River Valley
Who will save the River Valley? That's my drinking water.
This was once a sacred place, now look at what we've got here.
I'll pretend there isn't any problem, jus do my job.
And, If I don't like the standard of living, go move to Russia...

Me an' Pete went swimming last night, he's my friend from Boy Scouts.
All the fish were floating upright, we got scared, we got out.
Mother says don't play down where your father does his job
You know he's got to make a living, or move to Russia...

(This is my world, this is my world, don't make it go away
is it a crime, spending my time, dreaming of yesterday).

Meet me in the River Valley, you can tell me stories.
'Bout a time before pinstripe suits, Dippers, Grits and Tories

My mother sang the songs her mother taught her.
We'd be swimming out in cool, cool waters
and when she'd call us, from the yard,
running home, it felt like god...

Is your favorite place controlled by developing ambition?
Do you think you'll have some power signing a petition?
Are you fine with your surroundings? Are they gonna crumble?
I'm living in a River Valley, come and join me for a tumble.

High up above, see the cars above the viaduct
from sunrise to the last call - they push their luck.
And that would be fine
if the world was yours, and you were mine.

Who will save the River Valley?
Who will save the River Valley?
Who will save the River Valley?
Who will save the River Valley?


Stuck in the '90s
Clem had a daydream, a daydream from heaven
Picked up the headline, his country was made up of singers...
And no more right-wingers.

He wakes up to "homeless are stupid, welfare is stupid
Private investment, efficiency, cool fiscal plannin'"
Sounds like more Pat Buchanan.

Back in his day job this afternoon,
unlikely he'll go back to Cuba soon.
reluctant to find he's stuck in the '90s again

Clem reads of the old days, twenty years goes a long ways.
"Challenge the system!" relating is easy on a demo...
Now they'll send it by memo.

'Cause there's no need for the peace sign, post-republican "peacetime"
Join the parade, wave the flag, tell the world it's your lackey
Abbie Hoffman was wacky.

Riding the bike to his foreign car
Burning his mind in his VCR.
reluctant to find he's stuck in the '90s again
reluctant to find he's stuck in the '90s again

and he's lost...
Don't you know what it's like to be lost?
And older... "tears on his shoulder"
real men are BOLDER!!

Soon I'll be 30, I don't want to be 30.
I've got some big plans, goodwill has some big hands.
With each new computer screen, the world tells me I'm more green.
Buy a new Game-boy!
For the fun and the fashion... just for the passion.

Back in his day job this afternoon
Unlikely he'll move down to Cuba soon.
reluctant to find he's stuck in the '90s again
reluctant to find he's stuck in the '90s again

White lies, rich guys, hoarding a big prize
we've got jobs to do.
reluctant to find he's stuck in the '90s again


B.J. Don't Cry
From the Fruvous Quill comes a sorry tale of love and illin'
Romeo found the balcony too high, ended up with second billin'
She loved in triplicate, left his heart a blank to fill in
Lost his faith immaculate when Cupid became a villain.

CHORUS:
B.J. Don't cry no more,
Wonders what his heart is beating for.
He says he takes it much too hard,
Give my regards to B.J.

In a fit of rage, he threw down all her gifts and promises.
Sick and tired of hearing 'bout, those Harry, Dick and Thomases.
Banished her for life he did, right then and there, from the premises.
Once holy virgin queen, now on the scene, his nemesis.

CHORUS

He thought about his life, his heart began to rush,
He buried the crown, found a bucket and a brush,
B.J. paints town...

Now on the street our wounded soul is looking quite gregarial
Heart of tin has shed it's skin, given it a hefty burial.
As with logic, as with reason, as with Science actuarial
Rallied 'round the Fruvous flag,, burnt the kitchen, raised the aerial.

CHORUS

Turn it over little man,
He took a trip, B.J.'s on a train,
far, far away, but he'll be back again one rainy day.

