DUMPWEED It's understood, I said it many ways Too scared to run, I'm too scared to stay I said I'd leave, I could never leave her And if I did, you know I'd never cheat her But this I ask, it's what I want to know How would you feel, if I should choose to go Another guy, you think it'd be unlikely Another guy, you think he'd wanna fight me She's a dove, she's a f*cking nightmare Unpredictable, it was my mistake to stay here On the go, it's way too late to play I need a girl that I can train I heard it once, I'm sure I heard it twice My dad used to give me all of his advice He would say "you gotta turn your back and run now Come on, son, you haven't got a chance now" She's a dove, she's a f*cking nightmare Unpredictable, it was my mistake to stay here On the go and it's way too late to play I need a girl that I can train She's a dove, she's a f*cking nightmare Unpredictable, it was my mistake to stay here On the go and it's way too late to play I need a girl that I can train Need a girl that I can train Need a girl that I can train Turn your back and run now You haven't got a chance now Need a girl that I can train Need a girl that I can train Turn your back and run now You haven't got a chance now DON'T LEAVE ME Don't leave me all alone Just drop me off at home I'll be fine, it's not the first Just like last time, but a little worse And she said that I'm not the one that she thinks about and She said it stopped being fun, I just bring her down I said "don't let your future be destroyed by my past" She said "don't let my door hit your *ss" One more chance, I'll try this time I'll give you yours, I won't take mine I'll listen up, pretend to care Go on ahead, I'll meet you there And she said that I'm not the one that she thinks about and She said it stopped being fun, I just bring her down I said "don't let your future be destroyed by my past" She said "don't let my door hit your *ss" Let's try this one more time with feeling One more time with feeling One more time with feeling One more time with feeling She said that I'm not the one that she thinks about and She said it stopped being fun, I just bring her down I said "don't let your future be destroyed by my past" She said "don't let my door hit your *ss" Don't leave me all alone Just drop me off at home And I'll be fine ALIENS EXIST Hey mom, there's something in the backroom Hope it's not the creatures from above You used to read me stories, as if my dreams were boring We all know conspiracies are dumb What if people knew that these were real (real) I'd leave my closet door open all night I know the CIA would say "what you hear is all hearsay" Wish someone would tell me what was right Up all night long And there's something very wrong And I know it must be late Been gone since yesterday I'm not like you guys I'm not like you I am still the skeptic, yes, you know me (you know me) Been best friends and will be 'til we die (die) I got an injection of fear from the abduction My best friend thinks I'm just telling lies, alright Up all night long And there's something very wrong And I know it must be late Been gone since yesterday I'm not like you guys I'm not like you Dark and scary, ordinary Explanation, information Nice to know ya, paranoia Where's my mother, biofather Up all night long And there's something very wrong And I know it must be late Been gone since yesterday I'm not like you guys Twelve majestic lies GOING AWAY TO COLLEGE Please take me by the hand It's so cold out tonight I'll put blankets on the bed I won't turn out the light Just don't forget to Think about me And I won't forget you "I'll write you once a week", she said Why does it feel the same To fall in love or break it off And if young love is just a game Then I must have missed the kick off Don't depend on me To ever follow through on Anything, but I'd go through Hell for you and I haven't been this scared in a long time And I'm so unprepared, so here's your valentine Bouquet of clumsy words, a simple melody This world's an ugly place, but you're so beautiful to me I'll think about the times She kissed me after class and She put up with my friends I acted like an *ss I'd ditch my lecture To watch the girls play soccer Is my picture Still hanging in her locker? I haven't been this scared in a long time And I'm so unprepared, so here's your valentine Bouquet of clumsy words, a simple melody This world's an ugly place, but you're so beautiful I haven't been this scared in a long time And I'm so unprepared, so here's your valentine Bouquet of clumsy words, a simple melody This world's an ugly place, but you're so beautiful WHAT'S MY AGE AGAIN I took her out, it was a Friday night I wore cologne to get the feeling right We started makin' out and she took off my pants But then, I turned on the TV And that's about the time she walked away from me Nobody likes you when you're 23 And are still more amused by TV shows What the hell is ADD, my friends say I should act my age What's my age again? What's my age again? Then later on, on the drive home I called her mom from a pay phone I said I was the cops and your husband's in jail This state looks down on sodomy And that's about