A Whole New Life Part 9

A Whole New Life
Part 9: Healings
By SJ 12-23-01/15-04-02 (skyjade@globetrotter.net)

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Special thanks to my shy, secret beta-reader and best friend, Adrianne, for her
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me some of your precious time, my friend :)
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Days later, Ani peacefully walked toward his now daily destination: Yoda's hut.

After appearing to Anakin, Yoda had taken him to his own hut, then had discussed
at length about the past with him. What still surprised Ani was that despite
his own guilt regarding his son, and the fact that he had had to compact his
tall body in a small ball to sit in Yoda's hut, he had not even felt a spark of
anger or resent rising from his deep self.

Instead, he had felt at peace, perhaps not completely, but much more so than he
would have been had he been through this when he had first arrived on Dagobah.

That was why, the old master had said, he had waited for him to make peace with
himself before revealing himself. It was also by his design that he had landed
where he had, he had admitted, although he had apologized about the quick sands;
they hadn't been his doings.

Still, Ani reflected wistfully, the results were the same: he was stranded, and
happy to be so, he admitted. Had he had the possibility to return to Luke, he
now knew that he would have never been able to achieve the focus that he needed
to complete his healing.

More and more, the past was over for him; he had stopped persecuting himself
about it... except for one element: his beloved son. Despite his vision and
Yoda's assurance that Luke's unconscious sacrifices had been extremely necessary
to reach this point in time, Anakin still had much trouble forgiving himself.
He could still hear his son's screams when he had hurt him, could even see his
tears of despair, either as a child or an adult.

However, the Jedi reminded himself, he would have to forgive himself sooner or
later; his guilt was blocking his remaining healing: his lungs. The rest of him
was mostly restored now; since he was exposed to what sun came through on
Dagobah, his exposed flesh had even begun to regain a more healthy color.

However, he thought more sadly, he still had to wear his mask to breathe to
prove his shame and guilt, it seemed.

He finally reached his destination; he lowered himself until he was on his hands
and knees, then crawled inside the small hut.

"Good morning, Master Yoda," he said to the sole inhabitant of the hut.

"Slept well have you, Anakin?" the small alien asked him in return.

"Not as much as I'd like," he answered truthfully while he shifted his body into
a sitting position. "I'm still plagued by visions of the past."

Ever since they had intensified their work on his time with his son, he had
begun to relive the shameful events night after night, keeping himself from
having a good night's rest.

"Fighting your guilt is," his friend answered while he slowly walked closer to
him. "Die it does not want."

"In a way, Master Yoda, I don't think it should either," he commented softly,
casting his eyes downward in sadness. "Even if I, as Anakin, would never have
done that, I still did it... I decided to do it."

"No choice you had, Anakin," Yoda reminded him seriously. "If otherwise you had
done, dead Luke would be."

"And the galaxy wouldn't be free from the Dark Side, I know," he completed. "I
just don't want to dismiss those events as if they were inconsequential.
Forgiving myself of all the kills that I made while Vader is one thing," he then
added earnestly, "but forgiving myself for hurting my son... He means too much
to me to treat him like the rest of my estranged victims," he finished glumly.

"Yet forgive 'you' Luke does," Yoda pointed out to him. "Told you he did. Not
a stranger he thinks he is, yet asks you to forgive yourself, he does," the
master reminded him wisely.

"I know," Ani sighed forlornly. "But he also wanted me to stay with him instead
of going away to save myself. He doesn't see me for the evil man that I once
was."

"Bad he also was, Anakin. Understands he does."

"I suppose," he agreed reluctantly.

"Meditate on this we shall again," Yoda told him as he sat in front of him, then
offered him his small hands to join his powers to his.

Anakin rested his hands under the master's, then closed his eyes and forced his
sorrow out of his mind.

Slowly, he and Yoda immersed themselves in his memories and feelings even as
they initiated a healing trance on his body.

As it had every day since he had met again with Yoda, his body welcomed the
soothing energies, continuing his surface healing--- but when it came to his
lungs, the energies were still blocked, not because of the machinery, as he had
discovered when his kidneys and innards had healed themselves in spite of those,
but because of his feelings.

Thus, he set about really forcing himself to make peace with himself about his
son. All day long, he relived the past memories, and winced every time that he
witnessed the violence of the past... and every time, he failed to forgive
himself.

