We join the story in the autumn
of 1995. Country House has beaten Roll With It to Number One and
critics are in short-lived raptures over The Great Escape. Blur, however, are
suffering in the hungover aftermath of yet another US tour
Back in England, the first public signs of internal strain were beginning to show.
"The band didnt take well to success," recalls Stephen Street. "There
was a succession of slight breakdowns at that time, although whilst making The Great
Escape they seemed very happy. If they had problems is wasnt aware of them.
"I was never aware of Damons apparent problems with coke. I never saw him do
anything like hat in the studio so it was news to me. In the studio there was always wine
and beer but nothing stronger."
Over several pints of lager in his (still) beloved Good Mixer, Graham told journalist
Keith Cameron of his ambivalence towards the bands victory in the chart
war with Oasis. "I got the phone call and though thats really
nice
Then it got to Sunday night and I found myself getting uneasy and acting
a bit weird." He went on to candidly express that "my life is a mass of
confusion
and I feel like Im letting Damon down in a lot of ways."
He also expressed his unease with and alienation from two elements of Blurs
lifestyle at the time. First, he gave his take on the new laddism: "If he
[Damon] wants to go on about football and Page Three girls that means we all get
associated with it
I hate football and I hate anything associated with Page Three
girls." He railed against the most obvious symbol of this as far as the group were
concerned Damien Hirst's embarrassing video for Country House.
"I hated it. Videos in general I feel completely awful about
but I regret
Country House as a single
I like the song but the association with it has
become something else. It becomes Page Three and Benny Hill and I dont think I had
the sense to complain about it which is my fault. I didnt realise what dirty
minds Keith Allan and Damien Hurst had. Theyre from an area which I dont want
to associate with anymore."
This led to Graham declaring his contempt for aspects of pop-star life. "The mixer
aint the Groucho
Why do you have to go some exclusive, celebrity-ridden place
to have a good time? I dont want to be snorting coke and drinking champagne with
them cunts. I wanna be talking with my friends.
It didnt take holmesian deductive powers to work out that Alex, his flamboyant
lifestyle and his choice of drinking partners were the chief targets of Grahams
disdain. The two inseparable Goldsmiths chums had, sadly, become polarised at the furthest
ends of the band. Graham was involved with a staunchly feminist member of an
uncompromisingly uncommercial indie group [Jo from Huggy Bear] who by day worked in a
left-wing bookshop and immersed herself in obscure American hardcore music. Alex was
living the life he always lusted after: a fêted pop star thrust into a bachelor life, to
entirely willingly, but enjoying it to the full.
A diary he wrote for The Idler magazine ends with an account of the conclusion to
one evenings revels: "Have some horrible fizzy beer and go outside to be sick.
Someone follows and asks for my autograph. Have a few beers and talk utter gobshite with
Steve Mackey, my favourite bassist, and stumble home with the girls. Put the Kylie Minogue
on and get the phone book out. Play the entire Oasis album down Albarns and much
worse probably. Pink gin, white Russian and ruby red margaux. You only live once. Get
drunk, be a tart, enjoy yourself. The end."
ALEX JAMES: "Perhaps I did take it most enthusiastically. Dave had stopped drinking
and hes just got married and moved to Hampstead and settled down for a quiet life.
Damon was with Justine. And my girlfriend, Justine
well, she couldnt bear what
Id become. I was like Whoarr! I am gorgeous! Id become impossible
to live with: arrogant, greedy, selfish. So she moved out and suddenly Im on my own,
living in the West End, in the coolest band in the world with loads of money and an
expensive champagne habit. Id moved out of my parents house to share with
Justine when we ell in love so Id never really lived on my own before."
He may have been more anonymous that Damon, but at that time Alex was one of Sohos
most high profile boulevardiers. "Id always wanted to be an idiot genius Soho
alcoholic. I thought it was a good lifestyle. I was just thinking if your band is cool you
can go to all these shit stinko places and sit next to Prince and be ridiculous and blow
raspberries cos youve had your champagne. I thought you might as well get in there
and see whats going on. Lets have it all, you know.
"I was just becoming good friends with Keith and Damien at this point. They felt like
kindred spirits. They seemed very clever: they seemed to know more than everyone else.
Success is a fickle street to live on but thats no reason to curl up and stay in
your room. Yes, its ridiculous and its bollocks. But it wont last so
chop em out.
