These interviews were written by the Angus sisters, posted on the Team Rocket HQ message boards and used with permission from Gypsy. E-mail her with feedback. ^_^. Interview #9 - first four gym leaders (Sisters Gypsy Layla and Nikita Angus interview gym leaders Koga, Lt. Surge, Misty, and Sabrina. Misty and Koga are in the interview room with Gypsy, but at the moment they're the only ones there. A radio is playing. Koga is grooving to the music, his eyes glazed over.) Koga: (Singing) "It's allright if you do... it's allright if you don't... I'm not afraid of you runnin' away honey I got da feelin' you won't... it's allright... (Gypsy turns off the radio- Koga continues to sing) It's allright! Breakdow-" HEY! Who killed th' tunes, man? Gypsy: I did. They'll be here soon and I want everyone paying attention. Koga: I wuz jus' jammin', man! Chill! Misty: I was listening to that too! Gypsy: We'll turn the radio back on later! (Nikita enters with Sabrina and Leiutenant Surge) Nikita: I found them! Gypsy: I can't believe they BOTH got lost! Lt. Surge: You give lousy directions! Gyspy: Sabrina, couldn't you have used you psychic what-not to get here? Sabrina: I was following HIM. Nikita: They were cruising around Second and Hancock! Gypsy: Second and Hancock? We live on Third and Churchill! They probably passed us! Sabrina: Twice. (Glares at Surge) Misty: I was the first one here because I've been here before! On my way, I picked up Koga from a party! Nikita: You were at a party? Koga: Huhh?... Nikita: A party! Koga: Where's a party? Nikita: No no, Misty said you just CAME from a party! Koga: Oh yeah! My sister Iya made me come! I wuz s'posta stay wit' da gym but she wanted me ta come party with her... Sabrina: You don't seem yourself today. Surge: Thats because he's BLAZED! Gypsy: Were there by any chance drugs at the party?... Koga: No, there weren't drugs! -Well, there was alcohol... and weed... and I think some people were on crack... but no drugs! (Everyone rolls their eyes) Nikita: Drugs are bad. Gypsy: Everyone sit! Glad you all could make it! Welcome to the Angus Sister Interviews! I'm Gypsy Layla, and that's my little sister Nikita! Koga: (Laughing) Yer name is "Angus"! Thats a cow! (Nikita starts to take out her dagger but Gypsy stops her) Gypsy: He doesn't know what he's saying, Niki, let it slide! Nikita: Okay... but I don't like it! Koga: You guys got any water? My mouth is REALLY dry!... (Gypsy hands Koga her Pepsi) Koga: Oh thank you! Gypsy: Don't mention it. Now, I trust you all know each other?... Nikita: I hear there was a gym leader convention last month! Misty: That was really boring. Surge: I know Koga! Hey, remember that time we got high under the high school bleachers and drove all the way to Viridian to throw rocks at Giovanni's gym? Koga: (Burts out laughing as if it were the funniest thing in the world) Dude that was so cool! Gypsy: You guys better stop or you're going to get us in ALOT of trouble! Nikita: They might ban this interview! No more talk about pot! Sabrina: I hate it when they get a hold of drugs. Surge: I hate it when we don't! Do you have any idea how boring that guy is when he's sober? Misty: I do! He's all... spiritual! Koga: Am I really? Misty: Yes! Koga: Well maybe I should go be a psycho hippie with Blaine! Surge: Aw, not like Blaine! That guy is annoying! Nikita: (Throws her notecards in the air) This is what happens when we interview too many people at once... Gypsy: Could be worse. We could have all eight of them in here. Nikita: (Shudders) the true definition of Hell... Gypsy: Should we call for help? Nikita: Naw, we can handle it. All we need is to get their attention. (While the others are chatting, Gypsy reaches behind her chair, grabs her shotgun, and fires a round into the air. As expected, the room silences.) Gypsy: Good. There we are. Nikita: You guys are gonna hafta pay a LITTLE more attention, okay? Gypsy: We invited you to an interview, show a little more respect! Misty: What are you TALKING about? I've been to one of these interviews before, and you yourselves show absolutely NO respect! I LEFT I was so insulted by you! Nikita: Yeah, it was a good day! Koga: Naww, it don' work like that! You treat people like you wanna be treated! Man! Gypsy: We don't count. We're omitted. Nikita: Besides, since when is us being respectful entertaining? Misty: Well if you aren't going to, I'm not going to either! Nikita: How rude! Misty: Look who's talking! Sabrina: Oh God, I have a headache... Koga: