Bland Text Version                    Interesting Song Version

Bland Text Version

The rules to follow for the "Pats' New and Improved Old Man UWH strategy" are few and simple:
I know this strategy is way different than the "Forwards in front of the
puck and Backs behind the puck" strategy were were playing up to a few
weeks ago and it will take some time to get use to it. The biggest
problem we have is players not being in position on the surface.

This is the order of events, you do on an individual basis:

  1. Your resting position is behind the puck, typically no more then 8 feet away
  2. Go down and enter the play from behind or to the side of the puck.
  3. Return to the surface
  4. Swim to your resting position behind the puck or sub out
  5. Catch your breath
  6. Start over at step 1
If you do step 5 before step 4 it is time to sub out. Fresh players keep the cycle momentum high.
The sub is recharged, you are depleted, so get out!

Interesting Song Version

It is set it to the tune of Row Row Row Your Boat.

Swim, Swim, Swim yourself
Between the puck and our gooooal.

If you let the puck get past,
We’ll shove your ass on a pooole.

Then you…Swim, Swim, Swim yourself
Behind or to the siiiide.

If you get in front of the puck,
We’ll think you never tried.

Then you…Swim, Swim, Swim yourself
back between the puck and our gooooal.

If all goes really really well
You wont meet our friend the poooole.


When you’re in the defensive third,
Push the puck to the waaaall!

If the backs rotate in from the wall
You know they’re on the baaaaall.

Now we get to the fo-owards
Who must rotate in at an angle.

Forty-Five degrees is good
Just don’t sit on the top and dangle.

Now we get to the middle third
Where you keep control of the puck.

If you don’t rotate the same as before
We’ll think you really suck.

Now we get to the offensive third
Where you angle play towards the goal

Stay out of the offensive corners
Or you’ll meet our friend the pole

If you have any trouble with this
Just think back to the soooong.

Sing it on the ride to Quebec
The whole eight hours long.