#103v2

“The Downward Spiral”  THE BOTTOM


I couldn’t believe how easy it was.
I put the gun into my face.  Bang.
That was what I had to do then because
I can’t live in this evil place.  Dang.

A lifetime of messing things up fixed in one determined flash.

It seemed like a beautiful day.  Ecstasy flowed in every way.
I’ve been waiting long for this day.  My destiny points that way.
A day to have fun.  Something must be done.
When the day’s begun, it fell like the sun.

Don’t do it, I told myself.  She was very rude herself.
She just wanted me to leave.  But I did what I believe.
I swore that I would do this to myself.  I keep my promises.
But I regret doing this to myself.  I always risk chances.

She told me to go away.  My heartbeat was cut with a knife.
I just left and went my way.  That is why I ended my life.
That’s when I saw the downward spiral...
When I thought about her in my mind, a spiral is what I’ve come to find.
I walked closer.  I moved closer.
The spiral kept spinning further.
I stood in a world of ruin.  The spiral I must be within.
What do I do now?  I explore the spiral.
I go look around.  Somehow, I’ve seen it all.
I recognize this place.  My life is like this place.
It’s a place of hell and misery.  Just like my life always had to be.

Everything’s red in this world.  Many lost souls live here.
But how can I leave this world?  This place is my worst fear.
I want out of this spiral.  But I can’t escape at all.

I look in front of me.  There’s tons of souls in front of my face.
I look right behind me.  Even more souls come into this place.
It feels like the depths of hell.  But we didn’t do a thing to sin.
Where am I?  It’s hard to tell.  We just lost something we couldn’t win.

I was up above it.  I was doing good back up above.
Now I am down in it.  Now I’m in this spiral without love.
I flew right into a trap.  There might have been a way to avoid it.
That is when my mind went snap.  I realized that I can’t escape it.

Many souls just like mine come here to suffer long.
These souls like mine have never felt love all life long.
Just because we couldn’t get love, we had to die.
After suicide, we’re forced to this spiral place.
But we miss living in life, that is not a lie.
I miss my true love.  I just want to see her face.
I just need a girl to love.  Now you can’t love since you’re not alive.
Now I’ll never get my love.  Like you even could when you were alive.
Forever, you are stuck in this spiral.  Admit it.
Because your goal to get love had to fail.  Accept it.

What can I do now?  I need help somehow.
I just had to end it all.  Now I’m stuck in a spiral.
I want to live.  I want to love.
But it’s a long hard road out of this spiral.
I want to be in life above.
But I’m  sinking lower in this downward spiral.

It looks like I’m trapped inside this downward spiral.
I’ll do anything to get out of this spiral.
I just need to find a way.  I need to leave this kingdom.
Only if there was a way.  But I'm trapped at the bottom.
Only if there was a way.  There is not a way at all.
But I’ll never find way.  Out of the downward spiral. 


10-6-97
8:45PM



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