this is work in progress or homilies or miscellaneous items that don't warrant a page by themselves or seem to fit better here



chronological order is from the bottom to the top of the page



layout is done with the internet explorer text size setting at  largest  and with a zoom of 125%, though i don't have an opinion on any correct size per se



links are in the  times new roman  font  

















women


are


walking


uteruses


that


want


to


be


filled


in


ways


they


value


themselves


and


other !
















i


think


when


your


parents


die


you

believe


you


can


die !
















women


uteruses


on


legs !



they


don't


have


any


cognition


outside


of


successful


reproduction !
















women


don't


understand


themselves


they


understand


how


to


get


things


but


they


still


don't


understand


themselves !
















things happen in bunches
















disordered and sentimental ! 


where do these reviewers get their  bloat  from ?
















religion


has


always


been


attractive


to


murderous


schizophrenics !
















all

history


is


depressingly


schizophrenic
















apple trees in nowhere !
















single


people


are


a


danger


to


themselves
















going


down


the


steps


passes


more


quickly


than


going


up !
















there's


no


pleasing


the


unpleasable


: 0 )
















a


promise


is


made


is


made


as

pallative


to


actually


doing


it


they


are


always


false !
















what's


non


negotiable


and


non


repentant


is


“ entitlement ” !
















men


and


women


have


their


little


boxes


of


what's


non


negotiable !
















why do we do anything?


move


forward ?


there


always


seems

some


improvement


unknowing


there


is


an


end


to


unknowing


and


it's


gutting


and


depressing !
















  of course one can be empty in a not good way like this vacuous  prattle !
















the


politics


of


work


is


probably


pretty


mild


compared


to


the


violence


spouses


do


to


each


other !
















look


you


arrogant


shit


you


don't


know

bloody


barf !
















it's called


“ entitlement ” they are so wonderful they are entitled to all they want the way they want it


very common on the web with people regarding volunteer services and products
















it's


sorta


like


“ what


problem ”


meaning


there's


no


problem


or


there's


quite


a


few


to


choose from


!
















why should jesus exist ? buddha and muhammad didn't


if


you say that jesus existed


 i'd be interested in wether you think that buddha and muhammad existed?
















from


an


evolutionary


point


of


view


living


to


old


age


is


entirely


an artifact of


the


robustness


needed


against


injury


or


developmental


issues


or


nutritional


shortfalls


in


younger


years !
















zen


advaita


paradigm's


of


sexual

differentiation


that's


all


they


seem


to


be


about !
















   personally i have given up on coherent explanations, chasing the wind so to speak !



there


are


inconsistent


explanations


of


varying


quality !
















there's


nothing


like


mortality


to


take


your


attention


away


from


the


trivial
















life


is


upside


down


it


really


is
!


why


do


the


inversions


surprise


me !


they


shouldn't !
















marriage


living

together


children


a


happy


life


a


dream


that's

all


it


ever


was


an


optical


illusion !
















you should have seen the woman behind me in coles on wednesday


just heaps of bread and soft drink and some baby disposable nappies


that's all she had


very obese and didn't look well


35?


prematurely aged of course


i thought well maybe she is on benefit and can't afford meat but she bought cartons of soft drink


literally the whole cart was stacked with soft drink and sliced white bread and one pack of baby nappies


might have been low thyroid and her brain gone
















unfortunately


the


way

genetics


works


i


think


you


have


to


look


at


your


grandparents


rather


than


parents


for


familial


problems


to


see


what


you


have


got


or


might


have !
















a


feral


kitten


sitting


on


the

doorsill


hopeful


of

a


different


life


inside


: o )
















i


had


something


working


then


i


broke


it


and


it


wasn't


working


and


i


have


to


get


it


working


again !
















if


you


don't

get


involved


you


won't


need


to


unwind


it


but


you


won't


grow !




i




guess



there



is


a



growth



that

isn't


involved
















aborigines


adapt


to


european


culture


as


a

toxic

dreamtime


they


are


camped


at


a

poisonous


oasis !
















looking


at


these


old


pics


i


caught


myself


making


a

nostalgia


for


russia !


a simpler


time


and


place


:


o


(



since


i


never


lived


there !
















