James: Hi.
Leto: Isn't he great everybody? ^_^. James, thanks very much for coming to this interview!
James: You are going to take photos of me, right? We wouldn't want to deprive the websurfers of more pictures of me, riight?
Leto: Er... of course not! Let's get into the interview! Now James, I hear -
Jessie: Just a minute!
Leto: Jessie, where'd you come from?
Jessie: Oh come on, like there's ever a moment when James is somewhere without me!
Leto: In the Maiden's Peak episode you lost him, and in Holy Matrimony he was inside his house without you after you got kicked out, and -
Jessie: You needn't cite every single example...
Leto: Yeah, well anyway, why are you here?
Jessie: I find it absolutely unfair that the world is being deprived of myself!
Leto *confused*: How so?
Jessie: This is the THIRD interview with James and not ONE person has thought to interview just me!
Meowth: That's because you're such a loudmouth, they know if they start to interview you by yaself, you'll talk for so long they'll have to -
Jessie (kicking Meowth out the room): SHUT UP MEOWTH. *ahem* Now Leto, wouldn't you like to interview me rather than James? *winning smile*
Leto: Not really; if I'd wanted to interview you I would've, I was intending to -
Jessie: YOU WOULD LIKE TO INTERVIEW ME, WOULDN'T YOU?! *mallet appears in hands*
Leto: ^_^;; Sure! Sure, of course! Great idea! I'd just love to interview you!
Jessie: Glad to hear it.
Leto: So what's James going to do in this interview then?
James (who has been sitting gazing blankly at nothing during this exchange): Huh?
Jessie: Just let him sit there, cheerfully oblivious.
James: Huh?
Leto: Ah, I see. ^_^. Okay Jessie, first question: the hair?
Jessie: What sort of question is that?
Leto: What is WITH the hair? Not only is it PINK, it looks like you spent about $2000 in hair gel to get it to stay like that. What, have you put so much hair crap in it that it stands still like that? *pokes Jessie's hair* I wonder if it's hard! Even when you get electrocuted or burnt, it still stays in position! *pokes Jessie's hair again* Rock solid?
Jessie (slapping Leto's hand away): Cut that out! My hair is naturally beautiful all on its own! I use no hair products whatsoever!
Leto: So why is it hard as rock? And what's with the colour?
Jessie: Shut up! And don't you know that anime females can have whatever hair colour they choose? The story behind mine is -
Leto: One of your parents was a Clefairy?
Jessie: Cut that out! Enough with the interruptions!
Leto: ^_^.
Jessie: My hair is pink because I am the girl and the girl should have pink hair. James is the boy so he has blue hair.
Leto: Yeah, that makes sense. (I suppose.) Next question... are you and Jessie an item?
Jessie: What?
Leto: Oh oops, that's right, I'm reading from the question cards I wrote from James. Uh, are you and James an item?
Jessie: An item? Where did you get that idea?
Leto: From the way you're always bashing him up.
Jessie: ??
Leto: Come on! Nothing shows that you care quite like a black eye!
Jessie: ^_^;;
Leto: "Love is in the air, everywhere I look around..."
Jessie: Enough! We're not an item!
James: :(
Leto: Yes you are, you just don't want to admit it.
Jessie: NEXT QUESTION.
Leto: Okay, what's with the cross dressing?
Jessie: I'm showing my feminism by... not acting like a female.
Leto: Yeah, that makes sense. But doesn't James scare you in his disguises?
Jessie: What are you talking about? Most of the time we wear the same disguise. What looks good on my looks good on him.
Leto: Short skirts?
Jessie: ^_^;;
Leto: And you say you don't have a thing for him.
Jessie: Enough of that. If you're not going to ask some reasonable questions, I'm leaving.
Leto: Okay, why does James carry a rose but you don't?
Jessie: Are all your questions involving James?!
James (hearing his name): Huh?
Leto: The interview was originally for him.
James: Huh?
Jessie: Just shut up. Anyway Leto, I don't like roses. They're full of obnoxious bugs.
Leto: What's wrong with bugs?
Jessie: There are three things I hate, carrots, peppers and - hang on, that's Misty.
Leto: Voice actress is getting confused?
Jessie: ^_^;;
Leto: Oooh Jessie, can I ask you something? Can I see your Arbok?
Jessie: ?
Leto: Arbok is soooooo cool! I wanna see it!
Jessie: Uh, okay. Arbok, go!
Arbok (appearing): Chhharbok!
Leto: Why does it say Charbok instead of Arbok?
Arbok: Cha-a-aarboku!
Jessie: It says it saw too much of Charmander when it was Ekans.
Leto: Ohhh, Arbok is so cute! *goes to pat Arbok*
Arbok: SHARBOK! *bites*
Leto: OOOOWWWWWW! YOU ROTTEN @$%&(!!
Jessie (trying not to laugh): Serves you right for patronising my Arbok.
Leto: It didn't poison me, did it?
Jessie: Well, wait and see. If you're dead in 2 hours, I guess it means it did poison you.
Leto: Oh, that's *very* reassuring. What's wrong with Lickitung?
Jessie: What do you mean? Nothing's wrong with it! It's MY Pokemon, after all.
Leto: You never use it.
Jessie: I've gotten this far with Arbok and I intend to keep it that way.
Leto: But you haven't gotten very far, look at you. The boss is furious with you, you have a really low income, you get stuck with -
Jessie: If you mention James one more time.
James: Huh?
Leto: I wasn't going to say James, I was going to say you got stuck with all the horrible missions and always lost.
Jessie: The fabulous Team Rocket never loses!
Leto: Sounds to me like someone's in denial. Uh... *sweatdrops* Speaking of that thing you're waving in my face, where do you get all your mallets and fans from?
Jessie: Um... next question.
Leto: Why do you always act like you've got PMS?
Jessie: NEXT QUESTION!
Leto (nervous): Why are you ALWAYS holding that mallet?
Jessie: Because you keep asking obnoxious questions!
Leto: Put it down.
Jessie: No.
Leto: Give me that!
Jessie: NEVEEEER!
(Leto and Jessie engage in fistfight)
Leto (lying mangled on the floor): Next question is... *cough* where'd you learn to fight like that?
Jessie: Meowth taught me.
Leto: Catfighting has a whole new meaning.
Jessie (proud): Now maybe you'll think twice before tangling with Team Rocket! Now if you'll excuse me, I have go to find a NICE person to interview me.
(Jessie grabs James by the collar and drags him out after her)
Leto: Wait! I thought you hated nice! Come back! Jessie! James! *door slams* Just great... *sits down* Oooh... I think that poison's kicking in. Oh... *thump*
And so the interview concludes with Team Rocket storming off in a huff and the interviewer unconscious on the ground. The moral clearly is... um... well, there isn't one. The end.
