"Reasons To Be Miserable"

by Marvin, the Paranoid Android

A titular paraody of "Reasons to Be Cheerful" by Ian Dury And The Blockheads.

Written by Adams/Moore/Sinclair
Produced by John Sinclair for Sarm Productions
Released by Polydor (UK) Ltd in 1981 on Depressive Discs, POSP 333

---

Reasons to be miserable give my brain a pain
Very little turns me on; Marvin is my name
I'm a robot, it's my lot, a robot full of cares
I'd feel a little better if they broke me up for spares
Everything I say or do I find the world condemning
If I had my time again I'd rather be a lemming

I'm just a menial robot
Ah well

They drive me crazy with their "Marvin close the door"
Well isn't it enough to make you "Tidy up the floor"?
You know, it spoils a robot's day
"Marvin, when you're finished you can put yourself away"

I'm going to flip my lid
They treat me like a kid

Robot naughty, robot bad
Robot happy, robot sad
Who's a clever robot lad?
It would drive a human mad
Robots are inhuman, robots are inhuman
Human robots are in, human robots are in

I get no satisfaction
I'm bored

Can't bear these humans when they make me do their work
I'd rather be a calculator
Treat me like a jerk
That will be the day
Pat me on the head; I'd rather be a percolator
It would be no trouble just to bubble life away

Don't get a holiday
Or friends to stay

How can a robot think
With his elbows in the sink?
"Marvin, peel a grape"
Is there no escape?
"Marvin, dig a hole"
"Play some rock and roll"

Yeah, dig it

I really hate it when they underload my brain
Washing up the dirty dishes
Diodes give me pain
Walking dogs and feeding fishes
Driving me insane
Just a metal slave is what a robot is and always will remain