LOCAL RANT

In a couple of days I’ll be temporarily leaving for pastures greener so I thought I’d leave you with a little blog. Seeing as it’s geared toward local people, the majority of you probably won’t be interested, but here goes anyway. And what better to leave you with than a good old rant.

Rant One:

So one day little Johnny tells mommy and daddy he wants to ride his tricycle up and down Ogden Canyon. They get in the car and drive to the Canyon to take a look. The first thing they spot, right at the entrance to the Canyon, is a sign which says: NARROW SHOULDER. PEDS AND CYCLISTS NOT RECOMMENDED NEXT FIVE MILES.

Real close to that is another sign which says: SHARP CURVES. NARROW ROADWAY NEXT FIVE MILES.

And there’s another one further on down the road: LIMIT SIGHT DISTANCE.

About halfway down the Canyon they see another sign.  This one says: NARROW SHOULDER. PEDS AND CYCLISTS NOT RECOMMENDED NEXT TWO AND A HALF MILES MILES

Before they get far along 12^th Street they turn around and head back. There, at the entrance to the Canyon, is a sign which says:  NARROW SHOULDER. PEDS AND CYCLISTS NOT RECOMMENDED NEXT FIVE MILES.

About halfway up the Canyon they see another sign. This one says: NARROW SHOULDER. PEDS AND CYCLISTS NOT RECOMMENDED NEXT TWO AND A HALF MILES MILES

“Can I ride my tricycle now?” Johnny asks when they get back to the top of the Canyon. “Can I can I?’

“I don’t see why not,” says Daddy. “The signs don’t say you can’t ride your tricycle in the Canyon. What do do you think, Mommy?

“Johnny,” says Mommy, “we need to talk. You see, although I think most people in their cars are respectful to kids on tricycles, unfortunately some are not. The Canyon road is awful narrow and they get impatient when they’re stuck behind a tricycle and can’t go around it. Sometimes they do go around it when they shouldn’t, and they can get really close to the tricycle. Then there could be an accident. They might hit the tricycle with their car. And some motorist just don’t notice tricycles. I know they should, but they don’t, and they could hit you and your tricycle, too.”

“But that would be their fault,” says little Johnny.

“It surely would,” Mommy replies. “But that won’t make no difference to you when you’re lying on the side of the road with your legs broken. And think about those great big cement mixers and all the other construction vehicles which come down the Canyon way too fast, especially around the Narrows.”

“They’d get into big trouble if they hit me,” Johnny said.

“They surely would,” Mommy agreed. “But you won’t have to worry about that when you and your tricycle are a smear in the middle of the road.”

So, am I comparing cyclists in Ogden Canyon to toddlers on tricyles? Definitely not. Am I saying they have about the same degree of common sense? Definitely.

Rant Two:

There are three communities in the Ogden Valley: Liberty, Eden and Huntsville. For the guy at the Eden Maverick, talking into his cell phone, no, you were not in Huntsville. You were in EDEN. Huntsville does not fill the entire valley.

Rant Three:

Road works. Construction here. Construction there, construction construction everywhere. I’m probably the last of you all to complain about it, but come on now! What bright spark decided to do construction on Harrison, Washington, 12^th Street etc etc all at the same time? You can’t drive anyplace in Ogden and not run into construction. And isn't it TOTALLY FRUSTRATING when the road is narrowed down by orange cones and NOT ONE PERSON IS THERE ACTUALLY DOING ANY CONSTRUCTION WORK!

Rant Four:

If you are visiting the Valley, particularly the Nordic Valley area, do not let your kids wander around in the undergrowth. What looks like the back country to you is actually someone’s property. If I see a kid with a BB rifle walking through my property, eyeing MY birds and MY squirrels, he's going to lose that rifle.

Rant Five:

When I walk my little dogs I carry a retractable night stick. If your dog(s) come charging at us, snarling and snapping, I will use my stick on them. That will be almost as painful to me as to your dogs because I love dogs, all dogs, even ones who act mean, because generally that behavior if not their fault but the fault of their people. But if I have to use my stick to protect myself and my Scotties, I will.

Except if it's those two big Dobermans, or the Killer Beagle, or that gigantic Malamute . . . if they come out I'll be running in the other direction.

