"Metal Man"

by Marvin, the Paranoid Android

Written by Adams/Moore/Sinclair
Produced by John Sinclair for Sarm Productions
Released by Polydor (UK) Ltd in 1981, POSP 261

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Radio:

Roger, your ship is out of control
Robot override imperative, repeat imperative
Suggest you assign control to Marvin

Captain:

This is your Captain calling The temperature is falling
Why is it that I cannot read you?
Listen man, I really need you
Please answer

OK man, here's the plan
You make it hard to love you
Raise your hand, metal hand, to the controls, the control panel above you
I can't move, I'm trapped here, damn it Marvin

Marvin, please acknowledge
Marvin?
Marvin, this is your Captain, please acknowledge
Well, just nod your head if you can hear me

Make it soon, old pal
My vision is cloudy, blurring
And my speech, my speech is slurring
Please help me

Marvin:

Marvin here
Never fear
All systems clear
Don't lose your cool, Captain

You know, this is only the second time in thirty million years
That I've had anything remotely challenging enough
To absorb my massive brain for more than two minutes
You know, old skipper, these blacks holes are really bad news to be trapped in

Captain:

Oh Marvin, I was always your biggest fan you old son of a bitch

Marvin:

I thought you'd like that

Captain:

What the hell was going on, you know Marvin?

Marvin:

Well, it doesn't take me long to get nothing done

Captain:

Wow, what a robot; look at her go

Marvin:

Look at her go

Captain:

You've got to hand it to that robot

Marvin:

It's a good thing you did hand it to me, isn't it?

Captain:

Ok Marvin, just try to edge my spacesuit a bit nearer to me, would you buddy?

Marvin:

This is some ship isn't it, my Captain?
All right crew, let's settle down shall we?
Let's get on with the business of flying a spaceship