"The Mars Bar in Endell Street became the major hang. Plus I was living above
Freuds. I was living above a cocktail bar and I was in the Mars Bar so often they
gave me the keys. It was like Dantes Inferno."
Although initially relations were cordial, indeed Damon had originally been an habitué
of the Groucho with Allen and Hirst too, all but Alex turned their back to that
lifestyle with a vengeance.
"Graham and Damon really hated Keith and Damien," says Ales. "I dont
know why really. Well, obviously, at the time Grahams got this very right-on
feminist girlfriend. If I had to analyse his feelings Id say he was torn between
wanting to make art and the demands of the business. I think he was tormented by the fact
that Country House wasnt our best record but it sold more than anything
else. That was what he was famous for but not what he was proud of."
GRAHAM COXON: "I ended up being the milkman [in the Country House
video]. If Id done what I was supposed to I would have had a lobotomy by now. I
was supposed to do all sorts of nasty things getting bottoms in my face and chasing
girls. Theres some unintentionally funny bits where Im not chasing them.
Come on, Graham, chase them! and Im running in the opposite direction.
It was so stupid. Alex thought it was great. Damon thought it was cheeky. Its all The
Guardians fault for saying football was OK. So Damon got into being a lad.
Apparently, you could kick someones head in as long as you could write an essay
about it. You had to go on about tits but if you knew why you were doing it that somehow
makes you less of a pig. It was all an excuse to act horrendously, I thought. Of course
Alex was loving Damien Hirst and Keith Allen. It made me very unhappy. I felt like a real
stick in the mud or a monk or something. I was scared people thought I didnt like
girls. I do. But I dont think you have to be rude about them. So I wasnt a
proper bloke."
When Blur had performed on the roof of the Oxford Street HMV in the autumn, Damon had
preface The Universal by saying, Youll all be singing this at
Christmas, a reference to their intention to release it as a single at the
years end and the confidence that surrounded this gambit. The Universal
was duly released in mid-November. It only reached Number Five, overshadowed by the
clamour surrounding Oasis. As Alex succinctly puts it, "After being the Peoples
Hero, Damon was the Peoples Prick for a short period. After Wonderwall ,
basically he was a loser very publicly. It was a silly business to get into, but it
did take it all to a higher level. When the 90s are looked back on, all that
bollocks will be remembered."
As Blur rolled day and night from placid, over looked English coastal resorts to soulless
aircraft hangers to theatres and rock clubs across Europe and the US, the tension in the
air became more apparent to those at close quarters. The tour bus rocked with argument as
Graham fought for his beloved hardcore music and Gravity Records. "I wasnt
obsessed," he says. "I still loved my Beatles and my Simon & Garfunkel. But
I wanted to push the Kinks back in their faces."
The rancorous and weary mood at the end of 1995 and the beginning of 1996 was caught
luridly in a piece by Adrian Deevoy in Q early in the New Year. Its blurb ran:
Are Blur really going to the dogs? Behind all the adoring screams, we hear internal
bickering, the tell-tale snii-i-iff! of media-centric decadence and a hollow champagne
chink. Adrian Deevoy finds them in the verge of a nervous break-up.
During the interview, Graham was inebriated, irritable and punching those around him. In a
curious aside, he said that what might split the band up would be death. "Or if we
made another Parklife. I dont think we could carry on if one of us
left
unless it was Alex."
It was Damons answer to Deevoys questions about cocaine that quickly became
notorious, though. Everyone is taking drugs apart from Graham and me. We are
virtually the only exceptions in the entire scene. He drinks too much, I drink a lot but
not as much as him and I smoke a bit of dope, but thats it. Theres a fucking
blizzard of cocaine in London at the moment and I hate it. Its stupid. Everyone
becomes so blasé, thinking theyre so ironic and witty and wandering around with
this stupid cokey confidence. Wankers. I mean, I did it but I cant say I was a
cocaine addict. And I cant say whether that was what triggered the weird experience
last year.
Not surprisingly, when the piece appeared it caused a fury within the group and their
entourage. Dave Rowntree: "Theres a blizzard of cocaine and I hate it? Hate it
when its gone, maybe. Christ, he got some fucking shit over that. He basically fired
off with this 360 degree spray of bullets that implied Im the only one in the
whole music industry that isnt addicted to cocaine. Everyones mum read
it! Everyone we worked with had an awful lot of explaining to do to their mums! And
customs officers! Damon was eating humble pie for a while after that."