And everyone have a nice summer!

Posted by linda_english at 5:19 PM EDT

Updated: Saturday, 30 May 2009 10:51 AM EDT

Share This Post

Post Comment | Permalink

Mood:  bright

My goodness it's been a while since I was here. So, what has been happening?

My review of Tales of a Texas Boy by Marva Dasef went live on Lulu Book Review on May 14th. I think she liked the review. Take a look:

Tales of a Texas Boy

Changes are coming to LLBR on June 1st and I think followers of LLBR will like and approve of them. And I am not just referring to the new web page.

I have been keeping up with my Facebook friends, my friends on the Lulu forums, my emails (almost) and writing. My big news is I have taken The Demon Hunters off the market. The more I looked over it, the more I realized I could do a lot better. Plus, although Along Came a Demon is a novella, I want The Demon Hunters to be a novel. The word count as per novella and as per novel seems to vary according to the source of the information, but I believe the designation "novel" is assigned to works over 50,000 words. The Demon Hunters was around 47,000 and I have already increased that to just over 49,000 and I'm only on the fifth chapter revision. I think it will end up well over 60,000, probably a lot more. I am putting more detail, more atmosphere into it, and tying up some loose ends, explanations which were not given in Along Came a Demon. Such as, why did Royal transfer to Clarion PD, of all places?

My date of departure for England is fast approaching and I have actually made my first "to take" list which seems to contain, from looking, at it a lot more than my suitcase will hold. No doubt I'll cram it all in.

I am visiting England to see my family but the trip also serves another purpose. Although I am working on The Demon Hunters, I do not forget that a good part of the plot for the next in the series, Demon on a Distant Shore, takes place in England. A refresher course will be very helpful.

I have also had the third Systems novel printed up. This is Metamorphosis: part one of Heroes and Heroines. The book looks good but I am refraining from going through it yet again. I will let my editor go over it. She prefers to look at a finished work, not a manuscript, so the book is going off to her the end of this week. I hope I don't have to do too many revisions, but if I do, well, that's all part of writing and turning out a good product.

On a personal front, my Scottie Angus had a suspicious lump removed from his neck last week. We haven't got the results from the lab yet but we are hopeful. He is doing well, apart from playing the poor, long-suffering, abused pet and letting us know that by refusing to eat his food. However, he wolfs down liver treats, jerky,biscuits and his evening yogurt so I don't think anything is wrong with him. His brother, Duncan, had another siezure a couple of days ago when we were out walking. This is the first, that I know of, since a year ago and I had hoped he'd never suffer another one. Tests found nothing physically abnormal so the diagnosis is probably epilepsy, which is generally the diagnosis when nothing physically wrong can be found.

I am looking forward to seeing my mum and sister, and my niece who lives in Brighton. Have you ever been to Brighton? I love the place. I have not yet seen another city that comes close to Brighton's diversity. If I ever went back to live in England, that's where I would be.

Ciao for now.

Posted by linda_english at 5:42 PM EDT

Updated: Monday, 18 May 2009 2:33 PM EDT

Share This Post

Post Comment | View Comments (1) | Permalink

Yesterday I joined fReado and put Along Came a Demon and The Demon Hunters up on there. They have a marvellous utility called Bookbuzzr which creates a preview of your books, author information/profile, links etc and you can imbed it on your website and communities such as Facebook. I've already had more views of the books in a few hours than anywhere else I have publisized the books, and I've also previewed a lot of other books on there. It couldn't be easier. fReado lists books from self-published and traditionally published authors (eg Charlaine Harris) and is an easy way to preview without driving down to the local bookstore. As my little community doesn't have a bookstore, and there is only one small bookstore in the nearest city, fReado is an ideal resource for me. I wish I'd done this ages ago.

I also reactivated my Facebook account. I started it up a year ago, decided I didn't have time to mess with it, so deactivated it. Well, there I am again. I don't know how I'm going to find time to keep up with all of my online activities now that the warm weather has arrived and I need to get out in the garden before the weeds overgrow it, and I should do something about the dust balls floating across my floors, and at least neaten up the stacks of paperwork in my office. TV? Don't have time.

