My dictionary defines experiment as:     a test or trial to find out something.
How many times have I avoided something because I had some pre-conceived notions about the horrible consequences that could happen. In most of my experiences, as well as in cases of a large majority of the clients I've had, the horrid results we imagined would likely never happen. Or if they did, the after-effects were nowhere near as negative as we'd imagined.

For example, most people have a fear of public speaking. That's their largest fear, above dying even. What is the fear about? Subsequent ridicule by every other human on this planet? Loss of job, spouse, friends? But when people learn to take small steps toward speaking to groups, they find that it's not much more difficult than talking to their best friend. They are taught to focus on something they believe in, and how to communicate that to the individuals in their audience--not focusing on how they might fail, or on how their audience members might afterward ridicule and reject them.

I utilize experiments to do things like:

• Gather information such as: likes & dislikes, how things work.
• Question old assumptions, or draw new conclusions.
• Apply theories.

I've seen approaches that work for self- and life-improvement, and also ones that don't work quite as well. This one seems to help me and others to get a broad perspective of their lives, rather quickly, and then begin to identify the more meaningful parts.

What are some of the most important areas in your life?

Examples: - Relationship with significant other. - Job/career. - Finances. - Parenting/Kids.

For one of the most "meaningful" of these areas, ask the following questions: What's going on in this area of my life? What beliefs do I have about it? How important is it to me? What results do I want in it?

Example: Career 1. Feeling frustrated, perhaps angry. 2. I'm not treated with respect. My talents aren't being fully used. 3. It's important, because I spend so much time there. 4. I want a job I'll enjoy more, and make more money at. Example: Love relationship 1. I don't feel loved enough, not as deep in love as I want. 2. I believe deeper love is possible. 3. Very important to me. Important to my spouse? 4. Less arguing. More supportiveness. More time together. Trips?

For years in my corporate job, I'd known that overall it was not a good fit. Parts of it were fun and satisfying, but it lacked overall alignment with my core beliefs and values. I wanted to help people more directly, and to see how they changed. I wanted interaction with humans, not a computer keyboard and screen. I wanted to have time during the day to be outside more. I wanted to invent and build things. That's partly why I got into engineering, but the rigorousness which I had to apply it in the corporate environment was more than I liked. I started to follow my passions, my interests, my intuitions more. It's made a huge difference in my life, and in the lives of my family.

Once you get a handle on what parts of your life are most important and are least fitting your beliefs and desires, you have a place to start. I help clients get very specific about what they want in each life area, and then together we come up with action plans for creating the desired situations.

These examples show only two life areas. Usually I help clients look at several areas of their lives. We begin re-design in one area, though, because picking apart and criticizing every part of your life can be confusing and demoralizing. It's been my experience that when you learn some life-improvement skills in one area, you can apply them in other areas.

Oftentimes clients don't exactly know what they want. They often know more about what they don't want. If you're having trouble identifying what you want, or if you'd like to explore a little, the next experiment will be very helpful.

This is one of the most important pieces of information you'll ever have about yourself. This experiment can help you identify what you value, without letting your inner critic hinder your creative thinking.

1. Get some magazines, ones that contain both familiar and unfamiliar subjects. They can be either ones you can tear photos out of, or ones you can't. (If the latter is the case, get a small stack of "yellow stickies" so you can mark pages that you find interesting.)
   
   
2. Find a comfortable spot...pillows on the floor, or on your bed. (It may be best not to do this at your work desk.)
   
   
3. Flip through your magazines, only stopping when you find something that seems interesting to you. (Don't worry about why it's interesting. That could alert your inner critic, who will want you to find a rational reason for this exercise. Instead, sneak into this without thinking!)
   
   
4. Tear out (or mark with a yellow stickie) pages that catch your attention.
   
   
5. Are you finding enough interesting things? If not, then go get more magazines... or draw your own pictures, or make a list of what you like. There are no limits in this experiment. The important thing is to feel that you find some really fun things, or ones that grab your attention, or tug at your heartstrings. Things that make you feel alive, not half-dead. Know what I mean? Even if you're feeling half-dead, you can usually be revived fairly easily if you open up and explore like a kid. Once you have a dozen or so things, you can move to the next step.
   
   
6. For each thing you've found, take a closer look at it. What interests you about this photo?

Had I made a list by employing my brain at that point in my life, it probably would have contained items like: "work on more effective scheduling", and "stick to my budget". These things are important, but they are not enough to keep me happy. I need some recreation on a pretty regular basis, and when I don't get it, I get cranky and not as focused. My mind daydreams more often than I'd like... about getting into nature, being touched by a woman, and creating or playing with new gadgets.

Partly as the result of the preceding experiment, I confirmed that my high-tech job was not a very good fit for me. For years, I'd fantasized about jumping up on the desk in the middle of my cubicle--or in an important meeting--and shouting joyously "I can't take any more of this meaningless job!!" I am happy to say that I finally did leave that job, although not in quite as dramatic a fashion. Instead, I spent a couple years preparing for my liberation, and I executed my exit with calm dignity. (Well, I did yell and scream ecstatically while driving away from my "corporate indenturement", but no one could hear me. Looking back on it, part of me wishes that I'd run down the halls of that place, whoopin' and hollerin' about how I could now leave to pursue my dreams. It might have inspired others to wake up and find more meaningful work.)

• I tracked my income and spending for a year before I left. I knew exactly how much money I spent, and what I spent it on.
• I had several months of money saved up.
• I had explored a different career, and I knew what it would require to switch into it.
• I had talked with my kids and discussed some of the changes. (A month later one of my kids said, "Dad, you've been a different person since the day you left that job.")
• I made a list of things I'd do differently: less dining out, more un-processed foods and cooking, more bicycling, more cheap activities (reading, hiking, videos vs. theater movies, etc.)