Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread to begin with.

Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?

Why is it that if someone tells you there are one billion stars in the universe you believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet paint you have to touch it to make sure?

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk I have a work station...

Can athiests get insurance for acts of God?

How come you never hear about gruntled employees?

If athiests say there is no God, who pops up the next tissue in the box?

If vegetable oil comes from vegetables, where does baby oil come from?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

The little things that drive a sane person mad

There's always a car riding your tail when you're slowing down to find an address.

You open a can of soup and the lid falls in.

The tiny red string on the Band-Aid wrapper never works for you.

There's a dog in the neighbourhood that barks at everything.

You can never put anything back in a box the way it came.

Your tyre gauge lets out half the air while you're trying to get a reading.

There are always one or two ice cubes that won't pop out of the tray.
...while the others come out *all at once*.

The radio station doesn't tell you who sang that song.

You rub on hand cream and can't turn the bathroom doorknob to get out.

People behind you on a supermarket line dash ahead of you to a counter just opening up.

You had that pen in your hand only a second ago and now you can't find it.

You reach under the table to pick something off the floor and smash your head on the way up.

You have to inform five different sales people in the same store that you're just browsing.

Inspirational posters

Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings; they did it by killing all those who opposed them.

If you can stay calm, while all around you is chaos... then you probably haven't completely understood the seriousness of the situation.

Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity.

A person who smiles in the face of adversity... probably has a scapegoat.

Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.

When the going gets tough, the tough take a coffee break.

Indecision is the key to flexibility.

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

Succeed in spite of management.

A snooze button is a poor substitute for no alarm at all.

Hang in there; retirement is only 30 years away!

Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups.

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