I'll be off to England the beginning of June, or, as my Brit friends say - going across the pond. To keep my sanity I am taking my laptop. my new wireless mouse and my new personal digital recorder so I can keep writing. Unfortunately I won't have access to the internet FOR TWO WEEKS! Agh!

To think, I used to think "roughing it" meant sleeping in a tent.

Posted by linda_english at 11:44 AM EDT

Updated: Friday, 8 May 2009 11:46 AM EDT

Share This Post

Post Comment | View Comments (1) | Permalink

I wish this weather would make up its mind! Sun, wind, rain, hail, snow. Sun comes out, I put the boots and winter coat away, and I do believe I jinx myself! Back comes the cold and snow. I am thankful it does not settle and what's already there is melting fast.

Had a very productive couple of days. I made revisions to The Demon Hunters, and an adjustment to the cover. I finished editing my third Systems novel, Metamorphosis, and it is now being printed. Next step, when I receive it, will be to send it off to my editor for a look over. I like the cover on this one.

I also came up with a new character for Demon on a Distant Shore, which actually makes the title more appropriate. In Malad, Idaho, last Sunday, just bought the lottery tickets and was having breakfast at Me And Lou's, and the idea just popped into my head. So there I was doing a JK Rowling, scribbling on napkins.

Next month I have to change mind-set to the "preparing for the England trip." Making lists, checking them twice. Getting dogs their shots. Getting hair cut. Cleaning house (shriek!.) Thinking about what I have to do at work to prepare for my absence.

I will really miss Tweeting and emailing and participating in the Lulu forums. Unfortunately my satellite service is limited to the Ogden Valley so no internet while in England. But I'm not gone yet, a few weeks to go, so I had best get typing!

Posted by linda_english at 5:03 PM EDT

Updated: Wednesday, 29 April 2009 5:15 PM EDT

Share This Post

Post Comment | Permalink

Mood:  cool

I have been hard at work these past couple of days. I am now about halfway through Demon on a Distant Shore and struggling with it. I have the plot laid out from one significant event to another but filling in the in between bits is not coming easy. I tend to get inspiration at the wrong time, like when I'm just getting into bed, or have just turned off the computer for the day, then I have to take notes but sometimes I'm so tired I can barely read my own scratchings the next morning. I would like to make this a book size work instead of novella length but for some reason Tiff likes a shorter story. She is an awkward girl!

I also changed my domain name to something simpler. Really, the longer name was a result of ignorance of what I was doing when I created my web site. It's the same site but the address is now lindasworlds.net. Of course, if you found this you already know that! I also want to redesign my site but that will come later.

Yesterday I gave away some copies of Along Came a Demon to a couple of a friend's friends. I was happily suprised when the wife of one phoned this evening to say she had already read the book and loved it. Also, I had an email from a friend who bought Whisperings (book one and two in one volume.) She said:

"I finished your book last weekend and just haven't written yet. I just wanted to say, "WELL DONE." I was absoultely captivated and the story was great. I read it all night friday and all day saturday. It wasn't a very productive weekend for me, but it was a very well spent weekend. I had no idea how creative your little brain was. I am so proud of you and wish you success in making writing a career. You obviously have a gift. Can't wait to read more."

This is particularly pleasing because this is one very smart lady who does not give unwarranted praise.

My next step will be to put Along Came a Demon out for distribution and when it comes up on Amazon put some press releases on Free- Press-Release.com and prlog.org. and put it on Tag My Book On Amazon. I'll be handing out copies and asking people to read them and pass them on, and leaving copies at local coffee shops. I am also making up bookmarks. In fact, I intend to do a whole lot of things to promote once I get an ISBN on the book.

So I am feeling pretty good about the whole writing thing right now. AND, the damn snow has almost melted away! Can't get any better than this.

Posted by linda_english at 12:39 AM EDT

Updated: Saturday, 25 April 2009 12:45 AM EDT

Share This Post

Post Comment | View Comments (1) | Permalink

Yesterday my boss gave me a copy of the Costco Connection. “There’s an article in there about writing and self-publishing – I thought it might be helpful to you.” The article, by Paul Lima, mentioned several print-on-demand (POD) options for writers and Paul went with Lulu.com. It didn't tell me anything I did not already know because I’ve been using Lulu.com for a couple of years now.

