board the airship. He only hoped Sam had enough time 
to do some real damage. 
    In the meantime, the horses' restlessness was increasing. They 
sensed that something was up, in spite of Honey's best efforts to quiet 
them. It was at that point that Buster, who had had limited experience 
with horses to begin with, decided to help by talking to them. Big mistake. 
    "Shh, quiet, _please_," he pleaded, panic clearly in his voice. 
That only succeeded in making the horses even more nervous. Honey tried 
to calm them down, but the nervous Buster's presence was not helping. 
In frustration, he asked, "I thought you were supposed to be good with 
horses! Can't you shut these nags up?" 
    "Not with _you_ around!" Honey snapped in a desperate whisper. 
    "Well, EX-CUUUUUUUUUSE ME!" Buster snapped back loudly. That did 
it. The Shetland Pony broke the sound barrier with a one-size-fits-all whinny. 
    "Oh, NO!" Honey gasped. "Buster... " She turned her angry gaze from 
Buster to the cabin, and saw an even angrier Bugs motioning her to 
keep the horses quiet. Too late. The two scuzbuckets had heard the 
noise, and were making their way to the door. Bugs was already 
hot-footing it to the airship. 
    "Sam!" he whispered loudly. 
    "Whatcha want, an' where the heck ya goin', varmint?" 
    "Did ya 'fix' dat t'ing yet?" 
    "Ain't had a chance. Somethin' go wrong?" 
    "Ya gotta ask?" Bugs was angry as angry could get. "Get offa dat 
t'ing before... " 
    Before Bugs had a chance to finish, the cabin door flew open and 
the two scoundrels emerged, looking for the horse they were sure they'd 
heard. But as before, there was nothing in sight except the vast desert, 
a few random tumbleweeds here and there, the occasional cactus... and 
a large hedge. Eyeing the hedge suspiciously, the burly one began making 
his way towards it, reaching inside his jacket...  
    "Never mind that, we ain't got time!" the short one said. "We've 
gotta get back to our 'guest'!" With that, they both quickly made their 
way up and in the airship, hauled up the rope ladder and the anchor, 
ran into the cabin and started the engine. With a mighty effort, the 
ship slowly began to rise, creaking and groaning with the movement, and 
then turning South, disappeared slowly. 
    When they were sure that they wouldn't be seen, Buster, Sam and 
Honey emerged from the hedge. 
    "Whew! That was close," Buster sighed with relief. 
    "No thanks to _YOU_!" Honey shouted angrily. Buster was about to get 
a front-row seat at a rare display of pyrotechnic temper... Honey style. 
"What in the world is wrong with you, anyway? You've been behaving like 
a jerk most of the day! What happened, did you miss a date with Babs and 
this is your way of getting back at us? What in the heck were you 
_thinking_ of, Buster?? You couldn't even get that crummy little 
Shetland Pony started, what made you think you could keep him quiet???" 
There was no stopping her. She was absolutlely livid, and taking her 
frustrations out on the nearest available target... which happened to be 
Buster. 
    "But... I was just trying to help," he answered nervously. 
    "'HELP'??" she screamed. "You call what you were doing 'helping'?? 
You nearly got us all killed! You want to 'help' in the future, Buster? 
DON'T 'HELP', THAT'S HOW YOU CAN 'HELP'!!!" After Honey had 
screamed what she had to scream, she continued to stare the frightened blue 
bunny down for several more minutes without saying one word more. An 
uneasy silence surrounded them. "Oh, _sure_," Honey said. "NOW it's quiet!"
    A few more minutes passed before Buster finally attempted to speak 
to Honey again. It took him that long to finally find his voice... and 
whatever was left of his nerve. "Are... are you... mad at me, Honey?" 
    Flushed with anger, Honey finally sighed, "No, Buster, not mad. I'm 
just... disappointed in you, that's all." Buster's ears drooped, and he 
slowly turned away from her, looking for a faraway rock to go sit on. 
    "Maybe they have rocks in Siberia," he thought sadly to himself. 
    Sam was puzzled, not having been there when the "horse incident" 
occured. "Uhhh... " he started haltingly, not quite sure that he wanted 
to be on the receiving end of what Honey had just given Buster, 
"... somethin' happen between you two that I don't knows about?" 
    "I'd... rather not talk about it, Samuel," Honey said quietly after a 
slight pause, already regretting going ballistic on Buster. "Besides, 
I'm sure that Bugs will have _plenty_ to say to the both of us... " 
That's when she looked around. "Speaking of same, Sam, where is he?" 
And that was when it finally occured to Sam that Bugs hadn't joined them 
in the hedge. 
    "Wh... why... ah don't rightly know, Honey Gal. I coulda swore... " 
    "From the look on his face when I saw him last, so could he," she 
sighed. "He's got to be around somewhere... " Then she caught sight of 
Buster in her peripheral vision. He was sitting alone on a large rock, 
looking lost, forlorn, as though he didn't have a friend left in the 
whole world, and had just lost the newest one he thought he'd made. 
    A tear started to make its way down Honey's face. Sam noticed this 
as well. 
    "You go talk to him, gal," Sam said quietly. "I'll... I'll go look 
for that long-eared whipper-snapper." As Sam began looking for Bugs, 
Honey began looking inside her heart for what she hoped would be the 
right words to say, as she began walking in Buster's direction.

                               CHAPTER SEVEN: 

                    TRUTH ON THE ROCKS... STRAIGHT UP 

    Buster Bunny looked like the loneliest rabbit in the world. He was 
still seated on that large rock in the middle of the desert, cursing 
himself for having blown it, and unaware that he was about to have 
company, in the form of a pretty grey fembunny nicknamed "Honey". 
    "How could I have been so DUMB?" he asked out loud to nobody but 
himself. "Why didn't I just keep my big mouth shut when I had the 
chance? Why didn't I let Honey handle the horses by herself? I shoulda 
just stayed home... " 
    Honey couldn't take any more. Taking a deep breath, she said, 
"Buster?" He didn't even react. Speaking softly, she tried once more. 
"Buster? We need to talk... " 
    He sighed, tears rolling down his face. "Go ahead, Honey, lay it on 
me. I blew it! I screwed up! I turned into Plucky Duck! Why don't they 
just glue green feathers on me and get Joe Alaskey to do my voice? I'm 
worthless... " 
    It hurt Honey tremendously to see Buster, the Acme Loo King (Prince, 
maybe?) of self-confidence, suddenly lose faith in his own abilities, 
not to mention doubt his own worth. Losing faith in yourself was one 
thing, as Honey herself knew only all too well, having experienced that 
period of teen angst when she was Buster's age. But to compare yourself 
to Plucky? She let a few tears escape from her darker-than-dark brown 
eyes, and seated herself next to Buster. Putting an arm around him, she 
spoke softly, "Look, Buster, everybody makes mistakes... " 
    "Yeah... (sniff)... but I coulda been a better help to you if I'd just 
let you take charge of the horses. You were right, I was only in the 
way... (sniff)... " 
    "No, I _wasn't_ right, Buster," she replied. "I had no right to say 
those things to you, and besides, those horses were beginning to become 
a bit too much for both of us to handle, let alone yours truly." 
    Buster looked up at her with a puzzled expression on his face. 
"But... (sniff)... but you have a way with horses... I've seen it... " 
    Honey smiled slightly. "I'll let you in on a little secret, Buster. 
While it's true that I do seem to have this so-called ability to make 
horses do anything I want them to, I can only do it one horse at a time. 
Any more than that, like two or more, and I'm literally up you know 
what's creek without the proverbial paddle. Trust me, Buster, I may be 
good with horses, but I'm not THAT good." 
    Buster was still not feeling very confident. "But... I let you 
down... and what's worse, I'm sure I let Bugs down... " 
    "Oh, don't worry about Bugsy. After knowing him for as long as I 
have, I think I can handle him. At least, I _hope_ so." She smiled, 
and pulled Buster close to her. "You know, I see a lot of Bugs in you." 
    "Honey, you don't even know the _half_ of it," Buster thought to 
himself, wondering at that point whether or not to let her in on the 
best-kept secret in all of Acme Acres. He finally decided against it. 
Now was not the time to tell her about his true parentage. She trusted 
Bugs completely; she didn't need to know about his past indiscretion. 
Struggling to regain his composure, he sighed, "Bugs woulda succeeded 
in keeping those horses quiet. He can do anything... " 
     "Maybe yes, maybe no. I don't know," Honey sighed. "But, would you 
like some free advice that's actually worth something?" 
     "Yes?" 
     "Well, maybe I'm not saying this the right way, but take it from 
one who knows. Don't try to be Bugs Bunny." Buster looked at her with 
more than a few questions in his eyes. She continued. "You see, I've 
known Bugs a lot longer than you have. I've seen him at his best, but 
I've also seen him at his worst. And I'm speaking from experience here. 
I think I'm the only living toon he's ever allowed close enought to see 
all the other sides of him." 
    "But... but what about... well, you know... Mrs. Bugs?" 
    Honey smiled. "Well, I'm sure when she was living, she saw the same 
things. But you have to remember, she's been gone for a long, long time. 
I'm not talking about then, I'm talking about now. Trust me, there's 
only one Bugs Bunny." 
    Buster was puzzled. "Is he really that bad of a role model?" If 
anybody would know, it would be her. 
    Honey sighed. "No, not really. In fact, when you come right down to 
it, I can't think of anyone better to try to be like, as long as you 
don't try to be exactly like him. Like I said, I see a lot of him in 
you. You're both fun-loving, you both stand up for what's right when 
the need arises, and you're both show-offs. But I also see a sensitive 
side in you, Buster, that isn't always there in Bugsy. If I had to make 
a guess, I'd say you more than likely get that from your mother, which 
reminds me... when am I ever going to meet them?" 
    Honey's question almost caught Buster completely off-guard, but he 
recovered quickly. "Well, maybe you will someday," he lied, "they do 
work odd hours, you know." 
    "Oh, yes, I do remember Bugsy telling me something about that," 
she nodded. Buster hated lying to Honey, but she seemed to accept his 
explanation. "Maybe, when the time is right, I can finally level with 
her," he thought. Honey sighed again. There was always something musical 
in Honey's sighs. 
    "Anyway, Buster," she continued, "forget about letting Bugs down; 
and for goodness' sake, please don't worry about letting _me_ down. I'm 
not important enough to fret over, not really. I... I know we haven't 
really known each other that long, Buster, and... well, I said some 
pretty mean things to you. There was absolutely no call for it, and 
I'm sorry. Hurting someone is not what I do, at least, I try very hard not 
to. But, well, sometimes I'm afraid I let my temper get the better of me." 
    Even though he'd been on the receiving end of a rare Honey Bunny 
tirade just a few moments ago, for which Buster sensed she was really 
sorry, he still seemed...  
    "Surprised? That meek, quiet, shy, cautious, sensible little old 
Mary Margaret McPherson, aka 'Honey Bunny', actually has an honest-to- 
goodness temper? Well, don't be... (sigh)... I'm not proud of it, by any 
means. Most of the time, I can control it, but other times... well... " 
She took a deep breath. "Other times, when someone gets me mad enough, 
I have been known to come up with new twists on the English language 
that would make Fowlmouth blush with shame."
    Buster laughed at that. And that made Honey happy. 
    "There, doesn't that feel better? Hmm?" 
    "Yeah, I guess so," Buster agreed. "But... " 
    "No 'buts', Buster. I over-reacted. You really have nothing to be 
ashamed of, or hanging your ears down over. All right, so the horses got 
spooked. So what? Hey, stuff happens. Horses are very intuitive animals, 
even more so than us rabbits. They can sense when something goes wrong 
even before we can. So, don't worry about it. It's over, it's done with, 
why don't we just forget about it, pick up our pride, and move on to the 
next level, okay?" She hugged Buster gently. "I really am sorry for all 
the garbage I dumped on you. I know you were just trying to help, and I 
do appreciate that. You were just trying to do your best, and in the 
end, that's all anybunny could ask for... that you _tried_. I know I 
didn't show it at the time, but I do respect that you tried. You're 
young, you make mistakes, you learn from them. Nobody's perfect, not 
even me. It's all part of that ongoing class that never ends." 
    "What class is this?" Buster wanted to know. 
    Honey smiled again. "The one we all have to attend. The one called 
'Life'. And do you know what the great thing about that is?" 
    "No," said Buster. "You tell me." 
    "Glad to. The great thing about 'Life' is, every day is a brand-new 
learning experience. And in this class, age doesn't matter. Look at me. 
I'm almost 30, and I'm still learning something every day I'm alive. 
Like, today, for example." 
    "What did you learn today, Honey?" 
    "That you shouldn't get 'short' with your friends, or you might not 
have them for 'long'." She looked into Buster's eyes. "Friends?" 
    Buster grinned. "Friends." They hugged, and Honey smiled her 
warmest smile. 
    "You know something?" she asked. "Babs is one lucky girl." 
    "Of _course_ she is," Buster replied cheerfully. "She's got _me_!" 
    Honey looked around the base of the rock they were sitting on in 
all directions. "Hmmm... now where _did_ I put those green feathers and 
Wacky Glue?" 
    Buster was taken aback momentarily, until he saw Honey burst out 
laughing. Having nothing else to do at the moment, he joined her. 
    "There," Honey said, giving him one more hug, "are you ready to 
rejoin the party?" 
    "Yeah, I think so, Honey. And thanks." 
    "No charge," she smiled, as they hopped off the rock. Then, as an 
afterthought, the pretty grey hare in the blue denim outfit turned 
towards Buster. "Oh, by the way... " 
    "Yeah?" 
    "'Shoulda, woulda, and coulda' have done more to mess with people's 
heads than Groucho, Chico and Harpo combined." She smiled and gave him a 
wink before heading back to Sam and the horses. 
    Buster laughed. He was finally beginning to see why Bugs liked her. 
"She's a niiiiice lady," he chuckled. "I wonder if Bugs really 
appreciates her... " 
    When he rejoined Honey and Sam, his smile disappeared. Honey had a 
very worried expression on her face. "But, Sam," she cried, "he just 
_can't_ have vanished! Are you _sure_ he's not in the cabin?" 
    "Yeah, ah'm sure!" Sam yelled. "He just ain't a-nowheres to be 
found nowheres!" 
    "Who's this you're... say, has anybody seen Bugs lately?" asked 
Buster. 
    "You've just asked and answered your own question," Honey told him. 
"I just can't believe he'd up and leave us like this, not Bugs... " All 
of a sudden, Honey's whiskers began doing that twitching thing again. 
    "Uh-oh," Buster said. Then, he looked up as heard a familiar, 
ominous sound, and his eyes grew wide with fear. "Everybody hide!" he
shouted. Immediately, they all dove back inside the large hedge just 
in time to avoid being seen by the two scoundrels in that odd-looking 
airship, as they made a lazy pass over their hideout. The short one 
reached into his jacket, pulled out a small black object with several 
colored buttons on it, pressed one, and watched with smug self-satisfaction
as the shack exploded, leaving not a trace of it behind. From their safe
vantage point in the airship, the two full goose bozos smiled their most
wicked smiles, content that they'd left nothing behind to link them to
anything, if it came down to that. 
    Meanwhile, from _their_ safe vantage point, Buster, Honey and Sam 
sat crouched inside the hedge. If they'd had any doubts about what 
kind of creeps they were up against, they disappeared along with the 
shack. Buster had managed to locate a pair of binoculars in one of 
Bugs's saddle bags, and was now focusing his attention on the flying boat. 
    "Man, just look at that thing," he whispered. "That looks like a 
bad Acme Loo Shop project!" He passed the binoculars to Sam, who added 
his two cents' worth. 
    "Yeah, ah noticed that, too. That there thing don't even look 
seaworthy, much less airworthy!" 
    "Let me see, Sam," Honey said, as he passed the binoculars to her. 
"I'd like to get a real good look at this thing before it gets out 
of... " Then she gasped, and her heart lept to her throat. "Ohmygo...  
WHAT does he think he's DOING up there?" 
    "Who?" asked Buster. Honey passed the binoculars back to him without 
saying another word. She was shocked speechless. One look through the 
binoculars at the rear of the departing airship told Buster why. There, 
hanging precariously by his gloved paws for dear life, feet waving 
helplessly in the air, several hundred--and then, as the craft gained 
altitude, several _thousand_--feet in the air, was none other than...  
    "Bugs!" gasped Buster. 
    Immediately, they mounted their horses. Sam and Honey took off 
immediately after the strange craft, with Bugs's black stallion 
instinctively following. Buster, however, was _still_ trying to get the
lousy Shetland Pony in first gear.
    "Oh, come on, don't DO this to me! I can't be sitting here while 
they're riding off into the sunset, and it isn't even lunchtime yet! 
Come on, Cyclone, MOVE!" he pleaded. Still nothing. Buster was beginning 
to lose all patience with this animal. "You're driving me NUTS! WHAT 
in the world do I have to DO to get you jumpstarted, _other_ than say 
'giddyap'... oh, NOOO... " 
    Once again, Cyclone responded to the only command he apparently 
understood. As Buster flew by Sam and Honey, they heard him say, "I 
hate horses, I hate horses, I hate horses... " 
    Sam griped, "If'n ah told ya oncet, ah told ya a thousand times-- 
ya don't repeat yerself, varmint... "

                               CHAPTER EIGHT: 

                        "FALLING HARE"... REVISITED. 