So there we have a story lived in person told by proxy,
'Bout a mild mannered mannequin, every Sunday hit the Roxy.
Till there his own reflection, showed him his orthodoxy.
Now he hikes the Himalayas, stuffs his letters full of Moxie!

CHORUS


Video Bargainville
I have a college friend who
Says I can have one price for two
Just ask for Roger
At Video Bargainville

We can take a trip up to the corner, it's not too far especially in the car
there's a friendly store, with nice decor, and lots of posters on the door.
Once past the counter and the news stand, with a free bag of popcorn in your hand
You're ready for the world - no... not the band, but a fine selection in video land.

Don't be too confused by the little reviews
on the back of the boxes, just pick up the boxes, al the boxes you can use.
The hipedi - hoppest in the land
Maybe something foreign, maybe something panned, maybe something formerly banned.

Perhaps it's something you can watch with friends, or something that inevitably lends
itself to shapely curves and bends of exploited women and their friends.
Perhaps it's "New York, New York" with Liza Minnelli and Mickey Rourke
No. That's not right... it was Robert DeNiro, everyone's favourite video hero.

I have a college friend who
Says I can have one price for two
Just ask for Roger
At Video Bargainville

So contrary to the desperate sign, most patrons always "Please Rewind!"
And the clerks don't mind, they're very kind, the only stickler has resigned.
There's a courteous smoking section in the back, behind the bulging exercise video rack,
and if you're tired, you can hit the sack with a trendy, new Ben-Hur Disco Double Pack.

I have a college friend who
Says I can have one price for two
Just ask for Roger
At Video Bargainville

Once we had a friend, was too extravagant
was not a Bargainville fan, pissed off the video man!
Soon there will be 'program-your-own' TV, so they ask you to heed this final plea,
before it's all dead you should go rent more, and enjoy video bargains galore!!

I have a college friend who
Says I can have one price for two
Just ask for Roger
At Video Bargainville


Fell In Love
Something I never would have known,
not knowing knowledge never ennobles.
All her ideas were like smoke rings, I had to know things
She was a tangle of questions.
How many eggs make up a pound?
How many ears of corn in the niblets?
I was a person who would sensor "Pee Wee's Adventure"
She was exceedingly liberal.

And we fell in love,
and the sunshine shone from the sunshine above.
Fell in love, whole loaf love.

Try not to think while you're inside,
just keep your wide eyes wide, wide open.
I made a meal of the lighting, this was exciting,
we had a real urban drama.
She always said it again.
Just when she's said it, that's when she'd say it. (How's that again?)
She said my pasta was delicious, bit repetitious,
that kind of thing made me crazy.

And we fell in love,
and the sunshine shone from the sunshine above.
Fell in love, whole loaf love.

Take a look around. The sun has gone down,
and I've had a good time, have you had a good time?
I've loved without loss, I've put down my cross,
You know what I know, an' I'm goin' go.

She set my schoolhouse on fire.
Down in the fire, the angels are singing.
Notice a beautiful fire, heavenly choir.


The Lazy Boy
I have a life of pleasure,
I am submerged in armchair leisure.
I put my feet on the ottoman (empire).

Here in a world of turmoil,
I have my comfort in control
and the answer's reclining (It's obvious).

Here I sit and here I say (the lazy boy)
"Hello to U.S.A. today!" (the lazy boy)
Dollywood and Billy Ray (the lazy boy)
A place to pass the time away (the lazy boy)

Here I keep tabs on Euro-stocks
I have a stereo that rocks,
and I take calls in the bathtub (it's cellular)

There is a console to my right,
with re-runs of Charlie's Angels every night.
I can't keep track of the blond one (the third one)

Here I sit and here I say (the lazy boy)
"Hello to U.S.A. today!" (the lazy boy)
Dollywood and Billy Ray (the lazy boy)
A place to pass the time away (the lazy boy)

AT the end of the day it's the chair I trust,
where the cushion is comfy and the works don't rust,
with a straight line of vision to my Elvis bust
watch the Kingdom, eat the bread crust.
Fine all the time is the way I feel,
cracking the code on the "Let's Make a Deal!"
I can change my world 'cause my boy's on wheels
improve your lifestyle, you must get real!