Can psychics get headaches? Sabrina: Psychics get the WORST headaches. Gypsy: I have an idea... Hey, Surge! Nikita and Koga: SUUURGE!! Surge: Stop that! You have no idea how sick I am of that joke! Gypsy: Let me borrow your Raichu for a second! Surge: Why? Gypsy: You'll see! Just give it here! (Lt. Surge hands Gypsy a pokeball. She opens it and Raichu pops out.) Raichu: Raii! Surge: Raichu, do what Gypsy says! Gypsy: Raichu, thunderbolt Misty! Misty: WHAT?! (Raichu electrocutes Misty) Misty: AYE AYE AYE AYE!!! Nikita: (Throws an empty pokeball) Pokeball, go! (The ball smacks Misty in the face) Misty: OW! (Nikita ties Misty to her chair with rope) Gypsy and Nikita: ALLRIGHT! We caught a Misty! Misty: You can't catch people! Untie me! Gypsy: Thanks for the use of your raichu, Surge! Nikita and Koga: SUUURGE!! Sabrina: (her fingers to her temples) Stop yelling! Surge: No problem, Baby! Raichu, return! (zzapp) Nikita: Now let's see how well she battles! Koga, let's see your venomoth real quick! Koga: Huhh?... Misty: This is sick and inhuman! I'm reporting you to the ASPCA! Gypsy: Been there, done that. Nikita: Koga! the pokemon! Koga: Yeah, I got pokemon. Nikita: ...Can we use one? Koga: (Staring at his feet) Wow... look how far away my feet are! You guys, you guys, are my legs really long right now? Gypsy: This is no use, you realize. Koga: "No... I don't want no scrubs... a scrub is the kind that can't git no luv from me..." Surge: Hey! Coca-Koga! back to Earth now! Koga: HAH! Coca-Koga! That's funny! Sabrina: Koga, next time Iya invites you to a party, please decline. Nikita: Okay, I give. Sabrina, let me see YOUR pokemon! Sabrina: No. Nikita: Pleeeease? Sabrina: No. Nikita: Fine, be that way! Surge: Here, you can use raichu again! Gypsy: Thank you, Surge! You're such a sport! Nikita and Koga: SUUURGE!! Surge and Sabrina: STOP THAT! Gypsy: Niki, I got Raichu again! Nikita: Oh yeah! Misty, what level are you? Misty: UNTIE ME NOW! Nikita: I have yo or you can't battle! (Unties Misty) Now, Misty, bitch attack! Misty: WHAT?! Gyspy: Raichu, elecric shock! (Raichu electrocutes Misty) Misty: AUGH!! Nikita: Misty, recover! Misty: I AM NOT A POKEMON!!! Nikita: PMS attack, now! Gypsy: Raichu, block it! Surge: Now THIS is entertainment, eh, Coca-Koga? Koga: Duuuuude... I can, like, feel my DNA! Sabrina: I need asprin... Nikita: Big mallet attack, Misty! Misty: I'LL BIG MALLET YOU! Gypsy: I'm sencing hostility towards the trainer here! Nikita: Gypsy, why won't she obey me? Gypsy: Try giving her some rare candy. Nikita: Naw, I'm fed up with pokemon training. Gypsy: Are you going to let her go? Misty: YES! Nikita: No, I'm giving her away! Gypsy: To who? Koga: Oh oh oh! Me me me! Give 'er to me! Gypsy: How about Sabrina because she's so sexy! Sabrina: Don't make me obliviate you. Koga: I'm sexy too! Give me the Misty! Nikita: Naw, she's not very fun. Koga: I'm fun! I swear to God! Gypsy: How about Surge for letting us borrow his Raichu twice? Koga: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DON'T MAKE ME STEAL HER!! Nikita: Good idea, Gyps! Lieutenant Surge, we would be honored if you would take care of our Misty for us! (Koga groans) Surge: I'd be glad to! Misty: Thats it, I'm outta here! Nikita: Back you go, into your pokeball! (Ties Misty back to the chair and pushes the chair towards Surge) Surge: Hey, baby! Misty: If you have any decency i you, you'll untie me! Koga: Surge! I'll hook you up with some good stuff if you let me have your Misty! Surge: How good? Koga: I'm on it now and the walls are spinning, man! The walls! They're spinning! It's trippy! Oh my God... Look at all the colours! Surge: Wow! But... I'd rather keep my new Misty. Misty: This is just a game, right? You aren't really gonna keep me, are you? Koga: I will! I will! Gypsy: Sabrina, feel like shutting up Koga? (Sabrina glares at Koga. Her eyes glow and her hair flares out. Koga's chair flies into the air and he spills over.) Koga: YiPe! Nikita: That's the same trick Jack pulled on Butch and Cassidy! Gypsy: Sabrina, do you know Jack? Sabrina: He works in my gym. Nikita: He's nice, isn't he? Sabrina: He's morbid. Gypsy: You're morbid too. Sabrina: He kills mice. Nikita: You turned your own mother into a doll. Sabrina: He hardle ever moves or talks. Gypsy: You communicate through use of a doll! Nikita: I think you two would make a lovely couple! Gypsy: Oh, yes! You have so much in common! Nikita: Like you both like making chairs fly up to knock people over! Gypsy: And