Sidestory: You Must Love Me

Notes: This is a song-side-story to my 6 part untitled series. Please read *after* you finished the other story for this would give away the ending…. Anyhow, enjoy.

Duo sat idly before his laptop sitting on his desk. He just couldn't let Sally know what was really going on. He wasn't telling his friends, didn't want them to know. /Everything would be too different if they knew. But… I just wish to see them again…/

He stood and walked from the room to enter the kitchen. The old hideout and home had been redone. He smiled proudly when looking about, remembering the dump it had been. /But what do I do now? Am I going to slip away silently and save them the pain? Or do I ease my pain and see them?/

Heero and Quatre came to him one day, stowing away from Relena. Duo reacted happily to seeing them though inside he wondered if they would figure out what was happening. He prayed they wouldn't.

At night he avoided them, his pain hitting him worst at those times. He covered his coughs in the pillows and let himself deal with it by himself. The next two months passed quickly and his chest began to feel heavy. One night he could no longer contain his coughing less he suffocated.

Quatre and Heero ran in. In that instant Duo realized what a mistake it was to have brought them in. He tried to keep them out, push them away. But they wouldn't leave. Despair creeped up on him on him and he locked himself away. Now that they knew, he refused to let him know how badly he was hurting.

Duo grinned and dragged Heero along down the crowded streets of the city. Heero allowed himself to be dragged along with a glower but a curiosity flickered in his eyes.

Heero forced the cell door open and stared coolly at the boy leaning limply against the wall. Duo gave a weak smile and struggled to a stand. The American closed his eyes in acceptance and waited. Heero's gun was level and the trigger began to tighten.

Suddenly a different gun flew out for Duo to catch. The American grinned cheekily and winked. Heero scowled and turned away.

Heero slammed the door on his way out and Duo hunched his shoulders up and he began to feel the tears form. Quatre and Wufei - finally arriving on L2 - watched on in silence that weighed the room down.

Duo closed in on himself, hiding the fear that began to gnaw in him as Sally informed him of the progressing poison. There wasn't going to be much more time. What was he supposed to do?

"You still do, ne?" Heero nodded carefully. "Hee-chan, arigatou for being here." Silence spread for a long time and very suddenly Duo pressed in against Heero's lips. The kiss was gentle but there was some desperate meaning behind it. Heero was completely startled and broke the kiss off early as he pushed himself and Duo back a few steps. The American had turned to be facing sideways and his hair was covering his bowed face.

"You- you're just… joking… right?!" Heero asked, stunned and not quite believing what had happened.

Duo lifted his head up quickly and Heero gasped painfully when he saw a few tears flying in the breeze. "Of course I'm joking!" Duo shouted before running towards the steps and down back into the building.

Duo ran blindly through L2 back to his house. He rushed inside and barely even noticed Trowa had arrived. Locking himself in his room, Duo collapsed onto the bed and began to cry. /Why can't I just tell him? Actions will only scare him! He can't understand! He doesn't understand!/

He sobbed himself into an uneasy rest full of dreams of uncertainties. When he awoke again, he was out of strength and just stared. Bitterly he laughed until he was sobbing again while laughing in utter confusion of raw emotion.

Wufei, Quatre, and Trowa heard from their places in the other rooms of the house. All winced and paused at the sound echoing from the walls.

Duo slipped silently into the bathroom and washed off. He stared at the reflection and narrowed his eyes. His hands gripped the sink tightly and he took in a sharp intake of breath. His fist connected with the mirror and the glass flew out to cut his skin and bury within him.

When he looked into the broken mirror he smiled grimly. This time the reflection was correct.

Duo broke down sobbing in Trowa's arms as the three boys ran into the bathroom to find out what had happened. Stroking the American's hair, Trowa led the boy from the room so that they could take care of him.

Throughout the whole time Duo just clung on, not wanting anything to fall away from him as everything else had. "Don't go… don't go…" he began to mutter over and over. /Heero… don't go…/

He fell into a dreamless sleep filled only with tension and sickness all around him. He just wanted to reach out for anything and grab on, not wanting to be left behind and alone as he had been before.

