People say time cures; it helps but the thoughts, feelings and the problems don't go away. I still find it hard to cope with. Twenty-seven years young my life hasn't even begun. Limitations on what I can do; working long hours are out of the questions, the only answer is that I have to deal with this.

Four years have passed, since I was diagnosed. I was 23 years when I first had symptoms. I couldn’t see anything from my left eye, at work I bumped into people and while walking in the warehouse to get to the office I bumped into cages, it was so embarrassing. I had my eyes tested but was assured by the optician that all the tests were fine, and they wrote to my G.P. She referred me to the neurological department at the QE2 hospital in Welwyn Garden City.

I was due to go on holiday and I asked the neurologist whether it would be wise to cancel, he said go and enjoy yourself and not to worry about anything. So off I went to the beautiful Greek island of Kos. Two days into the holiday and the right side of my body ‘went’ completely, when I walked my right leg would drag and my right arm would just hang, I'm just glad that I was with such good friends, they helped me dress, do my trainers up, in fact they looked after me the whole time. Even though this had happened, and I didn't understand what was going on in my body, I had a great holiday.

On the day I returned, I phoned my sister, she took me to the QE2 where I was admitted. Numerous tests, blood tests and a M.R I scan. I had doctors asking the same questions over and over again. After three episodes, 1) The vision in my left eye, 2) The numbness in my right side, 3) Chronic pain, they told me what was wrong I had a disease, MS, Multiple Sclerosis

From that day I did feel angry and low, why me? Some days are good but I feared the bad days, those days are painful, friends and family said I need to be strong and positive, but then It’s hard when you are in pain. You need to be very positive and strong to be able to cope with MS in your life, as well as every day situations.

I have been very fortunate that I was prescribed Beta-Interferon 1a. I have been taking it for eighteen months and have had only two mild relapses compared to, two years of relapsing every two to three months. Beta Inteferon has improved my life, I still have to watch what I do and have good and bad days but now I am starting to live a life, slowly but gradually and it doesn’t feel now that the world is passing me by.

My biggest turning point was when Hazel told me about the Leonard Cheshire Workability Scheme. Workability is designed to help 10,000 young disabled people gain access to training and employment. Participants receive free computer equipment, Microsoft software and internet access. Training in basic IT applications is delivered via a virtual college on the internet

Hazel got all the information and set up an informal meeting with an assessor from Leonard Cheshire. After discussing the course and my expectations and I was advised to fill out an application form. I am waiting to find out if I have been accepted and if I am successful will have to wait about three months to receive the equipment. I really hope I am successful as it isn’t possible for me to go to college as my energy levels are so erratic, there would be days that I would find it impossible to attend.. Working from home with Leonard Cheshire Workability I can study at my own pace at any time of the day or night.

Whatever the outcome, just going through the process has given me back my self esteem. My life and my mind are a lot healthier now, I find if I stay positive, eat healthy and try not to let

anything get to me, I’ll be OK. The key, it seems, is to stay positive.

Copyright Mary Burke March 2001

If you would like more information on Leonard Cheshire Workability give Hazel a call or visit the Leonard Cheshire website at www.lcf.org.uk