May I have your attention please? May I have your attention please? Will the real slim shady please stand up? I repeat, will the real slim shady please stand up? We're gonna have a problem here Ya'll act like you never seen a white person before Jaws all on the floor Like Pam and Tommy just burst in the door And started whoopin her ass worse than before They first were divorced throwing her over furniture (aah) It's the return of the... "awww..wait, no wait, you're kidding He didn't just say what I think he did, did he?" And Dr. Dre said... Nothing you idiots, Dr Dre's dead, he's locked in my basement (haha) Feminist women love eminem Chicka chicka chicka slim shady "I'm sick of him, look it him Walkin around, grabbin his you know what Flippin' to you know who" "Yeah, but he's so cute though" Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose But no worse than what's goin on in your parents bedroom Sometimes, I wanna get on TV and just let loose But can't, but it's cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips And if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss And that's the message that we deliver to little kids And expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris is Of course they're gonna know what intercourse is By the time they hit 4th grade They got the discovery channel, dont they? We ain't nothing but mammals Well, some of us cannibals Who cut other people open like cantelopes But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes Then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope But if you feel like I feel, I got the antedote Women wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus and it goes I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating So wont the real Slim Shady please stand up? Please stand up, please stand up Coz I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating So wont the real Slim Shady please stand up Please stand up, please stand up Will Smith don't got to cuss in his raps to sell records Well I do, so f*ck him and f*ck you too You think I give a d*mn about a grammy Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me "But slim, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird" Why? so you guys can just lie to get me here So you can sit me here next to Britney Spears Bullsh*t, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs So I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst And hear em argue over who she gave head to first Little bitch, put me on blast on MTV "Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's married to Kim, heehee" I should download her audio on MP3 And show the world how you gave eminem VD (aah) I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups All you do is annoy me So I have N'SYNC here to destroy you And there's a million of us just like me Who cuss like me, who just don't give a f*ck like me Who dress like me, walk, talk and act like me And just might be the next best thing, but not quite me I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating So wont the real Slim Shady please stand up? Please stand up, please stand up Coz I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating So wont the real Slim Shady please stand up Please stand up, please stand up I'm like a head trip to listen to Coz I'm only giving you things You joke about with your friends inside you livin' room The only difference is I got the balls to say it In front of ya'll and I aint gotta be false or sugar coated at all I just get on the mic and spit it And whether you like to admit it (riiip) I just sh*tted it better than 90% you rappers out can Then you wonder how can Kids eat up these albums like valiums It's funny, coz at the rate I'm going when I'm thirty I'll be the only person in the nursing home flirting Pinchin nurses asses when I'm jackin off with jergen's And I'm jerkin' but this whole bag of viagra isn't working In every single person there's a slim shady lurkin He could be workin at burger king, spittin on your onion rings Or in the parking lot, circling, screamin I dont give a f*ck With his windows down and his system up So will the real shady please stand up? And put 1 of those fingers on each hand up And be proud to be outta your mind and outta control And 1 more time, loud as you can, how does it go? I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating So wont the real Slim Shady please stand up? Please stand up, please stand up Coz I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating So wont the real Slim Shady please stand up Please stand up, please stand up I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating So wont the real Slim Shady please stand up? Please stand up, please stand up Coz I'm Slim Shady, yes, I'm the real Shady All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating So wont the real Slim Shady please stand up Please stand up, please stand up Haha guess it's a slim shady in all of us... F*ck it, let's all stand up