PRIVATE EYE I dragged this lake looking for corpses Dusted for prints, pried up the floorboards Pieces of planes and black box recorders Don't lie (don't lie) And I've been preoccupied with these sick, sick senses That sense DNA on barbed wire fences Maybe someday I'll find me a suspect That has no alibi New Year's Eve was as boring as heaven I watched flies fuck on channel 11 There was no one to kiss, there was nothing to drink Except some old rotten milk someone left in the sink And there's no ring, there's no ring, on the phone anymore There's no reason to call I passed out on the floor Smoked myself stupid and drank my insides raisin dry But at the right place at the right time I'll be dead wrong and you'll be just fine And I won't have to quit doing fucked up shit For anyone but me And the right place at the right time It will have been worth it to stand in line And you won't have to stop Saying "I love cops" for anyone but me Your private eye I dragged this lake looking for corpses Dusted for prints, pried up the floorboards Pieces of planes and black box recorders Don't lie (don't lie) And I've been preoccupied with these sick, sick senses That sense DNA on barbed wire fences Maybe someday I'll find me a suspect That has no alibi But at the right place at the right time I'll be dead wrong and you'll be just fine And I won't have to quit doing fucked up shit For anyone but me And the right place at the right time It will have been worth it to stand in line And you won't have to stop Saying "I love cops" for anyone but me Your private eye Your private eye But at the right place at the right time I'll be dead wrong and you'll be just fine And I won't have to quit doing fucked up shit For anyone but me And the right place at the right time It will have been worth it to stand in line And you won't have to stop Saying "I love cops" for anyone but me Your private eye MR CHAINSAW When was it that you lost your youth or traded It for something more for them to use so jaded Why is it that you never said I love you more than just a friend I pray this gridlock never ends And when we get there just depends I found out recently that you are leaving For good I hope I softly tell my ceiling It's better now to be alive Sleeping is my 9 to 5 I'm having nightmares all the time Of running out of words that rhyme Everything that you could never say Would never matter anyway I took a hammer and two nails to my eardrums long ago Before that steak knife took my eyes I looked up to the sky For the last thing I would ever see For the last time I'd cry When was it that you sold your life or wasted Every bite of that small slice you never tasted I guess I should be one to talk There's nights that I can't even walk There's days I couldn't give a fuck And in between is where I'm stuck From blocks away I heard somebody screaming That small child inside of you that you left bleeding You stabbed him up not once but twice Cubicles will now suffice Some say it's the roll of the dice I think they're wrong I know I'm right Every breath that I could barely breathe Could barely make it past my teeth I took a blowtorch to both of my lungs a long, long time ago Every step that I could take Every one more difficult to make Mr. Chainsaw came and took my legs a long, long time ago In case you're wondering I'm singing About growing up, about giving in In case you're wondering I'm singing About growing up, about giving in In case you're wondering I'm singing About growing up, about giving in In case you're wondering I'm singing About growing up, about giving in TAKE LOTS WITH ALCOHOL Hello, what the hell am I doin' here? That's a really nice suit, this is a really comfortable chair See I don't know if you can help me or not Coz I don't feel sick, I don't feel sick But the pains in my head have almost put me underground I don't really care if I'm healthy or not Just clean my head up doc I'll give you anything you want See I don't know why I don't fall in love Well maybe I know why and maybe you could make it stop Then we'll cut it up and bury it and leave it underground And I'll take to wishing and fall under Sleeping safe and sound Just give me medicine, prescribe me anything Just knock me out and walk me through the door Well I have no desire to see through my own eyes anymore Anymore, ha ha ha Hello, what the hell are you doing here? You made a really strange face, this is a really uncomfortable air I see I'm boring you, maybe I bore myself too That's why I need help, I'm cleaning blood off dusty shelves I been cut up in this room so many times it might take days And those stress cracks in the wood How nicely they soak up the stains Been telling myself these jokes for so long well so long I'm a has been who is heckled on the stage Just give me medicine, prescribe me anything Just knock me out and walk me through the door Well I have no desire to see through my own eyes anymore Anymore, ha ha ha Been telling myself these jokes for so long well so long I'm a has been who is heckled on the stage Been telling myself these jokes for so long well so long I'm a has been who is heckled on the stage STUPID KID There are things that used to make me smile One of them was you for just a little while You left me for dead so far away I replaced you with fear and shame You'll be happy on the day I die There are things that used to make me laugh But now they're deeply buried in the past I left them there so far away Replaced my humor with my pain I'll be happy on the day it dies Remember when I said I love you Well forget it I take it back I was just a stupid kid back then I take back every word that I said There are things that used to make you cry One of them was me for just a little while Why is it that you had to say Goodbye in your special way You slashed the tires on my car Remember when I said I love you Well forget it I take it back I was just a stupid kid back then I take back every word that I said Remember when I said I love you Well forget it I take it back I was just a stupid kid back then I take back every word that I said ANOTHER INNOCENT GIRL He likes to act like he's all grown up He wanted to grow up to be an actor But he never told anybody He likes to spill all of his guts On the top of a well stocked bar And then swallow them bit by bit, remembering every scar It's a valid reason for every drink And a new tattoo is