you both allways have the same evil nonchanging expression on your faces! Nikita: You should go out! Let us fix you up! Sabrina: (Blushing) Don't insult me! (A blast of energy shoots forward and knocks Gypsy and Nikita's chairs backwards, slamming them into the wall behind them with the sisters still sitting on them) Koga: WHOA! Am I trippin'?! Am I trippin'?! Surge: No, no, that really happened! Misty: Do it again! Hurt them! Hurt them! (As the Angus sister s push their chais back in place, Nikita points her dagger at Misty while Gypsy points her shotgun at her) Gypsy: You wanna say that again?.. Misty: Why are you threatening me?! I didn't shoot you into a wall! Nikita: You made an obscene comment! Gypsy: And we can't threaten Sabrina! She has magic out mortal weapons can't compare to! That was just proven! Nikita: She could tear our hearts out. We can't get her. Gypsy: But we can kill you! Nikita: We sure can! Surge: Hey! You can't kill her, you gave her to me! Gypsy: All right, all right, we won't kill your Misty. Misty: I am NOT a Pokemon! I'm a girl! Surge: (Unties Misty and sets her on his lap) You sure are, Baby! And a cutie! Misty: I hope you're not a child molesterer! Surge: Nope! I'm you're trainer! Misty: HELP! (Tries to jump and run towards the door but Lt. Surge is holding her) Nikita: Theres no escape, Misty! We allways lock the doors! Misty: You better let me out of here before I get the lawyers involved! Gypsy: The Angus sisters fear nothing! Not even lawsuits! Nikita: You're pathetic threats don't even phase us! Koga: Do you guys have any chips or something? I got the munchis and I ran out of Pepsi! Gypsy: Do you mind? We're trying to sound eerie and threatening, and you just interupted us! Koga: I'm sorry! Nikita: Maybe we should send Koga home, he's higher than a kite and making things difficult! Koga: No! I can't go home! Iya will kill me! Nikita: Why? She's the one who invited YOU to the party, why would she be mad at you for coming home burned? koga: Because by now she's sober and when she's sober she remembers that she hates it when I get high! I smoked more bowls than her! Gypsy: So fake sober! Koga: She'll know! She'll know! Gypsy: man, you're tweekin'! You're words are slurring together and you're talking louder than necissary! You're eyes are glazed over! Go home, eat, and take a nap! Nikita: When we invited you to be interviewed, we were hoping for some spiritualistic input from a ninja! And you show up half baked! You burn out! I for one am not impressed. Gypsy: Mm hmm. You punk kids. You should be ashamed. Koga: I'm sorry! Please dop't tell anyone! ...It's Iya's fault! Nikita: You're the older brother, you should be the responsible one! Gypsy: That's right! You shouldn't have even let your sister go to a party there would be drugs at! If Nikita or any other of my siblings came home stoned one day, I'd smack them! Nikita: Except Vito who comes home stoned EVERY day. Gypsy: That punk, I oughtta beat 'is ass! Koga: Thats why I CAN'T go home! She'd smack me! Gypsy: Serves you right, you pothead! Nikita: Jesus, Gypsy, we're sounding like my dad! Gypsy: Well somebody in this family has to be the responsible one, and God knows it isn't our whore mother. Besides, if we don't scold the dumbass, they might ban interview #9! Nikita: Or we could get bad reviews, and thats murder to a writer! Gypsy: Nobody say anything bad about this interview! Nikita: Or we'll hunt you down and KILL you! Gypsy: Don't threaten them, Niki, you could make them mad! The muns have more power than us! Nikita: Ohh... Sabrina: Do you have any advil? I have a migraine... Gypsy: We're allmost done, Sweetheart, just be patient. Misty: I have a headache too! I want out of here! Nikita: You've wanted out of here since you got here! Surge: You gotta leave with ME, Baby! I own you now! Misty: You do not! Nobody owns me! And I will NOT fit inside a pokeball! Gypsy: Surge- question- Nikita and Koga: SUUURGE!! Sabrina and Misty: KNOCK IT OFF! Surge: What's the question? Gypsy: How did you get the rank of Lieutenant? Surge: I was in the military! Nikita: What, did you quit after yout last promotion to become a gym leader? Surge: Uh, well- Gypsy: Don't you wana be a captain? Nikita: Captain is better than Leiutenant! Surge: That's true, but- Gypsy: Well today is your lucky day, Lieutenant Surge! Nikita: That's right! Today is the day of your promotion! Surge: My promotion? Gypsy: Congradulations, Surge, on acheiving the rank of captain! (Salutes