#236

“My Family”

My Family...
who I grew up with.
Who I have lived with.
I know who they are.
But do they know who I am?

I am a black sheep.
Different in the most bizarre ways.
Deep within my mind,
it is like an ultimate maze.
Nobody can figure me out.
Nobody knows what I’m about.

Six years of suffering.
I am too ugly.
I am naturally show.
Emotional bleeding.
Pain lives inside me.
On the outside, it won’t show.

But my family tries to judge me.
My Dad talks before he thinks.
My mom acts like she knows everything.
They judge me without investigation.
Their image of me.
It is blurred by people all around.
But it seems perfectly clear to them.
.....

My brother.
He is smart about society.
But he acts like he knows about me.
His pain is a scab compared to mine.
His answers were never hard to find.
My parents pay for his life success.
He could heal when his life was a mess.
Everything was handed to him.
But what about me?
I was slow-minded since I was young.
I’ve been tormented since I was young.
In sixth grade, I lost my first true love.
And my family gave me a shove.
I was hurt and nobody was there.
No one would help me.  No one would care.
I struggled throughout my painful life.
I almost ended it with a knife.

I suffered so much from people.
Nobody has suffered so much mental pain.
That is why no one understands where I come from.
And my family.
They do not care about my lonliness.
They just want me to succeed.
But I can’t with this six-year lonliness.
They wonder why I got so messed up in life.
If they would have been there for me six years ago,
I might have stood a better chance.
They now know how psychotic I am.
Besides my book-smart brother,
who knows nothing of being ugly, slow, and unfortunate,
my family is now trying to help me.
....... but it is too late.