I was a down and out Canuck,
But now I have put my faith in lazy luck,
since they removed all the barriers. (49th parallel)

Here I sit and here I say (the lazy boy)
"Hello to U.S.A. today!" (the lazy boy)
Dollywood and Billy Ray (the lazy boy)
A place to pass the time away (the lazy boy)


My Baby Loves a Bunch of Authors
Well you should see my story reading baby, you should hear the things that she says,
she says, "Hon, drop dead, I'd rather go to bed with Gabriel Garcia Marquez."
Cuddle up with William S. Burrows, leave on the light for bell hooks,
I been flirtin' with Pierre Burton 'cause he's so smart in his books.

I like to go out dancing,
My baby loves a bunch of authors
My heart's so broke and bleedin'
Baby's just sittin' there, doin' some readin'

So I started watchin' some TV, played my new CD player too,
she said, "Turn it off or I'll call the cops and I'll throw the book at you."
All this arguing made me get dizzy, called my doctor to come have a look.
I said, "Doctor, hurry." She said, "Don't worry, I'll be over when I finish my book."

I like to go out dancing,
My baby loves a bunch of authors
We've been living in hovels,
Spending all our money on brand new novels

So I got myself on the streetcar and it ran right into someone.
The driver said, "I was looking straight ahead!" But he was reading the Toronto Sun
So my honey made me go to a counselor, to help figure out what we need.
She said, "We'll get your love growin', but before we get goin',
here's some books I'd like you to read."

I like to go out dancing,
My baby loves a bunch of authors
Lately we've had some friction
'cause my baby's hooked on short works of fiction

So we split and went to a party, some friends my wife said she knew.
But what a sight, 'cause it's authors night, and the place looks like a who's who
Now I'm poundin' the ouzo - with Mario Puzo
Who's a funny fella? - W.P. Kinsella
Who brought the cat? - would Margaret Atwood?
Who needs a shave? - he's Robertson Davies!
Ondaatje started a food fight, salmon mousse all over the scene
spilled some dressing on Doris Lessing, these writer types are a scream!

I like to go out dancing,
My baby loves a bunch of authors
We'll be together for ages
Eatin' and sleepin' and turnin' pages


The Drinking Song
CHORUS:
And the band played on,
as the helicopters whirred.
Drunk on the lawn in a nuclear dawn,
my senses finally blurred.

He was a rock, till the end a solid reminder
couldn't deny a friend.
We lived in the noise and the sweet amber poison,
peekin' up the skirt of the end.
And we'd drink, two gnarly dudes and some records,
much like plates of black food.
We filled up our faces, saw some far places,
stood on the roof in the nude.

CHORUS

Between poles, he said "we're like cows in the grass"
brushin' off flies.
Chaise lounging around, standing up, falling down,
till we no longer opened our eyes.
And we'd drink. Ever notice how drinking's like war?
Cup o' troops o'er the gums.
To the end of our health, a campaign 'gainst myself,
armed with bourbons and scotches and rums.

CHORUS

Think of bombs. We're poised on the edge of disaster,
whether it's right or it's wrong,
we opened the window, played some Nintendo,
sang a few bars of some pretty old song:

Irene goodnight, Irene goodnight,
Goodnight Irene, goodnight Irene,
I'll see you in my dreams.

Oh to dream. Those impotent bones of extinction,
flying graceful and free.

None but the best, 'cause the man cannot rest,
till he's finally beat his me.

CHORUS

Till the end. He passed out on the sundeck that morning,
quietly saying goodbye.
But I was so hammered, I sputtered and stammered,
told him he couldn't just die.
He was a rock, went straight for his own Armageddon
face froze in a grin.
Ambulance flyin' in, I never drank again,
can't really call that a loss or a win...