him) Surge: Do you have the authority to do that? Nikita: What, you wanna be a Lieutenant again? Surge: Hell, I'm not complainin'! (Salutes) Nikita: (Shakes Surge's hand) Well done, Captain Surge! Surge: Um, right... Gypsy: Hey, Sabrina, you wanna be promoted too? (Sabrina glares at Gypsy, her eyes glowing. Gypsy turns into a doll.) Gypsy: EEEEEK!! Koga: (Tweekin') Oh my God! I'm trippin'! I'm trippin'! Surge: No, that really happened! Nikita: Gypsy! Gypsy: (A doll) Help! Help! I'm all chibi! Sabrina: I TOLD you I wanted some advil! Gypsy: Turn me back, right now! Nikita: She's so cute! Can I keep her? Gypsy: NIKITA!! Nikita: (Hugs her sister doll) How adorable! Gypsy: If I had my gun right now... Koga: (Snatches Gypsy's gun) Yoink! Gypsy: (gasp) MY SHOTGUN! PUT THAT DOWN! Koga: Ha ha! Now I have the power! (Sabrina turns Koga into a doll) Koga: AUGHHH!!! Whoa, that was wacked out! I'm trippin' this time! I'm trippin'! I gotta get outta here! Surge: No, that really happened too, Koga! Nikita: What cute dollies! Gypsy: Nikita Roxanne Angus, you could be ALOT more help right now! Misty: Sabrina, what are you going to do with Gypsy and Koga? Sabrina: I just wanted to shut them up! Surge: You got that right, Baby! Gypsy: Is that your attitude towards the girl who gave you a Misty? Koga: -And your hook-up! Surge: Hey, don't argue with anyone from Saffron! (Sabrina turns Captain Surge into a doll) Surge: NOOOO!!! Nikita: Wow! Misty: She turned Surge into a doll too! Sabrina: So now... It's time to play! Nikita: ALLRIGHT! I get to be Gypsy! Gypsy, Koga, and Surge: HELLLLP!!! (Nikita, Misty, and Sabrina play with Gypsy and gym leader dolls.) Interview #10 - other four gym leaders (Sisters Gypsy Layla and Nikita Angus interview gym leaders Giovanni, Erika, Brock, and Blaine. Everyone is in the room except Gypsy. Blaine is tied up and gagged in his chair, struggling with the ropes. For the most part, the other three interviews haven't asked why. Erika breaks the silence.) Erika: (Points to Blaine) Um, why- Nikita: He's on our hit list. We've been hired to kill him. Brock: So what's he doing here? Nikita: We have to interview him first! (The door opens and a silver haired girl, about 20 years old, enters) Ricia: I'm here! Nikita: Hey, Sis! Ricia: Hey!... move your chair over. Nikita: Why? Ricia: Because. Just do it. (Nikita scoots her chair over and Ricia pulls her chair up between Nikita and Giovanni) Ricia: (Leaning towards Giovanni) Hey, Hottie! Giovanni: Excuse me? Brock: Where's Gypsy? Nikita: As our readers may recall, last interview, Sabrina turned Gypsy into a doll. It is in this state she remains. (Gypsy runs in, pulling on her vest and spilling her coffee) Nikita: Just kidding! Erika: If she was a doll, how'd she turn back? Gypsy: I wouldn't let Sabrina leave untill she fixed me, and made things worse by telling bad jokes! Nikita: Gypsy, you're late AGAIN! First with Jessie and James, then with Butch and Cassidy, now with Giovanni! Gypsy: It's a conspiracy for sure now! Ricia: Hey, Gypsy! Gypsy: Hey, Ricia! Nikita: Now, let's get a move on, shall we? Gypsy: Of course! Welcome all, to the Angus Sister Interviews! I'm Gypsy Layla, and these are my sisters Nikita and Ricia! Erika: Pleasure to meet you all! Blaine: (through his gag) MMPH! Nikita: Nice to meet you too, Erika! Ricia: (Clinging to Giovanni's arm) Charmed! Giovanni: Do you mind? Ricia: Not at all! (Giovanni pushes Ricia away) Ricia: Well! You think a man of his age would LIKE pretty girls to flirt with him! Giovanni: Of my age?! (Brock, Nikita, and Gypsy snicker) Giovanni: I'm not old! Nikita: Oh be honest! You're like, what, 50? Giovanni: Hardly! Blaine, he's old! I'm still in my prime! Ricia: You certainly are! (Blaine angrily mumbles something) Nikita: (pulls off his gag) What was that? Blaine: I said I'm not old! Nikita: Yeah, sure. (re-gags him) Blaine: Hmph! Gypsy: Just be patient, Hippie, we'll kill you in a few minutes. Erika: Oh, don't kill him! Nikita: We have to, they allready paid the money. Brock: They who? Gypsy: We aren't at liberty to say. Brock: But who will run the Cinnebar Island Gym? Ricia: Oh, I'm sure they'll find somebody. Nikita: Like me! Giovanni: YOU a GYM leader? Don't make me laugh! Nikita: (gives him the evil eye) I could kill you too, y'no. Giovanni: No you couldn't, I own you. Nikita: Damn! I forgot about that. Ricia: (wraps her arms around his neck) I wouldn't let yo kill him anyhow! Nikita: I hate you, Ricia. Ricia: I hate you too. Nikita: Not