Duo watched his friends come and go from his room. Bedridden and useless to his description, he could not understand why they still stood by him. He no longer could even walk or do anything by himself. Yet they stood by, torturing themselves as they stayed in his presence. /They're just going to see me die. Why would you want that?/

Duo continued to smile and play cards with his friends, desperately keeping up his act even though he couldn't totally conceal everything. He hoped it would be enough to make them forget some of the pain that they were going through. He had to keep up his mask for just a bit longer… just until he was sure they'd be okay.

Duo watched silently from his bed as Heero walked out of the door. There was still so much that they had to talk about yet time was wearing away quickly. Scenarios ran rampant in his mind and he couldn't decide if they would be true or not.

Finally he just admitted defeat and decided not to reveal to truth to Heero. It would be too much pain on the other's part and that was not something Duo would leave him with.

Duo smiled sadly. The decision was for the better of his friends. He would leave them no regrets on their part, make them not feel any guilt. At least… he hoped they wouldn't have any regrets. Confusing himself, he laid back down and slowly feel asleep with the help of pain medication.

Heero stood beside Duo's bed. Duo opened his indigo eyes painfully and reached out for Heero's hand. Silently the other took it and rubbed his thumb over the top of Duo's fingers. They remained silent with their hands together…

Heero gasped in surprise as Duo smiled and his breathing sped up suddenly. The indigo eyes dropped and the lips attempted to form words but no sound came. A chilling hand fell from lax fingers and Heero just stared with shaded eyes as tears fell from his cheeks.

On Earth, the group of friends stands on the crest of a hill as the sun sets. Heero lifts the lid of a clay jar and lets the contents fly free in the breeze. The ashes spiral about in a dance and separate in parting as the others watch.


