this is work in progress or homilies or miscellaneous items that don't warrant a page by themselves or seem to fit better here



chronological order is from the bottom to the top of the page



layout is done with the internet explorer text size setting at  largest  and with a zoom of 125%, though i don't have an opinion on any correct size per se



links are in the  times new roman  font  

















i think the problem that lesbians have


is that sex is so accessible


they spend their lives in a frenzy of lust


and there's a stupidity that follows from that
















a bit from here


a bit from there


and a bit from somewhere else
















the universities don't write


they put inane thoughts in code


that they then claim is not inane
















when you praise a crap artist


you are trivialising the great's like van gogh or monet


same with writing


read harry potter and osip mandelstham is hurt


but life has always been that way
















fem lesbians are double folded female
















death is a constant process


in living


unless you are schizophrenic or psychotic and that's the problem


they don't die to the delusions


tho they die if they look
















men drive the cars


and women drive the men
















i don't think translations are stand alone poems


they have to be read in the context of other translations


and the original
















i think if you can really see something


you would escape it


you can see that you can't really see something
















the male is happy if the female is happy


the female is happy if the male is, shall we say, "somewhat under the gun"?
















women are arrogant about men being so blind about their motivations etc.


well superiority


but arrogance i have seen in a lot of women about this


how men are moved around like pawns in chess by women
















you really have to let ideas change at their own speed
















you love my mind and i suppose that's part of love, a greed for what the other is
















anais nin expresses the female point of view very well
















we spend so much of our life


doing what doesn't really interest us
















a poem is a personal form of memory
















we all get murdered by love in our different ways


some get murdered more than others


or is it


they simply don't see it?
















employment is slavery
















genius in terms of genius is overrated


or perhaps it isn't, i was thinking of keats and the ode on a grecian urn




but in terms of the hoi polloi it's not


there's a very low level out there
















eventually the picture erodes and the stars shine through
















it's weird how the days roll into each other, like some endless road trip, never ending
















the deep sleep of forever
















“ this statement is false ”


there is so much indefintion in that


that you can't really say anything
















people are so schizophrenic that it severely degrades their ability to raise children successfully


therefore since schizophrenia seems to be an evolutionarily driven imperative


it must be enforced by the priority of motivation to raise children


that is, its no good having a better ability to raise children successfully if that superior clarity of thinking encourages retirement from the need to raise children
















there's something wrong with the american university system with its enshrinement of stupidity and attention deficit


art, literature, medicine, nutrition


they are as thick as bloody bricks
















  vegas  by charles bukowski


quite a subtle poem as he modes into the artificial crap poetry style that is so typical of academic writers


yeah don't tell people what disturbs them
















my day is made if i can get two hours sleep during the day
















there's no world where there is a poet one side of the fence and on the other side are the readers


poetry is a natural mode of thinking
















theres no point to reading poetry except the processing
















i write for myself and memory
















nice comfy feelings don't make for clear thinking
















religion, religious work and schizophrenia are all different sides of the same thing
















truth is a cross between religion and poetry
















the problem is you are emotionally immature until you start to die
















one of the depressing things about this work is the sheer human emptiness of it


but its also a joy
















trial and error


error and trial
















theory needs to inform experience


and experience needs to inform theory
















as i get older


almost everything is a poisoned chalice
















i don't think its helpful to consider wether this or that person does or doesn't conform to this or that abstraction


there's something intrinsic in abstraction that does and doesn't apply
















there is nothing more pointless than the criticism of poetry


a good poem is integral


you cannot break it apart or suggest improvements meaningfully


if its a bad poem why bother?
