the time that bitch hung up on me Nobody likes you when you're 23 And are still more amused by prank phone calls What the hell is call ID, my friends say I should act my age What's my age again? What's my age again? And that's about the time she walked away from me Nobody likes you when you're 23 And you still act like you're in freshman year What the hell is wrong with me, my friends say I should act my age What's my age again? That's about the time that she broke up with me (what's my age again?) No one should take themselves so seriously With many years ahead to fall in line Why would you wish that on me, I'll never wanna act my age What's my age again? What's my age again? What's my age again... DYSENTERY GARY Got a lotta heart ache He's a f*ckin' weasel His issues make my mind ache Wanna make a deal Coz I love your little motions You do with your pigtails What a nice creation Worth another night in jail He's a player, diarrhea giver Tried to grow his hair out, friends were listening to Slayer I'd like to find him Friday night Hanging out with mom, trying on his father's tights Life just sucks, I lost the one I'm giving up, she found someone There's plenty more Girls are such a drag So all you little ladies Be sure to choose the right guys You'll come back to me maybe I'll shower you with lies Got a lotta heart ache He's a f*ckin' weasel Decisions make my mind ache Wanna make a deal Ease away the problems and the pain The girl chose the guy that makes you wanna kick and scream All along, you wish that she would stay F*ck the guy that took and ran away, yeah He's a player, diarrhea giver Tried to grow his hair out, friends were listening to Slayer I'd like to find him Friday night Hanging out with mom and trying on his father's tights Life just sucks, I lost the one I'm giving up, she found someone There's plenty more Girls are such a drag F*ck this place, I lost the war I hate you all, your mom's a wh*re Where's my dog? Coz girls are such a drag ADAM'S SONG I never thought I'd die alone I laughed the loudest, who'd have known? I traced the cord back to the wall No wonder it was never plugged in at all I took my time, I hurried up The choice was mine, I didn't think enough I'm too depressed to go on You'll be sorry when I'm gone I never conquered, rarely came 16 just held such better days Days when I still felt alive We couldn't wait to get outside The world was wide, too late to try The tour was over, we'd survived I couldn't wait till I got home To pass the time in my room alone I never thought I'd die alone Another six months, I'll be unknown Give all my things to all my friends You'll never step foot in my room again You'll close it off, board it up Remember the time that I spilled the cup Of apple juice in the hall Please tell mom this is not her fault I never conquered, rarely came 16 just held such better days Days when I still felt alive We couldn't wait to get outside The world was wide, too late to try The tour was over, we'd survived I couldn't wait 'til I got home To pass the time in my room alone I never conquered, rarely came Tomorrow holds such better days Days when I can still feel alive When I can't wait to get outside The world is wide, the time goes by The tour is over, I've survived I can't wait till I get home To pass the time in my room alone ALL THE SMALL THINGS All the small things True care, truth brings I'll take one lift Your ride, best trip Always, I know You'll be at my show Watching, waiting Commiserating Say it ain't so, I will not go Turn the lights off, carry me home Na na na na na na na na na na Na na na na na na na na na na Na na na na na na na na na na Na na na na na na na na na na Late night, come home Work sucks, I know She left me roses by the stairs Surprises let me know she cares Say it ain't so, I will not go Turn the lights off, carry me home Na na na na na na na na na na Na na na na na na na na na na Na na na na na na na na na na Na na na na na na na na na na Say it ain't so, I will not go Turn the lights off, carry me home Keep your head still, I'll be your thrill The night will go on, my little windmill Say it ain't so, I will not go (na na na na na na na na na na) Turn the lights off, carry me home (na na na na na na na na na na) Keep your head still, I'll be your thrill (na na na na na na na na na na) The night will go on, the night will go on (na na na na na na na na na na) My little windmill THE PARTY SONG Do you wanna come to a party? My friends picked me up in their truck at 11:30 This thing's at a frat house, but people are cool there Reluctant, I followed, but I never dreamed There would be someone there who would catch my attention I wasn't out looking for love or affection So I paid my 3 and the girls got in free Shined the beer for tequila and we headed into the party And then, in the backyard, some terrible ska band Someone in the background was doing a keg stand This place is so lame, all these girls look the same All these guys have no game, I wish I would have stayed In my bed, back at home, watching TV alone Where I'd put on some p*rn or have sex on the phone Far from people I hate, down from anywhere state Trying to