At least, he reflected when he exited the trance, later in the evening, he knew
for sure that he loved his son, perhaps even more than he had loved his wife and
daughter since he had forgiven himself about them.

It was a very small consolation.

******

Four weeks now , Luke counted on the time device of his private office in the
Senate building on Coruscant. The Senate had been running for four weeks now,
and no real problem had surfaced. There had, of course, been a few small,
private interventions with driven individuals, but nothing serious enough to
warrant their expulsion from the government.

All in all, he reflected while he leaned back in his chair and rubbed his tired
eyes, it was going well.

Once the craziness of the first days had retreated in the background, things had
truly begun to develop normally and the senators' every little gesture, as well
as his owns, were no longer reported on the first page of every news report in
the galaxy.

He himself had lost count of the number of holovid papers which had selected a
close-range shot of him in meditation to accompany their articles about the
opening senate. Not the best way to take the focus off of him, he had wanted to
send them via private messages, but had restrained himself. It would only pour
oil on the fire, something which he didn't need at the moment.

So far, his gamble had paid off and he was off the grid, well mostly, he amended
while he regained a more upright position. A few reporters still jumped on
anything concerning him, but most of the rest didn't matter much about him
anymore. Instead, they tried to find faults in their local senators, or in very
minor accidents here and there.

Luke naturally read all those news, and all the reports from his
spying/informant teams; he also kept a very close eye on anything that could
escalate, but he didn't give orders anymore. Instead, he just informed the
rulers of his worries... who then brought them up in the Senate, and their
chosen officers. In short, the Fleet now responded directly to the Senate, no
one else.

Piett had remained as the first Admiral of the fleet, but the officer in charge
of Coruscant had been changed for a woman, who was thought to be excellent at
keeping peace in the capitol world. Luke had had to agree with them, but he had
hurried to re-station his ex-general in another sector where he needed his
expertise. Then, with the help of the new officer, and Coruscant's Senators, he
had set up 'his' own project about how to help the citizens of the capitol
world.

As he prepared to return to his quarters, he reflected once again about his
first, very concrete action as a politician. After discussing his plans with
the senators of what was now known as Capitol City, he had requested plans to
modify his father's castle, the Imperial Palace and Xizor's Castle. Once the
plans had been ready, the three castles had been heavily modified to dispel any
remnants of their dark past, but they had also retained everything that made
them a feast for the eyes and mind--- then had been opened to only certain
categories of citizens, namely those who needed them most.

At first, his idea hadn't been very popular with the new senate and the populace
in general, but after organizing visits of the two palaces which would be mostly
for the regular citizens, applications had begun to find their way to Luke who
had, after a study of each case, presented his selection to the Senate.

They had wholeheartedly agreed with him.

After all, he reflected with a light, very light sneer, the Senators had kept
the former Imperial palace for their living quarters as well as the headquarters
of the Fleet and of the remaining army of volunteers. However, unlike in the
two other palaces, they had agreed to pay a rent to the galactic treasure,
perhaps not as expensive as one might think, but they still had to pay to stay
there whereas the occupants of the two other buildings only had to take care of
their food, clothes and extra furniture.

Everything else in the two other castles was free.

In the case of his father's castle, the apartments had been given to victims of
Coruscant's unfairness, which Luke had wanted to compensate. Thus, each level
of the former Vader castle was now occupied by families, except for the last
one; it was his own, and his father's if he ever returned.

Xizor's Palace had also been given away to families, but in less dire needs than
the ones relocated in what was now known as Skywalker's Castle. It had simply
been a question of fairness, and a small attempt to help people in need, he
thought wistfully.

No less than a thousand families were now sheltered from the elements and could
live in a safe environment, without the need to sacrifice anything to have a
place to live. Naturally, no one lived in the levels where the detention blocks
had been; they had been filled with concrete and sealed.

And now that the project had made its proofs, he was now working on
possibilities to repeat the procedure in other cities and on other planets; he
was perfectly aware that he wouldn't run out of people to help any time soon.

However, he admitted on his way down, helping them this way was something he was
truly proud of. Given the size of each building on Coruscant, he had been able
to help a surprising number of people while giving them more luxury than they
could ever dream of. Also, despite the number of people now inhabiting the huge
buildings, each family still had more than enough room to live without feeling
as if they were crowded.