CHORUS


Morphee
Longue journee,
Qui s'acheve dans une chambre foncee.
J'entends au loin les sirenes
qui comme une vague me tire, m'amenent.
Chez Morphee,
Emerveille.

Ce doux piege,
ou les gammes en delire s'arpegent.
M'emport si loindes villes,
et je fuis, je fuis les espadrilles du privilege.
Beau sortilege.

On solde les vieux pays au marche des gorilles.
Cache dans les bras de Morphee, je regne, Nemo en exile.
Sur mes reves fragiles.


King of Spain
Once I was the King of Spain (now I eat humble pie).
Oh... my unspeakable wife Queen Lisa (now I eat humble pie).
I'm tellin' you I was the King of Spain (now I eat humble pie).
An' now I work at the Pizza Pizza. (One two three four!).

Royalty, lord it looked good on me,
buried in silk in the royal boudoir, or going nuclear free,
or playing crokinole with the princess of Monaco,
Telling my jokes to the Opec leaders, getting it all on video.

Once I was the King of Spain (now I eat humble pie).
A palatial palace, that was my home (now I eat humble pie).
I'm telling you I was the King of Spain (now I eat humble pie).
An' now I vacuum the turf at Skydome.

I can't wait, I'm lowering interest rate, my people say:
"King, how are you such a genius?"
"There's a roof overhead and food on our plates!"
It's laissez faire, I don't even give a care,
let's make Friday part of the weekend
and give every new baby a chocolate eclair.

Once I was the King of Spain (now I eat humble pie).
Hey Clinton! Hey Yeltsin! Got problems? You phone me (now I eat humble pie).
I'm telling you I was the King of Spain (now I eat humble pie).
An' now the Leafs call me up to drive the zamboni!

You see late, one night, when the palace was asleep.
Out of my royal chambers and into the garden I creep.
And I wait, until the appointed time, when the moon is lighting the pitch,
at which point my peasant friend, who looks just like me,
arrives and we make a switch!
Prince and pauper, junior and whopper
world made up of silver and copper,
under my own volition, I took a change of position.
So next time, you drool in the pizza line,
remember slower pizza's more luscious,
the King of Spain never rushes!!!

Once I was the King of Spain (now I eat humble pie).
I was looking for off-handed ways to improve us (now I eat humble pie).
I'm telling you I was the King of Spain (now I eat humble pie).
An' now I'm jamming with Moxy Fruvous!


Darlington Darling
Down the line, comin' down the line, a V6 Merc in blue.
Without the sparks or distributor cap, I'll slap them on as it rides through.
8 to 4, on the assembly floor, watching V6 Mercs slide through.
I can drive and she can drive, but this car's made for you.

I'd like to buy her one.
(Where you gonna get the money son)
I'd like to buy her two.
(But you'll never find the right bijou)
I'd like to buy her three.
(But you're working in a factory)
Yes I'd like to buy her more
Than this blue collar can afford

Down the line, Chipper down the line's got a cottage down on Scugogg
Last Christmas bash, he spent all his cash plyin' Mr. Bewdley with eggnog.
He got the raise, an' from what he says he'll have his love nest paid off soon.
I got the keys, but my girlfriend, she's not off 'til Sunday noon.

I'd like to buy her one.
(Where you gonna get the money son)
I'd like to buy her two.
(But you'll never find the right bijou)
I'd like to buy her three.
(But you're working in a factory)
Yes I'd like to buy her more
Than this blue collar can afford

In Darlington, lies my darling one - she fills my thoughts each day.
Half a mile, from the cooling tower, I sure hope that she's okay.

I'd like to buy her one.
(Where you gonna get the money son)
I'd like to buy her two.
(But you'll never find the right bijou)
I'd like to buy her three.
(But you're working in a factory)
Yes I'd like to buy her more
Than this blue collar can afford


Bittersweet
Now all the planes have landed
and the soldiers are in their beds.
Smoke rises from their clothing
and sweet dreams through their heads.

