J-zine - Three Cylinders and a Prayer

Driving on Three Cylinders and a Prayer

You notice it straight away you arrive in Bombay. All the taxis seem to have a little sign saying "In god we trust". Or maybe a small plastic temple with flashing lights. A casual glance at the vehicle confirms the need for spiritual assistance. The state of repair -- or should I say dis-repair -- is alarming to someone travelling into India for the first time. Yet, somehow you do arrive unscathed at your destination. Divine grace and a good portion of luck seems to have smiled on your taxi driver once again.

[Driving] What is most noticeable about Bombay traffic, is the complete lack of rules. Most certainly, there are lanes marked on the highway, but only visitors are naïve enough to imagine that lorries and cars should respect them. Everyone weaves to the left and to the right just as it pleases them. The worst offenders are the auto-rickshaws -- three-wheelers built with scooter parts. They are small and extremely maneuverable. You feel you are watching a swarm of insects when you see their incessant change of direction. An impression that is strengthened by the steady drone from their two-stroke engine and the sound from the buzzer that substitutes for a horn.

Driving in
the rain

At the other end of the scale are the double-decker busses. These stalwarts of Bombay traffic are a tangible relic of the British Raj. They still use the sort of air-horn that has a large rubber bulb at one end. Squeezing it produces a rather wheezy, melancholic sound that reminds me, fancifully, of an asthmatic elephant. Speaking of elephants, you do occasionally meet one, sauntering casually along. They don't seem to be disturbed by the traffic and the traffic usually keeps clear of them, though sadly, one elephant was killed by a double decker bus last year.

When we settled in Bombay, we sold our Honda and bought a Maruti - a small Indian made car that is ideal for the traffic conditions. It's a cute little thing - a size smaller than, let us say, the Geo Metro, or Fiat Uno. The engine sound constantly reminds me of the car I drove as a student. It has that slightly irregular burbling sound of an engine firing on only three cylinders. My Morris ran mostly on three rather than four cylinders because of its age. The Maruti runs on three by design. When we took delivery of the car, I casually mentioned to my wife that it had only three cylinders. Her lack of faith in her fellow country men showed immediately. "Have they cheated us", she asked? "Why doesn't it have four?" It took me the rest of the day to calm her down and explain that the Maruti engine has only three cylinders because that is the way the Suzuki engineers designed it. And it runs surprisingly smoothly, though that characteristic three cylinder burble is unmistakably present.

And Then It Rains...