a new reason to think He likes to pretend that he's all sewn up It makes for a much stronger case But there is blood underneath that skin That scar is not so easy to erase He walks with a glass cane now He's careful when holding his body up straight Can't go outside anymore when it's raining Can't smash up that beautiful face Another innocent girl just made his list That self pity shit is just too hard too resist Yeah when we get home you'll see That this part of him is now part of me He likes to act like he's all grown up He wanted to grow up to be an actor But he never told anybody He likes to spill all of his guts On the top of a well stocked bar And then swallow them bit by bit, remembering every scar It's a valid reason for every drink And a new tattoo is a new reason to think Yeah when we get home you'll see That this part of him is now part of me And it's way too easy to fake this smile lead you on Maybe I'm wrong but everyone gets bored once in awhile STEAMER TRUNK Why you turned out the way you did That thunderstorm is still crashing in your cranium Find that all these funny faces look the same I know who's to blame But I swore I wouldn't say It's time that I got moving on As you're still burning the dress you wore to senior prom Try to forget how you've been touched I loved you so I told you, but it didn't matter much And I'm trying to figure out what you're all about these days I don't have much to say to you And I've been drunker than a skunk ever since the day I left you With your darkest secret safely packed away, up in my steamer trunk Why I turned out the way I did Someone somewhere dropped me on my cranium I'm sorry can you repeat what you just said My short term memory is gone But my long term's far from dead And I'm trying to figure out what you're all about these days I don't have much to say to you And I've been drunker than a skunk ever since the day I left you With your darkest secret safely packed away, up in my steamer trunk In my steamer trunk And I'm trying to figure out what you're all about these days I don't have much to say to you And I've been swearing like a sailor ever since the day I left her With your darkest secret safely packed away, up in my steamer trunk YOU'RE DEAD What the hell is your name? And can you explain this mess? It seems your playing a game Where you only know how to take out the best Coz if assholes could fly This place would be busier than O'Hare There's proof in the sky It's as thick as our skulls yet it's thinner than air I have something to say If the chip on your shoulder should fall to your chest Get it off right away Coz if you don't then it won't be in peace that you rest It's just a matter of time That we all go away to a better place, I'm told It all sounds well and fine But without you around I feel nothing but cold And I now have nothing But your heartbeat in my head And a photograph of my travelling friend So what the hell is your name? And can you explain this mess? It seems your playing a game Where you only know how to take out the best Coz if assholes could fly This place would be busier than O'Hare There's proof in the sky It's as thin as our skulls yet it's thicker than air And I now have nothing But your heartbeat in my head And a photograph of my travelling friend And I became nothing when I found out you were dead When I found out I'd never see you again And all the time they took talking in circles To get them off the hook would take miracle workers We're nowhere near prepared there's no way of knowing Why don't they just admit they're scared Coz its already showing And I now have nothing But your heartbeat in my head And a photograph of my travelling friend And I became nothing when I found out you were dead When I found out I'd never see you again ARMAGEDDON I wrote the words to this song on the back of a photograph Behind your back it goes A little something like this is way to big to miss I got a letter in the mail The sender failed to let me know where it came from Opened it up and sure enough there we were arm in arm again I know it's small but my last calls been called a half an hour ago I know it's late but do you think you could at least fix it for me Then I'll go, I'll go alone I swear, I won't tell a soul I'll drink this beer and write in fear of a song everybody hates Armageddon, let the light in Before we say goodbye give us something to believe in Armageddon, we're not begging For too much I don't think Just need a goodbye kiss (one last salute) Before we sink, we sink I wrote the words to this song on the back of a photograph Behind your back it goes A little something like this is way to big to miss I got a letter in the mail The sender failed to let me know where it came from Opened it up and sure enough there we were up in arms again Armageddon, let the light in Before we say goodbye give us something to believe in Armageddon, we're not begging For too much I don't think Just need a goodbye kiss Before we sink, we sink, we sink, we sink, we sink... Armageddon, let the light in Before we say goodbye give us something to believe in Armageddon, we're not begging For too much I don't think Wer need a last salute before we sink I'M DYING TOMORROW I'm dying tomorrow This house this street chicago I'm dying tomorrow Did I, did I do it right? Did I remember to sleep in? Take lots of pills, commit irreversible sins Did I, did I at least try To kiss the prettiest girl at the right time? Did I remember to keep your beer as full as mine? Did I, did I remember to say cheers? Did I, did I at least try to make sure everybody had a good time? Had the best time I'm dying tomorrow This house this street chicago I'm dying tomorrow Did I, did I do it right? Did I remember to stay up late? Drinking for the fun, singing for the taste Did I, did I run outside to kiss the rain under electrical skys? Did I remember to keep your beer as full as mine Did I, did I remember to say cheers Did I, did I at least try to make sure everybody had a good time? Had the best time I'm dying tomorrow In this house, in this street, chicago I'm dying tomorrow Did I, did I do it right? BLOODIED UP You don't say much of anything When questioned of your whereabouts (your whereabouts) And I just can't see through the evidence, it's evident It's right in front of me in black and white and red And I don't believe in much of anything I'm