By February 1996, Blur were sewn together very awkwardly, during a recording of TFI
Friday, Damon made disparaging references to Alex and the groups fall from
public grace. Graham missed an appearance on a prime-time Italian TV show as he was house
hunting and was replaced by a cardboard cut-out. Alex missed the plane and his place was
taken by Smoggy, the groups head of security.
Though still comfortably a Top Ten band (Stereotypes, the next single, reached
Number Seven), the group were clearly at the end of their tether. Damon Albarn had himself
become tired of what was now the groups perceived oeuvre. "I can sit at my
piano and write brilliant observational pop songs all day long but youve got to move
on." He also acknowledged Grahams fascination in the more lo-fi, underground
and extreme ends of the musical spectrum.
"I think Damon was coming round himself," says Graham. "Hed stared
listening to the folky side of Beck and Pavement and the Beastie Boys, which hes
always hated. Hed always said hip hop had no tunes."
STEPHEN STREET: "I went for a drive with Damon and we talked through what kind of
record we could make. He wanted to change things and I could see his point. I said,
Lets strip everything down, lets not use strings and brass. I
think Damon was pleased that I liked the idea. Damon had tried to involve Graham I think,
but Graham had turned his back on the band. I had to go and talk him into it. So I went to
a pub in Camden to meet Graham and we had an interesting conversation. He was really
anti-Alex, who he thought was being a complete arsehole with Keith Allen and Damien Hirst,
and he wouldnt be in the same room as him. I was very worried theyd break up.
Graham thought Alex had become the devil. I reported back and said Ive done
what I can but youll have to tread very carefully."
GRAHAM COXON: "I actually dont remember this meeting. But its true that
by the end of that massive tour I was sick of the industry and everything. It was just
getting too jolly and too much into this music hall thing which I dont feel any
connection to at all. Id bottle it up and have mad outbursts on tour. I was getting
into hip-hop and getting scruffy and baggy clothes-wise. I brought some Pavement records
in during The Great Escape and they were instantly dismissed by everyone.
"Id have some drinks and fly off the handle and say I wanted to be in a
death-metal hardcore hip-hop group. Perhaps I was being mardy but I wanted to know why I
couldnt play the music I liked. I was very pissed off. I had this great big shout at
Damon. It seemed to me at that moment that if you didnt have the same pinion as
Damon everyone thought you were zero and Damon thought you were mad. So I had this great
big shout on the bus and it all went funny after that and we didnt talk.
"That was the low spot. I was ready to pack it in. We had a serious chat about the
group and I remember Dave saying something about us having to work this band
and that seemed so foreign. Its not my duty, I thought. I had to do something to
apologise
to inspire
to say my piece. So I wrote Damon a letter before we
recorded Blur. I said I wanted to scare people again. Hes probably still
got it. Well, I hope he has anyway.
DAMON ALBARN: "Everyones losing it. Grahams miserable. Im
miserable. Daves doing his own thing. Alex
well, he was loving it although it
did fuck him up a bit. Graham particularly hated having the little girl fans. Up to the
marketing of Parklife it was a good period, really, all considered. But after
that right up until I discovered Iceland it was a living hell. I like some
of The Great Escape but cant listen to most of it. Justine had such a
downer on it. She hated The Universal. I was getting all the stuff as Graham
from his girlfriend in Huggy Bear. Justine thought what she was doing with Elastica was
much more worthy and cool. Ive always acknowledged that Justine was a great editor
of my work. But there was a lot going on. Elasticas vibe was not healthy."
Over the previous Christmas, Dave Rowntree confesses theyd been on the verge of
updating their CVs. "it didnt look like Graham could work with Damon and Damon
didnt want to continue if Graham wasnt in the band and I was thinking,
Fucking hell, if it carried on like this I dont want anything to do with it
anyway. Our rehearsals were like what you read about the last days of The Who
all screaming and throwing things."
"We just needed a rest from the treadmill of tours and interviews and TV
studios," diagnoses Graham. "We needed to spend some time living our own little
lives." Also, as he happily relates, "The letter worked. Letters are good. You
can say a lot without being embarrassed because youre not there when they read it.
