He
was born in Krendar,
a small town in eastern Saskatchewan on February 30th, 1946. Speaking
his native tongue, Esperanto, he slowly allowed himself to be assimilated by the
overwhelming influence of English (of which he learned from watching unedited
Nickelodeon and old Jackie Chan movies). He soon developed a liking for
Raisinettes, which is what eventually brought him to America. The Fascist
Saskatchewanian government (controlled by the Exposiites) had imposed tight
regulations on Raisinette consumption, and he longed for the fabled land of
"Vacaville" where the Raisinettes were said to flow like wine. So he
played Foosball (The official pastime of Krendar) into the late warm
Saskatchewanian evenings where he attempted to perfect his game so that one day
he could make it to the Big Leagues and move to Vacaville.
There he would escape the clutches of the evil Regime of Saskatchewan,
the Exposiites, and distance himself from the Regime’s plan for world
Domination.
He practiced and
practiced, but to no avail. The talent scouts had no use for someone with eight
fingers. So in desperation, he gave up his dream of a professional Foosball
career in America, and went to work at Dog Manufacturing Inc (DMI). Quickly
growing tired of making Mexican Hairless Chihuahuas (his division in the
company), he became friends with a family of Meerkats. Their youngest son,
Alfonse, became his best friend. Alfonse, already an established German Shepherd
smuggler to the US, was able to disguise him as a dogg and help him realize his
dream. After making it across the border, Pedro made the mistake of stopping at
a local 7-11 to stock up on the cherished Raisinettes. This mistake allowed
Border Guards to spot him and Alfonse. In desperation, he used the Krendar
Deathgrip and killed the guards. But
a shot squeezed off before death hit Alfonse in the chest, killing him.
Now Pedro was alone and pursued.
The Expos Mafia
(later to become the Montreal Expos baseball franchise) caught wind of his
escape. To stop the escaping
Meerkat, the expos mafia sent “Biftek Agents” to kill him, so as to silence
him from revealing Saskatchewan’s evil plan of global control.
The Meerkat went incognito and rode the rails to California on a mission
to get to the place of which he had dreamed…Vacaville. Keeping
it on the DL (the “Down Low”) he met up with two ass-dirty bums, Colin
Redoak and Flanders McJohnson, and a Madagascarian Tree Lemur, Leroy.
With them he shared his tale of whoa (Rob Noir).
This tale my
comrades, is how Planet of the Meerkats online came to be.
It was started by these four rebels in an effort to fight the plague of
popular culture that Exposiites were constructing.
Forming a secret underground resistance group known as the “Merciful
Shroud of Doom (MDS**),” they were a scrappy band of Ninjas who performed
covert operations to undermine the grip that the Exposiites were slowly closing
on the planet under the guise of mainstream glamour and popular culture.
Gathering followers with Pedro and Leroy at the helm as mentors, the MDS
Ninjas began their quest.
ROLL CALL!!
Flanders…check. Colin…check.
P-horse…check. Adrock…check.
Tuvac…check. Cool-Guy…check.
Regulators!! Mount up…
**MDS is actually
the Esperanto Acronym of the Merciful Shroud of Doom.
And Esperanto, as we all know, makes no sense.