The Story Of Jack Schitt Jack Schitt is the son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Kneedeep N. Schitt, Inc. In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt and the deeply religious couple produced 6 children: Holie Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt. Against her parents objections, Deap Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school drop out. After being married 15 years, Jack Schitt and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt married Mr. Sherlock, and because of her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her last name, making her Noe Schitt-Sherlock. Dip Schitt married Loada Schitt and the two produced a nervous son, Chicken Schitt. Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt were inseperable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg Schitt, Byrd Schitt, and Hoarse Schitt. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned with his wife, Pisa Schitt. And now you know the story of Jack Schitt.