IDIOTS AT WORK

Beam Me UP

I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed that I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed. When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature on the credit card with the signature I just signed on the receipt. So I signed the credit card in front of her. She carefully compared that signature to the one I signed on the receipt. As luck would have it, they matched.

IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD
I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DeerCrossing sign on our road. The reason: many deerwere being hit by carsand he no longer wanted them to cross there.

IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered ataco. She asked theindividual behind the counter for “minimallettuce.”He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.

IDIOT SIGHTINGS
Sighting #1:I was at the airport, checking in at the gate, whenthe airport employeeasked, “Has anyone put anything in your baggagewithout your knowledge?”I said, “If it was without my knowledge, how wouldI know?” He smiledand nodded knowingly, “That’s why we ask.”Idiot Sighting #2:The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it is safeto cross the street.I was crossing with an intellectually challengedco-worker of mine, whenshe asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. Iexplained that itsignals to blind people when the light is red. Sheresponded, appalled,”What on earth are blind people doing driving?”
Idiot Sighting #3:At a good-bye lunch for an old and dear coworkerwho is leaving thecompany due to “downsizing,” our manager spoke upand said, “this isfun. We should have lunch like this more often.”Not another word was spoken. We just looked ateach other like deerstaring into the headlights of an approachingtruck.
Idiot Sighting #4:I worked with an Individual who plugged her powerstrip back into itselfand for the life of her could not understand whyher system would notturn on.
Idiot Sighting #5:When my husband and I arrived at an automobiledealership to pick up ourcar, we were told that the keys had beenaccidentally locked in it.We went to the service department and found amechanic workingfeverishly to unlock the driver’s side door. As Iwatched from thepassenger’s side, I instinctively tried the doorhandle and discoveredit was open. “Hey,” I announced to the technician,“It’s open!””I know,” answered the young man.- “I already gotthat side.”

There, now, don’t you feel better