the sort of intelligence required to breed is quite different from that to understand life


the intelligence to understand life is quite exceptional, extrordinary and rare
















osip mandelstam stayed with beauty and died with her
















there is nothing more depressing than reading the lives of the poets
















you can't go back to the past


insert yourself as you are now


and things would have been different
















someone does you a favour


emotionally it doesn't feel like it


but practically it is


you are a fool not to take advantage of it
















there is no explanation for a  leaf insect  except evolution
















the female brain is more powerful than the male brain


that is why men do so much better at gender blurring


they are tapping into that more powerful brain


whereas women tap into the less powerful male brain


i am sure you have seen it with lesbians, just more sexual silliness
















you may be not at rest in this world


but at rest in infinity
















the big difference between the net and books is the cost of blank space is zero
















there's any number of stories that can be conceived but never written


and who knows, never conceived
















however great anything is, it will be brought down
















you should have known me long enough to know i am always going off track and steering back on, sometimes its a process of months or years


its my brain
















if saying something doesn't do any good, then like me you would be better to bite your tongue and wait for a good opportunity when things are black and white
















nothing exists in its pure unadultered form in this world


its always better to have a degree of spoiling


because it will happen anyway
















in writing you have to make what is not said


work just as much for you


as what is said
















reality is a single fabric from which even physics is cut
















there is something in a double rainbow that implies the curvature of space
















one of the things about the web


is writing is such a meaningless occupation now
















i remember reading einstein's description of how he dealt with light and the observer


it was very elegant, like looking at a triple backwards somersault and ending up landing in the same place on his feet facing the right way


he escaped the recursion in a clear and meaningful way, yet was still the recursion
















there is infinity


there is no infinity


this stuff is quantum physics


you can't reason directly about something that the fact of observing


changes the nature of what is observed
















i am not a compedent speller
















love is a gulag
















there's something intrinsically zero sum about life
















autism is basically an ultra logical, ultra creative mindset that comes from a fusion of the brain in the womb touching on infinity to give it the needed power to get through a disasterous life of very deep potholes
















being fellow travellers is a stronger bond than love
















once a month a follicle spits an egg into the ovary. all human behavior is determined by this
















just being away from people is one the most marvellous fullfilments a man like me can have


just the absence of humanity is a fullfilment so graceful that even god would understand if he invented them which he probably didn't




                      charles bukowski
















death is not a discrete process with the demise of the the departed


life is full of leavings
















nothing is ever right, it's all a process
















theres no such thing a getting something right, its a continual process of improvement and you have not entered into this process so are getting caught out
















i don' t think people understand how significant thyroid problems are


they think its just another thing, but thyroid problems kill all of you


a drop of iodine on the wrist once week can be a huge help to you
















women with breast cancer are as good as killed by the crappy advice about skin vitamin D/sun and iodine


breast cancer cannot be cured, only put into remission
















are you going to be a moth and chase the flame of the opposite sex?

















every time i write something i wave it goodbye


i am not optimistic


it will just disappear into the vast sink of infinity like everything else
















women are very different and think very differently


they can be very self oriented and the only thing that tempers that somewhat is love


even on that leash they can be murderous and if they are not on it, just forget it


nothing fits on spectrum, love, life or anything, its best to focus on getting the basics of survival well founded


and thats just the way it is
















its not possible to read the bible and be a christian


its a deeply ambiguous document


the more you know about the bible


the less possible it is to be a christian
















appearing happy


just lift the corners of your mouth


stop you looking grim
















i think theres something about success that breeds failure


some willingness to jump into the unknown again


with the usual disasterous consequences


or not necessarily disasterous
















theres nothing like an illness or disease to stuff your schedule up


if you are ill or have a disease


give it priority
















incompetence is better than wrong minded competence
















the problem with god


is not that i have a problem with god


but that god would worry who made him




since he made everything


then he would worry


who made him?
















genius has only one fate


to be ignored in its own generation


and plagiarized in every generation that follows
















when your enemy makes a mistake


don't point it out to them


its good they take the consequences
















i keep having to explain what i write


its a discursion on reality


if you want to be upset


you will


but just step back


and see how things fall
















my poems hurt because i am hurt


all my poems hurt cause no matter what i do, i hurt
















you are hurt


so am i
















its really fundamental that what i write is sorta an average over a lifetime and not necessarily happening now
















how can i tell you are on autistic spectrum or have aspergers syndrome?


you have that ultra rational streak that only comes from extreme physiological and neural hardship
















normality is peculiar


extremely peculiar
















what does the donkey know of its master?
