     Many still say POD is little better than vanity-publishing but just as many now agree that when major publishers rarely accept manuscripts from “unknowns” , POD is the way to go. It gets your novel out there. Although some POD charge an upfront fee, Lulu does not. You get an online store where people can view your book and if they wish, order it. If you do opt to pay a reasonable fee for expanded distribution your book will be listed on online sites such as Amazon and Barnes and Noble. Some authors have been picked up by publishers; some books do appear in traditional book stores. It can come down to how much hard work you want to put into promoting your book.

     Online sites which review POD books are also becoming well known, sites such as The Lulu Book Review, which has no affiliation with Lulu.com but does review Lulu published books. And the New Podler, which reviews POD and mainstream books.

     The Lulu Book Review asked me to be a guest reviewer! Pretty neat, huh? They gave me a list of books and let me choose and I wonder if they were a little surprised by my choice. My usual reading material is science fiction, fantasy, urban fantasy, psi-thriller, but I opted for a historical novel.

     I have been a fan of historical fiction since I read the books of Eleanor Hibbert. Now, Eleanor wrote under a whole slew of pseudonyms. As Victoria Holt she wrote Gothic romance. As Philippa Carr she wrote her massive “Daughters of England” series. She wrote nonfiction and crime stories under other pseudonyms. I learned more of the history of the British monarchy from the “fictionalized history” she wrote as Jean Plaidy than I did from school history text books. History text books were dry and boring – Plaidy’s novels were/are entertaining and they are woven around true events which she meticulously researched, based on the works of leading historians. I had no problem committing to memory the events of which Jean Plaidy wrote even though I skimmed over those same events in the "history books."

     The book I chose to review is not totally unknown to me. I noticed it on the “Tag My Book on Amazon” website and Amazon.com. It is set in an entirely different era and written in a style unlike Jean Plaidy’s but it is based on actual events and as such is historical fiction and, to me, very interesting indeed. I think my one problem with reviewing it will be keeping the wordage down.

     Now I had better stop waffling and go read a book.

Posted by linda_english at 11:20 AM EDT

Updated: Friday, 17 April 2009 7:49 PM EDT

Share This Post

Post Comment | Permalink

Mood:  hug me

I started the morning as the only guest at my own personal Pity Party. I received another of “those” letters, only in this case it was an email. I discovered that most literary agents now accept email queries so I’ve been sending off a few. In this case, I followed the agent’s guidelines very carefully.

            1) Describe type of book.

            2) A three-sentence summation of the story.

            3) How book came to be written and what people think of it.

            4) Literary credentials (degrees, newspaper and/or magazine articles, and if you personally know any authors published by a major publishing house!?!?!?!)

1) and 2), fairly easy although limited by her requirements. 3): I explained that my work had been very well received by the writing community of which I am proud to be a member. I added links to my previews and reviews. 4)  I don’t have any literary credentials. Her reply: “Not my kind of thing, but thanks for the look.”

            “Not my kind of thing.” Hey, lady, I happen to know you publish two authors who write in my preferred genre (i.e. psi-thriller, urban fantasy, etc.) “Thanks for the look.” Yeah, I bet you took a look.

            From there on it was a downward spiral. Nobody supports me. My husband does not support me. My friends do not support me. My co-workers do not support me. My husband shows absolutely no interest at all in my writing. The most I get from my friends and co-workers is, “You wrote a book? Cool!” And this is not for want of plugging it to all and sundry.

            I thought about the fact that if you know a successful, nationally published author, you have a foot in the door. I know some very good authors, but like me they are self-published. Which brings me to Richard Paul Evans.

            In 1993 Rick wrote The Christmas Box for his daughters. He never intended to be the internationally know, best-selling author he is today. When his friends saw his story they told him he should publish it, so he had 20 copies printed and handed them out, and his friends passed them around. Pretty soon he was getting inquiries from book stores and a major publishing house was happy to take him on. He now has his own publishing house and has published 20 novels and instructional books. My absolute favorite is The Dance, of which, along with The Christmas Box, I have signed copies.

