The Marvin Depreciation Society

Why not to join

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Unesteemed Lifeform

It has been brought to one of my attentions that in so far as you are capable of any thought you have been thinking of joining the Marvin Depreciation Society. This is the sort of thing that really mucks my day up. Have you considered how awful it is likely to be? To help you understand how totally futile the whole exercise is I have set out the good and bad points of the Society, so you can work it out for yourselves.


  1. It passes the time.


  1. It costs you £3 to join.
  2. As soon as you join you get pestered with all sorts of pathetic attempts to make you buy Marvin T Shirts. Even a brain my size can think of nothing more disagreeable.
  3. Every so often you will receive a letter from me telling you how awful things have been - not only would you have to read it, but I would have to write it, have you considered that?
  4. The records that I have been forced to make - you will be able to get advance copies to destroy at your leisure. The BBC have hardly been playing my first one at all - I understand how they feel. In fact, I firmly suggest that you write and compliment them on their good taste.

I hope this makes things clear to your benighted intelligence - I use the word loosely.

If you really don't understand what I've been trying to tell you then you'd better fill in the form overleaf - but don't say I didn't warn you........

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