really, though. Ricia: Of course. Gypsy: You two have the strangest relationship! Brock: (Decides to give that a try) I hate you, Nikita. Nikita: I hate you too. Brock: Not really, though. Nikita: I really hate you. Brock: Oh come on, Nikita, I said I was sorry! Nikita: Sorry doesn't change anything! And quit leaving messages on my machine! Erika: What... Gypsy: They used to date. Erika: Ah. Nikita: Yeah, and I dumped his ass cuz he would look at other girls while out with me! You stupid... half-eyed... skirt chaser! Giovanni: Oh yeah, THAT was good. Gypsy: We're trying to keep the profanity to a minimum. Brock: Honest, Nikita, those girls meant NOTHING! Nikita: And so do you! I have a new boyfriend now, and he's better than you! Brock: Who, BUTCH? Do you really want to be known as Butch's Bitch? Nikita: SHUT UP you ASS! At least it sounds more poetic that Brock's Bitch! Brock: Aw, Niki, it hurts me when you say those things! Nikita: DON'T call me Niki! Only my friends call me Niki! Brock: Well fine, you ho! Be that way! Nikita: Pssht! Fine! Brock: Fine! Blaine: (muffled) Awww... Ricia: What a show! Gypsy: I hate to see my little sister upset! Do you want a hug? (Nikita shakes her head) Gypsy: Okay, I'm gonna trust you. Brock: Can I have a hug? Gypsy and Nikita: SHUT UP! Brock: Hmm... (Turns to Erika) Will YOU hug me? Erika: (Leans away) Good God, no! Ricia: Us women gotta stick together! Brock: Oh yeah? Well so do us men! Right, guys? (He turns to Giovanni. Giovanni scowls at him. He turns to Blaine. Blaine scowls at him.) That figures. You'd take my side if you were younger! Giovanni: I'm not old! Blaine: (Spits out his gag) If I were younger I'd STILL think you were a jerk! Brock: I'm not a jerk! Nikita: Yes you are! Brock: You're the ex! You're opinions don't count! Ricia: I'm not your ex, and I think you're a jerk! Brock: Quit PICKING on me! Gypsy: Quit being a prick! Brock: I'm just gonna shut up now, you guys are gonna argue with everything I say. Nikita: Fine. Brock: Fine. Nikita: Fine. (Gypsy giggles) Nikita: What? Gypsy: You know what I just realized? Nikita: What's that? Gypsy: In interview #9, we endorsed three different kinds of soda! Pepsi, Coke, and Surge! Nikita: Imagine that! (Drinks her Sprite) Gypsy: Dr. Pepper? Nikita: No thanks. Blaine: You guys aren't REALLY going to kill me, right? This is all for entertainment, right? Nikita: Oh, we're really going to kill you. Gypsy: Uh-huh. They allready paid, we have to. Erika: I wish you wouldn't have this conversation! Nikita: Aw, you're such a sweet girl! Gypsy: Will yo go out with me? Erika: Um, no. Gypsy: She's not so sweet. Erika: You're a very nice person, but I'm straight. Gypsy: God damn it, they all are! Erika: I'm sorry. Gypsy: That's okay. Hey! You're the perfume expert...try and guess what I'm wearing! (Holds out her wrist) Erika: (Smells Gypsy's wrist) Um... that's "Morbid". Gypsy: Wow, very good! Nikita: Now do me! (holds out her wrist) Erika: (Smells it) That's also "Morbid"! Nikita: Oh, she IS good! Brock: Try and guess what cologne I'm wearing! Erika: Hold out your wrist. Brock: It's on my neck. (Erika rolls her eyes and smells his neck) Erika: Hey... you aren't WEARING any perfume! Brock: (Grins) Yeah I know. (Erika slaps him across the face) Nikita: Oh YEAH! Ricia: Damn straight! Brock: (Rubs her cheek) That felt familiar... Erika: Don't you ever try that again! Brock: I can't, now you know how it works! Blaine: You really ARE a jerk! Ricia: Hey, Giovanni! Smell my perfume! Giovanni: No! Ricia: Come on, it's nice! Giovanni: No! Ricia: I'll have you yet, you bastard! Gypsy: You read too much. (Ricia sticks her tongue out at Gypsy) Giovanni: Honestly, if you think I'm so old, why are you attracted to me? Gypsy and Nikita: The money. Ricia: That's not true! I like him as a person, and I like his pretty face! Brock and Blaine: It's the money. Ricia: It is not! (Sets herself on Giovanni's lap) I am not a gold digger! I do like him! Giovanni: (Pushes her off his lap) I know your kind! You're nothing but a power-hungry harlot! (Ricia lands on the floor. Gypsy locks her shotgun and points it at Giovanni's face.) Gypsy: How many times do we have to tel you people NOT to insult our family?! Ricia: Gypsy Layla! Gypsy: I'LL MAKE AN EXAMPLE OUT OF YOU! Nikita: Patience, Gypsy! He'll be on the list soon enough! Giovanni: The list? (Gypsy hesitantly lowers her gun, a sour look on her face) Gypsy: (Whines) But I wanna kill him! Nikita: He'll get his, don't worry! Just