the


price


of


this


sort


of

insight


is


to


be


dead


by


55


but

of


course


dying


by


55


doesn't


guarantee


it


:


o


)
















i


don't


think


middle


age


is


so


exciting


because


it


becomes


reasonably


clear


what


is


going


to


kill


or


maim


you !



all



the



while



your



teeth



are



going


:


o


(
















there's


some


merciless


law


that


says


if


you


don't


pay


attention


to


what


is


the


problem


now


you


will


suffer !
















humans


are


just


this


blind


ape


you


know ?
















look


at


the


huge


construct


religion


is


to


propagate


drivel


over


the


centuries
















i


am


now


convinced


there


are


some


great


works


we


have


never


seen


because


posterity


is


blind !
















there's


not


some


consistent


explanation


for


this


reality


being


secondary


if


it


was


consistent


then


it


wouldn't


be


secondary


would


it ?































alice ott playing  tchaikovsky
















jealous


like


a

monster


:


o


(
















if i can just add that i find it best to close your eyes while you listen to this to hear it as he played it and the dazzling complexity of what is partly his own work which it becomes opens up !


he has some deliberate dissonance which clashes compared to a more lighthearted performance and is superficially less attractive but his is the deeper, better playing by far !


it's quite interesting to compare him to  ott  who has better dynamic range, she's not fluff, there is a melancholy there, but tsjuii puts life's darkness into his playing , that really as i say only becomes accessible if you close your eyes when you listen to him!
















in


this


world


we


imagine


we


are


the


effect


of

a


cause


like


if


we


are


achild


we


are


the


effect


of


our


parents


but


though


this


is


true


it


is


not


the


primary


truth


which


is


that


the


parents


are


the


effect


of


the


child !
















a


lot


of


things


are


empty


for


me


because


they


never


eventuate !


it's


not


like


i


wouldn't


fall


a


sucker


for


them


if


they


did !


: o )
















conductors


are


hypocrites


because


they


are


always


asking


the


orchestra


to


play


better


than


themselves !
















if


men


grew


up


they


would


stop


taking


orders


from


women
















a


child


has


two


adults


working


very


hard


to


support


him


or


her


in


the


style


to


which


he/she


is


accustomed


why


did


i


never


think


of


this


until


54 ?
















i'm


really


depressed


i


want


to


be


doing


something


else


not


just


surviving !
















life


has


no


gain



it


only


has


gain


or


a


point


from


the


view


of


the


model


from


the


point


of


view


of


the


universe


that


contains


it


or


is


it


there


nothing


of


any


significance !
















life


is


completely


void


empty


null


nada


“ how


do


you



deal


with


that ? ”


“ you


don't


have


to


i


don't


know ”
















the


model


is


secondary


to

the


universe


that


formed


it !
















unless


you

do


something


pointless


you


are


never


going


to


see


anything !
















endless


circles


 life !
















to


appreciate


lizt


you


have


to


hear


him


played


properly


( you


need


to


close


your


eyes


to


listen


to


this )
















orchestras


as


a


form


were


never


economic !
















a


good


orchestra


plays


itself !
















life


is


full


of


the


mad


do


we


have


to


deal


with


them


all


the


time ?
















what's


the


difference


between


zen


and

a


swingers


club ?


swingers


are


more


sincere


:


o


)
















indie


authors


caught


in


a


time


warp


of


changed


technology


like


bands


and


filmmakers !
















with


the


web


everyman


and


his


dog


is


an


author


it's


a


meaningless


designation !
















i


think


there's


more


writers


than


readers


now


it's


abit


of

a

problem


; o )
















vanity


publishing


is


a


different


circuit


low


level


intellects


reaching


for


an


appearance


they


cannot


grasp !
















you


can


see


quite


a


bit


through

a


keyhole !