    Meanwhile, back on the back of the airship, Bugs was having problems 
of his own. He'd tried to finish Sam's sabotage job, but the two 
scoundrels had boarded and taken off before he could accomplish 
anything. He had only enough time to hang onto the back of the ship as 
they became airborne, with the hope that he could somehow "hop off" at 
the first safe spot they came to. But that safe spot never materialized. 
Bugs had been hanging by his paws ever since. How long he'd been up 
there, he did not know. What he _did_ know, however, was that he 
couldn't hang around much longer. His paws ached from trying not to lose 
his grip; several times, he'd felt them slipping, and it was all he 
could do to force them back onto the narrow edge of the airship, which 
was clearly not built nor intended to accomodate hitchhiking rabbits. 
Bugs only wished he'd had this insight before he'd tried this careless stunt. 
    His big ears had managed to catch only snippets of the conversation 
between the two shnooks at the helm of this dilapidated prairie schooner 
of the air, but they were too far away for him to make out anything 
useful, other than their references to their "guest", which he assumed 
had to be Buck. The only good thing was that since it was apparently 
necessary for the both of them to be upfront to control this thing, 
they couldn't see Bugs in the back. 
    In desperation, Bugs tried to maneuver his feet to the exhaust 
pipes. They extended just far enough so that if he managed to gain a 
foothold, he could at least have some support and give his aching paws 
a much needed rest. The trick was doing this without looking down. As 
the Dean of Acme Looniversity, Bugs knew his Toon Physics, or "T.P.", 
as the Acme students referred to it. If he looked down for even so much 
as a second...  
    Finally, his feet found first one, then the other exhaust pipe. He 
set them down for only a second, only to take them off again as the hot 
pipes burned his feet. He fought the urge to scream in pain. 
    Unfortunately, in fighting that urge, Bugs happened--for only a 
second--to look down...  
    The three riders, some distance below (and several miles behind), 
were trying to keep an eye on the airship as best they could. Sam had 
the binoculars, and was giving Buster and Honey a running commentary 
on what was happening, especially since they were now aware of Bugs's 
dilemma. 
    "Uh-oh... " said Sam. 
    "What's wrong?" asked Buster nervously. 
    "He just looked down." 
    "Oh, no!" cried Honey. "If he falls... " She didn't even want to 
think about it. Even though she'd never been given so much as a cameo 
or non-speaking walk-on in any of the WB cartoons, Honey, being a bright 
girl, knew the laws of "T.P." as well as anybody. She also knew that by 
looking down, Bugs had inadvertently broken the first law of "T.P.", and 
that simple, accidental, irreversible act meant that Bugs was now 
subject to the same physical laws as any other falling obj...  
    Buster noticed Honey's anxiety. "He's got to hang on," he said,
"or somehow get on board that thing without being seen... " 
    "Wa'al," Sam pointed out, "if'n he's a-gonna do it, he'd better do 
it now," as he continued looking through the binoculars. 
    "Why?" asked Buster. 
    "'Cause right now, they're right over Piker's Peak, that's why... the 
roughest, spikiest, most jagged, painfully sharpest amalgamation of 
rocks in the whole dadblamed area! They can cut any fallin' oby-ject 
tuh ribbons, rip it tuh shreds, tear it tuh pieces, pierce... " 
    "Sam, PLEASE!" Honey pleaded. "Don't SAY that!" She looked like she 
might faint at any moment. 
    "Huh?... oh... SOR-ry," Sam muttered, as he returned his gaze to the skies. 
    Bugs, meanwhile, was getting desperate. The higher the airship 
climbed, the harder it became for him to hang on. His ability to breathe 
was also being affected by the higher altitude. Even in his films, Bugs 
had never been through anything even remotely close to this. But those 
were films, made in the relative safety of that animation dump called 
Termite Terrace. This was _real_, and at several thousand feet in the 
air, he knew that there was no safety net in the world that could save 
him. Not now, not after he'd broken the first law of "T.P." He started 
to black out. 
    "No!" he thought, fighting his way back to consciousness. "I've 
GOTTA hang on... gotta find Buck... " Bugs's single-mindedness of purpose, 
while admirable, was coming this close to getting him killed. His paws 
were numb now, and it was sheer will alone that kept him hanging on to 
his precarious perch. And even that will was beginning to fail him. 
    Finally, he could stand it no longer. Then, an idea came to him. It 
was crazy, he knew, but it just might work. It had to. He had no options left. 
    "HELLLLLLPPP!" he yelled with whatever strength he had left. And for 
good measure, he repeated it. 
    "Hey, did you hear something?" the short guy with the slicked-back 
hair and the pencil-thin mustache asked. 
    "Yeah," replied his burly partner, throwing a rusty ship's control 
to "Hover" (which had been written on masking tape and just stuck on 
the control). The airship suddenly stopped in mid-air and hovered 
lazily, just over the most treacherous part of Piker's Peak. Cautiously, the 
two made their way to the back of the airship, and were surprised to see...  
    "Hey... isn't that a rabbit hanging by his paws?" asked the short one. 
    "Sure looks like it to me," the burly one replied. 
    "Eh, not to be repetitive or nothin'," gasped Bugs, "but...  
HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!" 
    The two approached Bugs. Whoever this hitchhiking rabbit was, he 
had some explaining to do. 
    "Why have they stopped?" Buster asked Sam. The blue bunny was now 
as anxious as Honey, who was busy offering silent prayers to whoever 
was in charge of toon salvation, grasping her Star of David, her 
cross, her Rosary Beads, and anything else she could think of. 
    "Ah don't... uh-oh, they've seen him!" replied Sam. Honey's heart 
leaped to her throat for the second time that day, and though she was 
trying her darndest to be brave, she couldn't keep the tears from 
rolling down her face, where they rode the length of her whiskers 
before falling to the ground. Buster was now by her side, holding her 
paws as tightly as he dared, scared of what those two might do to 
Bugs... and of what Honey's reaction would be if they did it. 
    "What are you doing here, rabbit?" the short one asked as the 
twosome approached Bugs menacingly. 
    "Think fast, rabbit," Bugs thought to himself. "Well, out here 
us rabbits don't get to see somet'in like dis every day," he lied, 
"an' I was just curious what it was, an' I got stuck." Going into 
"Sympathy Take # 37--'Big, Sad Puppy Dog Eyes'," Bugs looked up at the 
two and said, "Can you two help out a rabbit in distress, possibly 
perhaps perchance?" 
    The dastardly duo looked at each other, shrugged, and finally...  
    "What's happening now, Sam?" Buster asked weakly. 
    "Wa'al, it appears they're a-talkin' tuh Bugs, or he's a-lyin' 
tuh them, just havin' a very pleasant conversation almost 10,000 feet 
up in the air over Piker's Peak... " 
    "SAM!" screamed Honey. 
    "Wa'al, they IS!" Sam snapped, before returning his gaze to the airship. 
"Hey, wait!" he exclaimed. "Ah think they're a-gonna haul him in!" 
    Honey's grip on her Star of David, cross, Rosary Beads, and other 
assorted religious icons was such that she'd fused them all into a 
miniature bowling trophy. "Oh, please... " she pleaded to an unseen 
higher authority, tears streaming down her face. 
    Buster, meanwhile, had located two more pairs of binoculars in 
Bugs's saddle bags. Now, all three of them could see what was going on. 
    They were about to wish they hadn't. 
    "So, whaddya say," asked Bugs, still gasping for breath, "can youse 
guys give a rabbit a hand?" He was still making with "Sympathy Take # 37." 
    Finally, the short one smiled. "Why, _sure_, rabbit. We'll be glad 
to help you down." 
    "Oh, dat's great, Doc, I didn't know how much longer I... could...  
h a n g . . . "  Bugs suddenly turned pale. "Ya know, maybe it's dis 
dizzying height, or maybe my ears didn't hear dat correctly. Did you 
say, 'down'?" His eyes suddenly abandoned "Sympathy Take # 37", and 
went into "Genuine Terror--Mode #1!", as the burly goon picked up a 
nearby plank and brought it down swiftly, sharply, and painfully across 
Bugs's paws. 
    Peeking over the edge to the helpless falling figure of one Bugs 
Bunny, the burly one said, "We DID! We DID say 'DOWN'!" 
    Down below, the three riders' hopes of Bugs being rescued suddenly 
turned from hope, to terror, then to shock, and then...  
    "... great horny toads... " Sam said in quiet disbelief. 
    "... Bugs... " Buster said quietly, also not believing what he'd just 
seen. 
    Honey's response echoed throughout the canyons, valleys, and across 
the flatlands of Gower Gulch, until the anguished scream returned to the 
ears of all concerned: 
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" 
    She wavered in her saddle momentarily, before collapsing in a 
sobbing heap into Buster's arms. The little blue bunny held the 
heartbroken girl tightly, fighting back his own tears... a losing battle. 
When Buster finally found his voice again, it was cracked with emotion, 
as well as grim determination. 
    "I swear to you, Honey, they'll _pay_ for this!" he said bitterly. 
"Somehow, they will pay... " He cradled the quaking fembunny's head on 
his shoulder, her screams muffled by his sweater. Before, it had just 
been Bugs's Uncle Buck who'd been in danger. But now, Buster's mentor, 
Sam's favorite foil, and Honey's very reason for being, in one violent, 
despicable act... now...  
    Buster's eyes narrowed, and he whispered angrily through his tears: 
    "Now... it's _personal_!" 

                                CHAPTER NINE: 

                    REFLECTIONS OF ONE HONEY OF A BUNNY...  

    Nobody said anything after that. There wasn't anything they _could_ 
say. Buster noticed that Sam was still in a semi-state of disbelief. 
    "Ah... ah just cain't believe it," he finally said. But there was 
none of the bravado or volume that usually characterized Yoemite Sam's 
voice. Just shock. "Ah... ah thought that critter was gonna live 
forever... he was jus' tryin' ta help his uncle... " Buster wasn't sure, 
but he thought he saw a tear rolling down Sam's enormous mustache. He 
thought he'd try talking to Sam. Heaven knows, Buster had to talk to 
_somebody_, and at this moment, the grief-stricken Honey Bunny was in no 
condition to talk to anyone. Sadly, Buster sat next to Sam. 
    "Sam... (sniff)... " 
    "Yeah?" 
    Buster hesitated slightly before finally getting the words out. 
"You don't... think... (sniff)... that... just maybe... there's a chance that 
Bugs... (sniff)... " 
    With a heavy heart, Sam looked sadly at Buster. "No," he said 
quietly. "In th' studio, when we're filmin', wa'al, that's one thing. 
But out here, there's still parts of the West where they've never heard 
of "T.P." This territory makes its own rules, Buster... an' it don't ever 
forgive mistakes." 
    "I... I just can't believe that Bugs is... is... " Then Buster began 
crying again. He just couldn't bring himself to even think that horrible 
word, much less say it. 
    Sam knew just how he felt. Bowing his head and placing his hat over 
his heart, he said quietly, "Ah know, Buster... ah cain't, either." 
    Then their attention turned towards Honey. She was seated on the 
ground, her head and arms draped over a nearby rock, shaking 
uncontrollably, and screaming her anguish out to the wide open plains. 
    "Poor Honey," Buster remarked, "she must be going through hell right 
now." 
    "Wa'al, how did ya _expect_ her tuh react?" asked Sam. "She lived 
her whole life for that varmint, an' now he's gone." 
    "You'd think she was trying to cry her whole life away," Buster 
said, his heart going out to her. 
    "Ah've seen it happen," said Sam. "Grief is a might powerful 
feeling. It happens in the 'toon world just like it does anywheres 
else." 
    "I... I guess she loved him a lot." 
    "Ah think she always will, Buster," Sam said quietly. He sighed, got 
up, and began walking slowly towards Honey. 
    "Sam?" 
    "Yeah, Buster?" 
    "Go easy with her. She's just had one powerful shock." 
    "We all have, Buster... we _all_ have." 
    Cautiously, Sam approached Honey. She was in a very fragile 
emotional state, and he had to be very careful how he handled her. He 
stood silently beside her for what seemed to be a very long time. The 
reservoir of bottled-up emotions that Honey had kept inside her for so 
long had finally become a broken dam, resulting in a raging torrent of 
tears. It was obvious, even to a roughneck like Sam, that Honey would 
need some TLC right about now, and he wasn't sure that he was the one to 
administer it. "Uh... Honey?" he started hesitantly. 
    Honey, now aware of Sam's presence, looked up at him slowly. Her 
pretty, ever-expressive, deep dark chocolate brown eyes were now so red 
that she could barely see anything or anyone; she'd been crying that 
hard. Finally, she spoke. 
    "Why, Sam?... Why?... " was all the poor girl could manage to get out. 
Sam took a deep breath. This was going to be harder than he thought, so 
he quietly motioned Buster to join him. 
    "Ah don't know, Honey Gal," he said, unconsciously stroking the 
fembunny's ears. "Things like this... ah just don't know... " 
    "All my life, he was all I lived for," she said quietly, when she 
was finally able to get her bearings. "Even before I'd ever met him... " 
    Buster took hold of one of Honey's paws. "Honey, you don't have to 
do this if... " 
    "No, Buster, I have to. Maybe... maybe talking about him will help me 
get through this." 
    "All right," Buster said quietly. "Go on... " 
    "Well, I first met Bugs when I was a child. I couldn't have been 
more than four, five at the most. My folks used to work at Warner Bros., 
doing set design, background work, behind the scenes stuff, you know? 
Of course, at that age, I really wasn't aware of what they were doing. 
Well, one day they took me to the studio, and that's how I met Bugs. 
I'd seen him before on television, of course, but when you're four or 
five, you don't really make the distinction between what's real and 
what's on tv. All I knew of him was that he was this funny rabbit who 
made me laugh. So, when I finally did meet him, it was like I'd known 
him forever, you know?" 
    "I know," replied Buster. "I think he's always had that effect on people." 
    "You know what the first one of his films was that I ever saw?" 
    "No, Honey, what?" 
    "'High-Diving Hare'," she replied. A smile seemed to come to her slowly. 
It was a sad smile, just the same. "I'm sure Sam remembers that one." 
    "Ah sure do," he remarked softly. "You know, ah'm still usin' some 
of the jokes from that film." 
    "When I first saw it, some of the jokes went right over my head," 
Honey said quietly. "Do you know, it took me years before I finally 
figured out what in the world you were talking about when you said, 
'You'll notice I didn't say "Richard".'" Sam laughed at that. 
    "You know," Buster admitted, "as many times as I've seen that one, I 
_still_ don't get it." 
    "It was a song, Buster," replied Honey. "'Open The Door, Richard' by 
Jack McVea." She then began singing softly: 

              "Open the door, Richard 
               Open the door and let me in, 
               Open the door, Richard...  
               Richard, why don't you open that door?"* 

    She sighed, "It was a silly little tune, really, but for some 
reason, Bugs always liked it. I finally found a mint condition 78 of 
that thing... I was going to give it to Bugsy for Christmas... " She 
stopped, and tears began welling up in her eyes again. "I... I always 
thought there'd be time... " Honey shut her eyes tightly, trying in vain 
to stop the second wave that was moments from coming. Buster looked at 
Sam, who was just as much at a loss as to what to do. 
    "Oh, Dear God, I loved him so... " she finally cried out. Buster, 
not knowing what else to do, hugged Honey, and she collapsed into 
his shoulder, crying rivers of tears. Buster's sweater was getting 
soaked, but that didn't matter, not at a time like this. Buster knew 
that with Bugs gone, Honey was going to have to somehow find the 
strength to carry on without him. And if she was going to be of any 
further use to Buster and Sam, then she needed to get it all out, all 
of the sadness and grief that she'd collected over the many years she'd 
loved Bugs, no matter how long that took. 
    "After all," Buster thought, "I lost a mentor, Sam lost... well, 
only Sam would know _that_; but what Honey's lost can't be measured...  
by anybody." 
     Finally, after what seemed like hours, but only took in reality 
close to... oh, who was counting, anyway?... it appeared that Honey was 
all cried out, at least for the time being. Wiping her eyes, which were 
now redder than before, she tried to look at Buster. "I'm sorry... you 
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must think I'm a fool... " 
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    "No, we don't," Buster told her softly. "But, you do have to go on, 
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Honey. We all do." 
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    "Yeah," agreed Sam. "Bugs woulda wanted ya to. You know that, 
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don'cha know that?" 
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    "... (sniff)... I know that... " 
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    "She knows that," replied Buster, still holding the shaking 
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fembunny. 
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    "... (sniff)... Buster?" 
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    "Yeah, Honey?" 
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    "Does... (sniff)... does it ever stop hurting?" 
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    Buster sighed. "I really don't know. I've never had to deal with 
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anything like this before... " 


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    Buster took out a small handkerchief and wiped Honey's eyes. "May 
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I say something to you?" 
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    "Yes, Buster?" 
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    "Well, Honey, I've been thinking... Bugs came out here to do a job. 
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He didn't get a chance to finish it," he said quietly. "I think, instead 
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of all of us just sitting around here feeling sorry for ourselves, the 
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least we can do is to try and finish it for him. We owe his memory that 
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much. But, Sam and I can't do it without you." He then waited for the 
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grieving fembunny's reaction. She didn't make him wait. 
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    "... And _I'm_ supposed to be 'the sensible one'," she finally 
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sighed. She took a deep breath, and spoke haltingly. "You're... you're 
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right, Buster... we've... still got a job to do... we've got to find Buck, 
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if we can... " She then embraced both Buster and Sam, and kissed them on 
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the cheek. "Thank you... the both of you." 
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    "No charge," Buster smiled. 
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    "We'll... uh... we'll give ya a chancet ta prepare yourself, ya know, 
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git your head together. Take all th' time ya need, Gal." 
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    "Thank you, Samuel," Honey said softly. Then, taking a quick, deep 
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breath and wiping her eyes one last time, she said, "I..I'm ready now." 
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    "You're sure?" asked Buster. 
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    She nodded. "I'm sure. Bugsy _would_ have wanted it that way." 
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    "Good gal," Sam said as he helped her up. "Now, ah just hope we 
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ain't lost track of them idjits... " 
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    "I wouldn't worry about _that_, Sam," said Buster, looking through 
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his binoculars at the slowly dissipating black smoke clouds to the East. 
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Sam grabbed his binoculars and stared in the direction Buster was 
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pointing to. 
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    "Good eyes, rascal!" he declared. 
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    "That's what eatin' carrots'll do for you!" Buster smiled. 
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    By this time, Honey had indeed gotten her head together, and was 
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back in the saddle again. "Sam," she said, her voice somehow stronger 


than it had been in a while, "do you really think we can catch them?" 
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    "Wa'al, they _do_ have a couple hours' jump on us, but if'n we hurry... " 
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    "Then what are we waiting for?," asked Buster impatiently. "Besides, 
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nobody's supposed to get a jump on us rabbits, right, Honey?" 
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    "Right, Buster... if there's any jumping to be done, we'll do it!" 
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    "Good girl! All right... follow that boat!" 
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    "Aww, don't be a smarty-aleck," Sam snapped, as he mounted his 
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horse. He waited a few seconds, then yelled, "Wa'al... FOLLER THAT BOAT!" 
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    "Lead the way, Sammy!" Buster shouted. Sam and Honey took off 
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immediately, with Bugs's black stallion following right behind. Buster, 
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however, was _still_ having his problems with Cyclone. 
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    "What is the DEAL with you, horse?" Buster asked in frustration. 
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"Don't you move to any other word besides 'giddyap'... oh, noooo... " 
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    As the spirited Shetland Pony overtook Sam and Honey, with Buster 
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still flying in a horizontal position, Honey shrugged and took off after 
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him... again. She considered warning Buster about being a "show-off", but 
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thought that joke was beginning to wear a little thin. 
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                                000000 
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    After Buster had been saved from impending doom for the umpteenth 
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time that day, he noticed that Sam had been right. The faster they rode, 
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the closer they were to the airship. But then again, the strange craft 
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didn't seem to be breaking any airspeed records to begin with, possibly 
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due to the age--or clumsy construction--of the thing. It was still far 
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ahead of them, true, but at least it was in sight. 
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    Something else Buster was, if not pleased, then happier to see, was 
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the gradual change that was happening to Honey Bunny since they took up 
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the chase. Maybe it was out of neccessity; maybe it was a long-supressed 
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desire to finally break out of her "overly cautious" habits; or, 
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perhaps, it was a longing for revenge for what those two goons had 
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robbed her of. Whatever the reason, where she had once been mostly meek, 
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soft-spoken, and reserved, Honey Bunny was now all business. Even the 


kindest teacher needs to exercise authority now and then, and Honey-- 
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even though she wasn't in the classroom at the moment--finally found the 
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strength to use it. Despite her unfamiliarity with the territory, she 
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put her rabbit instincts to good use, second-guessing Sam on the 
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quickest ways to cut their pursuit time, and to Sam's surprise, being 
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absolutely right. 
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    Buster couldn't help but think to himself that if Bugs could only 
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see her now, he'd wholeheartedly approve of the way that Honey was 
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putting her grief behind her and just "gettin' on with it," as he'd say. 
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When this thing was over, and if she had any tears left to cry for 
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Bugs--as undoubtedly she would--well, tears would just have to wait. 
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Crying wasn't going to bring him back, and as Buster had pointed out, 
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they still had a job to do. Mourning for her lost love could wait for 
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later. Right now, finding Bugs's Uncle Buck was the thing that was 
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driving this pretty grey hare, and if this terrain was going to fight 
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her, well, dammit, Honey was just going to fight back, no ifs, ands or 
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buts. It had to be that way, and even Honey was surprising herself with 
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her new-found inner strength, which Buster suspected she'd really had 
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all along. 
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    "They've got to come down and refuel sometime," Honey said 
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determinedly as the path the group was riding on followed a long, large 
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canyon wall that temporarily obscured their view of the airship. 
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    "Hey, Sam," asked Buster, "what's beyond this canyon, anyway?" 
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    "Beats me, I ain't got the slightest idee." 
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    "I thought you knew every inch of this territory," Honey said. There 
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was no snideness, no rancor, not even a trace of sarcasm in her remark; 
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just a simple statement. 
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    "Ah never said _that_, Honey Gal," Sam replied. "What ah said was, 
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'If there's anybody that knows this here ter-rain, it's me!' Ah never 
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claimed ta be a know-it all!" Then, as an afterthought, he said, "Of 
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course, it has been a while since I've been out here... " 
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    "Well, we're certainly not getting anywhere just talking about 


unusually large canyon formations," Buster added with more than a hint 
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of sarcasm. 
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    "There's no need for _that_, Buster," Honey cautioned. "Just keep 
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following this path... we'll catch up to them again." As they rode on, 
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however, a new worry began to overtake them. It was still early in the 
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afternoon, but the eventual loss of daylight, if the chase went on that 
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long, was a real concern. Finally, however, they reached the end of the 
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canyon wall. As they began to make the turn into open country once more, 
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Honey pulled up suddenly and signaled the others to stop. 
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    "Hold up, folks!" she said. 
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    "Why? What's the danged deal, gal?" asked Sam. 
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    "Yeah, not to be derivative, but... 'What's Up, Honey?' Didn't you 
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say we should keep following the path?" asked Buster. 
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    A look of total bewilderment was on Honey's face. "Which one would 
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you suggest?" Buster and Sam's mouths dropped wide open. The one path 
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they'd been following had now branched out into three corkscrew paths, 
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each one criss-crossing the other. The riders dismounted, trying to make 
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sense of the crazy, twisting, winding roads before them. 
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    "They don't seem to follow any configuration at all... this is NUTS!" 
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Buster noted with even more bewilderment than Honey. The trio took out 
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their binoculars and began studying the paths... unaware that they themselves 
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were now being watched by a shadowy figure just a few feet away...  