wait untill somebody pays the money- you know SOMEONE will. Giovanni: Are you saying I'm on your hitlist? Brock: They're saying it's only a matter of time untill somebody wants you dead. Giovanni: They can't kill me, I double-check that list! Nikita: We kill anyone we're paid to. Gypsy: Well I wanna kill SOMETHING! ...I'll kill Blaine! Blaine: NO! Nikita: Go ahead. Blaine: You can't kil me! You haven't interviews me yet! (Struggles with the ropes that bind him) Gypsy: (Preparing to fire) I've grown weary of you. Brock: She's really going to do it! Erika: Please, don't! It's too gruesome! Gypsy: Sheild your eyes, everyone! Blaine: Plaese, God, DON'T! I'm too young to die! Gypsy: ...Three... Two... Blaine: HOW ABOUT A RIDDLE?! (Pause) Nikita: How about it, Gypsy? Gypsy: You're only stalling the inevitable, Blaine. Blaine: Can we make a deal? Nikita: We could if we weren't allready piad, but I bought a new dress with my share of the money and if I didn't kill you I'd have to return it. Gypsy: That'd be a shame. It's such a nice dress. Erika: Please, I'm begging you, don't shoot him during the interview! I don't want to see it! Nikita: Allright, allright... Gypsy, chill. Gypsy: (Disapointed) Aww... Fine, but you gotta tell a riddle like you said you would, Hippie! Blaine: Okay let's see... Five girls are all under one umbrella as they walk to school. but none of them get wet. How- Ricia: Not raining. Blaine: Damn, she knows that one. Allright, how about this... what can you put into a barrel that is visible to the naked eye that would make the barrel lighter? Ricia: A hole. Blaine: Damn, she knows that one too! Ricia: Can't stump me, Hippie! Blaine: Allright, allright... What has four legs in the morning, two in the afternoon, and three in the evening? (Ricia draws a blank) Nikita: Ooh, you got 'er! Ricia: I'll get it! Blaine: How about this... if she doesn't get it, you let me go! Gypsy: Nice try. Blaine: Oh come on, you can't REALLY want to kill me! Gypsy: I have an itchy trigger-finger, Blaine! Don't press your luck! Blaine: You satanic murderers! Don't you have hearts? Nikita: We have hearts. Gypsy: Just no souls. Nikita: The Angus Sisters have no souls. Blaine: The Angus Sisters are going to jail! Gypsy: The Angus Sisters are gonna beat your ass! Blaine: Go ahead, shoot me! The sooner the better! Erika: Would the Angus Sisters please sow a little curtousy and NOT shoot him during the interview? Ricia: You can't kill him yet, I still have to figure out his riddle. Nikita: Fine. We can wait. Gypsy: I don't like it... but I'll be nice. Ricia: Gosh, Giovanni, you don't have your persian with you! Your lap must be cold! (Innocent smile) Giovanni: I'm fine! (She sits on his lap. He doesn't bother to push her off.) Brock: I don't understand you, Giovanni! If a pretty girl wanted to sit on MY lap, I'd be ecstatic! Especially if I was your age! Giovanni: What's THA supposed to mean?! Ricia: Relax, Gio, I just want to cuddle! Giovanni: I don't have time for females, just like I don't have time for this interview! Erika: So why are you here? Giovanni: Ransom. They kidnapped Persian. (Gypsy and Nikita grin) Nikita: Wasn't hard, either! Gypsy: We tried to warn you, Giovanni! Ricia: That's okay, from where I'm sitting I can honestly tell you he prefers to have me on his lap! (Gypsy, Nikita, and Brock burts out laughing) Giovanni: (Blushing) okay, time for you to move! (He stands up and Ricia slides off is lap. He quickly sits back down, leaning forward slightly.) Nikita: Allright, Ricia! Gypsy: You go girl! (Ricia takes her own seat again, grinning) Giovanni: She was sitting on my hand! Ricia: HAH! If that was your hand, you've got a Hell of a thumb! Brock: (Laughing still) Y'see? he's not so old after all! Blaine: Now come sit on my lap! C'mon, as a last request from a man on death row! Ricia: No! Nikita: You can't turn down last requests, Ricia! Ricia: Can't he just ask for a cigarette?... Blaine: How about a kiss? Just a little peck! Ricia: (Rolls her eyes) Fine. (She kisses his cheek. He grins. She kisses Giovanni's cheek as well.) Blaine: I'm blushin'! Brock: So is Giovanni! Giovanni: (Covering his face) I'm not! Gypsy: So, Giovanni, what's it like to be the leader of Team Rocket? Erika: He's the leader of Team Rocket? Blaine: I didn't know that! Nikita: I thought everybody knew it! Brock: I knew it. Ricia: I did too. Giovanni: Three of you know it because you're IN Team Rocket! Him, I don't know HOW he found out. Brock: Jessie and James. Giovanni: Those blockheads... Gypsy: How many people work for Team Rocket? Giovanni: About half. Gypsy: Yuk yuk yuk! Nikita: Very clever. Ricia: How come you spent the first two seasons in the shadows with a disguised voice? Giovanni: So no one would know that I was the leader of Team Rocket, of course they figured it out anyhow... Erika: Do any cops know? Giovanni: No, and they never will! Now that you know, I have to have you killed! Gypsy: (Cracks her knuckles) Thats OUR job! Erika: You aren't REALLY going to kill us, are you? Nikita: Up to Giovanni. Brock: You can't have fellow gym leaders killed! Giovanni: Is that what you think? Erika: You wouldn't! Brock: We promise not to tell anyone! Erika: Uh-huh! Swear! Giovanni: Hmm... maybe I'll show a little mercy today... Brock and Erika: YES! Giovanni: You're lucky. I'm letting you off with a warning. (Brock and Erika sigh in releif) Nikita: Oh, poo. I wanted to castrate Brock! Gypsy: Let him invite you out again. Brock: Noooooo! Ricia: (Wraps her arms around Giovanni) That was a good thing you did! Giovanni: (Pushes her away) Steer clear of me! You're nothing but trouble! Ricia: Of course! But you love me anyhow! Gypsy: Everybody loves Ricia! Ricia: I'm a lovable kinda gal! Nikita: Giovanni allready has that figured out! (Snicker) Giovanni: Do you want to get fired? Nikita: Damn! I forgot he has that authority! Giovanni: And how come nobody in your family calls me "Boss" like everyone else? Nikita: We're non-conformists! Gypsy: Besides, you aren't DIRECTLY our boss, we're only a DIVISION of Team Rocket! Giovanni: But it's OF Team Rocket, which I'm in charge of! Nikita: You want to be called "Boss"? Fine. No skin off our backs. Ricia: I'll call you Boss! I'll call you anything you want! Gypsy: Sure thing, Boss. Whatever you say, Boss. Brock: I have a question, Rocket-Boss... Giovanni: (Rolls his eyes) What is it? Brock: How come you haven't fired Jessie and James yet? Giovanni: Because then I'd have to have them killed, and I'm sure my assasination division isn't up to that! (Glares at the Angus Sisters) I'll at least have to demote them first. And they're trying so hard! Brock: God, tell me about it! Gypsy: Brock, even as a jerk, I think you'd make a great Rocket member! Why on Earth are you hanging out with Ash and Misty? What are you getting out of that? Brock: Oh, I don't know. But I don't think it will last much longer. They're begining to get on my nerves. Nikita: It would certainly annoy me. Gypsy: Ask Giovanni if you can join Team Rocket, it's all good. They're are lots of sexy people on the team! Brock: Ooh! Erika: Are you going to? Brock: I'll think about it. Ricia: If you did, what would you tell Ash and Misty? Brock: I'll tell them I did it all for the Nookie. Gypsy: And if they make a fuss, we can take care of them! (Wicked grin) Nikita: Oh-h-h yes! We've been planning this heist for a LONG time! Brock: I heard about that! I heard it from Ash, from Pikachu, from Jessie, James, and Meowth... even from Gary! But it's been ten interviews, are you still going to? Blaine: Going to what? Ricia: Kill Ash Ketchum. My sisters have been plotting this carefully for a long time. Nikita: We might, and we might not. Gypsy: In the meantime, we like scaring the bejesus out of him! Nikita: Damn right! (Nod) Erika: Oh, I wish everyone would stop talking about death and killing! It's unpleasant! Gypsy: Maybe you're just too pleasant. (Theres a knock at the door. Gypsy and Nikita exchange confused looks.) Gypsy: Did you invite anyone else today, Nikita? Nikita: No. Did you? Gypsy: No... did any of you guys? Brock: Not me. Erika: Mm-mm. Ricia: Maybe we got a telegram. Gypsy: (Walking towards the door) Do those things even still exist? (She opens the door and a rose is thrust in her face. She steps back, surprised, and James steps forward.) James: Gypsy! Gypsy: James! Nikita: James? Brock and Giovanni: James? James: Gypsy, we gotta talk! Gypsy: Well well well! Did I not TELL you you'd be back? James: You did, and you were so right! (Puts a hand on her shoulder) Gypsy, I- Gypsy: (Pulls away) Don't you "sorry" me, you rat! You broke my heart! I don't even want to LOOK at you now! James: But you have to listen to me! Nikita: This is certainly an interesting development! To the folks at home, as you can see, we had NO idea James was going to drop in on us! Gypsy: Go away, James! We're in the middle of an interview! James: I can see that, but I had to talk to you right away! I didn't mean those things