as a general rule, anything written about women by men is likely to be lacking


this is particularly noticeable in fiction
















one form of misery just gets replaced with another
















its better to be out of than in love
















communism is so economically dysfunctional that it takes an extreme amount of repression to keep the rulers in control


hence the reality of communism is thuggish
















i think the problem with tv is we take an elaborate construct


as natural and intuitive reality but it's very far from that
















you cannot take my writing as my bedrock emotional state, it is writing
















poems are never exactly our lives


what makes a good poem is its ability to be universal despite its specific context


a unity of the personal with the abstract
















i have never seen any miracles


i have only seen work in the right direction create its own luck or tap into quantum space


people usually half work in the wrong direction


sometimes it can take a very long time to get things right


results are hard to get and demanding and with life's other pressures no wonder people just sit in some vacant non-functional space


pretending and not performing


basically you need to abstain from some superflous activities to get the extra time


thank god i have given up being a sucker sinking my time into you lot of ratbags
















existance has a substrate
















the seeds of spoilage


sprout


in the search for perfection
















its all a process


it just goes on


it never fixes
















the problem with atheism


is if you say theres no god


its the same as saying there's


one god
















the weirdest thing is there is no audience for competent supplement and dietary advice


for completely insane twaddle


there is an audience













sometimes those who thwart you are doing you a big favour


not necessarily


but they really do
















if you take someone's advice, how can another part of it be so bad you go the opposite of it?


you need to think about that
















its funny that how god which is the conventional human depiction of infinity is male and typically wrong


infinity is a very gender blurred female
















if infinity favours my efforts, she will look after them


it's not my concern
















yeah human is to fail and die rather than try

















you can't put sense where its not there
















the problem with employing the unemployed


is that short of violence


you can't force the unwilling to work satisfactorily


if you don't stop short of violence it can be done


slave cultures used to do this


people have no idea how intrinsic slave culture is to the human pysche
















there is a lot less continuity


within ourselves than people imagine
















question to a zen master : you have passed all the koans and been given transmission


why does a passing child know more than you?
















i am walking LSD


just reading my writing breaks down your boundaries


in a constructive way


if you can hack it!
















people get very nasty when they are told what is true, but what they don't want to know
















the guiding stars that a child develops by age 7 will govern the course he steers and is steered by


for the rest of his life
















the conventional view is that life is everything


and death is nothing


but in fact


death is the quantum backdrop


that life is dependent on for its sustenance
















i think what i specialize in


is an abstract perception which the world is not ready for and never will be


there is no point to it and i wonder why i do it


i am able to and it is more interesting than anything else
















if there's one thing i notice women hate, it's that they are damaged being pointed out to them


they can cope with most stuff


but this really gets their goat


interfers with some deep brain paradigm of fitness for breeding?
















on the tenth or one hundredth time around


sometimes i get it
















autism is a gift, it is a neurological adpatation that occurs within the womb


what has happened, especially with the dominance by the americans and their horrendous vaccine scheduling from birth in recent decades is “like autism"


that is damage that looks like autism without the gift


just crappy murderous social seeking


you have lived long enough to see how dumbed down everything is now
















those that don't want to know


won't know


the vast majority are caught within the ideas of their generation


and want it that way


or at least will never look or have any notion of seeking further


unconcious living

















one of the problems with poems is you get seduced by words and expressions


poignant


really seduced
















who cares


about an autism diagnosis?


why this need for insane referents?


infinity cleans my shoes!
















a prophet is without honour in his own country and this is for the protection of the prophet because with honour comes those who would destroy you and usually they succeed
















if you remove the  "invisible hand"  of adam smith then by necessity you will have the visible hand of terror and the state security apparatus


simply because the economic performance is is so misallocated and poorly performing that huge inertial forces will fly the whole thing apart without terror


history is the history of humans and tools and modern technology is moving the economic and social enviroment in a weak way but still there moving more towards socialism, misallocation and terror


weirdly there is now a terror of medical cultism, especially the compulsion and terror of the vaccine holocast now current (1990 -) in the usa
















the whole idea of quantum, the imposition of the particular against the backdrop of infinite potential
















human love is occlusive of infinite love
















basically there's a fairly simple theoretical background in which self injury, injury and ultimate reality/infinity make sense and auden's  "as i walked out one evening"  poem is a good explanation of that
















it takes a woman to keep a man in one place
















aging is not a quiet decline, but the steadily increasing roar of a hurricane that consumes us eventually
















the problem is men are dull compared to women


they are just not interesting to write homilies about


my homilies are a strong compliment to women because they are interesting enough to study and observe



