Pithy Sayings

Sex

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Her breasts were like ripe strawberries, but much bigger, a completely different colour, not as bumpy, and without the little green things on top.
[By Stephen B Gray in It Was a Dark and Stormy Night compiled by Scott Rice, 2007]

After a time he [Peter Pan] fell asleep, and some unsteady fairies had to climb over him on their way home from an orgy.
[From Peter Pan and Wendy by James Matthew Barrie, 1911]

My enhanced sexual prowess was matched only by my godlike intellect.
[From a review of speaker cable on Amazon.com by J Jordan, 2010]

Cheese crumbs spread in front of a copulating pair of rats may distract the female, but not the male.
[From "Sexual Behavior in the Human Female" by Alfred Charles Kinsey, et al, 1953, quoted in Bonk by Mary Roach, 2008]

Brought up in an epoch when ladies apparently rolled along on wheels, Mr. Quarles was perculiarly susceptible to calves, [and] found modern fashions a treat ....
[From PointCounter Point by Aldous Huxley, 1928]

Much more of this bloody connubial bliss, and I swear we'll kill each other, Henry and me.
[From The History Man by Malcolm Bradbury, 1975]

"You're not worried about the danger of having sex at your age?"
"If she dies, she dies."
[Ronald Pickup, in the film The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, 2012]

Their [pubic lice] presence in armpits and eyebrows is not the product of their long migration over the hairless deserts between the groin and the promised land. If you have crab lice in your eyebrows, you probably earned them.
[From Furtive Fauna by Roger M. Knutson, 1996]

"There are three reasons, Mr Brown, why I will not dance with you. The first, I fear, is that you've had a little too much to drink. The second is that this is not, as you seem to suppose, a waltz the orchestra is playing but the Peruvian national anthem, for which you should be standing to attention. And the third reason why we may not dance, Mr Brown, is that I am the Cardinal Archbishop of Lima."
[Quoted in Tired and Emotional: The Life of Lord George-Brown by Peter Patterson, 1993]

I'm very much in favor of gay marriage. I think it's about time they suffered too.
[From The Greedy Bastard Diary by Eric Idle, 2005]

One minute no chick in the world. ... And the next they're sniffing around. And you're going wow, when I changed from Old Spice to Habit Rouge, things definately got better.
[From Life by Keith Richards, 2010]

I am a warrior, and an assassin. I do not dance.
[Zoe Saldana, in the film Guardians of the Galaxy, 2014]

Gamora is not the one for you, Quill. There are two types of beings in the universe, those who dance and those who do not. ... You just need to find a woman who is pathetic, like you.
[Dave Bautista, in the film Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, 2017]

You are horrifying to look at, yes. But that's a good thing. When you are ugly and someone loves you, you know they love you for who you are. Beautiful people never know who to trust.
[Dave Bautista, in the film Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, 2017]