glad I have people I call friends If it was up to me I'd never have to miss you It's for the better in the bitter end I guess you'd know the best You have every right to be This appalled with me, join the club I signed up a long time ago and I know how you feel And when you decked me You left me knocked out on the floor I came to, bloodied up, but you weren't around I picked my teeth off the ground like they'd been there before You don't say much of anything When questioned of your whereabouts, your whereabouts And I just can't see through the evidence, it's evident It's right fuckin' there in black and white and red You have every right to be This appalled with me, join the club I signed up a long time ago and I know how you feel And when you decked me You left me knocked out on the floor I came to, bloodied up, but you weren't around I picked my teeth off the ground like they'd been there before TRUCKS AND CHAINS These days go by like trucks and trains Some hit so hard you barely feel a thing Lights out right now back then and forever more Lights out left now these robots marching To the nearest liquor store There's something green that's leaving town I thought it was blue, always knew I was wrong Where it goes hell knows maybe somewhere better than here And what they say of the grass on the other sides true Too much time looking up is turning everything blue Including me, including you.. including you These times count down like boats and planes Some wash away with undertow, some plummet down in flames Lights out right now back then and forever more With sirens on this ambulance is racing to the west coast shore There's something blue that's leaving town We always talked about black we're considering brown Where it goes hell knows, but somewhere better than here And what they say of the grass on the other sides true Too much time looking up's turning everything blue Including me, including the ocean, including you Feel the ocean blue Engulfing you I view the deep blue sea It's turning red right in front of me There's something grey that's leaving town And it's way beyond me how it gets off the ground Where it goes hell knows, maybe somewhere better than here And what they say of the grass on the other sides true Too much time looking up's turning everything blue Including me, including the pilots, including you CRAWL Waking up zeroed in on medicine Am I waking up at all today? Seeing lights, feeling pain There's my cure on ice I can walk but I will crawl there I will, crawl there Sitting straight, feeling faint An exhausted smile screens my words But I will hear them Here's a phrase that we all know But I can't make sense I don't know words but I will hear them I still hear them Never ran away for the sake of scars Tried not to move but she was armed and shots were fired Now a hole in the head of this wounded liar Never had a drink that I didn't like Got a taste of you, threw up all night I got more sick With every sour second rate kiss Everything I never would miss again I don't know who your boyfriend is Waking up, I'm zeroed in on medicine Am I waking up at all today? Seeing lights, feeling pain There's my cure on ice I can walk but I will crawl there I will, crawl there Never ran away for the sake of scars Tried not to move but she was armed and shots were fired Now a hole in the head of this wounded liar Never had a drink that I didn't like Got a taste of you, threw up all night I got more sick With every sour second rate kiss Everything I never would miss again... Now I don't know, I don't know I don't know who your boyfriend is I don't know, I don't know I don't know who your boyfriend is I don't know, I don't know I don't know who your boyfriend is I don't know, I don't know I don't know who your boyfriend is I don't know STANDARD BREAK (BONUS TRACK) I've got a regular problem So my standard break from life is in order I'm having trouble making sentences I'm older but I don't feel any smarter You see I don't know what I said to you And now you're pissed at you know who And I guess I deserve it Wish I could waste my time without wasting all your time I try to leave a good impression But it's hard when my obsession's in a pint glass And when you're only 23 It's not attractive to complain about your sore back Yes I can bitch until my eyes are blue And you're in bed with someone new And I guess you deserve him Wish I could waste my time without wasting all your time You say I'm fixable A classic case, lack of will I say I don't wanna try I'd rather stay here all night I've got a motivation problem So my standard break from life is getting longer Spent over 30 hours in this bed In two days, I guess I could've phoned her But now that I'm awake I'd rather take a drink and walk down to the lake And beg the sky for lightning bolts I can't waste my time without wasting all your time You say it's fixable A classic case, lack of will I say I don't wanna try I'd rather sit here all night HELL YES (BONUS TRACK) I gave up on you a long time ago How can you blame me? We made plans to meet and you never showed You kept me waiting They said everything would work out just fine They said you'd help me But as it turns out, it was all a lie And they're off someplace far away laughing at me You've been there for me one time in my life But it didn't matter You came and went so fast all my hope And faith in you shattered And now here I sit alone in this room No one to confide in You watched all my dreams come apart at the seams You laughed, you left, you waited in hiding Bless me dark father I have sinned I've done it before and I'll do it again Coz it keeps me warm, and makes you smile Been beneath me all the while Hell yes You gave up on me a long time ago I can't say I blame you I rejected the faith in your holy rays Is what it comes down to They said everything would work out just fine I just went crazy But I'm better now having a good time Being selfish, and drunken, and vulgar, and lazy Bless me dark father I have sinned I've done it before and I'll do it again Coz it keeps me warm, and makes you smile Been beneath me all the while Bless me dark father I can't win Without you I'm as good as dead Coz you keep me warm, you make me smile You've been on my shoulder all the while Whispering sweet nothings Whispering sweet nothings Whispering sweet nothings You've been whispering sweet nothings