(ed. the above is in in response to a complaint about my "bias" about not writing about men much)
















women always have a residual sharpness and realism ready to take advantage of a situation regardless of their views of it
















i think the moment you become famous


your creative life comes to an end


fortunately


that is not going to happen
















people only want dead twits they can plagarize


and sell themselves


as priests of
















the bleak cold world of


ultimate reality
















if you want to upset people


talk to a bunch of women


about non-attachment
















women are too specialised to the manipulation of male behavior and the raising of children to be much good at anything else


conversely men need manipulation to keep them at all functional
















my poems are abstract and a synthesis of a life's experience and that of my observation of others


they are not necessarily personal


tho they can be
















the pole star


of the individual brain
















life is a long homily
















kitchen organisation is all about stacking, shelves and storage of non-useful items!


one of the benefits of letting things go for a while is seeing what you use and don't use
















lovers joining the dots the wrong way is one of life's disaster areas
















men and women are designed to be tempered by each other
















life is fatigue
















truth is complex and intricated
















love is a constantly varying landscape


there is a constant huge rate of change


that is difficult to see


if you don't think that this is the case


then you can't see it


or are out of love
















what is out there


a million miles of morons


yeah!
















sir henry neville wrote the plays purported to be by william shakespeare


it really distorts one sense of reality to think that shakepseare wrote those when he was so very ordinary


the myth the plays were by shakespeare was perpetuated by friends of neville after his death to protect nevilles children
















poetry is to tell yourself about how the world is
















“the truth hurts”


truth is a larger context than personal gratification


that's what causes the issues


and then there's the question of what is true


oftentimes its not easy to tell or even form a meaningful question and has to be delineated over a while or quite a while


shifting sands i am afraid
















women are to misinformation


like sand is to being grainy
















when i left  "was pushed out"  of my last job they lost one of their best workers, but it was good thing for me to have left


you are only making money for the owners and at the end of the day you only take the experience you have gained from your work with you, that's all you take for giving the best years of your life


that was very important for me to learn that

















one advantage the mad have is they look outside the normal boundaries


this does help with problem solving


being mad tho they don't cross reference what actually happens with what they would like to be happening


being mad is a state of maladaption of problem solving activities, not simply a state of mind
















so many right roads and only one wrong road


why do we always take the wrong road?


actually the above is a wrong road because there are so many wrong roads and so few right ones
















being alive has a very rough edge
















women are great believers in having their cake and eating it
















zen is toxic viral swill
















the problem with love is it is completely compelling
















there's nothing quite as insane as a completely futile voluntary activity

















theory is an increasingly fine grained approximation to observation


the only way to escape this is tautology


then you are the grain
















quantum physics enforces that level of detail/fine graining for which observation is a material physical mechanism interfering with the physics of what is observed


in other words observation and being observed are recursive


no wonder einstein didn't like it, tho his original thought experiments with light are a brilliant escape from the recursion of observation and effect


quantum physics is a tribute to the porosity of absolute reality
















everything is successive approximation
















charles bukowski has made a big impact on me and i was wondering why


i think its because he had a strong natural line in the infinite and he was confident in it


i have strong natural line but being somewhat socially oriented and wishy washy was never confident


i am now confident
















however far you have come there is always a million times further to go


thats what infinity is


life is infinite
















i write for myself and those across generations, i don't expect sympathy or anything except negativity within this generation


why is that?


i think its because people have purpose and any discursion on absolute reality strongly undercuts and opposes any purpose or point to life
















there is not a consistent semantics to explain absolute reality or even an absolute reality
















let time work for you
















"reality is not what people think it is"
















what could be more than love?