It was still embarrassing after admitting lots of stuff to then meet up and play together.
But he was scared too. I didnt know how enthusiastic Id be. But the new songs
were inspiring."
Out of this period of doubt and chaos came Blur: complex, primitive,
utterly different right from its very beginnings. Rather than working from Damons
demos in the studio, the band jammed without any preconceived structures. "We just
played together for two weeks in a way we hadnt done since 1991," Dave recalls.
"We wanted to purify the sound, to not have anything there not played by us. We
reasoned that if we made small changes at the input end, we could effect large changes in
the output."
Salvation also came in the form of a most unlikely source: 40,000 square miles of lave,
ice field and tundra just south of the Arctic circle. In Icelands otherworldly
beauty and solitude (and raucously accepting nightlife), Damon found everything that the
fag-end of Britpop couldnt offer: anonymity, grandeur, escape. Damon was convinced
by the rightness of Iceland. Not so Graham. "I said, Theres
no fucking way Im going. Id just bought a flat and just come off a
six-month tour. I didnt see the point after all that of going off somewhere else and
spending 12 hours a day with each other. It was preposterous. I couldnt believe
hes suggested it."
A compromise was reached. Initial sessions would take place at Mayfair studios in London
and then, halfway through, the result would be transferred to tape and taken to Reykjavik
where Street, engineer John Smith, Damon and Alex would continue working mainly on vocals
and keyboards. Another major change was that Street had acquired a new piece of hardware
"muso-ish to talk about but really useful" that enabled him to
sample loops and otherwise cut-and-paste entire sections of the bands jam sessions.
These sessions occupied the band or the remainder of the year. There were few other
media-profile activities beyond a charity football match in which Damon and Liam Gallagher
were seen symbolically bury the hatchet with a handshake for the cameras, and the release
in the late spring of a fourth, perfunctory single from The Great Escape
ironically Charmless Man, the song Damon sees as the barrel-bottom of
his character study period.
They showed themselves for one major outdoor gig at the RDS showgrounds in Dublin in June.
It was a commendable set, performed to enthusiastic fans under a leaden Irish sky, just
hours after England had put Spain out of the Euro 96 tournament on penalties. What
lingered in the memory, though, were two new songs: Chinese Bombs and
Song 2.
These songs were put into their splendid context when the fifth Blur album entitles,
simply Blur was released eight months later in early February 1997.
"When I first heard it," admits Andy Ross, "I was taken aback. Wed
won Brits, wed won two consecutive Q magazine Albums Of The Year and my
initial reaction was its awkward and difficult. My immediate reaction was will you
sell as many records? Wheres my royalties? Everyones first reaction to it was
that it was a departure: thats clear from the artwork onwards."
Damon might play this down but theres no doubt it was a response to the second album
backlash: Lets keep our heads down and make an album that sticks its two
fingers up and is avowedly non-commercial. Ironically, it became their biggest
international record.
Damon recalls that EMI had their misgivings about the new venture. "The usual thing
Its got no singles on it. Meanwhile, theyre giving
Radiohead the full marketing works. That hurt for a while because weve done so well
for then. We were trying to be really brave. But it was all made up pretty quickly."
In fact, Graham remembers being pleasantly surprised by Parlophone MD Tony
Wadsworths reaction. "We played him Song 2 as a bit of a test of
whether he was on our wavelength. We told him this was the second single. Course, we had
no idea that it would be. He sat there, grinning Definitely! Definitely a
single!"
Its a testament to how much improved relations were within the group that directly
after the UK release of Blur, they set off if not with spring in step
then certainly without slouch of shoulder for what would be effectively nine months
on the road across countless countries. Partly this was due to the energising nature of
the new music and its compatibility with raucous nightly performance. But it was also down
to a growing acceptance of each other. Dave Rowntree once said that Blurs
relationship was like brothers in the truest sense. It wasnt sweetly affectionate or
bland indeed, it was often angry and awkward but always close and loyal. Now
it was becoming grown-up too.
"The end result of all the hostility and Graham and Damon communicating by letter and
the rest was that we began to accept each other as four individuals," Dave explains.