intoxicate girls to give them head after the party And then, I saw her standing there With green eyes and long blond hair She wasn't wearing underwear, at least I prayed that She might be the one Maybe we'd have some fun Maybe we'd watch the sun rise But that night, I learned some girls try too hard Na na na, na na na, na na na Some girls try too hard Na na na, na na na, na na na And some girls try too hard to impress with the way that they dress With those things on their chests and the things they suggest to me I couldn't believe what this lady was saying The names she was dropping and the games she was playing She dated this guy who now rides for Black Flys How she's down with the wise well-constructed disguise Now, I'd rather go dateless than stay here and hate this Her volume of makeup, her fake t*ts were tasteless So I said I'd call her, but never would bother Until I got turned down by another girl at a party So when you see her standing there With green eyes and long blond hair She won't be wearing underwear and you'll discover This girl's not the one and she'll never be fun You should just turn and run Because you'll find out that some girls try too hard Na na na, na na na, na na na Some girls try too hard Na na na, na na na, na na na And some girls try too hard to impress with the way that they dress With those things on their chest and the things they suggest to me Na na na, na na na, na na na Some girls try too hard Na na na, na na na, na na na Some girls try too hard MUTT He pauses shaving and he tells himself that he is the bomb She has her curlers set, her credit cards are paying the funds He's not that old, I've been told, a strong s*xual goal He goes out everyday, she goes every way, oh yeah They don't even care at all She's open, waiting for more And I know he's only looking to score And it is way too unhealthy, often they've typically Been starved for attention before She smokes a dozen and he doesn't seem to notice the smell He took the seat off his own bike, because the way that it felt He wants to bone this, I know she is ready to blow They go out every night, his pants are super tight, oh yeah They don't even care at all She's open, waiting for more (she's open, waiting for more) And I know he's only looking to score (he's only looking to score) And it is way too unhealthy, often they've typically Been starved for attention before She's open, waiting for more And I know he's only looking to score And it is way too unhealthy, often they've typically Been starved for attention before WENDY CLEAR Let's take the boat out on the bay Forget your job for just one day I wish it didn't have to be so bad It might be inappropriate because Either way our band gets dropped, oh yeah I wish it didn't have to be so bad But I'd play with fire to break the ice And I'd play with a nuclear device Is it something I'll regret, why do I want what I can't get? I wish it didn't have to be so bad The three-date theory is getting old Everyone's getting left out in the cold I wish it didn't have to be so bad So I'll see you with another guy Who pretends not to hear you when you cry, oh yeah I wish it didn't have to be so bad But I'd play with fire to break the ice And I'd play with a nuclear device Is it something I'll regret, why do I want what I can't get? I wish it didn't have to be so bad I'll be movin' on Movin' on Movin' on, on, on Movin' on Movin' on Movin' on, on, on But I'd play with fire to break the ice And I'd play with a nuclear device Is it something I'll regret, why do I want what I can't get? I wish it didn't have to be so bad I wish it didn't have to be so bad I wish it didn't have to be so bad I wish it didn't have to be so bad ANTHEM Home show, mom won't know Run out the back door, he's passed out on the floor Third time, been caught twice Forgive our neighbor Bob, I think he h*mped the dog But good things come to those who wait, coz she laid me And mom and dad possess the key, instant slavery No need to explain the plan, no need to even bother I'll pack my bags, I swear I'll run, wish my friends were 21 White lies, bloodshot eyes Breath of alcohol, stole it from the mall How's Chris marked with lipstick Better call their fathers, sleeping with your daughters But good things come to those who wait, coz she laid me And mom and dad possess the key, instant slavery No need to explain the plan, no need to even bother I'll pack my bags, I swear I'll run, wish my friends were 21 You don't belong, you left the kids to carry on You planned their fall Too bad you're wrong, don't need a mom, dad, slave drive, song I time bomb I time bomb I time bomb I time bomb I time bomb Turn low the radio I think I hear my dad yelling at the band But good things come to those who wait, coz she laid me And mom and dad possess the key, instant slavery No need to explain the plan, no need to even bother I'll pack my bags, I swear I'll run, wish my friends were 21 You don't belong, you left the kids to carry on You planned their fall Too bad you're wrong, don't need a mom, dad, slave, drive song I time bomb I time bomb I time bomb I time bomb I time bomb I time bomb I time bomb I time bomb I time bomb