there's something more than love
















i live a different paradigm, i live for eternity and not tomorrow
















a win is fragile, it can be taken away
















one of the big differences with publishing on the web is blank space is free, whereas on paper it costs the paper, even if it doesn't have any printing on it
















people are like bowerbirds or magpies, they are not interested in the thing itself or competency or understanding of the subject per say but the accretion of appearances to deck about themselves


human behavior is all about successful breeding so it must work to a considerable extent


or it's maybe just malfunctional damage
















one can be distanced without being less in love


distance is tidal


it moves on the poles of contiguity
















if something is spoiled a bit from the start, that is realistic rather than having it unalloyed which will be destructive
















"never get old if you can avoid it"
















one of the problems with wealth i think is that you lose touch with doing things for yourself and rely on purchased services for everything and in fact, by and large, purchased services miss the fine intrication necessary for adequate health and nutrition
















orwell's 1984, while very good makes the presumption of perfect competence by the state which is faulty, in fact the state is very incompetent, or a sad mix of competencies and incompetencies which is the usual crucifixion of the human condition


as a matter of interest, 1984 is named for a poem by orwells wife, eileen o'shaughnessy, “end of the century 1984”, written in 1934
















intelligence can be clarified with a bit of work and inclination
















i think the way the "beyond reasonable doubt" verdict works is something like this


if the verdict was just what the jury thought was guilty and not beyond reasonable doubt you would have a 10% false incarceration rate


beyond reasonable doubt reduces it to 1%
















what is philosophy?


the love of sophie


who is sophie?


the philosophers wife


philosophy is inherently a fragmented paradigm
















i must be viral, all my bon mots are not quite bonning
















why would you choose something that is true, over something that is false?


because what is true is a better explanation and more predictive


people nowadays just choose what is most convenient
















what is truth is entirely recursive, what is true is not
















the failure of modern life is the replacement of any sane notion of what truth is with the notion that truth is simply any consensus view
















something is true when the evidence comes consistently from a number of different viewpoints that are themselves true
















poetry is a force for intelligence in a world where the force is for stupidity
















i think writing poetry is a social event across the centuries with the few people ever likely to understand you or be interested
















brutality is part of elegance simply because the delight of elegance is a quick kill
















the thing about religion is the very mediocre minds it contains


even the so called “greats”


st. augustine especially
















genius is a kind of intellectual poverty


it is not dependent on internal resources


but synchronicity with the external world
















people want cost free understanding


if you look at the lives of the poets, john keats, charles bukowski, syliva plath, anne sexton, do you want lives like that?


if you can't accept that is what it takes then you have no clues.


on the other hand a cruelly painful life is no guarantee of understanding
















there is no system but work, persistence and winnowing
















its very difficult for people to understand the viewpoint of poetry until you write it yourself
















poems don't want to be just personal experience but need some leavening with abstraction about life


what is the point of writing poetry if you don't get some larger overall look at things?

















poetry is about questions like "what is the nature of reality", "what is death", "what is life?"


it's not the usual thing and most people are not interested in the same way sheep are not interested in the slaughter house or what is beyond the paddock


these questions can be pretty brutal and my advice is if you are not interested, not to look
















people want trash


they do this because the demands of life


only permit shallow attention to everything


they follow what feels good and tastes good to them


its only when you question the reality of what feels good and tastes good


that you start to move away from trash
















if it all makes so much sense


why do people die?
















its better to take a bit of damage in advance than more damage later


one of the problems of getting older is you can't track the cost benefit of this


or take any damage at all
















the perspective of ownership


is a perspective
















the purpose of the female is to sucker the male
















the female view is that men are emotionally immature. the undisguised female view is that men are immature


the male view is that women are crazy, the undisguised male view is that women are insane
















people make too much of understanding, not understanding is just as important
















i have long pondered hatred with a logical mind and come to the conclusion hatred has no logic, nor does it have consistency.


hatred is opportunistic and hence it bends to maximise its justifications.


hence it is completely futile (and exhausting) to address of answer to hatred using logic.


so if one is utterly logical, one best leave hatred to self destruct.


the phrase ‘get a life’ is actually very helpful. for when one leaves haters to it, their world is actually nothing more than a pimple on the arse of humanity




      donna williams       cyber bully


















women watch men the way men watch bank accounts and investments
















real life is far more interesting and absurd than any fiction
















being wrong is like catching a ball, its a skill


what has being wrong got to offer you?
