As for the governmental rents, they went directly to the most pauper populations
of the galaxy, providing them with food, shelter or just a little more money to
go by without risking their health. And, he thought seriously, this was just
the beginning of what he could do for them.

Yes, he conceded, things were now going very well. He admitted that he had
never thought that the Senate would give him the opportunity to bring this
project to life. He knew that he wouldn't have thought of it had he remained
only with the army; it was the comments of future senators that had led him to
formulate this idea, and he now had several more in mind. He had recovered his
cleverness, at last.

All he needed, he conceded, was to get involved in the larger senate to present
them to the voting body. However, he wasn't exactly ready to do so.

He finally exited the huge building, which was built alongside the same
architectural lines than the old senate except for the non-gravitional
environment; the senators were seated in regular chairs now to spare the expense
of keeping in good order all the mini space-crafts that would have been needed
otherwise.

As he gazed around himself, Luke reflected that it was 'indeed' peaceful in the
galaxy. At last.

He decided to return 'home' via the streets.

He walked at a normal pace, enjoying the feeling of being amongst happy people.
Leia had been right, he reflected lightly; things would be all right now.

At first, he only paid attention to the smiles and the bustling life around him,
but slowly, he noticed that people were recognizing him. He also immediately
understood that they didn't know how to react to his presence. He tried to help
them by merely nodding his head if they looked at him, then went on his way.

He heard whispers afterward, telling him that he would probably hear about this
in the news tomorrow--- then he slowly became aware that some people were
following him. His warning sense began to tingle with more urgency; he looked up
at the horizon.

He was perhaps fifteen minutes away from his destination; he hastened his pace.

However, since he wasn't thinking in terms of efficiency but privacy, he
completely missed the approaching danger until he saw five men closing in on him
from five different directions.

He reached out--- and swallowed hard. He was unarmed except for his body, and
no less than ten thugs were effectively blocking any possible escape route.
As if sensing the danger, the street suddenly cleared of by-passers.

"If it ain't Jedi Skywalker," one of the outlaw sneered meanly. "What's wrong?
You missed your first class transport?"

"Why don't you let us take you home?" another added, tapping what looked like a
heavy and sturdy piece of metal in his hand.

In the dim light of twilight though, Luke couldn't be sure.

"What can I do for you, gentlemen?" he asked them coolly, slowly getting into a
fighting stance.

"Oh, not much," a burly man with chains sneered.

"Just give us access to the galactic treasure, for a start," someone behind Luke
added, then pounced on him.

Luke was ready. He ducked under his attack, then shoved his shoulders upward
and against him; he bodily lifted the other off the ground before throwing him
into half of his companions.

It set off the other half. The man with the metal bar angrily swung his weapon
where Luke's head was; he had already ducked again, and again, then he grabbed
hold of Burly's chains and pulled on them. With the help of the Force, the
other let them go as if scalded; Luke swung them, then threw it his bar-wielding
enemy.

It pinned his arms to his sides. The Jedi wasn't out of danger yet though; he
flipped backward on his hands, avoiding a stun bolt, then flipped back to his
feet, but not before kicking two more thugs where it hurt real bad with powerful
rear-kicks.

Meanwhile, the five first ones had finally disentangled themselves from each
other and were coming on him. Luke jumped and twirled in the air, this time
forward; he landed a round-house kick on the head of another one.

Unfortunately, when the man's neck snapped under the impact, the Jedi couldn't
help but feel slightly nauseated by his still deadly skills---- and missed the
bolt that caught him straight in the arm. It cut his concentration long enough
for a nearby aggressor to retaliate for his fallen comrades.

Three, well placed hits and Luke was on the ground, fighting hard to retain his
consciousness.

"Someone will pay dearly for you, Jedi," one of the man sneered, then attacked
him again.

Luke almost blacked out at that; he wasn't aware enough to realize that someone
had come to his rescue.

Mara had debated long and hard with herself, but in the end, the children had
convinced her to see Luke again.

She had been saddened by the necessity to leave them, but since her young
charges had insisted that she went, even if it meant losing her, she hadn't
resisted them. She knew that she could trust their judgment.

Hence, she had boarded her ship and programmed a direct jump to Coruscant.
There, she had watched the news to know where her boyfriend was, then... had
been working up her courage to see him again while watching the Senate building
in the distance.