	Lionna's Corner of Anime Fanfiction \| home Sidestory: You Must Love Me ~~~ Title: From the Universe of: Zetsumei no Yochimu By: Lionna (Shinigami Goddess) shinigami_goddess@netzero.com Warnings/Content: Slight shonen-ai, angst. Rating: PG-ish Song: "You Must Love Me" Sung by Madonna from the Evita soundtrack *Notes: This is a song-side-story to my 6 part untitled series. Please read after* you finished the other story for this would give away the ending…. Anyhow, enjoy. Started and Completed: September 20, 2000 ~~~** Where do we go from here? Duo sat idly before his laptop sitting on his desk. He just couldn't let Sally know what was really going on. He wasn't telling his friends, didn't want them to know. /Everything would be too different if they knew. But… I just wish to see them again…/ He stood and walked from the room to enter the kitchen. The old hideout and home had been redone. He smiled proudly when looking about, remembering the dump it had been. /But what do I do now? Am I going to slip away silently and save them the pain? Or do I ease my pain and see them?/ This isn't where we intended to be Heero and Quatre came to him one day, stowing away from Relena. Duo reacted happily to seeing them though inside he wondered if they would figure out what was happening. He prayed they wouldn't. At night he avoided them, his pain hitting him worst at those times. He covered his coughs in the pillows and let himself deal with it by himself. The next two months passed quickly and his chest began to feel heavy. One night he could no longer contain his coughing less he suffocated. Quatre and Heero ran in. In that instant Duo realized what a mistake it was to have brought them in. He tried to keep them out, push them away. But they wouldn't leave. Despair creeped up on him on him and he locked himself away. Now that they knew, he refused to let him know how badly he was hurting. We had it all You believed in me, I believed in you ::Flashback:: Duo grinned and dragged Heero along down the crowded streets of the city. Heero allowed himself to be dragged along with a glower but a curiosity flickered in his eyes. Heero forced the cell door open and stared coolly at the boy leaning limply against the wall. Duo gave a weak smile and struggled to a stand. The American closed his eyes in acceptance and waited. Heero's gun was level and the trigger began to tighten. Suddenly a different gun flew out for Duo to catch. The American grinned cheekily and winked. Heero scowled and turned away. ::End flashback:: Certainties disappear What do we do for our dream to survive? Heero slammed the door on his way out and Duo hunched his shoulders up and he began to feel the tears form. Quatre and Wufei - finally arriving on L2 - watched on in silence that weighed the room down. Duo closed in on himself, hiding the fear that began to gnaw in him as Sally informed him of the progressing poison. There wasn't going to be much more time. What was he supposed to do? How do we keep all our passions alive As we used to do? "You said you wanted to know my other wish." "H- hai… demo…" "You still do, ne?" Heero nodded carefully. "Hee-chan, arigatou for being here." Silence spread for a long time and very suddenly Duo pressed in against Heero's lips. The kiss was gentle but there was some desperate meaning behind it. Heero was completely startled and broke the kiss off early as he pushed himself and Duo back a few steps. The American had turned to be facing sideways and his hair was covering his bowed face. "You- you're just… joking… right?!" Heero asked, stunned and not quite believing what had happened. Duo lifted his head up quickly and Heero gasped painfully when he saw a few tears flying in the breeze. "Of course I'm joking!" Duo shouted before running towards the steps and down back into the building. Deep in my heart I'm concealing Things that I'm longing to say Duo ran blindly through L2 back to his house. He rushed inside and barely even noticed Trowa had arrived. Locking himself in his room, Duo collapsed onto the bed and began to cry. /Why can't I just tell him? Actions will only scare him! He can't understand! He doesn't understand!/ He sobbed himself into an uneasy rest full of dreams of uncertainties. When he awoke again, he was out of strength and just stared. Bitterly he laughed until he was sobbing again while laughing in utter confusion of raw emotion. Wufei, Quatre, and Trowa heard from their places in the other rooms of the house. All winced and paused at the sound echoing from the walls. Scared to confess what I'm feeling Duo slipped silently into the bathroom and washed off. He stared at the reflection and narrowed his eyes. His hands gripped the sink tightly and he took in a sharp intake of breath. His fist connected with the mirror and the glass flew out to cut his skin and bury within him. When he looked into the broken mirror he smiled grimly. This time the reflection was correct. Frightened you'll slip away You must love me Duo broke down sobbing in Trowa's arms as the three boys ran into the bathroom to find out what had happened. Stroking the American's hair, Trowa led the boy from the room so that they could take care of him. Throughout the whole time Duo just clung on, not wanting anything to fall away from him as everything else had. "Don't go… don't go…" he began to mutter over and over. /Heero… don't go…/ You must love me He fell into a dreamless sleep filled only with tension and sickness all around him. He just wanted to reach out for anything and grab on, not wanting to be left behind and alone as he had been before. Why are you at me side How can I be any use to you now? Duo watched his friends come and go from his room. Bedridden and useless to his description, he could not understand why they still stood by him. He no longer could even walk or do anything by himself. Yet they stood by, torturing themselves as they stayed in his presence. /They're just going to see me die. Why would you want that?/ Give me a chance and I'll let you see How nothing has changed Duo continued to smile and play cards with his friends, desperately keeping up his act even though he couldn't totally conceal everything. He hoped it would be enough to make them forget some of the pain that they were going through. He had to keep up his mask for just a bit longer… just until he was sure they'd be okay. Deep in my heart I'm concealing Things that I'm longing to say Duo watched silently from his bed as Heero walked out of the door. There was still so much that they had to talk about yet time was wearing away quickly. Scenarios ran rampant in his mind and he couldn't decide if they would be true or not. Scared to confess what I'm feeling Finally he just admitted defeat and decided not to reveal to truth to Heero. It would be too much pain on the other's part and that was not something Duo would leave him with. Duo smiled sadly. The decision was for the better of his friends. He would leave them no regrets on their part, make them not feel any guilt. At least… he hoped they wouldn't have any regrets. Confusing himself, he laid back down and slowly feel asleep with the help of pain medication. Frightened you'll slip away Heero stood beside Duo's bed. Duo opened his indigo eyes painfully and reached out for Heero's hand. Silently the other took it and rubbed his thumb over the top of Duo's fingers. They remained silent with their hands together… You must love me You must love me Heero gasped in surprise as Duo smiled and his breathing sped up suddenly. The indigo eyes dropped and the lips attempted to form words but no sound came. A chilling hand fell from lax fingers and Heero just stared with shaded eyes as tears fell from his cheeks. You must… Love… me… On Earth, the group of friends stands on the crest of a hill as the sun sets. Heero lifts the lid of a clay jar and lets the contents fly free in the breeze. The ashes spiral about in a dance and separate in parting as the others watch. ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ Owari ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ Zetsumei no Yochimu Gundam Wing fanfics