                                CHAPTER TEN:

       "DID YOU EVER GET THE FEELING YOU WAS BEIN'... WATCHED????" 

    The shadowy figure watched the threesome silently, with more than a 
casual interest. Buster, Sam and Honey were staring at the paths so intently 
that had a coyote howled at that moment, they would not have noticed. 
    "We _could_ try that one that veers off to the left," Buster suggested. 
    The watcher spoke, seeming only to Buster. "Nah, you don't wanna do 
dat. It'll take youse right into a great big tar pit. You'd be stuck for 
a long time... ya don't wanna go dere... " 
    "No, we don't wanna go there," Buster mused. 
    "Wa'al," Sam offered, "we _could_ take that there one that goes to 
the right, ya know... " Again the watcher spoke, so that this time only 
Sam heard him. 
    "Naahh... you'd go right over da edge of a cliff. Ya _really_ don't 
wanna go dere... " 
    "No," Sam agreed, "we really don't wanna go there... " 
    Finally, Honey Bunny spoke. "Well, if we're not going to take the paths 
on the left _or_ the right, then simple logic dictates that we take the path 
in the middle. But these paths are so crazy, can we even find it?" 
     The voice spoke to her. "Whadda _you_ think?" 
     "What do I think? Hmmm... well, I think that if we simply began by 
picking up the trail from the other side of that canyon wall and just 
kept going as though these other paths weren't here, we'd be on the 
right path in no time. Doesn't that sound logical?" 
    "Sounds good to me," said Buster. 
    "Me, too!" Sam agreed. 
    The watcher threw in his two bits' worth. "Bright goil! Brains _and_ 
beauty! Ya know, Duchess, you'd make a great teacher." 
    "Look, you," Honey began, "I already _am_ a teacher, and don't...  
call. . . m  e  .  .  .  '  D   u   c   h   e   s   s   '  .   .   .  " 
She dropped her binoculars, and her eyes welled up with tears. 
    "Honey, are you all right?" asked Buster. 
    "I... I'm not sure," she replied hesitantly. "Did... did you guys hear 
... did you hear what _I_ heard just now?" 
    "Ah'm not sure," Sam began. "Ah _thought_ ah heard... but... " 
    "Now that you mention it, Honey, I thought _I_ heard... but, that's 
impossible! It _couldn't_ be him!" Buster added. 
    "We all _couldn't_ have possibly imagined the same thing... no, it 
_can't_ be," Honey said weakly, not sure if her legs would support her. 
    "It _couldn't_ be," Sam said. 
    A look of hope suddenly appeared on Buster's face. "It's _GOTTA_ 
be!" Slowly, the threesome turned around, and came face-to-face with, 
looking almost none the worse for wear, considering...  
    "BUGS!!!" they shouted. 
    "Eh... you was expectin' ta see maybe Speedy Gonzales?" he replied 
nonchalantly. 
    "All RIGHT!" Buster shouted happily as he ran to embrace his mentor. 
"You're ALIVE!" 
    "So it would appear, kid," he laughed. "Glad ta see ya, Buster!" 
    "Ah never thought ah'd ever say this, varmint, but ah'm glad ta see 
yuh too!" Sam bellowed, shaking Bugs's hand like he'd just met up with 
an old friend. 
    "Da feelin' is mucilage," Bugs laughed. They kept this up for a few 
more seconds, until they all caught sight of Honey. She was just 
standing there, her paws up at her mouth, shaking, not really believing 
what her eyes were clearly telling her was only a few feet away from 
her. She wasn't sure whether she should scream or cry, but having done 
plenty of that already--maybe too much, as far as she was concerned-- 
and being Honey Bunny to begin with, she did what for her was the only 
logical thing left to do. 
    Slowly, a bit unsteadily at first, she walked, then ran to where 
Bugs was... then stopped just two inches away from him. She slowly 
removed one of her gloves, and reached up to touch Bugs's face. If 
this wasn't a mirage, if this _was_ real, she wanted to feel it for 
herself. Hesitantly, she reached up... and made contact with Bugs's face. 
    "... Bugsy... " she finally whispered. 
    "I missed you, too," he said quietly, as he took her in his arms and 
administered some serious liplock. Yep, he was real, all right. 
    Buster and Sam took in this emotional sight for a while. "Shouldn't 
there be a sappy string section playing 'Unchained Melody' or 
something?" Buster finally asked, a tear rolling down his face. 
    "I ain't got no idee," Sam said. "I got my harmoni-kee, if yuh'd 
like me tuh play somethin'... " 
    "Don't you _dare_!" Buster kidded. "Come on, Sam, let's leave these 
two alone for a while." 
    "But ah don't... OOoohh... heh-heh, all right," Sam replied as they went 
back to the horses. "Ah'm sure they have a lot tuh say to each other." 
    Buster glanced over his shoulder. "Somehow, Sam, I think they're 
saying plenty without saying a word." 
    Buster was right. The passionate embrace between Bugs and Honey 
spoke volumes. When he finally stopped long enough for Honey to catch 
her breath, Bugs looked into her red-rimmed eyes. "Ya know, Hon, a 
little Visine'll get da red out, but in _your_ case, you could use a 
55-gallon drum of da stuff!" 
    Honey laughed. It felt good to be able to do that again. "That 
obvious, huh?" 
    "Eh, a _little_, Duchess... ya finally let it all out, eh?" 
    She nodded. "Yes... well, not _all_. But it sure felt like it." 
    "You're gonna be ok, though?" 
    She smiled. "Yes. I will admit, though, when I saw you fall, and I 
thought you'd died, well, I wanted to die, too." 
    "When you t'ought I'd... " Then Bugs quickly put 2 & 2 together. "Ohh... " 
    "Yes, I saw it. And I thought I saw everything I'd lived for vanish. 
I didn't want to go on." 
    "So, what changed yer mind, Hon?" 
    "The truth?" 
    "Sure. Ya never lied to me before... why start now?" 
    "All right." She took a deep breath. "Two things. One, of course, 
was that we still have to find Buck. That's the most important thing. 
That's why we're out here in the first place. Buster reminded me of that." 
     Bugs smiled. "Buster's a good kid." 
     "The best," Honey agreed. "If it hadn't been for him and Sam talking 
me through... well, you know... I really don't think I could've gone on." 
    "I'm glad ya did. What's da other reason?" 
    "Well," Honey sighed, "it's the idea that I've lived most of my life 
for you. I've lived so much of it for you, that I've never even given a 
second thought of living for me. I've been in your shadow for nearly 30 
years, Bugs, and believe me, that shadow looms pretty large." 
    "Yeah," Bugs mused. "It musta been cold dere in my shadow... wait a 
minute... you ain't tryin' ta say what I _t'ink_ you're tryin' ta say... 
are ya?" 
    "No. But I did come to the realization that I wouldn't really know 
how to function without you around. I mean, you've _always_ been there 
for me, but when I thought you were gone, I was suddenly faced with the 
very real prospect of being alone for the first time in my life. I guess 
I need to know that if that ever really happened, if you _did_ leave me 
alone for whatever reason, that I _could_ carry on." 
    "And... could ya?" Bugs asked, a slight tinge of nervousness in his voice. 
    "I think, after everything that's happened today, I might. It would 
be hard at first, but I think if I had to, I probably could. And get 
that expression off your face, Bugs Bunny. I'll never stop loving you. 
I just couldn't. But please, don't ask me to be your 'maid in the 
shade.' I can't play that part anymore." 
    Bugs sighed. "Well, I _did_ ask for da truth... " 
    "I try," Honey smiled. "But just because I don't want to walk behind 
you anymore doesn't mean I don't want to keep walking with you. You are 
very important to me, Bugsy. Always have been, always will be. You make 
me laugh, you make me cry... you can make me so damned _mad_ sometimes...  
and for these and a thousand and one other reasons, Bugs Bunny, I love you." 
    As they kissed and hugged again, Bugs looked down at his lady love 
and smiled. "Ya know somet'in? You're somet'in' else." 
    She sighed and placed her head against his chest. "So are you, 'Big 
Guy.' You're the only one I'd ever trust with my heart. You're all... you're 
all... " 
    "All what?" asked Bugs. 
    "You're all WET!" Honey declared, as Buster and Sam rejoined them. 
Sure enough, Bugs was soaked from ears to feet! "What in the world 
HAPPENED to you, anyway?" 
    "It took ya DIS long ta notice?" 
    "Yeah, varmint! What'd ya do, stop to shower first and fergit ta 
towel off before rejoinin' th' living, if'n ya call this living?" asked Sam. 
    "Ohh, okay," Bugs laughed. "Well, I guess ya all saw me fallin' off 
dat boat... " 
    "Don't remind us," Buster said. 
    "Well, anyhows, when I fell off dat boat, it was right over da most 
dangerous part of Piker's Peak!" 
    "That's bad," Buster noted. 
    "No, dat's good," Bugs replied. 
    "How come?" Buster asked. 
    "Well, luckily, as I was fallin', I happened ta see, just a little 
to my left on da way down, dis great big haystack!" 
    "Say, that's good!" Sam declared. 
    "No, dat's bad," Bugs replied. 
    "How come?" asked Sam. 
    "Because stickin' up in da very center of dat haystack was a very 
sharp pitchfork, points up!" 
    "Oh, my!" Honey cried. "That's bad!" 
    "Naah, Duchess, dat's good!" 
    "Oh? How come?" 
    "Because luckily, I missed da pitchfork... " 
    "That's good," Buster said. 
    "Nah, dat's bad," Bugs replied. 
    "How come?" Buster asked. 
    "Because UN-luckily, I also missed da haystack." 
    "That's bad, all right," Sam said. 
    "Nah, dat's good." 
    "Is it my turn?" Honey asked. 
    "Not really," Sam replied, "but ah'm somewhat of an alleged 
gentleman. Go ahead, Honey Gal." 
    "Why, thank you, Samuel," Honey smiled. "(Ahem)... 'How come?,' she 
asked skeptically... " 
    "Funny, Bunny... Fortunately, right next to da haystack, what to my 
wonderin' eyes should appear but good old Lake Haveabathski!" 
    "That IS good!" Honey said. 
    "Nah, dat's bad," Bugs replied. 
    The trio folded their arms and just stared at Bugs before finally 
saying as one, "Why?" 
    Bugs adopted a look of mock hurt and disappointment. "What's da 
matter, ya don't wanna play 'How Come?' no more?" 
    "Darned RIGHT!" they replied as one. 
    "Okay, dis was startin' ta get on my noives, too. Well, dere was dis 
abandoned barge in da middle of da lake, and since ya don't wanna play 
no more, I just crossed my fingers and aimed my big feet just to da left of
it. Den I landed wit' a big 'Ker-_SPLASH!_', an' made my way back here." 
    "Well, that would explain why you're soaking wet," Buster remarked. 
    Suddenly, a look of non-benevolent skepticism appeared on Honey's 
face. "WAIT a minute! Bugsy, even at the distance you fell from, if you 
were to hit the water... well, the impact alone would have killed you!" 
    Bugs smiled. "Well, dat's true, Hon, you're right, normally it 
would... but ya see... Lake Haveabathski is full o' soft water." He then 
stepped back and waited for their reactions to that lousy pun. They 
weren't long in coming. 
    "Oh, NOOO!" Buster groaned. 
    "Bugsy, that's TERRIBLE!" Honey said sharply. 
    "Varmint," Sam growled menacingly, "for a pun like that, you should 
only go jump in th' lake!" 
    Bugs laughed. "I _DID_, Sam, I _DID_! I _DID_ go jump in da lake!" 
    Honey looked forlornly at Buster. "And now he steals from Tweety." 
    "He has no shame," Buster sighed. 

                               CHAPTER ELEVEN: 

                   TAKE THE TIME TO STOP & EAT THE CHILI 
        (IF YOU REALLY DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR INSIDES, THAT IS... ) 

    It was decided that the group had earned a little rest. They'd been 
pushing the horses pretty hard that day, and besides, they hadn't eaten 
since breakfast. To everyone's surprise except his, Sam had enough fixin's 
in his saddle bag to feed a small army, if that army happened to number four. 
While he was getting chow prepared, Honey was occupied with Buster. 
    "All right, Buster... GO!" Honey shouted. A bit apprehensively, 
Buster gave the Shetland Pony a light kick in the sides, and to his 
amazement, the stubborn little horse actually started moving... and he 
didn't even have to say "giddyap"! 
    "So far, so good, now what?" Buster yelled. 
    "Just do what I taught you, and you'll do just fine," Honey replied. 
    "Why not?" Buster thought. "After all, _she_ wouldn't lie." And in 
no time at all, Buster was finally getting that lousy little horse to 
obey him.
    "Bravo, Buster!" Honey said, applauding as the blue bunny brought 
Cyclone to a stop. 
    "Ya know, you just might make a cowboy outta him yet!" Bugs 
remarked as Buster dismounted, ran up to Honey, and gave her a one size 
fits all hug. 
    "Thanks for the lesson, 'teach'," Buster said appreciatively. 
    "No charge," Honey replied, smiling her warmest smile. "Now, don't 
forget what I taught you. I don't want to have to keep riding to your 
rescue forever." 
    "I'll keep that in mind," he laughed. "So, when's lunch?" 
    "Ah thought yuh'd never ask, critter," Sam yelled. "Come an' git it, 
why don'cha?" So, they did. 
    "Mmmmmmm," Honey said, taking in a deep breath. ""That sure smells 
good, Sam, whatever it is... what is it, anyway?" 
    "Why, it's my '5-Alarm Chili,' of course! Guaranteed to strip the 
paint off a Winnebago!" 
    "Eh, Sam," Bugs asked cautiously, "ain'tcha got somet'in rabbits can 
eat? No offense or not'in, but I've had your chili before." 
    "Is it that bad?" asked Buster. 
    "On da contrary, it's actually pretty good... until it starts 
kickin' in. Den, call da fire brigade and da paramedics!" 
    "Weak stomachs, that's yer problem, varmint. Eatin' all them 
carrots has made ya soft!" Sam grumbled. 
    "Well, I'm not afraid of food," Honey said. "Come on, Sam, dish it up!" 
    "Hon, are ya _sure_ ya wanna be doin' dis? I mean, a sweet, gentle 
goil like yourself might not be able ta handle dis... " 
    Honey Bunny gave Bugs a "Don't tell _me_ what to eat, Mister!" look. 
    "Don't tell _me_ what to eat, Mister!" she said (what'd I tell 
you?). "And besides, if I'm ever going to stop being so meek and mild, 
then it's better to get it over with all at once. Go ahead, Sam." 
    "Ohh-kay, but don't say yuh wasn't warned... becuz ya _wuz_!" Sam 
said, dishing out a teaspoonful of the stuff and handing it to Honey. 
    "You can do better than THAT!," she snapped. "Come on, Sam. I want 
it hot, steaming, and in my face, and I want it NOW!" 
    "She IS talking about chili, isn't she?" Buster asked. 
    "She'd BETTER be," mused Bugs. 
    Sam shrugged. "Ohh-kay, but remember, you asked for it!" he said, 
dishing out a large bowl of chili and handing it to Honey. 
    She smiled, said "Thank you, Sam," took a large spoon and finished 
the chili in no time. Taking out a handkerchief and daintily wiping the 
last residue of chili from her lips, she smiled and said, "Hmmm... say, 
that IS good! Tell me, Sam, do you use--" Then she stopped speaking 
altogether. Her eyes watered up and spilled over, she clutched her 
throat, opened her mouth, and then shot out fire like a flamethrower. 
    "HIT THE DIRT!" Buster yelled, as he, Bugs and Sam ducked just in 
time to avoid being sent to a major burn unit. 
    When Honey finally recovered her wits, she brushed her ears back, 
straightened her bolo tie, dusted herself off, turned to Sam, and said 
plainly, "Hmmm... needs a little something." The others stared at her, 
then at each other, and then back at Honey. 
    "What's it need, Honey Gal?" Yosemite Sam finally asked. 
    "A FIRE EXTINGUISHER!!!" she screamed, little puffs of smoke 
emerging from her mouth and ears. Then, regaining her composure, she 
turned to Bugs. "On the other hand, meek and mild is good. You can't 
make changes like this overnight, gradual, yeah, that's the ticket...  
HOO BOY HOWDY!" Sweating profusely, Honey sat down on a nearby rock 
and attempted to catch her breath. Finally, in a raspy voice, she asked, 
"Sam, you don't have anything to make a sandwich with, do you?" 
    "Sure do, Gal... what kind yuh want?" 
    "Anything, as long as there's ICE in the middle of it! Why don't 
you warn a girl about that chili? That stuff's DANGEROUS!... Why is 
everybody laughing?" 

