Green Eggs and Ham
Hey kids, listen up if you want to be sick
'Cause your dinner looks like something from a Cronenburg flick
Think twice before you cuss and shout "damn damn damn"
Let me tell you a story about green eggs and ham.

There was a little yellow man called Sam-I-Am
That's me!
I don't like you, Sam-I-Am
Well do you like green eggs and ham?
I do not like green eggs and ham

Would you like them here or there?
I wouldn't like them anywhere
You know I could see you in a house,
eating green eggs and ham with a mouse.
Maybe you can't hear, you got something in your ear?
No
I'm gonna make this perfectly clear
I would not like them house-wise here,
I would not like them mouse-wise there
You think you can convince me Sam? Um hmm?
Not for me, Green Eggs and Ham.

What is with you, this is some lean cuisine
No it's not, it's some green cuisine.

Well, would you could you in a car,
eat them, don't deny who you are
You're gonna like them, you're gonna see
You might like them up in a tree

No, not in a tree, not in a car, would you let me be
No house no mouse, not here or there
Cause you got the problem, Sam
and I do not care for a jellied spam,
I do not like green eggs and ham.

A train, a train, a train, a train! Would you, could you in a train
Or up in an aeroplane?
How 'bout in the dark? We could drive and park
We could listen to the crickets and the pit bulls bark

No, not in a plane, not in the dark,
not on a train, not in a car, not up a tree
'Cause I don't like 'em, Sam,
Not in a schoolhouse or a shoebox with a house-mouse or a red fox
Not here, there, and everywhere
Didn't even like the Beatles with their long, long hair.
Hey! You lay off the Beatles, buddy...
I'll lay on whoever I want, buddy
Don't buddy me... buddy.

Well, you don't like green eggs and ham
Oh, Mr. Perception, Sam-I-Am
Well I know that you'd like 'em if you ate 'em with a goat!
Not with a goat in a coat by a moat.
Well would you could you on a boat
Tennyson wrote and I quote (oh please)
If you eat it you'll bloat and float like a boat,
I'm not interested in stuffing face in the rain, on a train,
I should introduce you to my friend pain

Not in the dark, not up a tree,
Not on your fine china with Earl Grey Tea
No boxes, foxes, houses, mouses, husbands and wives - no spouses!
Why you trying to make me eat that?
I don't like it, I wouldn't serve it to a cat
I said already, I don't like them, Sam-I-Am,
I do not like green eggs ham!

Mr. Cheese! You just think you don't like them, so you say
And he's beginning to remind me of Doris Day
You say you don't like this and you don't like that
Well you're starting to sound like a finicky cat
Just try them, try them, and you may find you like nothing better than
Two greenish eggs over easy in the fry-pan
And to accompany this fine taste we have Martian ham - pork from space!

Sam, if you get out of my face
I'll try that and puke all over the place (good!)
Nothing makes a crowd disperse more quick
Than a great big puddle of sick!

He's gonna try them (get back)
Gimme that!
He tried em'
He's gonna spew chunks!
Say...(say??that's french!) Say! not bad, green eggs and ham
I believe I like them, Sam-I-Am
And I'd eat them in a boat, with a billy goat,
I'd eat them in the rain in the dark on a train
In a car, up a tree, they're pretty good, you see
So I'd eat them in a box with a fox
I'd eat them in a house and with the house-mouse
I'd eat them here, I'd eat them there
I'd eat them in my Calvin Klein underwear
I think you're ok, Sam-I-Am
Well, I wouldn't let you down, you stubborn old man!
Hey, we should share them, eh, we got enough
Are you kidding??

I don't eat that stuff!


Back to Lyrics Back Home