Truth faced leaves a strange taste,
when joy and sadness meet.
A country rain, on a city street,
this life is bittersweet.

The boy with the bloated belly,
hears today's mail arrive.
Puts down his baby sister
and makes his way outside.

Truth faced leaves a strange taste,
when joy and sadness meet.
A country rain, on a city street,
this life is bittersweet.

Everyone's a novelist
and everyone can sing.
But no one talks when the TV's on...

The lightning flashed, and the thunder rolled
dark clouds filled the sky.
A country rain on a city street,
this life is bittersweet.


Laika
When I was 3, my mother said to me,
eat up your greens and say your grace.
While on TV they put a dog in space,
and left her there, you should have seen her face.

When I was 5, the dream was still alive,
and Walter Cronkite said: "One day we'll earn our daily bread,
conducting things in outer space."
But still on earth I thrive... and you pretend I'm not alive
and walk by with my substitute
while I fasten the oxygen valve
on my space suit

When I was 8, we shard a cloakrack - it was great,
and I pretended there was so much on my plate.
I had a speech to write, about moonshot trajectory
and during phonics class, perfected my delivery.
Now the band plays "Hail to the chief"
while my capsule's out floating by some
tropical reef.

All the experts can agree on, regarding your motives
in the cape Canaveral crash... is that they know nothing
it puzzles me so...

Now I"m full grown, an' I've a spacecraft of my own.
But there you sit, still on your earthly throne.
Hey Darling, throw this 'space-pup' a bone,
don't touch that dial, don't hang up that phone.


Spiderman
Spiderman, Spiderman
Friendly neighborhood Spiderman
Is he strong? Listen bud,
He's got radioactive blood
Hey there (where?)
there goes the Spiderman

Spiderman, Spiderman
Does whatever a spider can
Shooby Doo, rock steady crew
Find him an octoped ingenue
With flair (hair!)
there goes the Spiderman

In the heat of night at the scene of crime
With the speed of light he arrives just in time

Well, no red-blooded boy or girl would miss this Saturday's
appearance of Spiderman down at the local county fair, unless,
of course, they're at home with their collections.

Spiderman's master plan
Build his own little spider clan
In the woods, now they're troops
Fighting for special interest groups
Look out(where?)
wherever there's a bang (there!)
You'll find a great big hang (scare!)
You'll find the Spiderman!

My spider sense is tingling
Heh, heh, it sure is, in such films as:
Spidey Goes Speed Racing
Spidey Hawaii
Spidey's Girl
Spidey, My Pal
Spidey, The Under Water Adventure Seeker
Spidey, The Fun Licker
Spidey, A Drink For All Ages


Gulf War Song
We got a call to write a song about the war in the gulf,
but we shouldn't hurt anyone's feelings.
So we tried, then gave up, 'cause there was no such song.
But the trying was very revealing.
What makes a person so poisonous righteous
that they'd think less of anyone who just disagreed?
She's just a pacifist, he's just a patriot,
if I said you were crazy would you have to fight me?

Fighters for liberty, fighters for power.
Fighters for longer turns in the shower.
Don't tell me I can't fight 'cause I'll punch out your lights.
And history seems to agree, that I would fight you for me.

So we read and we watched all the specially selected news.
And we learned so much more 'bout the good guys.
Won't you stand by the flag? Is the question unasked.
Won't you join in and fight with the allies?
What could we say... we're only 25 years old?
With 25 sweet summers and hot fires in the cold.
This kind of life makes that violence unthinkable,
we'd like to play hockey, have kids and grow old.

Fighters for Texaco, fighters for power.
Fighters for longer turns in the shower.
Don't tell me I can't fight 'cause I'll punch out your lights.
And history seems to agree, that I would fight you for me.
That us would fight them for we...

He's just a peacenik and she's just a warhawk.
That's where the beach was, that's where the sea.
What could we say... we're only 25 years old?
And history seems to agree, that I would fight you for me.
That us would fight them for we.
Is that how it always will be?

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