She had still been doing so when the object of her thoughts had entered her
senses. His presence had been like a beacon in her mind; she had looked up just
in time to see him walk past her--- then had noticed the dangerous-looking
beings who had been following him.

She had followed them.

At first, she hadn't intervened in the fight, unsure if she was ready to fight
again, let alone face Luke again, but the moment that his defenses had crumpled,
she had jumped into the fray.

Unlike Luke, who didn't have any weapons on him, she had her blaster.

She stunned three of the five remaining men within the bat of her eyelids, then
finished the two others with a hard elbow on one's nose and a powerful kick that
clipped the second, small alien just under the jaw.

The streets were once again quiet. She knelt at Luke's sides, dimly remembering
the last time she had seen him in a similar state... aboard the Executor when he
had been keeping up appearances.

"Luke," she called even as she scanned him for serious damage.

Other than a concussion and a blaster shot, he was all right.

"Luke, wake up, it's not time to take a nap," she tried to rouse him with a
joke.

"Mmmm... what happened?" he moaned, his eyes still closed while he slowly rolled
on his back.

"What were you thinking, walking down the street like that?" she rebuked him
lightly. "Don't you have a speeder or something?"

Luke slightly shook his head, then he opened his eyes--- and sat bolt upright in
shock.

When Luke's senses began to return to him, it was thanks to an insistent,
somehow familiar voice who was teasing him. Why did he know that voice, he
asked himself while he tried to remember why he had lost consciousness in the
first place.

Finally, he managed to place the voice as Mara's, but it was impossible, he
reminded himself. She was far away, making peace with herself and hadn't
contacted him even once for he didn't know how long.

He brought his left hand to his face--- hissed when his arm informed him that it
was injured. He forced his eyes open to see the extent of the damage, but the
first thing he saw was the mass of red-gold hair that was leaning over him.

Red-gold---- Suddenly, his savior's features came into sharp focus and he
understood that he was seeing Mara; he wasn't imagining her.

He sat bolt upright--- and collided hard with her head.

"Ow," they both groaned, rubbing their foreheads to ease the pain. "What's
wrong?" his girlfriend asked.

"Mara?? Is it really you?" he asked even as he searched her eyes for answers.

"Of course it's me, farmboy," she answered, then shifted her position until she
could help him to get to his feet. "Are you up to walking?"

"Huh, I think so," he answered, but decided that he wouldn't leave her off the
hook this easily. "What are you doing here? I thought I'd never see you again,
or not very soon anyway," he finished sadly.

"I had to work on some things, but it's okay now. Up you go," she told him even
as she helped him back to his feet.

Luke, who was still slightly dazed by his hits and slight loss of blood, wavered
slightly against her--- bringing even more to reality that she was indeed with
him.

"Whoa," she commented lightly, "take it easy and lean on me if you have to," she
instructed him.

He dimly reflected that bodily support wasn't something she used to know about,
but dismissed it for the moment.

She was back... and saving him again.

Mara noticed her boyfriend's shock; she recognized the stun silence, the widened
eyes and parted lips. She made a note to make sure that it didn't become
pathologic thanks to his slight injury.

"So," she asked him while she hefted his weight against herself, "do you have a
speeder or anything to get you out of here fast?"

"Hmmm, yeah," he nodded, then moved to search himself with is injured arm.

Once again, it informed him to remain still.

While she shook her head at his typical stubbornness, she asked him what he was
looking for.

"A homing beacon," he answered, then told her what it looked like.

While she patted around his hips for the small device, she reflected that this
was much closer to him than she had ever thought to be upon her return. His
body, which she still remembered quite well, was pressed sideways against hers,
and her patting hand could feel that he hadn't lost any of his shape. And then,
she thought as she produced the device and called his speeder to them, there was
his closer than close presence: warm, gentle, simple... intoxicating.

"Come on, we have to leave this street," she urged him even as curious by-
standers began to re-emerge from their hiding place to witness his demise or
that of his attackers.

While Luke stumbled beside Mara, he reflected that it almost felt as if they had
never parted company. They were still like one mind, knowing what to do to help
the other without their asking for it.

However, they had been apart for a while. While the Emperor had been alive,
they had already been kept away from one another for a while, then the fateful
day had come and things had never been the same between them...