                                   000000 
 
     Sam had enough common sense to make sure he had something else for 
grub just in case the chili didn't go over. And since it 
hadn't--although Sam seemed to like it--the Bunnies (no relation!) were 
more than happy to make do with sandwiches. When the meal was over, Sam 
began cleaning up while Honey gasped, "I'll tend to the horses... " It 
would be a little while before her voice would return. 
    In the meantime, Bugs and Buster sat off to one side, taking in the 
view of the territory surrounding them. 
    "Take a good look at dis place, kid... ya ain't likely to see many 
more of 'em like dis at da rate dis so-called 'civilization' is goin'." 
    "It's quite a sight, all right, Bugs. Someday when this is all over, 
we'll have to come back here so we can really appreciate it." 
    "Yeah," sighed Bugs. "Da guy in charge really woiked overtime ta 
make dis scenery look good." Then he turned his attention towards 
another beautiful sight. "Poor Honey... I _tried_ ta tell her about Sam's 
chili... " Bugs laughed, but Buster could tell there was a lot of love in 
Bugs's laughter. 
    "Ya _like_ her, huh?" Buster quipped. 
    "Eh... _could_ be," Bugs replied, still laughing. Then he turned 
serious. "Buster, ya want some free advice?" 
    "From you? Always!" 
    "I guess ya know Honey an' I have been together for a long time. I 
not only like da goil, I t'ink da woild of her. An' when ya find a goil 
like dat, do yourself a favor. Hold on to her wit' both hands, an' 
never let her go... 'cause ya never know when you'll find someone dis 
special again." Buster was tempted to say, "Okay, but what'll I tell 
Babs?," but thought better of it, because he knew Bugs was talking 
straight from the heart. 
    Bugs continued. "I ever tell ya how I met Honey?" Before Buster had 
a chance to reply, Bugs proceeded to tell him. "Well, her folks used ta 
woik at Warner Brudders. Set design, backgrounds, dat sorta stuff, ya 
know? Well, one day, dey brought their kid to da studio. She was a cute 
little t'ing way back den, too." He smiled at the memory of their first 
meeting all those years ago. "Well, da kid took to me right away. And, 
as time and a half went by, she grew up. Boy, did she grow up! An' da 
funny t'ing was, I wasn't even t'inkin' of her as romantical material. 
I'd been a widower for a while, an' I just wasn't innersted in startin' 
over again, ya know? But den, one fine day, I took anudder look at her. 
Then anudder... and den one more after that. And, well, nature took its 
crash course, and we've been togedder ever since. I ain't sayin' it's 
been a piece o' carrot cake all da way. It ain't been poifect, but no 
relationship ever is. We've had our ups an' downs, breakups and makeups, 
just like any couple, an' yet, we're still togedder." He glanced at 
Honey, who smiled, blushed, and then returned to tending the horses. 
    Bugs's next question caught Buster completely by surprise. "Ya 
ever give any t'ought to what you an' Babs'll do after ya graduate? 
I mean, ya ain't gonna be 'Tiny' Toons forever, ya know." Buster didn't 
know how to answer that. Bugs smiled. "I t'ought so. Ya haven't. Well, 
if ya know what's good for ya, you'll start t'inkin' 'bout it, and 
you'll make room in your future for Babsie." Buster started to say 
something, but Bugs didn't give him the chance. 
    "Listen to da voice of experience, kid. I've been around a long 
time. I've known a lotta folks dat don't ever get a chance at findin' 
someone special. Not even a second chance, much less a foist one. But 
you an' Babs, you two got somet'in' goin' on. You may not appreciate it 
yet, but if you're as smart as I give ya credit for bein', someday ya 
will. Just don't wait too long to let her know," Bugs told him, casting 
another glance at Honey, "... 'cause ya never know when t'ings'll slip 
outta your grasp." Bugs took a deep breath. "Oh, by da way, Buster...  
ya didn't tell her our secret, did ya?" 
    "No," Buster said quietly. "I wanted to, but I wanted to make sure 
you weren't coming back. Besides, I think that really should be 
something you two should discuss between yourselves. It isn't my place 
to let her know something like this, Dad." 
    "T'anks, Buster," Bugs whispered. "Someday, I'll tell her. But not 
right now." Then returning to a normal speaking voice, Bugs said, "Well, 
I t'ink we've been sittin' on our seat cushions long enough. We'd better 
get goin' if we're gonna catch up to dose guys. Ya got any questions 
about what I told ya?" 
    "None at all," Buster said. "Thanks for the advice." As they made their 
way to the horses, he added, "You know something? Honey's a pretty lucky 
girl." 
    "Oh? How come, kid?" 
    Buster smiled. "She snared _you_, didn't she?" 
    Bugs laughed. "Dat she did, Buster... dat she _did_! But, just 
between you an' me, don't let _her_ know dat we know dat, okay?" He 
winked conspiratorially as they rejoined Sam and Honey. 
    "Well, tarnation, it's about time!" Sam complained. "What wuz you
two a-talkin' 'bout that wuz so important, anyways?" 
    Buster grinned. "Oh... just girl talk, Sam." 
    "Oh... WHAT?!?" 
    "Never mind, Sammy," Bugs laughed, as the group mounted their horses 
one more time. 
    "Were you able to learn anything while you were hanging around up 
there, Bugsy?" Honey asked, her voice returning to normal. 
    "Yeah. Two t'ings. One, never to try a stupid stunt like dat again; 
an' two, from what little I hoid, dey've got Buck stashed somewhere." 
    "Then you think he's... " 
    "Still alive? I _hope_ so, Honey. He'd be useless to dem any other 
way. Yeah, dey need him for some reason, and everyt'ing points to da 
'Lost Rabbit Mine'." Bugs was thinking heavily now. "Hmmm... I just wonder... " 
    "You got a plan, Bugs?" asked Buster. 
    "Not yet, but one t'ing's for coitan... dem two jokers _ain't_ gonna 
be expectin' ta see _me_ again!... Eh, whatcha starin' at, Honey?" 
    "Bugsy, where are your gloves?" 
    "Huh?" Then Bugs looked at his paws. "Oh, no! I musta lost 'em in 
dat fall! An' dose were da ones dose joiks at Warner's gave me for my 
50th boithday!" He sighed, accepting his loss. "Oh, well, all in da line 
of duty... " Bugs was still thinking hard about what he'd do if he ever 
caught up to those clowns. Buster, Honey and Sam just looked at each 
other, but were all thinking the same thing: if anybody was going to 
clean those two goons' clocks, Bugs had first dibs. He'd earned that right. 

                               CHAPTER TWELVE: 
 
            "... WHERE SELDOM IS HEARD A DISCOURAGING WORD, 
                     UNLESS YOU'RE NEAR BUGS'S UNCLE." 

    "Bugs!" shouted Buster, pointing skyward. 
    "All right, I see it!" Bugs replied. Luck, or fate, was still on 
their side for the time being. He focused his attention on the black 
clouds of smoke that, by now, the foursome knew could only be coming 
from one source. As they rode on, Bugs stared hard through his 
binoculars. "Okaaayyy... dey're descendin' again." 
    "To the level of _what_?" Honey asked sharply. 
    "Ah'd say 'pond scum' mahself," grumbled Sam. 
    "Isn't that an insult to pond scum?" Buster asked. The group allowed 
themselves a brief laugh at that remark. 
    "Okay, fun time'll have ta wait," Bugs said. He was now 
super-serious, as he and the others studied the ugly airship as it 
descended near an even smaller shack than the last one the two goons 
had used as a hideout. They watched silently as the two "joiks" left 
the ship and entered the shack. 
    "Hey, Bugsy," Honey whispered finally, "that small guy's got your 
gloves!" Bugs continued staring through his binoculars. "Bugs, didn't 
you hear me? I said... " 
    "Yeah, Hon, I _hoid_ ya. I was lookin' at somet'in' else. Quick, 
everyone look inside before dey close da door!" The group all looked 
through their binoculars in the direction Bugs had indicated. 
    "We're looking, Bugsy, but I still don't see... " Honey started to 
say, when she stopped in mid-sentence and gasped. "Oh... my... lord... " 
    "Bugs," Buster said quietly, "that old guy tied to that chair... is that... ?" 
    "Yeah," Bugs replied grimly. "_DAT'S_ Uncle Buck!" 

                                   000000 

    Buck didn't look all that happy to see the two scoundrels, and 
wasted no time in letting them know it. 
    "Ain't you two late for posin' for the sides of milk cartons?" he 
snapped defiantly. 
    The short one approached him menacingly. "You know, Buck, it 
wouldn't be too much trouble for us to give you a matching lump on the 
other side of your head!" 
    "'Discouraging word'," muttered Buck, his head still sporting the 
painful reminder of what they'd done to him with his telephone. "Just 
you wait. You'll get yours, the both of ya!" 
    "As soon as you sign over the deed to your mine to us, we'll get what's 
coming to us, don't you worry about _that_!" the burly one snickered. 
    "NEVER! You two honyocks ain't gettin' your hands on that mine, even 
over my dead body!" 
    "THAT can still be arranged, rabbit!" the burly one growled, as he 
moved threateningly towards the old bunny...  

                                   000000 

    "I wish I knew what was goin' on in dere," Bugs mused. "Well, da 
time for t'inkin' is over. Sam, can ya keep an eye on da horses?" 
    "Ya gotta _ask_, varmint? But, what are yuh... " 
    "Sorry, Sammy, ain't got time for explanations. Buster... " 
    "Bugs, if it's all the same to you, I think I'll just let Sam handle 
the horses," he replied, the disappointment of the earlier botched 
horse-minding incident still burned in his memory. 
    "It's okay, kid, Honey explained what happened." Then turning to Honey, 
Bugs said, "You know what ya said about bein' stuck in da shade all da time? 
Well, here's your chance ta get in on da action! You comin' wit' me?" 
    This offer from Bugs took the fembunny completely by surprise. "ME?? 
What can _I_ do?" 
    Bugs smiled. "More den you ever _t'ought_ ya could, Baby Doll! Sam, 
you an' Buster keep dose horses ready ta run. We're gonna need ta make 
a real fast getaway. Honey... follow me!" Without a question, Honey Bunny 
followed her beau as they made their way to the door of the tiny shack. 
Well, maybe _one_ question...  
    "Bugsy, what have you got in mind?" 
    "Lemme put it dis way... ya know how you're always sayin' ya can 
never find shoes in your size?" 
    "Yes?" 
    "Well, Duchess, for once, you're gonna be glad ya got big feet, I 
hope." Quickly, the two rabbits moved silently across the desert sands 
until they were right against the cracked wooden door of the shack. 
Following Bugs's lead, Honey placed her ears against the door, and 
peeked through the cracks. What she saw made her whiskers stiffen. 
    Bugs glanced at her. "Wait for it," he mouthed. "Just... wait for 
it... " Through the cracks in the door, they saw Buck, tied to a wooden 
chair on one side of a large table. The two goofboys were on either 
side of him. In front of Buck were two documents and a pen. 
    "Now, Buck," the short one said, "we're gonna give you one last chance." 
    "To do _what_?" 
    "To get out of here alive, that's to do what... and all you have to do is 
sign the deed over to us." In response, Buck spat defiantly in their faces. 
    "Way to go, Buck!" Bugs thought. 
    "I'm not gonna forget you did that!" the short one growled, slapping 
Buck as hard as he could, almost knocking him over. 
    From their vantage point on the other side of the door, both Bugs 
and Honey were becoming visibly angry. 
    "Why, those spud-mothering jackanapes!" Honey whispered. 
    "Shh!" cautioned Bugs, then added, "Dose spud-motherin' what?" 
    Meanwhile, Sam was getting impatient babysitting the horses. "Ah 
tell ya, Buster, this ain't no job fer me!... Buster?... Buster??... NOW 
where'd he git to?" 
    At that moment, unseen by the others, Buster approached the airship. 
Staring intently at the strange craft, he pulled out a small pocket 
screwdriver, climbed silently aboard, and went to work. 
    Back in the shack, Buck was continuing to be his defiant old self. 
"You two'll be sorry! Just you wait 'til my nephew Bugs gets here! He'll 
ring your worthless chimes... " 
    The large goon laughed. "I don't _think_ so, you stubborn old coot!" 
    "This nephew of yours," the short one said. "Is he sort of greyish, 
talks with a Brooklyn accent, calls everyone 'Doc,' wears white gloves, 
and used to make crummy cartoons in Burbank, CA.?" 
    "That's right," Buck declared, "and he's a-gonna... wait a minute...  
what do you mean 'used to... '?" 
    The short one laughed. "I hate to be the one to tell you this, but, 
heh-heh-heh, your nephew ain't coming. He had a little... accident." 
    "At about 10,000 feet over Piker's Peak," the burly one added. 
    Buck's eyes narrowed. "You're lyin', th' both of ya!" 
    "_Are_ we?" the short one asked, moving to the front of the table. 
    "Now?" Honey asked Bugs quietly. She had already guessed what Bugs 
had in mind. 
    "Not _yet_," Bugs whispered. "Wait 'til da other one gets in position." 
Honey noticed that Bugs had produced from who knows where a small set of 
screwdrivers and a can of 3-in-1 Oil (R), and was deftly removing the pins 
from the outside hinges, just enough so that they still held the door... just barely. 
    At that same time, Buster had rejoined Yosemite Sam. "Wa'al, where'd 
_YOU_ git to, critter?" 
    "Sorry, Sam, I had some... business to take care of," was all Buster would say. 
    "Wa'al... I hope ya washed yer hands when ya finished!" 
    Meanwhile, Bugs and Honey's gazes returned to the inside of the 
shack. As they continued peeking through the door cracks, they saw the 
short one reach into his jacket. 
    "If you think we're lying, Buck, then tell us where we got... THESE!" 
he said, throwing Bugs's white gloves down in front of the old Bunny. 
Buck's eyes widened when he saw them, then narrowed defiantly again. 
    "You could've got those anywheres!" he growled. 
    "I don't _think_ so," the large goon said as he rolled back the cuff 
of one of the gloves so that Buck could read the embroidered tag inside. 
    "'Presented to Bugs Bunny on the occasion of his 50th Birthday, with 
love from 'da joiks who woik for him' at Warne... '" Buck's bravado 
suddenly faded, and tears filled the old rabbit's eyes. "Then... then...  
it's true... Bugs is... is... " 
    "The word is 'dead'," the short one sneered cruelly. 
    On the other side of the doorway, Bugs was getting even angrier than 
before. "Why, dose... " he whispered. 
    "_Now_, Bugsy?" Honey whispered back, angry and impatient to get 
this rescue over with. 
    "Not _yet_. Da big one still ain't in da right place at da right 
time... " The two rabbits returned their gazes to the shack interior, 
where they saw Buck, a sad, defeated old rabbit. 
    "All... all right... if Bugs is gone... then I don't want the mine 
anymore. Gimme the pen... I'll... I'll sign... " 
    "Took you long enough," the burly goon said as he loosened one of 
the ropes around Buck's arms. Then he rejoined his shorter partner on 
the other side of the table so that he could witness the transfer of the 
mine to them. The other side of the table, of course, was directly in 
the path of the doorway of the shack. And on the other side of the 
doorway stood two incredibly angry rabbits. 
    As Buck picked up the pen with a shaky paw, he muttered, "Dam' ya 
both! I hope ya both burn in Hell for this!" 
    Honey followed Bugs's lead as he raised one of his large feet. 
    "_Now_?" she whispered, getting her foot in position. 
    "NOW!" Bugs shouted. At that signal, they kicked the door in as hard 
as they could. The sudden impact of the door colliding with the two 
goons who just happened to be in its path was devastating, at least for 
them, as the door rendered them temporarily unconscious (not to mention 
non compos mentis). 
    "Don't sign NUTHIN', 'Unk'!" yelled Bugs as he and Honey rushed in. 
    Buck couldn't believe his eyes. "BUGS! You're ALIVE!" 
    "So it would appear," he replied, as Honey began untying Buck. 
    The old grey hare noticed her, blinked twice, and finally said, 
"Honey? Is that YOU?" 
    The pretty grey fembunny smiled, and kissed him in the cheek. "Sure 
is, 'Unk'." 
    Buck stared momentarily at the well-developed girl. "My... you've 
GROWN some since I saw ya last!" he finally said, then added, "Didn't 
you used to be blonde?" 
    "Well, yes," she giggled, "I guess it has been a while. I have 
changed some since the last time we... " 
    "Excuse me, but can we have dis touchin' reunion later? We gotta 
vamoose before dese two bozos come to, which could be any second," 
snapped Bugs as he grabbed his prized gloves from the table, and he, 
Honey and Buck hotfooted it out the door. 

                              CHAPTER THIRTEEN: 

                     HOW ABOUT SOME HONEY WITH A KICK? 

    Running like anything, the trio made a mad dash for the waiting horses, 
with Buck joining his nephew on the black stallion. Upon seeing Buck, 
Yosemite Sam said, "Wa'al, Buck! How ya doin', ya old horse thief?" 
    "I've felt better, Sammy," Buck growled, "and don't call me 'horse 
thief'. Now, let's high-tail it outta here!" 
    Bugs was about to give the command for them to do just that when 
Buster interrupted him. "Hey, what's Honey doing?" 
    "Wha-?" Bugs said, turning around to see Honey running back into the 
shack as fast as her big feet would go. "Honey!" he shouted, "what da 
heck do ya t'ink you're DOIN'? Get BACK here!!" 
    But Honey didn't answer. She had something important to do. She ran 
into the shack so fast that she collided with the two goons who were 
just regaining consciousness. This, of course, knocked them silly again, 
to say nothing of knocking the wind out of Honey for a moment. Shaking 
her head to clear the cobwebs and cowbells out, her sharp eyes refocused 
on the table until she saw what she'd come back for. Unfortunately, 
she'd forgotten something: in her haste to get something important, she'd 
completely ignored the two goons. 
    As she reached for the objects on the table, she suddenly felt a 
very strong grip around her waist. It lifted her off the ground several 
feet, and then slammed her face hard against the table. Honey tried to 
scream, but a large, rough hand covered her face. She struggled to no 
avail, as she felt herself being turned around, raised even higher, and 
then felt the painful edge of the table against her back, as she was 
slammed repeatedly by the burly goon. Then, she felt herself being 
turned around again, and her face made contact with the table several 
more times. This was definitely not turning into one of Honey's good 
days, no question about that. 
    "I'll teach _you_ to play games with us, rabbit!" the burly goon 
yelled, as he grabbed her by the blouse forcefully, preparing to 
administer a final, fatal blow against the table. In doing so, however, 
her blouse ripped open, and she fell against the table. The "wanted" 
poster she'd hidden in her blouse fell to the floor, and was quickly 
snatched up by the short guy. However, the burly goon noticed the 
rabbit, who was arching her back in pain, and discovered something was 
quite different about this one. He looked at her, then at her shredded 
blouse which he still had in his grip, then back at her. "Hey!" he 
told his partner. "This is a GIRL!" 
    "So?" the short goon sneered. "Girls can be gotten rid of, too!" 
As the two moved in for the kill, Honey managed to put her pain and fear 
behind her long enough for "Self-Preservation Mode #1" to kick in-- 
literally. Being a Bunny, this move was instinctive, as Honey knew-- 
and hoped they didn't. Laying seemingly helpless on the table, she 
waited until they were just inches from her. Then, before either of the 
two goofballs knew what was happening, Honey drew back her large feet 
and in a split second, sent the two goons spinning into opposite corners 
of the shack with a powerful kick that knocked them out cold. 
   Hyperventilating and flushed with anger, Honey screamed, "NOBODY does 
THAT to me--NOBODY!!!" Fighting off her pain, she quickly regained her 
bearings. She picked the "wanted" poster up from off the floor, grabbed 
what she'd come in for from the table, and quickly tucked them into the 
waistband of her jeans. Her blouse, now ripped to shreds, she would 
leave behind for the goons as a memento. Taking a deep breath, she tore 
out of the shack like a scared rabbit--which, at that moment, she was! 
"BUUUUUUUGS!!!" she screamed, making a spectacular leap onto her horse. 
    "What da heck did ya t'ink you was... " Then Bugs's mouth dropped open 
for a moment, before he finally said "What da heck happened to your SHOIT?!?" 
    "Never mind that!" she yelled. "Let's get out of here! I'll get dressed 
later!" 
    Bugs shrugged. "Oh, well, if _I_ can go wid'out clothes... " he 
thought, and gave the command for the group to ride as fast and as far 
away as they could. 
    As Sam was about to get his horse going, he turned to Buster. "Uh... 
Buster... " 
    "Don't worry, Sam," he said confidently, a broad smile on his face. 
"Miss August taught me a little trick for this little guy. I'm not going to 
go through _THAT_ again, no SIR! You're not gonna catch ME saying 
'giddyap'... " 
    As Cyclone took off past the others, Honey--still hyperventilating 
and now topless--took off after him again. Buck turned to his nephew. 
    "Say, nephew... " 
    "Yeah, 'Unk'?" 
    "Who IS that little blue guy that just flew by us?" 
    "Oh, _him_?... Dat's da kid I wrote ya about." 
    "THAT'S Buster Bunny?" 
    "Yeah... (sigh)... dat's him." 
    Buck watched Buster flying away helplessly, with Honey in hot pursuit. 
    "Hmm... " he mused. "Kind of a show-off, isn't he?" 
    Meanwhile, back in the shack, the two goons were just coming to. 
    "Wha... what in the heck just happened?" the burly one asked, still 
dazed from the effects of Honey's fancy footwork. 
    The short one didn't answer right away, as was also still dazed and 
confused, although not for long. "All right," he finally growled 
angrily. "If this is how Buck wants to do this... " He looked around the 
shack. "Damn! She's got that 'Wanted' poster again! If she gets back to 
the law with that... " 
    "That's not ALL she got!" the burly one said, pointing to the bare table. 
    With an evil sneer on his face, the short one picked up a crate 
marked "HEAVY ARTILLERY!" 
    "Grab that other stuff!" he ordered, pointing to an even larger 
crate. "It's time to go rabbit hunting!" 