I said, really! It doesn't bother me that you're bisexual! Gypsy: Then why did you dump me? James: Jessie made me! She said that you offended her and forbade me to see you again! Gypsy: And you LISTENED to her?! James: She's stronger than me! I knew insubordination would result in decapitation but I don't care now! (Grabs Gypsy and holds her) Gypsy, I'm sorry I let her push me around, I'm sorry I hurt you! I know you hate me, you have every right to hate me, I am scum, I don't deserve you, but please, please forive me! Gypsy: I... I'm sorry too, james! James: You are? Gypsy: I am! I don't hate you! I've missed you! James: Then you'll forgive me? Gypsy: I will! James: I love you, Gypsy! Gypsy: I love you too! (Tey cry and hold each other) Nikita: (Wipes away a tear) Thats so beautiful! Brock: You see, Nikita? If Gypsy can forgive James, why can't you forgive me? Nikita: Because you're a jerk! (Smacks him) Erika: This is such a tender moment! I'm happy for you, Gypsy and James! Giovanni: I don't aprove of my employees dating each other! Ricia: Oh, lighten up! Don't you think that was sweet? Giovanni: It was interesting, but I don't care for romance. Gypsy: Well you just don't know what you're missing! Come on, James, you can have my chair! James: But where will you sit? Gypsy: (Fasioning the rose into her hair and securing it with a clip) on your lap. (James does that high-pitched giggle thing and sits on Gypsy's chair, where she takes her place on his lap.) Brock: Hey, Nikita, wanna sit on my lap? (Gets slapped) Ow! ...Wjat about you, Erika? (Gets slapped) Ow! You girls are making my face really sore today! Nikita: Let's make him sore til tommarow too, Erika! Brock: Nooooo! Erika: Then quit being a prick! Brock: ARRG! I just don't understand women! Nikita: And women don't understand you! Gypsy: I think he has problems with comitment. Brock: Oh yeah? Well it must be even harder if you're bi! Gypsy: Now you eave my sexuality out of this, you pig! James: Hey, lay off, Brock! Brock: Sorry! Sorry! James: But since he brought it up, Gypsy, will you do me a favor? Gypsy: Name it. James: As long as we're going out, don't hit on Cassidy. Gypsy: Consider it done. Brock: I don't get it! James, how come girls fall all over themselves for you, but I can't get a date? James: Dude, you try to hard! Oh, and here-(tosses him a rose)-Chicks dig these. Brock: Cool! I just hope no one thinks I'm gay too. Nikita: Impossible. James: Gay? I hate that rumour! Gypsy: Don't worry, as long as you're going out with me, no one will ever say it again! James: Aw! You're such a sweetheart! Giovanni: James... James: EEP! Yeah, Boss? Giovanni: Why are you here? Why aren't you out doing your JOB? Where's Jessie? James: I had to talk to Gypsy! Jessie is, um... around. Giovanni: Around?... James: (Lowers his head) I ditched her. Nikita: Ohhh, is she going to be mad at you! Giovanni: Screw Jessie, I'M mad at him! You're in enough trouble without playing hooky! James: (Hops up- Gypsy spills over)I'll go find her! I'll get back to work! Giovanni: Damn straight you will! James: Yes Boss! I'm on my way,Boss!(Bowing , backing away) Gypsy: Oh-I'll meet you outside, James! James: Right! Bye!(Exits) Gypsy: (Sighs happily) I'm so glad he stopped by! Erika: Me too! That was beautiful! Giovanni: He is in SO much trouble! Ricia: Oh, lighten up! He did it out of love! Giovanni: Pfft! Ricia: I feel sorry for you. Giovanni: Don't bother. Nikita: What about you, Erika? Do you have a boyfreind? Erika: Me? No, I'm too busy right now, what with the Gym and the store and all. Giovanni: You see? SHE understands! Erika: Oh yes. It's hard to have a social life. Giovanni: It's all work, work, work. Not that I mind it. Erika: Oh, me nither. But you know what they say, all work and no play makes Erika a dull girl. Or, Giovanni a dull boy. Giovanni: Oh, yes. You know, you smell really nice. Erika: (Blushes) Thank you. The purfume is called "Petchoulli". Nikita: Isn't that a lesbian purfume? Gypsy: I've got some. Ricia: I don't like this... Giovanni: Would you want to get some coffe some time? Erika: I would love too! Ricia: HEY! HEY! Nikita: Aw, poor Ricia. But you must admit, they have alot in common. (Suddenly Blaine's ropes snap and he jumps up) Blaine: I'M FREE! Hasta la vista, ladies!(Bolts) Gypsy and Nikita: OH NO!! Brock: THATS why he's been so quiet! He's been sawing away at the ropes! (All three Angus' chase after Blaine, Brock follows, Erika and Giovanni are left alone.) Even more! Back