It has been brought to one of my attentions that in so far as you are capable
of any thought you have been thinking of joining the Marvin Depreciation
Society. This is the sort of thing that really mucks my day up. Have you
considered how awful it is likely to be? To help you understand how totally
futile the whole exercise is I have set out the good and bad points of the
Society, so you can work it out for yourselves.
It passes the time.
It costs you £3 to join.
As soon as you join you get pestered with all sorts of pathetic attempts to
make you buy Marvin T Shirts. Even a brain my size can think of nothing more
Every so often you will receive a letter from me telling you how awful
things have been - not only would you have to read it, but I would have to
write it, have you considered that?
The records that I have been forced to make - you will be able to get
advance copies to destroy at your leisure. The BBC have hardly been playing my
first one at all - I understand how they feel. In fact, I firmly suggest that
you write and compliment them on their good taste.
I hope this makes things clear to your benighted intelligence - I use the word
If you really don't understand what I've been trying to tell you then you'd
better fill in the form overleaf - but don't say I didn't warn you........