"Damon started to stand back a little. In interviews hed often expound a
particular line whether we agreed or not. Up till then hed been very authoritarian
and if you disagreed you were wrong. Everybody started to get a voice. It was never
actually said but the feeling was, if were staying together then theres no
party line. Everyone could do their own thing. It was the end of our adolescence."
That April bought another corkscrew twist in Blurs never-plottable trajectory.
Song 2, the incandescent, white-hot nugget of gonzoid metal with the
"woo-hoo" hook improvised on the hoof, was released as a single.
A month before it was released, US computer hardware giants Intel released their Pentium
II processor and they instantly fell upon Song 2 as their ad anthem. Nike
followed suit. It became the theme music of the USA ice hockey team, the trailer music for
the movie Starship Troopers and was used as a theme for Sony PlayStation game FIFA
98. Number Two in the UK, it was Number One from Australia to Greenland. It all added
up to "a very nice-ker-ching factor", as Alex puts it. An estimated £2 million
worth.
GRAHAM COXON: "What a ridiculous think that was. Song 2 made more of a
difference financially than anything else. It could have made a hell of a lot more
difference, actually, if wed listened to the devil even more. The American army
wanted to use it as the theme music for video packages when they unveiled the brand new
Stealth bomber. They were offering phenomenal amounts of cash. We couldnt agree to
it, of course, but it was quite cool. So we put it on FIFA which was OK cos The
Guardian had said footballs OK."
Late 1997: On one level, Damons life was busy and involving. In the autumn of
97 he appeared in a Radio 3 broadcast of Joe Ortons Up Against It
(originally written for the Beatles but never performed because Brian Estein disapproved).
Albarn took the part originally intended for George Harrison. He also appeared as a
gangster in director Antonia Birds Face and worked with Michael Nyman on
music for a Noel Coward tribute album. He was finding musical inspiration in much that was
new: Eno, Dub, Neu and American curiosities such as Pavement whose leader Stephen Malkmus
he was briefly, ambivalently friendly with.
But his personal life was in the darkest disarray. His relationship with Justine was
disintegrating under sundry pressures. While they had never been rigidly monogamous,
gossip mounted about infidelities on both sides, involving everyone from female Austrian
VJs to Brett Anderson to the vocalist in defunct indie outfit Kingmaker.
DAMONALBARN: "it was unrealistic or naïve to think we could go through the mill of
that fame thing and it not throw you right off centre. But I shouldnt just blame it
on celebrity. I was in the wrong relationship. My life was not right. Not in harmony.
Everything stems from your emotional life and mine just wasnt working at all. It was
really dysfunctional. So I was misfiring everywhere. Iceland helped. It was a very strong
positive experience but the truth is it gets more fucked up and worse back home.
Theres been times over the past year, when my panic attacks started, that I really
needed support and Justine didnt provide it. Quite the opposite. She had her own
problems, but she could have been more helpful. I dont know how she could have done
some of the things she did when you consider what id done for her."
Damon feels that hi major contribution to Elasticas success and the help and support
he offered Justine went largely unrecognised and unreciprocated from his partner. "It
was almost as if she didnt like me for some reason."
Jealousy?
"Well, you start to think so, dont you? The rest of the band never really knew
what was happening. But they knew enough. I dont think it even occurred to them that
I was keeping hidden how fucked up I was. Maybe they knew. Certainly everyones a lot
happier now that Im happier. I think they were angry for me."
Damon acknowledges that Elastica were in a troubled state themselves. Dark rumours of
heroin addiction had been swirling around the group since Annie Holland had left two years
earlier citing repetitive strain injury. "I think its very difficult to talk
about drugs in a responsible way, however genuine your intention is," he had said in
late 1997. "Its not discussible because its not controllable. I have no
say over anything once its down on tape.
"Elastica and Justine had got into a weird, bad place. There were bad things
happening. Not healthy. There seemed to be darkness around all the time. I had a period
there myself. If the truth be known, a lot of 13 stems from that period.
Id rented this flat for a year and I wrote a lot of the lyrics there.
Tender dates from then. Very painful. Agonisingly slow. Getting caught up in
your own misery. Misery is something you musn't wallow in. great if youre running
from it as fast as you can and not wallowing. I did a bit of that. It was sad
and I
finished. I had to get away."
So, in a gloomy one-bedroomed flat in the shabby yet genteel immigrant enclave of
Goldborne Road, West London, the seeds of 13 were sown