"I missed you, Mara," he told her simply while he struggled to regain his
strengths.

For a moment, she stopped walking and gazed at him, then she resumed their
walking.

"I missed you too, Luke,... much more than you might believe," she finished
softly.

Before he could ask her more questions, his speeder reached them. They climbed
aboard, then he directed her toward Skywalker's palace.

Once at the palace, Luke told her to use the secret lift; it was still only
accessible by Jedis. Once in the lift, her boyfriend regained a little more
stability on his feet.

"I was worried about you when you last contacted me," he finally told her in the
silence.

"Yeah, I was lost," she admitted, her eyes seeking his. "I didn't know that
what you and your father did was right."

"And now you do?" he asked her, leaning slightly away from the wall.

"Yes," she nodded seriously, then slowly stepped closer to him. "I'm sorry for
almost killing you, Luke," she said earnestly. "I'm sorry for giving you
trouble when I should have helped you... and I'm sorry for not coming back
earlier," she finished sadly.

For a long moment, both hers and Luke's eyes met, as if from great distances,
then all of a sudden, there weren't anymore distances. They were back to being
one mind, one soul, one love.

Luke engulfed her in his one-arm embrace, his relief and joy mingling into tears
as he held her as close to himself as he could.

"I forgive you, my love," he reassured her earnestly. "There's nothing to
forgive, but if you need my words to feel at peace, then I forgive you."

"Oh, Luke," she whispered in relief against his shoulder, then, unable to resist
her passion, drew away from him only to capture his lips in a reunion kiss. *I
never stopped loving you; nothing could stand between you and me... I just
didn't want to accept it, I'm sorry.*

*And I'm sorry for not telling you the truth when it all began, Mara,* he
commented in kind. *I was afraid to lose you right away... I wanted to postpone
this moment,* he sent back with all his love.

*But you were right to hide it from me; I wouldn't have been ready to face the
truth. I needed... time and... help,* she finished somewhat sadly at the
thought of all her little charges on Capara.

They were happy for her, but she missed them already, she admitted to herself.

"And they told you to listen to your heart," her lover commented softly, his
eyes filled with compassion as he saw her memory of the children.

She nodded in answer.

"They helped me translate its screams of despair," she explained warmly, then
resumed their passionate kiss.

Luke pulled her even closer until she decided to help him by pressing him back
into the wall. There, they both deepened their embrace while their minds
silently caught up with their missing months in each other lives.

Thus, Mara saw Luke's solitude and his fight to do the right thing while he
himself saw her near failure against the Dark side before she met with the
children and met her true self, thanks to her care for them.

Neither of them noticed that they had reached their floor.

Not right away at any rate.

******

The next morning, Luke awoke to a feeling he hadn't thought he would experience
ever again.

Mara was back in his arms and soul. After taking care of his light injury, they
had spent the evening catching up on the past, sometimes with words, but
sometimes with the language of love.

It had been almost magical, but this morning was even more so, he thought
dreamily. In his opinion, no activity could compare with watching his lover's
serene features while she was asleep. She seemed to be radiating with light
under the shy sunrays of a new day.

Especially her fiery, captivating hair, he smiled lazily, the smile of a man in
love. He sighed in contentment, then gently caressed her soft cheek.

He couldn't understand how he had survived without her, he conceded seriously,
how he had even managed to go on with his life after their separation. Even
when he had been a dark Jedi, he had found the months of separation
interminable, so as a Jedi with a renewed heart, it had been close to a constant
torture... especially coupled with his father's leaving.

However, he reflected less glumly, he had survived, had even succeeded in
reaching most of his goals, and even some that he had never thought about
before, he admitted shyly. But even more important, he then reflected, the
separation seemed to have fortified their love for one another, making them
understand how much the other truly meant to them, not by obligation or physical
desire, but because they really wanted to spend the rest of their lives
together.

One while two.

"Hmmmm," the object of his thoughts sighed softly even as she cuddled closer to
him, "here's one more thing I missed," she commented gently.

"What is that?" he asked even as he leaned closer to her awakening features.

Her beautiful green eyes finally met his gaze, then she smiled the kind of smile
that she kept exclusively for him, the man she loved.

"Waking up to your caresses," she told him softly, then craned her neck to be
closer to his already close features, "and you," she finished just before their
lips met in a sweet kiss.