            Yes, I know Richard Paul Evans – sort of. Richard – or Rick, to those of us who know him – sort of – wanted to give back to the community and built the very first Christmas Box House in Salt Lake City, and created a foundation to raise money to build and support more Christmas Box Houses. I work in the Ogden Christmas Box House. What is a Christmas Box House? It is a building that houses social service agencies, primarily Division of Child and Family Services shelters for children who have been removed from their homes due to abuse and/or neglect. Before the Christmas Box Houses came into being, these children were housed in state shelters that while they did the job weren’t exactly warm, comforting environments, and children were constantly being shuttled to other agencies that provide the special services that abused children need. The Christmas Box House shelter is very kid-friendly and all the services those kids need – apart from school, which they still have to bus to - come to them. Rick is still involved on a personal level: on Christmas Day he and his family spend most of the day in one of the shelters, interacting with the children there. The Christmas Box House also houses other agencies involved in child welfare. In the Ogden Christmas Box House we have the Foster Care Foundation and the Family Support Center of Ogden, both of which work with the children in the shelter. We pay utilities and a ridiculously low rent.

            Back to getting the word out – I’ve been going about it the wrong way. Like Rick Evans I need to have copies of my book printed and hand them out to everyone. The only reason I didn’t do that before now is that I’m the modern version of the poor artist living in a garret – I don’t have money to spare. But if people won’t purchase my books then dang-nabbit they’re going to get a free copy shoved down their throats.

            If you asked Richard Paul Evans if he knows author Linda Welch, he’d say, who? But if you asked him if he knows Linda who works for the Family Support Center of Ogden - you know, you tripped over her umbrella that time you were getting into her car – he would likely say yes. At least, I hope he would. So maybe next time I send a query to an agent maybe I should tell her or him I know Richard Paul Evans – sort of. In the meantime, I tell myself yet again that I write for the enjoyment of it, not for fame and fortune. And at least, when I wrote this Blog, something rose out of the ashes of my shattered ego.

And maybe I won't be renowned as an author (although I'm far from giving up on that) but perhaps, one day in the future, someone will say, "I remember when I was a kid and went to the Family Support Center - there was this nice lady named Linda Welch . . . " I can live with that.

Posted by linda_english at 2:03 PM EDT

Updated: Wednesday, 8 April 2009 6:01 PM EDT

Share This Post

Post Comment | View Comments (2) | Permalink

Mood:  don't ask

What a day. I’m almost too tired to write.  We had a ferocious storm last night – wind, snow, hail, thunder and lightning. I have never heard it before, but last night the wind must have been coming from an odd direction and screeched at my window, a really piercing noise, the whole night through. So I didn’t sleep much and finally gave up and got out of bed at 5 am. The dogs, sensible beings, stayed curled up in their little plaid beds until their breakfast time at 7 am.

Then, I logged online and found my review for Along Came a Demon by The Lulu Book Review, the review written by LK Gardner-Griffie. It’s a very nice review and I am really pleased. I have since sent emails with links to the LLBR site to just about everyone I know, although if they take as much notice as them as they did of all the emails announcing my other books, I could well have wasted my time. Oh well, as my mate would say, that’s the way the cookie crumbles.

I posted my little brag on the Lulu forums and had some nice response, and several people have not heard of the LLBR so I encouraged them to submit their books. I also wrote a review for Carol Townsend’s treasure of a book about her visit to Tobago, Caribbean Capers and Tropical Tantrums.

Did some Tweeting, and some emails, and now I am knackered. Think I’ll relax in front of the TV for a while. I would rather read or write but I think that would send me to sleep.

Posted by linda_english at 3:13 PM EDT

Updated: Sunday, 5 April 2009 6:54 PM EDT

Share This Post

Post Comment | Permalink

1. Beware of sheriffs. They drive white pick-up trucks and the light strip across the top is thin, flat and white, not colored and sticking up like on police cars. You won’t know it’s a sheriff parked back there until you shoot past 20 miles over the speed limit and see that little light strip and the writing on the side of the door. Sheriffs like to see you speed or not come to a full stop at the stop light because then they can turn on their siren and make their lights flash and give you a ticket and a stern warning. They have nothing else to do up here in the valley. We did have a crime wave of teens turning street signs in the wrong direction but that was years ago.

Posted by linda_english at 2:04 PM EDT

Updated: Tuesday, 31 March 2009 6:05 PM EDT

Share This Post

Post Comment | Permalink