J-zine Wedding, Gujarati style

Wedding, Gujarati style

It was to be a simple wedding. We had planned to have an Arya Samaj priest to perform a very simple ceremony. Naina, Kalpana's eldest brother's wife, talked Kalpana into having a traditional Gujarati ceremony. In the traditional ceremony, the whole family participates. When I look back, I am very grateful to Naina for intervening. It was a kind gesture from her to accept me into the family in this way.

On arrival at the wedding hall, the women performed Aarti for the family members as they arrived. There are some traditional rituals where the families welcome the bride and groom. After that we exchanged garlands. At this point Kalpana was whisked off to change into her wedding sari.

For me, the ceremonies began with the Ganapti puja. The blessings of Ganesh are sought at the beginning of any major event. There was a delay as Kalpana took longer to drape her sari than planned. The priest was forced to add an unscheduled puja while we waited for her.

When Kalpana finally arrived, she looked radiant, if a little nervous. Her youngest brother, Rahul, led her into the room. We sat, side by side. The priest placed Kalpana's cupped hand on mine. A betal leaf, some money and other auspicious things were placed in our cupped hands. The priest and his assisitant chanted mantras in Sanskrit. And it was done. Done, but not all over. For a hindu marriage to be valid, the bride and groom must perform satpati. This done, we exchanged rings and I placed the mangal sutra aound her neck.

When all the ceremonies were over, we sought the blessings of the elders by touching their feet. And then photographs had to be taken. A group photo with this uncle. And one with that cousin. No one can be left out. And finally it's all over. I have an Indian wife and suddenly I am part of an Indian family.

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Golden Rule

Glossary of Indian terms

Aarti: A very simple welcoming ceremony. In this case placing a coloured mark (tilak) on the forhead.
Arya Samaj: A movement within the hindu religion that is characterised by simplicity and absence of idols.
Ganesh: The remover of obstacles and bringer of luck. In Bombay he is usually refered to as Ganapati.
Puja: An act of devotion or religious service.
Satpati: The seven steps around the sacred fire. The fire god, Agni, is the messenger. He will carry the offerings back and share them with the other gods.
Mangal sutra: The chain or thread, with pendant, that an Indian woman wears to show her married status.