if you are never wrong , you will never be right
















when you have fallen in love, you are faced with the extraordinary sight of your own brain trotting you up to the guillotine
















all information presented is coloured by our own agendas


theres always a mix of selling, misinformation and useful information


mostly i step back now and let people fall into their own confusion
















to them that don't have, what little they have they throw away
















van gogh was poisoned by a combination of the heavy metals in his ultra bright paint pigments and the toxins from the syphilis spirochete


he sold one painting in his lifetime and poisoned himself for generations of arseholes to follow to make money out of him


such is the way of beauty and truth
















theres just no remedy for somethings, no matter what you do there's no remedy
















educational arts qualifications are not worth a cent, they are certificates of inability and retardation
















the non-necessity of an audience or the illusionary necessity of an audience
















truth is a subset of sense, nonsense knows no subset


the hunting of the snark is truth and nonsense
















audens "land of the dead" is a perspective on quantum space
















is it simplifying or is it complexising
















i notice people only like what they agree with, they have no notion of getting to grips with what they disagree with
















i'd rather talk to the interesting dead than the live boring
















the misshapen, half born


some call them poets
















atheism is another human worshipping religion
















one of the problems is that evolutionarily and genetically men are not real compared to women


like they are second rate and not worth talking about much compared to women
















men are like ghosts compared to womens reality
















self centeredness in women is for their own use


self centeredness in men is the vehicle by which women control mens behavior


men who are manipulative in the female way are very gender blurred

















one of the hardest things about writing is accepting that one has talent or even genius in the face of the chorus of naysaying by the cretins who don't like being shown up
















poetry is not about poets but poems
















everything is endless infinite regress


you don't have to look at escher


u live it
















sometimes i listen to my own advice, like i really need to use this diarying process (text files ed.) much more intensively to make more progress


it also makes using the computer a lot less passive, not just endless reading


the passivity of just reading is more a core issue with computers and the internet, not just computer use per se
















poetry often can't make sense but prose just about always does
















i think the difference between poetry and prose is the unity of sound in a poem
















women can be extraordinarily self centered and men are the suckers that support this
















its results that matter, not intentions


someone may intend to do you good but have a harmful effect


another may intend to injure you but in fact help you
















somethings are irreversible, usually the effects are complex, work with it and don't angst over it
















you need to learn to let time do the work for you


just wait and see which i do quite a bit with you
















god is the misinformation of the crowd
















theres nothing intuitive about driving, it takes an accident or near accident to get your attention
















the relationship between the land of dead or quantum reality and this world is a mixture of savancy, gift, focus, priorities, serendipitous spreading of attention and especially work


there is always a constant building needed to create the steps that with a bit of luck can reach the heights


auden's giant, jack, lily-white boy and jill are constantly being built
















you can go back and forth with meaning


meaning what


going back and forth with meaning
















christianity now is a shadow of its glory from the the time of roman empire to luther.


its been dead for centuries and what we see now is just the remnants and it can't be less than this


what killed christianity was the obvious absurdity of the crusades which was involved heavy losses and minimal loot


its odd how these things have a life of their own and can echo down the ages


islam is now running into issues of compatibility with modern life but its not as sophisticated as christianity and never ran into an issue like the crusades where the fundamental purpose of a religion which is to loot got disguised by acutal beliefs
















what happens when we die?


the world does not continue
















poems can't be criticized or analysed


they can only be replied to


this is to sort out the educated twits who think english is capitals, correct spelling and shallow concepts
















to write a poem you have to go to the edge and beyond


you return a different person
















men don't have sex


they have something that is in the same relation to women as a match to a bonfire
















the male brain is just as romantic as the female if not more


perhaps more because it is so beset by illusion

















males have natural blinders in the brain that prevent them understanding a woman.


if you want to understand a woman just look at what they do and believe it


the blinders can't get around that

















you can win by so much you look like you are losing
















you may be retired but the body decay process has gone into overtime
















each stage of life is just as painful and difficult as the last
















the net has profoundly shifted the balance of power from companies, corporates and organisations to individuals
















humans are chimpanzees with kitsch