                                   000000 

    As the Looney riders made their way across the Gower Gulch desert, 
Bugs was still reprimanding Honey at the top of his voice, which echoed 
across the landscape. 
    "DON'T YOU _EVER_ PUT YOURSELF IN DANGER LIKE DAT AGAIN!!!" he yelled. 
    "Don't worry," she said nervously, "I _won't_!" 
    "Oh, quit the bickering in the ranks," Buck commanded. 
    "Buck," Buster asked, "where are we going?" 
    "Well, obviously, back into town, young'un!" 
    "We haven't exactly been keeping track of our actual mileage, Buck; 
just how far _is_ town from here?" 
    "It's almost 50 miles from here to the ecnter of Gower Gulch as the 
horse flies, Buster." 
    "Well," said Bugs, still upset with Honey, "I sure hope we got a 
good head-start on dose yay-hoos. Dey'll be comin' to eventually, and I 
ain't got but no doubt dat da foist t'ings day'll be lookin' for is us!" 
    "Nephew?" 
    "Yeah, 'Unk'?" 
    "Ain't nobody ever done told you that your grammar is hideous?" 
    "Only my gram'pa," Bugs smirked. 
    A scowl appeared on Buck's old face. "Hmm... remind me to have you 
disowned." 
    Meanwhile, Buster was scanning the skies with his trusty binoculars. 
    "Whatcha lookin' for, Buster, as if'n ah didn't know?" asked Sam. 
    "Well, while those two are playing 'Wordplay'," he replied, 
"_somebody's_ gotta keep an eye on the sky for... oh-oh... " Immediately, 
Bugs, Honey and Buck's whiskers began doing that rapid twitching thing, 
as the sound of a distant airship echoed around them. 
    "You spoke too soon," Honey said, scared as a scared rabbit could be. 
    "All right, let's get outta here!" Buck ordered, as the horses 
picked up speed. As they rode, something hot, heavy and fast flew by 
Sam, just brushing his mustache. Then, another... and another... and 
then a whole barrage of the objects whizzed by him. 
    "Hmm... flies is a-gittin' kinda thick around here for this time of 
year, ain't they, Buck?" 
    Buck trained his ears on the sound that was accompanying the flying 
objects. "Hey! Them ain't flies... " 
    "Dear Lord! They're SHOOTING at us!" Honey screamed. 
    "No kidding," Buster remarked sarcastically. 
    Bugs grabbed his binoculars, while Buck continued holding the reins 
of the black stallion. Bugs focused on the airship, and what he saw 
scared the wits out of him. 
    "YIPE! Dey've got dem a Gatling gun!" he yelled. His next words were 
drowned out by the combination of noise from the airship and the firing 
of the gun, which was rapidly spraying the area around them with deadly 
force. The group wasn't quite sure, but they thought they heard Bugs say 
something like, "RUN FOR YOUR EVER-LOVIN' LIVES!!!" Even if that 
wasn't what he said word-for-word, cusswords omitted, it seemed like the 
greatest idea since the birth of full animation. But no matter how hard 
or fast they rode, the airship was right on top of them. 
    "What'd they do, soup up the motor on that thing?" Buster asked, 
trying to be heard above the unending hail of bullets. Then, one of the 
bullets whizzed just between Buster's ears. "HEY!" he shouted. 
    "Buster! Are you hit?" asked Honey. Buster felt between his ears. 
    "No... they just parted my fur where it didn't need to be parted, 
that's all! Bugs, they're getting too close for comfort!" 
    "Well, ain't DAT da cliche of da year!" Bugs snapped. 
    "Come on, let's get out of here before their aim improves!" Buck yelled. 
    Meanwhile, back up in the airship...  

    "Good idea you had, souping up the motor on this thing," the burly 
one said, seated at the trigger of the Gatling gun. "You want I should 
keep shooting around them?" 
    The short goon was rubbing his jaw. "Tell ya what... aim for the 
girl. Just don't hit Buck." 
    "I thought the idea was just to throw a scare into them." 
    "It _was_, until that lousy rabbit kicked my fillings loose." 
    "Oh," the big goon said, then added, "You got fillings?" 
    "Just shut up and shoot... " 
    Meanwhile, down on the ground, our heroes (and one hare-oine) were 
literally riding for their lives, as bullets continued flying around 
them at an alarming rate. 
    "Bugs, either their aim is getting better, or we're slowing down!" 
Buster yelled. 
    "Frankly, junior, I'd prefer 'Neider of da above!'" Bugs shouted back. 
    "How are we ever gonna lose these turkeys?" Honey asked, fear 
clearly evident in her voice. 
    "Whut happened tuh your bravado?" asked Sam. 
    "I left it back in the shack along with whatever's left of my 
blouse," she replied, her face now starting to swell as a result of her 
full-frontal contact with the table at the hands of the burly goon. 
The group rode on past Piker's Peak, Lake Haveabathski, and terrain that 
no horse should ever ride on, but to no avail. The airship was gaining 
speed, and their aim was definitely getting better... unfortunately. 
    "We're DONE for, Nephew!" Buck declared. 
    "Not _yet_ we ain't! Dere's gotta be some way we can lose 'em... " 
   "An' ah thinks ah SEES it!" Sam shouted emphatically. "Look!" 
    "A... a cave?" asked Honey. 
    "That ain't no cave, Honey Gal, it's a... " 
    "A RAILROAD TUNNEL!" declared Buster. "That's GREAT! They can't 
possibly follow us in there!" 
    "That's the idee, whipper-snapper," gloated Sam. 
    "Hats off, folks, a GENIUS!" Buster shouted, as Sam led the way in 
as only he could: 

                "CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRGE!" 

    The two goons in the airship were taken by surprise by this move, 
especially since they had no more idea than the riders did where the 
tunnel would eventually lead out. But they were taken by surprise even 
more when the quiet of the desert was shattered by a loud echo from 
inside the tunnel: 

                "RE-TREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAT!!!" 
                
    The goons stared in open-mouthed amazement as the riders beat a 
hasty retreat out of the tunnel, with a train in rapid pursuit! Between 
the blasts from the train's air horns, Buster griped, "Hats back on, 
folks--a MORON!" 
    "Wa'al, tarnation, how wuz I ta know they wuz usin' thiss route?" 
Sam protested. 
     "Oh, for da sake of Shinola!" Bugs grumbled, leading the group off 
the tracks in the nick of time. But they were still no better off than 
they'd been before, as the airship's pilots had recovered their wits and 
began pursuing the group once more. If luck had been with the Looney 
riders before, it had now switched sides and joined the opposition. 
     As the goons continued firing on them, Buster yelled, "Bugs, we're just 
sitting ducks out here in the open... and I _don't_ mean Plucky and Daffy!" 
     "No kiddin', 'Blue Boy'," Bugs shouted over the constant whiz of 
bullets. "An' just how do ya suggest we get outta dis?" 
     "Bugsy, maybe we should split up," Honey suggested. 
     "What, after all we meant to each other?" 
     "No, I mean we should spread out! Haven't you noticed that they 
don't seem to have much range with that thing?" 
     Bugs hadn't considered this. "Hey, they _don't_ seem ta be able ta 
cover much area at dat!" 
     "Unless it's another trick," cautioned Buster. 
     "Well, we're just an easy target riding together like this! And it's 
a lot harder to hit four or five moving targets than it is one!" Honey 
Bunny asserted, bullets whizzing by her. 
     "It's worth a try," Buck agreed. 
    "Yeah," Sam added, "Ah knows _I_ ain't lookin' forward to bein' a 
Boot Hill patient!" 
    Another endless hail of bullets convinced Bugs that Honey's idea 
probably had merit. "Okay, ya talked me into it! You hoid da goil-- 
everybody _spread_out_! An' whatever ya do, don't lose sight of each 
other or you're dead!" Without wasting a second, the riders split up and 
rode off in four different directions. And for the time being, the idea 
was a good one, as it turned out the old Gatling gun, which was rusted 
at its mounting, did indeed have a limited range. 
    "Well, _now_ what?" the burly goon asked from his position behind 
the gun, an endless supply of cartridges at his feet. 
    "Just aim for one, so long as it ain't Buck," the short goon 
grumbled, his jaw still hurting from Honey's foot attack. "You know 
_which_ one. I'm tired of shooting to miss!" 
    On the black stallion, Bugs and Buck were leading the way for the 
others, who were riding well out of the range of the airship... they thought. 
    "I think it's working," Buck shouted. 
    "I sure hope so, 'Unk', but we ain't outta da woods yet! I just hope 
we can... "  And that's when the unthinkable happened. Another long, loud 
hail of bullets, and...  
     "AIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!" 
    The scream echoed across the desert and stopped Bugs right in his 
tracks. He turned the big black stallion around, and his eyes grew wide 
with terror. His scream drowned out everything else. 
    "NOOOOOOOOO!" he yelled. "HONEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYY!!!" 
    Meanwhile, back in the airship...  
    "Good! You got her!" 
    "Couldn't help it," the burly one replied, "I hit an airpocket." 
    "Whatever. It's just her bad luck. And besides, it's rabbit season. 
Who's going to miss one lousy rabbit?" 

                              CHAPTER FOURTEEN: 

               "BUSTER BUNNY SURFS... ER, _RIDES_ AGAIN!!!(?)" 

    Bugs just sat there in his saddle, stunned, unable to move, 
completely helpless to do anything to aid Honey, as her horse was now 
completely out of control. She began to black out, the reins slipping 
through her gloved paws, unable to hold on. And Bugs, Buck and Sam 
weren't even close enough to help her. 
    But Buster _was_. With a determined expression, he leaned forward in 
his saddle and said just one word to his Shetland Pony: 

                                 "Giddyap." 

    Once again, Cyclone took off like his name; but _this_ time, Buster 
was ready. With a tight grip on the reins, he pursued Goldebgirl across 
the desert, gaining on the horse rapidly. 
    "Okay, Sam," he thought to himself, "let's see if taking that 'Trick 
Riding Class' was worth it!" As he got closer to Honey's panicked horse, 
Buster stood up in his stirrups, then carefully climbed onto his saddle 
as though he were riding a surfboard, balancing himself with one hand 
still holding the reins. Honey had now lost consciousness completely, 
and was no longer in control of her runaway horse... and began slipping 
out of the saddle. 
    "Okay, Buster," the little blue bunny thought, "you may not hop very 
well... but let's see just how good you are at _jumping_!" Taking a deep 
breath, he got closer... closer... closer... and jumped. 
    "What's that little blue guy doing?" the burly goon asked. 
    "Showing off, probably," the short one replied. "Let him, for all 
the good it's going to do him. He won't have much time left for that 
sort of thing... " 
    Buster sailed from his saddle just in time to make a spectacular 
catch as Honey was falling off her horse. Grabbing her tightly around 
the waist, Buster landed in the saddle, righting the poor grey fembunny. 
Had this been an Olympic event, he would have scored a perfect "10", 
with an extra "10" awarded for bravery. Reaching around Honey's waist, 
Buster quickly retrieved the reins and brought the mare under control. 
While holding Honey for dear life--hers--Buster thought he felt 
something that didn't quite belong around her waist. But he had no time 
to think about what that could be; he was too busy looking at the large, 
ugly hole in Honey's left shoulder... what there was left of it. The 
wicked bullets had done their dirty work, completely shattering it. 
Buster fought the urge to be sick. There was no time for that. Then, his 
attention was drawn to a single bullet hole, located slightly lower, 
in the area of her...  
    "Oh, no," he gulped, "not THAT!" Quickly he turned Goldengirl around 
and made a mad dash back towards Bugs and Buck. 
    "Good boy, Buster!" said Bugs. "Dat was some ridin'... Buster? What's 
wrong, kid?" He noticed Buster was trying hard not to cry...  
unsuccessfully. 
    "She's in bad shape, Bugs," Buster sobbed. "She needs help... " 
    "What'd dey do to... " Then Bugs saw. "Oh, no... no... not Honey... " 
    At that moment, Yosemite Sam rode up. "Say, whatcha all just 
a-sittin' around heres for, ya... " Then he noticed the unconscious 
limp fembunny that Bugs was cradling in his arms, and what those goons 
had done to her. "... great horny toads... " was all he could manage. Buster
looked up at the hovering airship, and couldn't contain his anger. 
    "You murderous B*ST#RDS!!!" he yelled. 
    "Ah'm not a-gonna even ask HOW yuh pronounce THAT," Sam muttered, 
wishing for the first time that day that he'd remembered to bring his 
guns along. 
    "Buck! Buck Bunny!" the short one yelled through a bullhorn. Buck 
looked up and fired off a barrage of asterisk-filled words. 
    "You can run, Buck, but you can't hide! Sooner or later, we'll get 
that mine from you!" the short one said mockingly. "Now, why not make it 
easy on yourself? You don't want anyone _else_ to die, do you?" 
    "She ain't dead _yet_, you moiderous... " Bugs yelled angrily, 
cradling the helpless Honey. 
    "Buck," asked Buster, "isn't there _anything_ we can do for her?" 
    "We can try, young'un... but not _here_." Taking control of the reins 
on Bugs's black stallion, while Bugs held onto Honey on the Palomino, he 
gave the command for the riders to follow him. They made a mad dash 
across the desert with the airship taking up the chase again a few 
seconds later. 
    "Where are we headed, Buck?" Buster asked. 
    "To the one place we might be able to help her. It ain't quite up to 
your 'big city' hospital standards, I'll admit, but it's her only chance 
... maybe OUR only chance." 
    "Where?" Sam asked impatiently. 
    "Where else? The _mine_!" 
    "The mine?!? 'Unk', are ya sure ya wanna lead dose bozos dere???" 
asked Bugs. 
    "We've got no choice, nephew! Honey needs help _now_... and besides, 
they already know where the mine is! And get that look off'n your face, 
I don't have time to explain!" 
    "You want I should fire at 'em again?" the burly one asked, his 
trigger finger at the ready. 
    "Nah. They're heading right where I _hoped_ they would, for all the good 
that's gonna do them! Now, you placed the stuff where I told you, right?" 
    "Yeah... " 
    "Good," the short one replied, slowing the airship down to "Hover" again. 
    "Hey, why'd you do that?" 
    "To give them a chance to get good and nervous, that's why. You see, 
when you get nervous, you make mistakes. And in _their_ case, when they 
make a mistake, they're not going to live to regret it. We can afford to 
be patient. We have the one commodity they don't." 
    "Yeah? What's that?" the burly one asked. To answer his question, 
the short goon took a small black object with several colored buttons on 
it out of his jacket, and fingered a clear plastic hinge that covered a 
large yellow button marked "DETONATE." 
    "Time," he sneered. 

                              CHAPTER FIFTEEN: 

