by DubDub
posted 11/25/2002
I'll admit, I was one of the "Oh, God, what the hell are they doing!" folks when I watched the final scene from "Rain of Fire." I really don't like the idea of Connor and Cordy (ew!) and when I first watched it, it didn't seem to make any sense to me at all.
But a funny thing happened. I started reading all the posts in the various forums by people who have been so appalled by the ending of the episode and there was a strangely familiar ring to them. Deja vu started tickling my brain. How could a character I love act this way? Why would the writers have them act this way? Anger. Denial. It seemed like I'd heard (and felt) it all before.
There have been a lot of comparisons made between Cordy's sleeping with Connor and Angel's sleeping with Darla. Both being acts of despair that would have consequences far beyond what the participants ever envisioned. And I think there is a great deal of validity to this. Angel's actions all the way back in Season 2 are at the root of so much that has happened since.
What I started to realize is that there are also some amazing parallels between what has happened with Cordy (and the fans' reaction to it) and what happened with Wesley at the end of last season (and that reaction).
"Huh?" you say? Okay, here's my reasoning:
(And, BTW, I have no wish to open up any flame-type arguments. So, please, realize I'm stating my opinion. I'm not arguing right or wrong, or even morality - just recognizing the inherent fallibility of human beings, and trying to see just a little into the minds of TPTB at ME. [Lord, help me!])
Because of a series of events leading up to both acts, and the emotional strain both Cordy and Wes were under, they had both reached a point of desperation. Wes believed, because all the signs pointed to it, that Angel was going to kill his son. The situation seemed hopeless. What he did, however misguided you might believe it to be, he did out of that desperation because he was trying to protect the people he thought of as his family, even at the cost of his own happiness or even his life. The results were disastrous. Predictably to us looking on from the outside, but not from Wesley's point of view.
I don't think anyone would argue that Cordelia has suffered some pretty heavy emotional stress herself recently. Now, because of the weight of that stress, adding in the obvious severity of these most recent apocalyptic visions, Cordy reached a point of complete desperation. Yes, she's lived through apocalypses before, but this time, the power of the visions and her own emotional state have caused her to give up hope. She truly believes, because all signs point to it, that none of them are going to survive. She decides her feelings don't matter. She realizes Connor's attraction to her and thinks at least she can give him one thing that he would never have otherwise. I'm not going to argue here whether this is right or wrong. As has been pointed out, we have the advantage of knowing that there will be a tomorrow, but apparently Cordy doesn't believe that is the case. However misguided we may believe her actions to be, from her point of view, she is acting out of love for Angel and for Connor - for the people she thinks of as her family. And the results will most certainly be disastrous.
I have come to believe that the writers really do have a method to their madness. (And I truly hope my faith is justified!) For one thing, I think it's precisely their intention to give us these emotionally charged situations, to put each of these characters we love, who have been proclaimed (ad nauseam) "champions" into a situation where they have committed an act, with the most noble of intentions, that backfires on them.
Putting Angel aside for the moment, it started with Wesley kidnapping Connor, but you could also apply this idea to the situation with Gunn over the professor's death. I have no doubt he believed what he was doing was to save Fred from an act she could not live with. Again, I'm not talking right or wrong, but trying to see things from the character's point of view. Wes and Gunn have now committed morally questionable acts, all in the name of love, but the consequences of which have torn them apart from those very people they were trying to protect. Cordelia's case is just the most recent. Every one of these actions have been purposely placed in that gray area, all acts with serious emotionally weight that have shocked us as viewers and are highly controversial.
But, as I said, there is a point. And it all comes back to Angel. He is the focus of the show; it is all about his journey - in my opinion - toward humanity. Angel's original purpose in life was firmly based on his seeking redemption. He has in his past committed acts that were easily and clearly labeled unforgivable. Most of these happened when he was a soulless vampire, but Angel with a soul has tread some morally ambiguous ground himself. And, deserving or not, he still feels the weight (as pointed out in RoF by Cordy's reminding him of Angelus' reign of terror) of what he did to all those people while he was Angelus. Now his closest friends and his own son (whose act of revenge against Angel was prompted by his love of his "father" Holtz) - the people he loves - have done things that some people consider "unforgivable acts." It is my belief that, as a part of Angel's journey, he has to recognize them for what they are - errors in judgment, actions brought about by desperation, by misguided judgments - in other words, a part of what it means to be a flawed human being.
What is unforgivable? Where do you draw a line that cannot be crossed? The boundaries are definitely blurred in these instances. We all have our own moral compasses, and sometimes we are forced to weigh the balance between holding onto anger and pain and letting it go. I think the writers are out to show us, as well as Angel, that forgiveness may be necessary, even in the face of so much raw emotional pain as has resulted from these acts. Forgiving others and forgiving yourself. Angel's speech at the end of "Deep Down" set the premise before us:
"Nothing in the world is the way it ought to be. It's harsh and cruel. But that's why there's us: champions. It doesn't matter where we come from, what we've done or suffered, or even if we make a difference. We live as though the world was what it should be, to show it what it can be." (emphasis added)
The people who you love, and who love you, are the ones that have the ability to hurt you the most - not out of malice - but because they make mistakes, they suffer from human flaws, and sometimes the best of intentions come back to bite you and those you care about the most right in the heart. Learning to love and trust people even when you KNOW they can - and probably will - disappoint and hurt you is a very powerful lesson on the journey of life. Angel - and everyone in this currently broken family - have to come to terms with their own failures and the pain they have suffered from others and realize that forgiveness isn't something that has to be deserved, but is a gift you give to those you love. Because they need it, and because you need them.
All this does not mean I'm granting blanket absolution to the writers. I feel they have dropped some threads in the weaving of this tapestry. The one that bothers me the most is the complete abandonment of the warm, caring sibling relationship between Wesley and Cordelia. For me, it undermined the integrity of the character, and considerably lessened the emotional impact of the season ending cliffhanger.
I do feel that sacrifices have been made in order to set up this scenario. It remains to be seen whether or not they will be justified. I'm willing to wait and see, but I do not abdicate my right to disagree. I'm quite certain I'll get angry again, with the writers or the characters themselves, before this multi-season arc comes to some kind of resolution. I'll feel disappointed, I'll rant, I'll get furious. After all, I'm only human, too. But I'm willing to give the devils who so lovingly torment me their due! And I'll try to remember how important forgiveness is to the journey.
Now the stage is set. An emotionally torn apart team of champions is faced with
the greatest threat they've ever had. Now, they will have to find the strength
to move beyond what they have done in the past, the hurt they have caused each
other- and felt from each other - in order to "live as though the world was what
it should be." Because if they can't - there will no longer be a world at all.
Your comments are welcome.