The final battle between good and evil.

It seems like that's all my life has ever been. One fight after another. The mansion looms up ahead. This is one fight I have to win. Too many people have been hurt because of me. Too many people have died because of me.

It stops now.

Xander appears from out of nowhere. I'm flooded with feelings of anger and relief at the sight of him.

"Cavalry's here," Xander jokes. "Cavalry's a frightened guy with a rock, but it's here." I fight the urge to snap at him about his inappropriate response. Nothing will change for him after this fight. He'll still be the same person, but I'll never be the same again.

I hand him a stake and bark out an order. "You're not here to fight. You get Giles out, and you run like hell, understood? I can't protect you. I'm gonna be too busy killing." I unsheathe the sword. The blade glints in the early morning sunlight. It looks almost magical.

Xander says something about a message from Willow, but I barely hear him. My mind is focused on the task that lies ahead.

It's easy to find Angelus. No one notices me until the first vampire turns to dust after I sever his head with my sword.

"Hello lover."

Angelus hardly glances at me. "I don't have time for you."

"You don't have a lot of time left."

That seems to almost amuse him. "Coming on kind of strong, don't you think?" he says, "You're playing some deep odds here. Do you really think you can take us all on?"

"No. I don't." I'm almost happy that I'll get to wipe that smug look off his face. I want to make him hurt like he hurt me. I want to make him pay for taking Angel away from me.

The look of shock and pain on Angelus' face at the first blow of the crowbar is priceless. I don't have time to think about how much Spike is enjoying it before the other vamp attacks me.

A few punches, a few more kicks, and a nice pointy piece of wood make quick work of him, but I'm too late. Angelus took advantage of my distraction and used that moment to free the sword from Acathla.

"You almost made it, Buff," he snarls, so certain that he won.

"It's not over yet."

"My boy Acathla here is about to wake up. You're going to Hell."

"Save me a seat."

We fight.

Everything is a blur of parries and thrusts, blocks and dodges. I feel the sword slice across my arm but I barely flinch. One of us is going to die, and it's not going to be me.

I fight until he disarms me and knocks me to the ground. For the first time in my life I'm really afraid.

"Now that's everything, huh? No weapons... No friends... No hope." The man who isn't Angel smiles cruelly. "Take all that away... and what's left?"

I won't die at his hands. Not now, not ever. "Me."

The hilt of the sword strikes his face, and I jump to my feet. I attack him with every ounce of strength I have. I'm doing this for Angel. Maybe once he knows that this thing that wears his face can never hurt anyone again he can rest in peace. Another punch and he's disarmed and at my mercy. I raise the sword for the killing blow, and something unexpected happens.

Angelus collapses. His eyes glow gold for a second, and then he's on his knees, sobbing and gasping.

"Buffy? What's going on?"

It can't be him. The curse didn't work. I'm afraid to let myself hope that it's really him, and not another of Angelus' tricks. I want to believe it so much.

"Where are we? I-I don't remember."

I lower the sword. "Angel?"

He notices the cut on my arm. "You're hurt," he says. Even now, he thinks of me first.

He hugs me. Oh God, how long have I waited for this? How many nights have I spent dreaming of this?

"Oh, Buffy... God. I... I feel like I haven't seen you in months."

Months? It feels like it's been years.

"Oh, my God, everything's so muddled. I... Oh... Oh, Buffy..."

I start crying into his shoulder. I'm so happy. Until I open my eyes.

In my joy I forgot about the reason I came here in the first place -- Acathla. Behind Angel the vortex to Hell is opening. The gate, I have to close it. I have to-

Angel feels me tense up, and pulls away. "What's happening?" he asks confused.

"Shh. Don't worry about it," I whisper reassuringly. All I want to do is cry.

I kiss him. For the first time in months I kiss him. "I love you," I whisper, my voice shaking. I don't know if I can do this. Angel, I can't.....

"I love you."

"Close your eyes." God, I hate lying to him, but I can't bear to look into his eyes. I kiss him again, for the last time, and plunge the sword into my lover's body.

Angel's eyes fly open. "Buffy..." he begs. He doesn't understand why I did this. He doesn't understand......

I cry. I cry for what is and for what might have been. It would have been better if he'd never gotten his soul back. I could handle killing Angelus, but not Angel, never Angel.

I walk back to my house in a trance. I pack a bag and write a note. I tell my mom that I'm leaving and to talk to Giles. He can explain everything.

Something draws me to the school, and I watch my friends. Giles, Willow, and Xander all bear injuries they never would have gotten if not for me. No one else is going to be hurt because of me.

I walk away from them before I can change my mind. I buy a bus ticket as far away from Sunnydale as I can get.

What did I do to deserve this? Am I such a bad person that I'm going to be punished for the rest of my life? I absently wipe a tear out of my eye as I stare out the window of the bus. How many people's lives have been ruined because of me? Giles lost the woman he loved because of me. Kendra died because of me. And how many times had Willow and Xander almost gotten killed trying to save me?

They'll miss me. I know that, but they'll get over it. Now that I'm gone my friends may be able to have something resembling a normal life. Maybe in a few years they'll look back and remember the good times we had together, when we weren't fighting vampires or demons or my ex-boyfriend. Maybe they'll look back on these last two years as a weird time in their life. Or maybe they'll forget. If they do, it's for the best.

I wish I could forget. God, what would I give to be able to forget?