                         A MATTER OF LIFE OR DEATH 

    Bugs was a nervous wreck as he and Buster waited inside the "Lost 
Rabbit Mine." Off to one side of the entrance, in a well-recessed 
portion, Buck and Sam were in a room that had been set up as an 
emergency first-aid station. Honey was unconscious, laying face down on 
an old hospital bed. It wasn't the Mayo Clinic, but it would have to do. 
Buck and Sam worked feverishly, removing all the bullets from Honey's 
shattered shoulder as best they could, dropping each one into a large 
metal bowl as they found them. Each time they did, the sound of lead 
clanging against metal made Bugs cringe that much more, fearful that...  
no, he mustn't allow himself to think that. She _had_ to pull through. 
Honey meant way too much to him, even if he'd never actually come right 
out and told her so. He found himself wishing that he'd never once 
raised his voice to her, lost his temper with her (especially since 
she'd never deserved it), taken advantage of her generally sweet 
nature... or for that matter, ever taken her for granted. Maybe, if it 
wasn't too late, he could still right those wrongs of the past 30 
years... if only there was time...  
    Buster looked at his mentor, trying to understand what he was going 
through. "If anything like that ever happened to... " he thought; and 
that was when a mental image so horrible, so unthinkable, and so 
unwanted intruded into Buster's thoughts and would not leave, no matter 
how hard he tried to shut it out. The scene he pictured was of Buck and 
Sam in the makeshift operating room; only when they stood back from 
their patient, it wasn't Honey's face he saw. It was...  
    "Babs... " he gasped. 
    "Huh?... did... did ya say somet'in, Buster?" asked Bugs, clearly 
distracted. 
    "No... I was just thinking out loud... " Buster said quietly. 
    "I... I can't lose her, Buster... I just can't... " Bugs looked like he 
might break down and cry at any moment. "What's takin' 'em so long? Why 
don't they... " At that moment, Buck and Sam emerged, looking tired, 
exhausted... and sad. 
    "Honey... how is she... can I see her?" Bugs pleaded. 
    "Hold on, Bugs," Sam said softly. 
    "Nephew," Buck began, "Honey's in worse shape than we thought. We 
got out all the bullets we could. Her shoulder's all but gone... " 
    "Oh, no," gasped Bugs. It was a good thing he was already sitting 
down. In a second, he'd _need_ to. 
    "I know a doc that can do the kind of reconstructive surgery she'll 
need, but she's lost a lot of blood and the wound may have become 
infected. We dressed it as best we could, but her only chance for 
survival is to get back into town as quickly as possible," continued Buck. 
    "Her... only chance?... Whaddya mean, 'Unk'?" 
    Buck sighed. This was not going to be easy for him to say, especially 
when it concerned someone he thought as much of as he did Honey. "There 
was one bullet that strayed... right near her heart. I'm sorry... " 
    When Bugs heard that, he almost fainted. 
    "Bugs!" Buster yelled, catching him in mid-fall. 
    "I can't believe dis," Bugs said, dazed. "Dis is a nightmare... " 
    "And the hell of it is, it's not over _yet-," Buck said sternly. 
"Like I said, if we can get Honey to the hospital in time, she might 
 pull through. But first, we've gotta get away from those guys up there, 
and _that's_ not gonna be easy!" 
    Bugs took a deep breath. "Look, I _can't_ lose Honey, understand? I 
_love_ dat goil!" 
    "We all do," said Sam quietly. 
    Buster glanced outside the mine entrance, looking through his 
binoculars. "Vultures," he said seriously. "Just look at them out there. 
That's what they are... just plain vultures. Why don't they make their 
move and get it over with?" 
    "'Cause they're playing the old 'cat and mouse' with us, that's 
why," Buck spat contemptously. "They figure they can wait until we make 
a mistake. _Any_ mistake." 
    "Wa'al, they're a-makin' me a might nervous," admitted Sam. 
    "I'll bet dat's just what dey're countin' on," Bugs said angrily. 
"If we get nervous, we might make mistakes... " Their thoughts were 
interrupted by a weak voice just a few feet away. 
    "... Bugsy... " 
    "Go to her, Bugs... she needs you," Buster said. 
    Swallowing hard, Bugs went slowly into the makeshift 'med'room and 
approached Honey's side. She looked frail, fragile, too delicate to 
live. Her shoulder was dressed as well as Buck and Sam could manage, 
and her face was now showing the effects of her terrible ordeal in the 
shack. Her breathing was labored, and she was in obvious pain. She was, 
however, determined to speak. 
    "Bugsy... where... where am... how?" she gasped. 
    Bugs fought back the tears he felt were sure to come. No, he had to 
be strong, for her sake. "You're safe, Hon... you're in 'Unk's' mine." 
    "The... mine?... but how... how did I get here?... " 
    Bugs managed a smile. "Does da name 'Buster Bunny' ring any bells?" 
    "B..Buster... ?" 
    "Yeah. Takin' Sam's 'Trick Ridin'' Class paid off after all." 
    Honey tried to smile. "Buster... Buster's... a good boy... " she gasped. 
    "Da _best_," Bugs affirmed. By this time, Buster, Buck and Sam were now 
gathered beside Bugs. Through heavy-lidded eyes, Honey smiled to see them. 
    "I... I'm sorry to... put you all through... " 
    "Don't apologize, Honey Gal," Sam said softly. "It ain't yer fault. 
Just... just save yer strength... you're a-gonna need it." 
    "We'll get you to a hospital as soon as we can, child," Buck assured her. 
    "Buck... will... will I... " Honey's voice was barely a whisper now. 
    "Will you what?" asked Buck, not caring to hide his tears. 
    "Will... will I ever... play the saxophone?" she finally asked. 
    "I don't see why not, child," Buck replied, stroking her feverish 
forehead. 
     "That... that's great, Buck... I never _could_ play it before... " 
    "Liar," Bugs smiled as he kissed her gently. With a great deal of 
effort, Honey raised her good right arm and held Bugs's hand. 
    "Bugsy... " 
    "Yes, Duchesss?" 
    "Am... am I going to die?" Honey's question, though not totally 
unexpected, was enough to start the tears flowing from Bugs at long last. 
    "Wha... what's this... tears? For me? No, Bugsy... you've got to be 
strong... for all our sakes... " Honey was having trouble getting the 
words out. Bugs forced himself to smile, for her. 
    "All right, Baby Doll... and ta answer your question... not if _we_ 
can help it, ya won't." Bugs kissed her one more time. 
    "You... you're so good... to me, Bugsy... " she whispered, as her eyes 
closed, and her grip on Bugs's hand relaxed as her arm suddenly dropped 
to the side of her bed. 
    Bugs began to panic. "Honey?" he asked, then screamed her name again. 
    Buck quickly placed an ear to her chest. Finally, raising his head, he said 
quietly, "It's okay, Bugs. She's unconscious, but still alive...  _just_." 
    "Come on, Bugs, there's nothing more we can do for her here," said 
Buster, literally dragging Bugs away from the stricken fembunny's side. 
    "We... we gotta take care of her," protested Bugs. 
    "And we will, but first we've gotta take care of those... those... " 
Buster was searching for a way to describe those two goofballs without 
resorting to doing a Fowlmouth impression; however, nothing would come 
to mind. 
    "Buck?" Sam asked as he and Bugs's uncle left Honey's room. 
    "Yeah, Sammy?" 
    "Just whut did ya mean they knew where this mine is?" 
    "Well, as near as I can figure it, they saw me in the claims office 
filing the claim for this place... " 
    "Wait a minute, 'Unk', I t'ought ya said in your telegram dat I was 
da only one ya told about da strike! What gives?" Bugs asked angrily. 
    "And you were. I run the claims office around here, in case you 
forgot... " 
    "Forgot? I never _knew_!" 
    "Well, you know now, nephew. Anyways, they had to have seen me 
there; there was no other way they coulda known. They followed me to the 
mine, and then to my shack in that weird contraption of theirs. They 
bided their time, and then they confronted me and demanded I turn the 
mine over to them or there'd be trouble. I told them what they could do 
with each other, and they said they'd be back. Gave me 24 hours to 
change my mind, they said. So, when they were out of sight, I rode back 
into town and sent ya that telegram." 
    "Where'd you get that 'Wanted' poster, Buck?" asked Buster. 
    "Hm?... oh, _that_. I recollected seeing their faces somewheres 
before, and my havin' been in the sheriff's reserves, I still held onto 
copies of 'Wanted' posters of honyocks that ain't been caught yet." 
    "Well, that explains the poster, all right," Buster said. 
    "Yep... I may not always remember their names, but I _never_ forget a 
face... especially if it's plastered on a 'Wanted' poster!" 
    "Well, while you're tyin' up loose ends, 'Unk', dey're out dere now; 
an' after all dat's gone on today, I ain't got no doubt in my mind dat 
dey ain't gonna let none of us get outta here alive!" Bugs said sharply. 
    "Unless we come up with a plan," offered Buster. 
    "Yeah, that's whut we need, all righty, a plan!" Sam said, then 
looking crossly at Buster, growled, "Ya _got_ one?" Buster had to admit 
that, at that moment, he couldn't think of a thing. "Ah didn't _think_ 
so," Sam grumbled. 
    "Look, kid, I t'ink it'd be better if ya left da plannin' stuff to 
da grownups," Bugs suggested. Buster tried to protest, but they would 
hear none of it. 
    "I can't _wait_ to see what they come up with," he muttered to 
himself sarcastically. "So far, they've been batting .000!" 
    Buck, Bugs and Sam went into a lengthy skull session, arguing 
heatedly among themselves as to what was the best way to deal with those 
yahoos. Buster slipped away unseen, and re-entered Honey's room. He 
stared at her for a good long time. She was still out of it, her right 
arm dangling at the side of her bed. Gently, Buster lifted it and placed 
it back at her side. 
    Even in the state she was in, considering all she'd been through in 
the last hour or so, she was still beautiful. Buster couldn't help himself.
Stepping on a nearby stool, he leaned over and kissed her cheek. 
    "We'll get you out of this, Honey... I promise," he whispered. As he 
stepped off the stool and was about to leave, he was stopped by a faint 
voice. 
    "Bus... Buster... ?" He turned around and saw Honey trying to open her
eyes. 
    "I'm sorry, Honey," he said, returning to her side. "I didn't mean 
to wake you. Just go back to sleep, okay?" 
    "No... that's all right... " she whispered. "Wh... why did you... do 
that?" 
    "I... really don't know, Honey... I _had_ to, I guess." 
    She tried to smile. "Well... thank you... that was sweet... Buster?" 
    "Yes?" 
    "I... I'm scared... " Buster took her right paw in his. 
    "I know... so am I." 
    "Buster... if... if I don't... make it... " 
    "Don't _say_ that, Honey! You'll pull through... " 
    "I wish... I had your confidence... but I heard Buck and Sam... talking 
about... about that bullet near my heart... " 
    "Honey, _please_," Buster said as tears welled up in his eyes. 
    "No, Buster... let me finish... " she gasped, determined more than 
ever to get her thoughts out while she still could. "If I don't... make it...
promise me something... promise me... you'll look after Bugsy. I know he 
tries to put on this big, brave macho act... but that's _all_ it is...  an 
act... " 
    "Well, if anybody would know, it _would_ be you," Buster said softly. 
    "... and... he'll need someone... to look in on him from time to time...  
if I... if I... " 
    "Don't talk like that, Honey! You're not gonna die, okay? We'll get you
out of this... " 
     Honey smiled. "All right... (sigh)... I'm... so tired... why is it 
so... cold in here?" 
     "What do you mean, 'cold'? It's the middle of Aug--" Buster stopped 
in mid-sentence. Removing one of his gloves, he felt Honey's forehead. 
    "What do you mean, 'cold'? It's the middle of Aug--" Buster stopped 
in mid-sentence. Removing one of his gloves, he felt Honey's forehead. 
She was sweating profusely, and felt chilly. "No... no... don't you_dare_ 
do this to us... to Bugs... you _can't_ leave us, Honey!... You've got a 
long-term contract! You don't want WBL on your back, do you? Hang 
on, please!" Buster was panicking, tears rolling down his face. 
    "I'm... so tired... " she said weakly. "Buster... " 
    "Yes?" 
    "I... have to tell you... something... " 
    "Yes, Honey?" 
    "I... love you... " 
    "I know," he sobbed quietly, "me, too... " 
    "And... there's something... _else_... you have... a... right... to...
know... " 
     "What's that?" But Buster never got an answer, as Honey's eyes 
closed. He hoped it wasn't for the last time. He kissed her cheek and 
left her to blissful unconsciousness. Maybe it was better this way, 
he thought; at least for now, she wasn't feeling any pain...  
    When Buster rejoined the grownups, he was not surprised to discover 
that they weren't even aware he'd been gone. And he was also not 
surprised to discover that they were still arguing among themselves, 
still unable to come up with a workable plan to deal with the airborne 
goofballs. No, Buster wasn't surprised... more like "extremely 
disappointed." 
    "I don't _believe_ this!" he finally exploded, unable to hold back his 
frustration. "We've got those two goofballs out there waiting for us to 
give up, poor Honey's practically at death's welcome mat, and not one of 
you can think of _any_ way to get out of this mess???" He shook his head 
in disgust. "I've got two words for this--UN-believable!" 
    "Look, kid," Bugs said angrily, "it ain't like we ain't _tried_ ta come 
up wit' somet'in, ya know! We ain't been sittin' on our tails playin' 
pinochle, or... " Then the full weight of what Buster had said about Honey 
hit Bugs like a ton of anvils. "Wha... what did ya say about Honey?" 
    "I just looked in on her, Bugs... we're losing her." 
    "No," he said quietly. "It... it can't be... " 
    "I'm sorry, Bugs," Buster sighed, walking away with a heavy heart, 
still trying to sort out his feelings for the wounded fembunny, and 
wondering to himself just what it was she'd wanted to tell him. He was 
so wrapped up in his own thoughts that he wasn't paying attention to 
where he was going. Bugs took one look in Buster's direction, and 
suddenly his eyes grew wide with fear. 
    "BUSTER!" he yelled. "DON'T _MOVE_!" Immediately, Buster froze in 
his tracks, as Buck and Sam ran to Bugs's side. 
    "Why am I standing like a statue?" Buster asked nervously. 
    Buck looked at the small cylindrical object with a flashing red 
light on one end that Buster was just inches away from stepping on, 
and saw that it bore the name, "ACME (tm) LITTLE BIG BANG (sm)." He 
didn't waste any time. 
    "Because you're about to step on a blasting cap, _that's_ why!" 
    "Buck, not that it's any of my business, but... why would you leave 
these lying around?" Buster asked with a mixture of sarcasm and panic in 
equal amounts. 
    "I didn't... that's not one of mine!" 
    "It's _not_?" Buster asked, still posing like a statue, as Buck reached 
down to pick up the offending object. 
    "Buuucck... " Buster said nervously, as Bugs and Sam crouched low and 
covered their heads with their arms. 
    "'Discouragin' word' pantywaists," grumbled Buck, picking up the 
cap as though it were just a stone in the road. 
    "BUUUUUU-CCCK... " Buster whined. 
    "Oh, be quiet, young'un," Buck snorted, looking the cap over from 
one end to the other. "Nope," he finally decided, "t'ain't one of mine," 
he said, casually tossing the thing over his shoulder. 
    "BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCK!" 
Buster screamed, as the cap hit the ground... and nothing happened. 
Buster let out a heavy sigh, just before he fainted. 
    "Hmph!" Buck snorted again in disgust. "Nephew, I thought you told 
me this Buster kid had nerve!" 
    "No, dat ain't what I wrote ya," Bugs replied, "what I said was dat 
kid's pretty noivy sometimes!" Bugs had no room to talk, his own nerve 
having just taken a left turn at Albuquerque. When he was able to 
breathe again, he picked up the cap and began playing catch with it. 
"So... dis t'ing's a dud, right?" 
    "Nope, it's _live_, all right," Buck assured him. 
    " 'yipe', in lower case," Bugs said, dropping the cap. Sam was crouching 
even lower, as the cap rolled towards his feet and struck his boots. 
    "Mama," Sam whimpered. 
    "Aw, don't be such wussies," grumbled Buck. "These Acme (tm) Little 
Big Bangs (sm) are triggered by electronic signals of some kind." 
    Buster recovered his wits when he heard that.  "Hey, that must be 
how they blew up their hideout from... the... air. . . oh, ship!" The blue
bunny turned white as a sheet. "Buck, is that the only one here?" 
    "Don't know, young'un, why?" 
    "Call it a 'rabbit hunch', but if those goofboys followed you here, 
and the airship was nearby when they exploded their hideout... " 
    Suddenly, EVERYBODY caught on. Cautiously, they began exploring 
the mine, looking for suspicious little red lights. 
    "Hey, here's one!" Bugs said as he moved on down the mine tunnel. 
    "Holy smokes! Here's another!" bellowed Sam, a little further down. 
    "And... Good Lord! Here's a whole BUNCH of 'em!" Buck declared from 
even further down the tunnel. 
    "Oh, great!" Buster said nervously. "This mine is MINED!" 
    "It sure is," said Buck. "And we'd better DO somethin' about it... " 

                              CHAPTER SIXTEEN: 

                        THE "LITTLE BIG BANG" THEORY 

    Buck reached into his pocket and pulled out a weird little device, 
with several flashing lights, a direction finder, an LED readout, and a 
loud beeping sound. "I always knew this thing'd come in handy someday," 
he said. "Come on!" 
    With that, using his device to guide them, Buck led the group around 
the mine, gathering up the Acme (tm) LBB's (sm) wherever they found 
them... and as it turned out, there were a lot of them to be found. Since 
they  could only be triggered electronically, they were in no immediate 
danger; but they also knew that scenario could change at any moment, if 
the two flying goons decided to push the right button...  
    "So, you gonna blow 'em all to smithereens?" the burly one asked. 
The short one fingered the pocket detonator, rubbing his thumb over the 
clear plastic hinge that covered the "DETONATE" button. 
    "No, not just yet... I'll give Buck just one more chance to sign the 
mine over to us... THEN, I'll blow 'em all to smithereens. That's just 
the kind of guy I am." 
    "There, is that _all_ of them?" 
    "I sure _hope_ so, Buck," Bugs said wearily, "I can't t'ink of any 
place in dis mine we ain't looked." 
    "... (cough)... I never knew (cough) being a miner could be such dirty 
work (cough-cough)... " Buster gasped, dusting himself off as best he could. 
    "Where'd ya think th' phrase 'filthy rich' came from, varmint?" Sam 
asked. "Say, Bucky, turn that thing on again, would ya? If there's any 
more that we missed... " 
    "Good as done, Sammy, but don't call me 'Bucky', okay? I hate that 
worse than 'horse thief'!" Buck turned on the amazing little gizmo. It 
lit up like a Christmas tree, emitting the loudest beeps possible. "Yep,"
Buck said, "... we missed some." 
     "Does it say where?" asked Bugs. 
     Buck and Buster studied the indicator intently. "Hmmm... it's 
pointing to... " Buster suddenly stopped in mid-sentence. "OH, _NO_! 
BUGS! SAM!" 
     "What?" they asked. 
     "Hurry!" Buster yelled, as he ran into the little room where Honey 
Bunny was still unconscious, blissfully unaware of what was happening 
around her. Bugs stopped in his tracks. 
    "Oh, no!" he gasped. "Not _here_, too!" 
    "Quit talkin' and start a-lookin'," Sam ordered. Immediately, the 
group tore the first-aid room apart, while Honey remained oblivious to 
it all (which is not that hard to do when you're in her condition). But 
though the group looked high, low and everywhere else, they couldn't 
find those remaining caps. And Buck's gadget was beeping and flashing 
like crazy. 
    "Where in the... " Buster started to ask. Then, his eyes narrowed. 
Running under Honey's bed, he stopped and looked up slowly, and saw 
just what he'd been afraid of seeing: the entire bottom of Honey's bed 
was literally lined with enough blasting caps to create a new Grand Canyon. 
    "Bugs... " he said, motioning his mentor to join him. "They're 
hee-ere... " 
    Bugs took one look, gulped, and said quietly, "Good Lord!" Taking 
deep breaths, he and Buster worked quickly, dismantling the deadly 
mini-mine field. 
    "Not ta _my_ goil, ya don't!... " Bugs muttered. "How ya comin', kid?" 
    Buster snatched the last cap from the bedframe. "Got it! Buck?" 
     "I'm already on it, Buster," the old rabbit replied, running the 
weird little device over the bed. "So far, so... " He was interrupted by 
the insistent "beep-beep-beep" of the indicator. Bugs stood up when he 
heard it, forgetting for the moment that he was still under the bed, 
banging his head against the frame. 
    "Ow!" he yelled. This aroused Honey from her deep sleep. 
    "Wh... wha... who... " she tried to say. 
    "Sorry, Hon," Bugs said, rubbing his head. "Didn't mean ta wake 
ya. Buck?" 
    Running the device over the bed, the loud beeps told Buck what he 
was afraid of. "It's right under her pillow," he replied quietly. 
    "Yipe... " Bugs repeated. 
    "Wh... wha's... going on... ?" Honey asked groggily. 
    "Sh," cautioned Bugs, carefully sliding his paw under her pillow, 
and deftly removing a string of what he hoped were the last of the 
goons' deadly explosives. Buck turned on the device again, and the group 
all waited breathlessly for the "all clear" signal. Immediately, a small 
door opened up on the thing, an animated glove appeared, giving the "OK" 
sign, and the electronic beeps played "Be Kind To Your Web-Footed 
Friends," before quickly shutting down. 
    "That's quite a 'hand'-y little gadget," Buster punned as the group 
let out a collective sigh of relief. Bugs leaned over and kissed Honey, 
who still--mercifully--had no idea as to what had been going on. 
    "W-wha... " she tried to say, still weak from her injuries and forced 
slumber. 
    "It's okay, Baby Doll," Bugs reassured her. "We got 'em all." 
    "G-got... what... all?" 
    "Bugs," Buster warned, "I don't think it's such a great idea to tell 
Honey she was nearly blown up in her own bed." 
    Honey's eyes were now wide-open. "N-n-nearly WHAT???" Then she 
passed out again. Bugs looked at Buster sternly. 
    "Oh, way to go, Mr. Mouth!" 
    "Oops... sorry," Buster apologized. 
    "Say," Sam suggested, "our collective butts ain't outta the fire 
yet! What do we _do_ with these things?" 
    "Yipe!" Bugs said for the third time that afternoon. "I forgot dese 
t'ings are still live!" 
    Buster carefully examined one of the caps. "Hey, get a load of this! 
It says here, 'To defuse an Acme (tm) Little Big Bang (sm) Blasting Cap, 
simply immerse in water.' Buck, have you got a large supply of water 
around here?" 
    Silently, Buck pointed to an indoor outhouse. 
    "Oh, fine. Just what we need--'toilet humor'!" Buster griped, as he 
bravely carried the collected caps into the outhouse with as much 
dignity as Buster could muster (nice rhyme, eh? ;)). Silently, he closed 
the door behind him; then after a few seconds, yelled "Hey, Buck!" as 
he proceeded to dump the explosives into their final watery resting 
place. 
    "Yeah, Buster?" 
    "What's it mean when these lights turn green?" 
    Buck's eyes grew wide. "It means, GET OUT OF... " 

               "KA-BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!" 
               