*Good morning, my love* he sent warmly.

*Slept well?* she asked him even as her free arm snaked around his neck and
pulled him until he was over her.

*Much better than in a very long while,* he answered while he cupped her cheek
and deepened their embrace.

*Is your arm all right?* she inquired even as she gently touched it with her
fingers.

Luke shivered at her feather-like touch; he didn't break their languorous
moment.

*It sure passed the tests of last night,* he retorted lightly even as he rolled
on his back until she was resting on him instead of the opposite.

He didn't want to crush her under his weight. However, Mara had other ideas and
pulled him back to his previous position.

"I'm not that tired yet, Luke," she commented slyly. "You?"

"Well," he smiled at her even as he leaned closer to her once again. "If you
put it this way, who am I to resist?" he teased her.

"Exactly," she half-whispered sensually before wrapping her legs around his
hips. *Besides, we have to test your arm a little more,* she sent teasingly
through the Force.

*Anything to reassure you, my love,* in sent in kind as he left her lips to
lavish her neck.

******

Hours later, they sat on a large balcony while sharing their first home-made
breakfast ever. Mara had insisted to prove to him that she had learnt to cook,
and Luke, who hadn't used a droid in a while now, had been glad to assist her.

"So," she finally asked him, abandoning her silent study of his beautiful eyes,
"you work in the Senate now?"

"I watch over the Senate, but I am not paid for this. I don't need it."

"I understand, but it still keeps you busy day after day," she pointed out
seriously.

"Yes," he sighed slightly then took another bite of his meal.

"I think I'm detecting unhappiness," she commented in the silence.

Luke threw her a patient gaze from under his eyelashes, then dropped his serious
stance and leaned back in his cushioned chair.

"It overwhelms me," he admitted glumly. "It is a huge responsibility, and the
minds of the politicians are much more complex than anything I've ever
encountered. Even if I only probe the currents of their thoughts instead of
their minds, they are still twisted enough to make me fear that I have knots in
my own mind at the end of each day. Sometimes, I feel like I do," he finished
forlornly.

While Mara had never read minds for lack of power, she knew that it was a
demanding task for the prober's mind because of the complexity of the target.

"If only I could help you," she commented earnestly in the silence.

At first, only silence answered her, then Luke's chair creaked as he leaned back
to a more upright position.

"Perhaps you can, Mara," he told her seriously.

"What?" she gaped at him, "Luke, I'm sorry to break this to you, but I am merely
sensitive to the Force. I can't use it like---"

She felt silent when her boyfriend shook his head.

"I think you are more powerful than we were led to think, my love," he
commented. "Do you remember the incidents on Ord Mantell?"

"Y... yes," she answered, suddenly hesitant.

She now knew how dangerously close to the Dark Side she had been on that planet.
Even more than under the Emperor's service, she had been falling head first into
the dark vortex that was the Dark Side of the Force. Fortunately for her,
events had then happened and had saved her from ruining her life.

"It's just a feeling," her boyfriend hurried to inform her, "but... what if the
Emperor had restrained your true potential from showing while he was alive...
and that you could now become a full-fledged Jedi Knight?"

For a long moment, Mara gaped openly at her boyfriend, unable to believe what he
had just suggested.

"Huh," he commented, as if coming back on his words, "that is if you are
interested to become one of course. I wouldn't push any---"

She took hold of his hand and shook her head.

"It's all right Luke, you're not upsetting me. I... I just have difficulty to
believe in this possibility; I tried so hard so many times..." she told him
sincerely, almost sadly.

"Yet you were so powerful for a while that I could feel the effects of your
influence on the Force," he pointed out seriously.

She shook her head in defeat.

"That was probably just the Dark Side, Luke."

"If it were," her lover countered, "then you have the same strength for the
Light side; both sides are equal in power. The difference is how you use the
power, nothing else."

Unable to find an argument to this, she gazed at her companion for several
seconds. He was serious about this, she reflected uncertainly. He had a
feeling, and he believed it to be true.

"Do you really think it could be this simple?" she asked him uncertainly.

Luke smiled at her.

"Only one way to find out," he commented, then stood up and began to gather his
plate and cup.

Wondering what he had in mind, she followed suite.

TBC in part 10: A Whole new Life