//There are two of us talking in circles
And one of us who wants to leave\\
She's with him again.
My Dru is out hunting with Angelus for the third night this week. He's the one she's turning to now, poor old crippled Spike doesn't cut it anymore. Maybe if I tell her-
No.
No, if I tell Dru I lose whatever tiny advantage I have. "Bloody hell," I growled, "Do I mean so fucking little to her?"
//In a world created for only us
An empty cage that has no key\\
I hate this mansion. The warehouse was fine. I actually liked the warehouse, but not this place. Before Angelus was a guest in MY home. Now, I'm a guest in his.
I stalked through the indoor garden towards the door to the outside. My foot connected with the side of that damned wheelchair and sent it rolling. I pushed the door open and inhaled the cool night air. It was quiet, a rarity in Sunnydale, and the night was still. Good.
I continued down the street, slipping unseen through the graveyard. "Last thing I need is for Angelus to see me." I briefly considered going to that club the Slayer's always at, but decided against it. All I wanted right now was to be alone.
So I went to Angel's old apartment. He hasn't been there since the change and there's no chance in hell that the Slayer will show up.
I sat down on the edge of Angel's bed, idly noting the thick coat of dust that covered everything. I had a choice to make, and it had to be made tonight. Do I stay or not?
//Don't you know we're working with flesh and blood
Carving out of jealousy\\
Did you want to make me jealous that much, pet? Is your precious Angel worth it? Is a century long relationship so cheap that you'll throw it away for the guy who drove you crazy, then abandoned you?
She wasn't always like this. I hate myself for feeling this way, but I wish things were back the way they were when Dru was still sick. She needed me then. She needed me to tell her everything would be all right, that I wouldn't let anyone hurt her. She loved me then, and I loved her.
Everything was so easy before we decided to visit old Sunnyhell. My Dark Queen was happy. Whether we were in Prague or Spain or London we were happy. Life was an All-You-Can-Eat Buffet and we were always hungry.
I wish we'd never heard of the Hellmouth or this godforsaken town. Dru was weak, but she didn't care. She was happy with her dolls, her dolls and me. Dru didn't give a damn about Angel then. He didn't occupy her every thought, no matter how insane, like he does now. My Dru is gone. She's his Dru now.
//Crawling into each other it's smothering
Every little part of me\\
God, I can't believe how fucking pathetic I sound. What happened to William the Bloody? Dru has me as whipped as Angel's pet Slayer had him.
But I don't care.
Dru was everything to me, and now she treats me like we barely know each other, and Angelus uses every opportunity he has to rub it in my face that Drusilla is his now. The bastard doesn't even really care about her. She was just an obsession of his.
His real passion is for the Slayer. Not that I can blame him for that, she's a hell of a lot better looking then the last Slayer, and smarter too. I actually enjoy fighting her. Buffy has real skill and intelligence, and being around someone who isn't insane is nice once in awhile.
Christ, now I'm getting sentimental over the bloody Slayer! This is just wrong, but I bet Buffy wouldn't cheat on Angel. She's not the type, but, lucky me, Dru is.
//What kind of love is this that keeps me hanging on
Despite everything it's doing to me
What is this love that keeps me coming back for more
When it will only end in misery\\
I don't even really know why I stay with Dru. Probably because she's all I know. We've been together for a century, and now I don't know how to live my life without her. Drusilla's like a drug to me, and I don't know if I can handle the withdrawal. Knowing my luck lately it would kill me.
//I know too many people unhappy
In a life from which they'd love to flee\\
I despise what my life has become. Instead of Dru's lover I'm her faithful dog. No matter how much she kicks me around I always come back for more. Too blind and too stupid to know to run away.
Darla would laugh in my face if she saw me now. At least with her there were never any false pretenses of love and loyalty. If she saw me now she'd tell me I was weak and pathetic, and, the truth is, she'd be right.
//Watching others get everything offered
They're wanton for discovery\\
I wonder why I even bother trying to get Dru back, but I know the answer to that question at least. I love her. It's as simple as that. I love her, and I don't know how I could go on living without her. So I'll crawl back to that mansion like the faithful, stupid dog I seem to be turning into and watch as Angelus continues to steal the only thing that matters to me. At least for another day.
//Oh my brother my sister my mother
You're loosing your identity\\
I don't know who I am anymore, but I hardly care. In a few days I'll seize my chance and wipe that smirk off Angelus' face for good. I'm going to make him pay for this. I don't give a damn if I die trying, but I will teach Angelus that I'm not someone to fuck with.
//Can't you see that it's you in the window
Shining with intensity\\
I'll rip his heart out and give it to Dru, since she seemed to like the one he gave her for Valentine's Day so much. Let her have the heart of her precious Angel.
//What kind of love is this that keeps me hanging on
Despite everything it's doing to me
What is this love that keeps me coming back for more
When it will only end in misery...\\
I know it probably won't end that way, but I have to try. Because, God curse me...