                             CHAPTER SEVENTEEN: 

                       "THE SIGNPOST UP AHEAD READS, 
                     'YOU AIN'T IN THE ZONE NO MORE'!" 

    "BUSTER!!!" yelled Bugs, as the resulting explosion completely 
demolished the outhouse. As the smoke and dust cleared, a much worse for 
the experience Buster emerged on shaky legs, his red sweater now just a 
bunch of large holes held together by thread, with a toilet seat around 
his neck. 
    "Buster?" asked Bugs as the black-and-blue bunny staggered towards 
his mentor. "Are ya all right? Say somet'in'!" 
    "When I said I wanted 'ringside seats,' Sir, this is NOT what I had 
in mind!" Buster replied, taking one more step before falling face-first 
in the dirt, the toilet seat still around his neck. 
    "Poor kid," Buck remarked sadly... then to his amazement, Buster 
shook it off, emerging with a clean red sewater, no smudge marks on his 
face... but still wearing that toilet seat. 
    "'Ringside seat,' get it?" Buster grinned, pleased with this lousy pun. 
    Buck scowled. "Is _that_ the sorta stuff my nephew's been teachin' ya?" 
    "Well... yeah," Buster said, finally getting rid of the toilet seat. 
    "You ever think of goin' to a _real_ school?" 
    "Are you kidding, Buck? Real schools aren't as much _fun_ as Acme 
Loo!" laughed Buster. 
    Buck just shook his head. "Show business _is_ the devil's tool," 
he grumbled. 
    Buster ignored that remark. "Anyway," he smiled, "it's nice to know 
that _some_ things still work outside of 'The Zone'." 
    "Outside the _what_?" 
    "'The Zone'," Buster replied. "It's where... " And then Buster 
proceeded to explain the concept of toon reality vs. real reality, and 
the workings of the tooniverse in general, to Buck, who nodded as if he 
understood all this pretentious crayola...  
    Meanwhile, back in the you-know-where-by-now...  
    "You hear something?" 
    "Like what?" 
    "Like you detonating that stuff?" 
    "Oh, shut up and drive. There are only two ways to detonate those 
caps. One is this thing, which I ain't triggered yet; and the other way 
is if they come in contact with the collective fumes from an outhouse. 
Look around you... do you _see_ any outhouses around here?" 
    "No... " 
    "All right, then." The short one sighed. "I think we've kept Buck 
waiting long enough." 
    "Are we gonna let him go after we get the mine?" 
    "There's a real old saying that I just made up... 'No witnesses, no 
problem.'" And with that, the airship began its final journey towards 
the 'Lost Rabbit Mine.' 
 
                              CHAPTER EIGHTEEN: 

                         "BUSTER STYLE? WHAT'S THAT?" 

    "They're coming!" Buster yelled as he ran into the small room 
where the others were keeping a vigil by Honey Bunny's side. 
    "Sh!" cautioned Buck. Bugs's expression gave him away, tears 
rolling freely down his face. 
    "I'm... I'm losin' her... " he said quietly. 
    "No, not now," said Buster as he joined the others, who were just as 
worried as he was. 
    "Could... could youse guys leave us alone, please?" Bugs pleaded. If 
these were to be Honey's last moments on this earth, he wanted to be 
alone with her, to tell her all the things he'd never told her, not that 
she'd ever hear them. Solemnly, Buster, Buck and Sam left the two of 
them, filing out of the "med" room, finally gathering by a large mine 
cart near the tunnel entrance. 
    "Whut... whut wuz you a-sayin', Buster?" asked Sam. 
    "I said they're on their way," he replied, leaning against the mine 
cart. Buck took a pair of binoculars and stared off into the horizon. 
The airship, although still several miles away, was bearing down in 
their direction. 
    "All right," Buck mused, "now is NOT the time to panic." 
    "Yeah," Sam agreed, "after all, we got rid of all them there 
blastin' caps... " 
    "But they've still got the Gatling gun," Buster reminded him. 
    "Party pooper," muttered Sam. 
    "All right," Buck said after a momentary pause, "NOW is the time 
to panic." 
    "Ya know," Sam said as he turned toward Buster, "you been a-gripin' 
about _us_ not comin' up with a plan... whut have _you_ got between 
your ears?" 
    "Don't rush me, I'm thinking," Buster replied, leaning harder 
against the mine cart, which rolled away quickly, causing him to fall 
and land hard on his elbow. "OW!" 
    "You okay, Buster?" asked Buck as he helped him up. 
    "Why they call this a 'funny bone," I'll NEVER know," Buster said in 
great pain, rubbing his elbow. He glared at the cart. "Of all the things 
in the world to put wheels on, why do they put... t h e m . . . o  n 
.  .  .  m  i  n  e  .  .  .   c   a   r   t   s   .   .   .  ?  " 
A half-crazed, half-serious, all-determined smile suddenly appeared on 
the blue bunny's face. "Heyyyy... " 
    "Is he all right?" asked Buck. 
    Sam grinned. "Yep--ah _knows_ that look! Ah've a-seen it too many 
times! Ya got an idee, Buster?" 
    "I sure _do_, Sammy! Buck, see if you can tear Bugs away from Honey 
long enough for him to hear this... " 
    "He ain't gonna like that, young'un." 
    "I know, but it's important!" 
    "You gonna tell me what you got in mind before I intrude on his grief?" 
    "Buck, what's the one thing those goons want most?" 
    "Haven't you been payin' attention, kid? They want the mine!" 
    "All right... let's give it to them!"
    "Um, Buster," said Sam, "ah'm beginnin' ta think you've been out in 
the desert too long without a good sunscreen!" 
    "Sam, you misunderstand. I don't mean let's give 'em the mine... I 
mean, 'let's GIVE it to them... BUSTER STYLE!'" 
    "I don't get it," Buck said. "What's 'Buster Style'?" 
    "You'll find out," Buster replied with a look of fierce determination,
"... and so will THEY!" 

                              CHAPTER NINETEEN: 
 
                     "OH... SO _THAT'S_ 'BUSTER STYLE!'" 

    "You're gonna do WHAT?" Bugs asked as the group rejoined him in the 
"med" room, as he had absolutley refused to leave Honey's side. 
    "You heard me the first time, Bugs." 
    "Yeah, Buster, I hoid ya--I just wanted ta make sure that _you_ hoid 
ya! What you're plannin' is screwy, dat's  all--just plain screwy!" 
    "Have you got a _better_ plan, ya long-eared galoot?" challenged Sam. 
    Bugs had to admit that he hadn't. "All right, Buster," he sighed, 
"I'm wit' ya!" 
    "Good! 'Cause I'm gonna need you for the finish! Buck, can you and 
Sam load these carts up with rocks?" 
    "Does a rabbit eat carrots--don't answer that," said Buck. 
    "Okay, I won't. Will they be able to roll fast when loaded?" 
    "They should, Buster, I oiled the wheels a couple of day back." 
    "Well, grease 'em again, just to be sure. Now, I'll need one of the 
carts here in the mine entrance, and the other out there by that steep 
incline. Then, I'm gonna need four blocks of some sort, with some hooks 
in each end, and enough rope to... " And the group listened intently as 
Buster proceeded to explain the rest of his "screwy" plan. 
    Bugs appeared lost in thought as he listened, then said, "Ya know 
somet'in? Dat plan ain't screwy--it's CRAZY!!! But den again, it just 
might woik!" 
    "It's _got_ to, Bugs, because we don't have any other options!" 
Having said that, Buster ran to one of the carts and crawled under it. 
Then, satisfied that it was large enough for his purpose, he crawled out 
the other side. "Hmmm... that should be enough clearance, all right. 
Buck, how fast will one of these things roll?" 
    "That depends, young'un... how fast would ya LIKE them to roll?" 
    "Very fast." 
    "They can do that, no problem," Buck said, handing Buster four 
short ropes, which the blue bunny examined for signs of wear, fraying, 
or other weaknesses. There could be no margin of error. Everything had 
to go exactly as Buster had planned... EXACTLY. 
    "That's all I needed to know," Buster replied, looping the ropes around 
his waist. "Now, gang, when this thing goes down, everything's gonna 
happen fast... and I DO mean 'FAST'!" Sam, you know what you have to do?" 
    "Ah sure does," he laughed. "Ah'm a-gonna ENJOY this!" 
    "All right. Buck, you're gonna have to improvise your lines... " 
    "Don't worry 'bout _me_, Buster. I can be a fast talker when I have to 
be." 
    "Good, because you _will_. Bugs, are those blocks ready?" 
    Bugs finished twisting the last metal hook into the end of the last 
block. "Ready an' waitin', junior. Ya want 'em now?" 
    "Not yet." Buster took a look at Bugs's handiwork and gave him a 
"thumbs up," and took a deep breath. "Okay, take your places. Those 
goons'll be here any minute." 
    "Don't worry, Buster, we know every part by heart!" replied Bugs. 
    "All right. Are there any last minute questions?" asked Buster. A 
frail voice answered him from nearby. 
    "... Buster... ?" 
    "'Scuse me, folks--beauty calls!" Buster said as he dashed into the 
"med" room to Honey's side. "Hey there, glad ya decided to stick around." 
    "So... am I... " Honey whispered. "I... can be a... fighter when I...  
have to be." She took a quick breath. "... Buster... I... heard your 
plan... it's risky... it's dangerous... and it... might not work... " 
    "I know, Honey, but it's the only plan we've got." 
    "Oh... well... in that case... do it... I have faith in you... " 
    "Thanks, Hon, I needed that," Buster said, kissing her cheek for 
luck; either that, or he just liked kissing her. She smiled. 
    "Oh, Buster... if I were only 15 years younger... I could... go for...  
a guy who kisses like that... if you didn't... already have Babs... " She 
closed her eyes one more time, and whispered, "... don't let me down... " 
    "Never," Buster whispered back. 
    "Here dey come!" yelled Bugs. Buster left Honey to dreamland again, 
and dashed back to the mine entrance. The others were all ready and 
waiting for the action to begin. Sam, however, seemed to be looking all 
over his person for something. 
    "What's up, Sam?" asked Bugs. 
    "Anybody here see mah pocket screwdriver?" 
    "Oops! Sorry, Sam, I had to 'borrow' it for a while. I had some work 
to do," Buster said, explaining to Sam what he'd done with it while Bugs 
and Honey were rescuing Buck. As Sam pocketed his tool, he listened 
attentively. 
    "Yuh _didn't_!... say, that IS good!" he laughed, as Buster took his 
place under the first mine cart. 
    "What'd he do wit' your screwdriver, Sammy?" 
    "You'll find out, Bugs," said Buster, "but now, as a certain rabbit 
once sang, 'On with the show, this is it!'" 

                               CHAPTER TWENTY: 
 
                 "DOES THE NAME 'HANNIBAL' MEAN ANYT'ING??" 
 
    "Buck! Buck Bunny!" the short one with the bullhorn yelled from the 
deck of the hovering airship, as it came within a few feet of the mine 
entrance. Buck took a deep breath. That was his cue. 
    "Yeah? What'dya want, as if'n I didn't know?" 
    "You know what we want," the short goon replied. 
    "'Discouragin' words'," Buck snorted. 
    "Such language!" taunted the burly one. "Working hard, or hardly 
working?" he asked, as he noticed Buck was busy pushing a heavily-laden 
cart out of the mine with a great deal of effort, the wheels creaking 
and squeaking with each push. Actually, Buck was faking it--the cart 
rolled along the tracks from the mine effortlessly. It was Buster, 
safely hidden from the goons' view, clinging to the bottom of the cart 
who was making those noises. 
    "Man," he thought, "am I ever glad I decided to take those 'Vocal 
SFX' classes after all!" 
    "Hey, Bucky, you shouldn't exert yourself like that!" the short goon 
laughed. 
    "Since when did _you_ ever care about my health, and don't call me 
'Bucky'," the old rabbit challenged. 
    "Since we don't want you dropping dead of a heart attack before we 
get the deed to the mine, _that's_ since when... say, where are the rest 
of... ?" the burly one asked. 
    "Your lousy aim was better than we thought," Buck replied grimly. 
"Seems ya wiped out everybody else. I'm the only one left, you lousy 
scumballs." 
    "'Scumballs'?" the short one laughed. "Sticks and stones can break 
my bones... " 
    "I sure _hope_ so," thought Buster, as Buck brought the cart to a 
stop. Carefully, the blue bunny burrowed under the cart, which Buck had 
parked near a steep incline. 
    "Wait a minute," the burly one asked. "They're ALL dead?" 
    "Yeah, thanks to you," grumbled Buck. 
    "You feel like joining them, Buck, or do you want to live to enjoy 
the next sunrise?" asked the short one. 
    "Oh, what's the use?" he sighed, playing this scene for all it was worth. 
    "You mean... ?" the short goon asked, trying to hide his excitement. 
    "I'm a rabbit of my word," sighed Buck sadly. "With everybody gone, 
I don't want the mine anymore. You two have made it more trouble than 
it's worth. Drop your anchor... I'll sign... " 
     The two goons exchanged high-fives as the burly one said,"All 
right--one anchor, coming down!" 
    "You are sooooooo... right!" Buster thought as he finished digging, 
then crouched in the hole below the mine cart. The burly goon dropped 
the anchor over the side of the airship, and was understandably 
surprised as it kept on dropping... right off its chain... which followed 
the anchor over the side to the ground below. 
    "What th--?" the short goon asked bewilderedly. 
    Buster smiled. "That's _one_," he thought to himself. 
    Bugs and Sam watched this from inside the mine entrance, and Bugs 
was just as puzzled as the goons. 
    "What da heck happened?" Bugs asked in amazement. 
    Sam chuckled. "Two words, varmint--'Buster Bunny'." He then explained 
to Bugs what Buster had told him about his activities with the 
screwdriver while Bugs and Honey had been rescuing Buck. Bugs's look of 
amazement turned into a smile of pride. 
    "Dat's me boy!" he laughed. 
    "But wait, there's _more_!"  Sam said. "Wait'll ya get a load of
_this_!... "
    "Hmm," observed Buck, "looks like you dropped anchor, all right." 
    "How the hel--oh, never mind," grumbled the short goon. "Lower the
ladder!" 
    "One ladder, coming over the side!" replied the big goon. Buster 
couldn't resist laughing to himself in his below-ground hideout as, 
sure enough, the rope ladder he'd ingeniously loosened did just that, 
joining the anchor and chain on the ground. 
    "That's... _two_," he smiled. He loved it when a plan came together. 
    Buck looked at the fallen rope ladder, then up at the airship. 
"Hmm," he mused, "tch-tch-tch... looks like this just isn't your day,
boys... " 
    The two goons just stared at each other in disbelief. This 
_couldn't_ be happening! Then, manning the Gatling gun, the burly one 
yelled, "All right, Buck, I don't know how you done it but I know you 
done it!" 
    Buck adopted the look of innocence. "With me tied up? How?" The 
big goon tried to think of a response, but had to stop. This thinking 
stuff was beginning to make his head hurt. 
    "This is ridiculous!" the short goon cried nervously. "Just when 
we're so _close_!... " 
    "That's it, just keep getting nervous," Buck thought to himself. 
"When you get nervous, you make mistakes." Clearing his throat, he 
yelled up to the goons. "Well, if you two ain't coming down right away, 
I think I'll get back to work. Let me know if you change your mind... " 
And back to the mine entrance he went, whistling a happy tune all the 
way. The rapid fire of the Gatling gun forming a close circle around 
Buck stopped the old rabbit in his tracks. "Oh, well, who wants to 
work, anyway?" he asked nonchalantly, turning around and heading back 
towards the mine cart, still whistling a happy tune. 
    Meanwhile, the engine on the airship was making some very strange 
noises. The burly goon turned to his short partner. "Hey, have you 
checked the fuel gauge on this thing lately?" 
    "Checked it? I don't even know where it is!" replied the short one. 
Maybe souping up the motor on this thing hadn't been such a hot idea, 
after all... but they were darned if they were going to let Buck know that. 
    Buck, meanwhile, was getting impatient. "Well, are you two coming 
down or ain't ya? It's not like I got all day down here!" 
    "Bring her down," the short one commanded. "We can jump over the 
side when we get to 2 1/2 feet off the ground." The burly one grabbed 
the control lever and shifted it, only to have the lever come off in his
hand. 
    "UH-ooohhhhhh... " he said. 
    "'Uh-ooohhhhhh'? Vas ist das 'UH-ooohhhhhh'?" the short goon asked. 
When he saw the lever, he said, "OH-ooohhhhhh... " 
    "That's... _three_," Buster thought, grinning his biggest 
carrot-eating grin; but he knew better than to get cocky. This thing 
wasn't over _yet_. "Okay, Buck," he whispered, "that's your cue!" 
    Smiling wickedly, Buck yelled up to the goons. "Hey! I got an idea! 
You guys got a rope on that thing? You can tie one end to the ship, and 
I'll secure the other end to this cart!" 
    "Well, why don't you secure it to the anchor?" asked the short one. 
As if in reply, the ground beneath the anchor, chain and rope ladder 
suddenly caved in, sending all three objects far below into an empty 
shaft that Buck had told Buster about. 
    "It's 'Shaft 'n Bake,' an' ah helped!" Buster drawled from his 
hiding place. He was enjoying the heck out of this! 
    "Uh... okay," the burly one said nervously. "Is that cart stable?" 
    "As hard as it was to push this thing? Yeah, it's stable, all 
right," Buck lied. "But if you're worried that it might roll down a hill 
or something, I can secure the wheels... " 
    "You DO that, Buck," the short goon replied, his finger now on the 
trigger of the Gatling gun. "Just don't forget... we're armed, so... no 
tricks, rabbit!" 
    "Yeah, yeah, I know," grumbled Buck, "tricks are for kids. Let me be 
right back." Heading to the mine entrance, he slipped out of their field 
of vision. Bugs and Sam handed him the four wooden blocks. Buck examined 
them closely. "Hmm, now, lemme see... these hooks are supposed to face 
the inside of the cart, right?" 
     "Yeah, 'Unk', an' hurry," Bugs said impatiently, looking towards the
room where Honey Bunny lay. "I got me some unfinished business wit' dem two!" 
    "Keep your pants on, Bugs. You'll get your chance," Buck said as he 
returned to the cart. The two goons watched as Buck carefully placed 
the blocks next to the wheels. What the goons _couldn't_ see, of course, 
was Buster, who was quickly looping and securing the ropes from around 
his waist through the hooks in each end of the blocks. 
    "You two ninnies find a rope yet?" Buck yelled. 
    "Yeah," the short one yelled back, securing one end of a long rope 
through a metal loop at the front of the airship. 
    "All right, lower away!" Buck yelled. Immediately, the other end of 
the rope came down. Quickly, Buck tied it to the cart. "What's that old 
saying about 'give 'em enough rope'?" Buck mused. 
    Watching all this from the mine entrance, Bugs turned to Sam. "You 
ready?" 
    Sam took his position behind the second mine cart. "Heh-heh... ready 
an' a-waitin', varmint!" he laughed. 
    "Okay, all secure!" Buck yelled. The two goons couldn't believe it. 
At last, the mine was going to be theirs! 
    "All that silver and gold!" gloated the short one. 
    "Yeah, I can't wait to get to some exotic beach locale and feel sand 
between my toes!" the burly one laughed. Then, their celebration 
abruptly stopped, as a thought occured to the short goon. 
    "Hey! We don't have a way to get down!" 
    "Oh, don't worry about _that_ little detail," grinned Buck. "You two 
DO know how to scale a rope, don'tcha?" The two goons nodded nervously. 
Actually, they didn't, but with all that silver and gold at stake, 
they'd become quick learners if they had to. "Good," Buck continued. 
"Then you two can come down any time you like." 
    "Like... now?" the goons asked. _That_ was the cue Buster had been 
waiting for. 
    "Like... _NOW_!!!" Buck yelled. Quickly, Buster pulled on the ropes, 
bringing the four blocks into the hole with him, as Buck kicked the 
heavily-laden (and _extremely_ well-lubricated) mine cart down the steep 
embankment. With the rope attatched to one end of the cart, and the 
other end attatched to the airship, this had the immediate effect of 
ripping the old craft apart right out from under the feet of the two 
goons. Buster was right--when things began happening, they were indeed 
happening fast! 
    As the airship dismantled into thousands of pieces, the goons looked 
up to see the large balloon attatchment serenely float away to another 
county... just before the deck gave way. As they fell, they looked down 
to see Yosemite Sam pushing another cart under them... one loaded with 
very sharp rocks. Buster quickly secured the wheels, burrowed his way 
back to the mine entrance, and joined Bugs inside. They both watched as 
the two goons landed sharply, quickly, and most painfully on the rocks 
(so to speak). 
    "_That's_ for tryin' to hoodwink me out of what's mine!" Buck yelled 
as the goons fell. 
    "An' _that's_ fer pushin' dee-fenseless rabbits off'n uglier than 
sin airships, ya ornery galoots!" Sam asserted as they landed. 
    "Defenseless rabbits?" Buster asked. "Bugs, you're about as 
defenseless as a porcupine in a nudist colony!" Smiling at his mentor, 
he said, "Bugs... they're all _yours_!" 
    "T'anks, kid," Bugs grinned as he raced out of the mine. The two 
goons were still in the cart, dazed, confused, bewildered, and very 
deservedly the worse for the whole experience. But their problems were 
just beginning, as a very angry Bugs Bunny wound up his fists like 
airplane propellers. 
    "... An' DIS is for what you two joiks did to my Honey Bunny!" he 
shouted. 
    Still dazed, the two goons asked weakly, "Honey Bunny? Who's HE?" 
They never got an answer, as Bugs tore into them like a rabbit 
possessed. 
    Off to one side, Buster, Buck and Sam were observing all this with 
just a little sadistic glee. Finally, Buster said, "You know, I've 
_heard_ of 'righteous anger,' but I never thought I'd ever live long 
enough to _see_ it!" 
    "Hmm... his paws are gonna be a-hurtin' some by th' time he gets 
through with them," Sam mused. 
    "Yeah," agreed Buck, "but knowing my nephew, he'll say it was worth it." 
    "Yep," Buster said, "there's nothing wrong with well-applied 
gratuitous violence when it's done by an expert." 
    At that very moment, a by-product of Bugs's outrage came flying 
through the air and landed at Buster's feet. 
    "Well, looky here! A cell phone!" smiled Buster. He picked it up and 
handed it to Buck. "You know what you can do with it." 
    "Sure do, young'un... and watch your mouth!" Buck replied, dialing 
the sheriff's office. "Hello, Nate? Buck... BUNNY!... oh, nothing much. 
Say, can you do me a big favor? Yeah, send a chopper down to the 'Lost 
Rabbit Mine'... no, it ain't no campfire legend, it's real enough, all 
right... it's about 35 miles from the center of town... yeah, I'll send up 
a flare... and you'd better send a paramedic flight here pronto. We got 
us a girl who's in pretty bad shape!... yeah. See you in a few, Nate. 
Bye." Buck turned to Sam. "Inside the mine entrance, you'll find a flare 
gun. Bring it here, would ya?" 
    "Okay," Sam said. "Ya want some flares with that?" 
    "Jolly joker," grumbled Buck. Buster tugged on his jacket. 
    "Buck, can I see that phone? There's a call _I_ have to make!" he 
said, remembering what Bugs had told him about "someone special," and 
something that Honey had told him earlier. Dialing the out of state 
operator, he made the connection to Babs's number. After a few quick 
electronic rings on the other end, he heard...  
    "(click)... Hello?" 
    "Harriet? It's Buster. Is Babs there?" 
    "Yeah... " 
    "Put her on, please." A momentary pause, and then...  
    "BUSTER BUNNY! WHERE ARE YOU?? YOU REALIZE YOU STOOD ME UP?? WE HAD A
DATE TODAY... " 
    "I know, Babs,and I'm sorry, but something big came up... " 
    "Yeah, I'll just _bet_! Who is she?" Babs asked suspiciously. "And 
where in Acme Acres are you calling from? You sound like you're talking 
on a cell phone in the desert!" 
    "I _am_, and I'm not in Acme Acres! I'm calling from Gower Gulch... " 
    "Gower Gulch?" asked Babs. "Oh. come _on_, Buster! Porky made that 
place up!" 
    "Oh, no he didn't, Babsie... it's _real_, all right! Hang on a sec...  
THAT A-WAY, BUGS! GIVE THEM ANOTHER KICK IN THE HEAD!! 
... now, you were saying, Babs?" 
    "'Bugs'? Buster... WHAT is going on?" 
    "Where do you want me to start? With Bugs's Uncle Buck getting 
kidnapped, Honey B. getting shot, or two goofboys getting the jacktar 
beaten out of them by somebody who knows how?" 
    "Honey got shot? Oh, Buster... is she... " 
    "I hope not, Babs. Anyway, the paramedics should be here shortly. 
Look, I'll tell you all about it when we get back to Acme Acres!" 
    "You'd _better_... " warned Babs. 
    "Oh, and Babs?" 
    "Yeah, Buster? What?" 
    Buster took a quick breath, and said, "I love you." Silence on the 
other end, and then...  
    "(THUD!)... " 
    "Hello? Hello? Babsie?... " 
    "Buster?... " 
    "Yeah, Harriet?... " 
    "What happened? Babs just _FAINTED!_ What did you say to her?" 
    "The truth... I guess that's why she didn't believe it!" Buster 
laughed. The sound of approaching helicopters got Buster's attention. 
"Oops! Gotta run, Harriet! Catch you later!" 
    "Yeah, but Buster... " 
    "CLICK!" 
    "Here they come!" yelled Buck. Sam quickly fired the flare gun as 
the two choppers, one white, and the other blue with the emblem of the 
Gower Gulch Sheriff's Office on it, appeared over the horizon. 
    A satisfied smile was on Buster's face as he made his way back into 
the mine. Now, if only Honey was still alive to hear all that he had to 
tell her...  


                             CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE:

                         "HERE'S THE BIG WIND-UP..."

    "Mr. Bunny?... Mr. Bunny?... we _do_ have to get her to the hospital... " 
    "Huh? Oh, yeah... sorry, Doc," said Bugs as he finished kissing 
Honey's forehead. It was hard to kiss her lips with an oxygen mask over 
them. The grey fembunny was strapped to a stretcher, with iv's in her 
arm. She looked tired, pale, but to Bugs, she was the most beautiful 
girl in the world. And the best part was, she was alive. 
    "Mmmmph... Bugmmms?," she tried to say. 
    Bugs smiled. "Yeah, Honey, we _got_ 'em... Buster's plan woiked like 
a charm!" 
    "Bmmtr'ph a ghhd bhh," she mumbled groggily. 
    "You're right," Bugs agreed. "Buster's a good boy." 
    "The _best_," Sam and Buck concurred. 
    "Aw, shucks," an embarrased Buster grinned, humbled by all the 
praise he was getting. "'Twern't nothin'!" 
    "Mr. Bunny... " 
    "Oh, yeah, right," Bugs said. He kissed Honey one more time, then 
turned to the medics. "Be careful how ya handle her, Docs... dat's 
precious cargo you're carryin'!" He wasn't sure, but Bugs thought he saw 
a smile in Honey's eyes as the paramedics loaded her into the white chopper. 
    In the meantime, the sheriff had some alarming news for Buck. 
"Um, Buck?" 
    "Yeah, Nate?" 
    "I'm afraid we're going to have to let these guys go." 
    Buck was livid. "You WHAT?!?!" 
    "Yeah. They claim they were just sightseeing, and you and your 
friends destroyed their chartered airship." 
    "Of all th' rackin' frackin'... that's B*LL^&*#!" Sam yelled. 
    "I'm not even gonna ask how you pronounce that," said a disappointed 
Buster.
    "Nevertheless," sighed Nate, "you have no proof that they tried to 
get your mine. No deed, no 'transfer of ownership,' no 'Wanted' poster 
like you claim... nothing!" 
    "Didn't you send out deputies to look in the shacks like I told 
you?" asked a frustrated Buck. 
    "What shacks, Buck? We looked... there's nothing there!" 
    "Of all the... 'discouragin' words'... " grumbled Buck. The two 
goofboys laughed to themselves, pleased that they'd left nothing behind 
to incriminate them. Suddenly, a thought occured to Buster. 
    "Hey... I wonder if... yeah, that's _GOT_ to be... HOLD THAT CHOPPER!" 
Buster yelled, suddenly running to catch up to the medflight. With a 
mighty leap, he grabbed onto the door of the departing helicopter, 
pounding frantically. "Bring it back down! Bring it down!" he yelled. 
    "What th--?" the pilot yelled. "Hey, kid, get off of here!" 
    "Set this back down!" urged Buster. 
    "I can't _do_ that! We've got to get... " 
    "Then let me in! It's important!" The urgency in Buster's voice was 
enough to convince the pilot that something indeed was up. Quickly, the 
door of the chopper slid open, and Buster hurriedly made his way to 
Honey's side, where he began lifting one side of the blanket covering her. 
    "Hey, what do you think you're doing?" yelled one of the paramedics. 
    "If I'm right, saving the day, that's what!" Buster said, remembering 
feeling something strange and out of place when he'd rescued Honey on 
her runaway horse. "It should be... right about... HERE!" he said, reaching 
inside the waistband of Honey's jeans and pulling out a neatly folded group 
of papers. "Honey, are these what I _think_ they are?" Buster asked. Honey's 
eyes confirmed his suspicions, as the blue bunny quickly looked the papers over. 
    "You beautiful rabbit," he said softly, then yelled, "HONEY BUNNY, 
I _LOVE_ YOU!!!" as he kissed the fembunny's forehead, and then added as 
an afterthought, "Just don't tell Babs, okay? She tends to get jealous!" 
    Honey's eyes told Buster she was laughing like heck. 
    "Okay, guys, you can let me off here, my work is done!" Buster said. 
The pilot maneuvered the chopper over the area where Bugs, Buck, Sam and 
the sheriff were standing. The door slid open, and Buster leaped down 
into the waiting arms of Bugs. 
    "Hey, Buster, what da heck was da idea?" asked Bugs. 
    "Sorry, Bugs, no time to explain," the blue bunny replied, as the 
sheriff was about to unlock the goons' handcuffs. "Sheriff, wait!" 
Buster said breathlessly. "I think you'll be needing these!" He handed 
the papers to the lawman, who looked them over carefully before handing 
them to Buck. 
    "Do these papers look familiar to you, Buck?" the sheriff asked. 
    "They sure DO! Where'd you get these, Buster?" 
    Buster smiled. "Do you remember when Bugs and Honey rescued you?" 
    "Yeah... " 
    "And do you remember Honey running back inside the shack? She 
wouldn't have risked her neck going back in there unless there was 
something important that was overlooked! And three guesses what it was!" 
    Suddenly, a light dawned on Bugs. "So _dat's_ what she went back in 
dere for! I've underestimated dat goil!" 
    "An' you was worried about yer precious gloves!" chided Sam. 
    "Well, Nate, you _wanted_ evidence, by thunder, you've GOT it!" 
declared Buck. 
    "Damn that rabbit!" growled the short goon. "I knew we should've 
killed her when we had th--" He never got to finish the sentence, as 
Bugs gave the two goons just one more righteous roundhouse in the 
bazoos. They fell down like trees in a forest. 
    "NOBODY says anyt'ing like dat about MY goil--NOBODY!" Bugs yelled. 
    "It's contrary to due process, but... they deserved that," Nate mused. 
     "Ya know, nephew, ya really oughta marry that gal. She's too good 
to lose," said Buck. 
    "She's da _best_, all right," Bugs replied. 
    "No question," agreed Sam. 
    "Say, sheriff, is there gonna be room in that chopper for all of 
us?" asked Buster. 
    "No... why?" 
    "Well, then, just go back into town without us... _we'll_ take these guys in!" 
    "Eh, Buster," asked Bugs, "WE'RE gonna take 'em in? Do ya t'ink dat's wise?" 
    Buster smiled. "Wise? No. But there's one more thing I just _gotta_ 
do. Sheriff, you can ride shotgun on 'em if you like." 
    "Try and stop me," Nate said. 
    "All right," grinned Buster. "Saddle up, men!" 
     "Buck, are you gonna let this kid give you guys orders like that?" 
the sheriff asked. 
    Buck just grinned. "Nate, after what he pulled off today, this kid 
can do anything he _wants_ to! You heard him... SADDLE UP!" 

                                   000000 

                                  EPILOGUE:

    "Come on, c'mon, pick up dose feet! What are ya, toitles or 
somet'in?" commanded Bugs. 
    "Yeah..yuh'd think 20 miles is a long way tuh walk!" Sam barked. 
     "Besides," Buck taunted, "ain't _you_ the guys that said you wanted 
to feel _sand_ between your toes, hmm?" 
    "Ouch!... yeah," griped the burly goon, "but I meant on the beaches 
of Cozamel!... OUCH!!... darned cactus... " 
    "Oh, quit your bellyaching," Buster said, with the two goons 
securely cuffed and tied to the saddle of his Shetland Pony. "The 
sheriff'll give you back your shoes and socks when you get to jail, 
won't you, sheriff?" 
    "I'm thinking it over, don't rush me," Nate mused, riding Honey's 
golden mare and keeping a watchful eye on the two troublemakers. 
    The cell phone in Buck's jacket pocket rang, and the old grey hare 
answered it. "Hello?... Bugs Bunny?... yeah, he's here... hold on... it's 
for you, nephew." 
    "T'anks, 'Unk'," Bugs said, taking the phone. "Hello, it's your 
quarter, start talk... yeah?... uh-huh... she did, huh?... sigh... no, dat's 
all right, Doc, you guys did da best ya could... no, I understand 
... yeah... no, I'm sure dey'd wanna know... an'... t'anks, Doc... " Bugs 
handed the cell phone back to Buck. He wasn't smiling. 
    "Nephew?" 
    "Dat... dat was da hospital... " Bugs said quietly. 
    Buster and Sam read the expression on Bugs's face. 
    "Oh, no," whispered Buster. Bugs... don't tell us... " 
    Bugs looked solemnly at the group. "Yeah, I'm afraid so... " Then, he 
broke out into a one size fits the whole Universe carrot-eating grin. 
"... She's gonna make it." 
    "All RIGHT!!!" Buster shouted happily. 
    "Varmint, that's the best news we coulda heard all day!" Sam declared. 
    "Will she be well enough to testify against these two?" asked the sheriff. 
    Bugs laughed. "Hold on, Nate, she ain't even outta da hospital yet! 
Let her recover foist!" Bugs turned serious. "An' when she _does_, I 
ain't got no doubt dat she will!" 
    "Yep, that's thu kinda gal Honey is, all right," Sam said. "Straight 
arrow all the way! And we'll be right there with her!"
    "I _still_ say you oughta marry her," grumbled Buck. 
    Bugs appeared reflective. "Ya know, 'Unk', I might just _do_ dat at 
dat... after all, she ain't gettin' any younger!" he laughed. 
    "Look who's a-talkin'," Sam said under his breath. 
    "What was dat?" asked Bugs. 
    "Nothin' complee-mentary," Sam replied. 
    "You'd better not ever let Honey hear you say things like that, 
Bugs," Buster laughed. 
    "OW!... lousy cactus!" grumbled the short goon. "This walking bit is 
taking forever!" 
    "Yeah," agreed the burly goon. "At this... OUCH!!!... rate, it'll 
be... MIDNIGHT before we get into town!... OUCH!!!" 
    Buster and the sheriff looked at each other. "Well, Buster, what do
you make of this?" 
    "Well, sheriff, I've never heard of felons in a hurry to get to 
jail," replied Buster, "but if the _really_ want to get there a.s.a.p., 
hey, NO PROBLEM!" Bugs, Buck and Sam all exchanged knowing smiles. They 
could afford to smile... _they_ knew what was coming. 
    With a devilish grin, Buster leaned forward and whispered just one 
word in his pony's ear: 

                              "Giddyap." 

    As Cyclone took off like the wind, dragging the two schnooks behind 
him over cactus, barbed wire fences, gopher holes, extremely sharp 
rocks, mudholes, etc., Buster was flying horizontally, holding on to the 
reins and laughing all the way. 
    "Man, I just LOVE flying!" he yelled happily, as the group headed 
into the sunset, and to jail, with Bugs getting in the last word:
    "(Sigh)... .Quit showin' off, Buster!... " 

                  000000 THE RACKIN' FRACKIN' END! 000000 

END CREDITS: 
Story written and adapted by Lee M. Withers, and based in part on an old 
Bugs Bunny comic book story of about 30 years ago (and no, I don't 
remember the title or issue number, so don't ask). 
Directed by: ALAN SMITHEE 
Saxophone on the soundtrack played by: HONEY BUNNY (Yeah, she pulled 
through.) 
Product placements courtesy of the makers of: 
CERTS 
3-IN-ONE OIL 
VISINE 
CRAYOLA 
SHINOLA SHOE POLISH 
(What ever happened to that stuff?) 
THE ACME (TM) CORPORATION 
BUGS BUNNY'S PLANE PROVIDED BY THE CESSNA CORPORATION 
GATLING GUN APPEARS THROUGH THE COURTESY OF KEVIN MICKEL'S 
WILDEST DREAMS 
Special thanks to THE GOWER GULCH FILM AND CARTTON COMMISSION, 
J. DANGLE PUNKLEY, CHMN 
*-"Open The Door, Richard" Lyrics & Music (c)1948, Jack McVea. 
Pub. Unknown. 
Extra special thanks to Kevin Mickel for editorial help on this story, 
The Tri-Cities Free-Net for giving me the facilities to do this, and for 
making it harder than it looked (I won't tell you why). And also thnaks 
to The Pasco Public Library for computer facilities. 
Story (c)1996, 1997 Lee M. Withers. All LOONEY TUNES and TINY TOON 
ADVENTURES characters, names, and related indicia are (c)1996, 1997, 
Warner Bros., Inc., a Time-Warner/Turner Entertainment Company. No claim 
is made by the author on the copyrights held by Time-Warner/Turner and 
Amblin Entertainment, a unit of Three Moguls and a Mule. 
EXECUTIVE PRODUCER: GUESS. 
END CREDIT: 
MARY MELODY (SHRUGS, SIGHS) "ANOTHER CAMEO, ANOTHER PAYCHECK." 
(Steven hands her a check, which she drops. It bounces all over the place.) 
MARY (SCOWLING): "NOT _FUNNY_, STEVEN!" 
FADE TO BLACK.