: o )
















music


i


think


the


band


form


is


failing


as



a financial


vehicle


it's


only


being


done


as


a

nostalgia


now !


why


are


they


failing ?


lack


of


talent


and


too


many


men !



bands


are


actually


a


technological


relic !
















school


and


university


don't


teach


you


how


to


write,


they


teach


you


how


not


to


write !
















female


cats


don't


have


to

worry


about


males


or


even


kittens


but


getting


food


cats


they


are

much


more


focused


on


food


than


humans !
















i


think


escapism


is


just


a

form


of


manipulation


by


the


author


of


the


reader
!


don't


be


a


sucker !
















religion is a form of


escapism ?
















the


story


of


the


stone


escapist


literature ?


it


is


and


it


isn't !
















warlocks


werewolves


puerile


concepts


as


for


vampires


every


sucking


female


on


the


planet !
















if


escapism


is


a


trap


then


writing


escapism


is


also


going


to


be


a


trap


or


is


it ?



only if


you


believe


it !


but they all do i think !
















you  have an ability to engage people which i think is the hall mark of a successful commercial writer, stephen king has that in spades !


however talented you and king are as writers, when all is said and done it is populist trash, but as people will only read and pay for that how could it be different ?


of course you could be an academic writer and write academic trash which is all the universities produce these days!


i suppose you will delete this  : o (


later :


she did in the now commonplace sneaky way of still making the posts appear on my comp but not others - BITCH - shows you how contrived and toxic the paranormal romance scene is !


this new system that enables owners/moderators to make posts and comments to not be shown to any readers except the original poster gives a stronger sense of being injured !


a snub so to speak


once you realise what's happening you do not want to post again !


it's the same feeling as a verbal dismissal in real life


but with the extra of being deliberately fooled, you immediately get very wary !
















that's a really great review, you have a talent for it !


the question i would have is wether pure escapism like that causes life problems, but you will get to figure that out !


[he deleted this reply !]


   she is shallow
















hitler


never


understood


the


fundamental


rule


of


warfare


which


is


two


to


one


has

a


four


to


one


advantage !


or


he


would


never


have


got


so


overextended


rommel


did


which


is


why


he


was

successful


but


he


had


limited


strategic


vision


which


seems


to


be


a


particularly


germanic


failing !
















the

angry


gay


pope


it's


not


that


he


wins


but


that


scientology


has


already


lost !
















children


they


consume


your


life


what


does


it


matter


wether


they


turn


out


badly


or


well


does


that


alter


the


weight


of


the


boots


that


walk


over


you ?


probably


yes


: o )


or


no ?
















17 ?


years


ago


in


the


supermarket


at


the


corner


mall


in


newmarket


maybe about 5 rows across


or


six


or


seven


at


the


checkouts


a young woman


saw her


blue


eyes


for


a

second


can


remember


that


blue


those

eyes



can


see


them


now



...........................................
















sometimes


you


go


where


you


don't


want


to

have


to

go!
















crocodiles


have


been


eating


homonids


since


their


speciation


that


is,


crocodiles


have


theories


of


mind


to


attack


and


eat


humans


which


makes


them


very


dangerous


the


aborigines


always


had


quite


high


attrition


rates




if


you


compare


to


large


sharks


humans


are


only


a

by


catch


and


usually


mistaken


for


seals


so


there


is


quite

a


difference


in


danger !
















writing


seems


to


kill


it's


authors


physically


and


mentally


we



are

not


designed


for


it !
















the


KGB


was


obsessed


with


women


or


at


least


sexual


access


to


them !


too


much


testersterone


their


need


to


dominate !


woe


betide


the


men


who


entered


their


system !
















one


fills


in


the


emptiness


of


others


with


one's


own


brain


especially


in


my


own


case


with


women !
















is


life


meaningless ?


the


emptiness


of


discontent


and


failure
















why


am


i


attracted


to


women


with


nothing


upstairs ?


there's


not


much


hope


is


there ?


maybe


because


i


have

quite


a bit


upstairs


there's


not


much


hope


is


there?
















love


captured


by


your


own


brain


:


o


(
















his


works


of


genius


not


published


in


his


lifetime


ignored


persecuted


living


in


poverty


the


last


scenes


in


the


master


and


margarita


say


it


all !
















ownership


of


children


is


a


bit


of


an


illusion
















is


there


some


sort


of


universe


where


everything


is

right


and


done


well?


it's


not


this


one !
















“ doing


something


or


empty


nothingness ? ”


“ empty


nothingness


is


better ! ”
















katie


byron


is


partly


inanimate !


she


would


couple


with



her


house !
















i


use


language


differently


you


can't


be


truely


creative


and


break


new


ground


without


mutating


language


as


well


it


doesn't


make


sense


that


content


can


be


creative


and


it


is


framed


on


unmutating


language !


no


division


ipso


facto !
















in


figuring


this


sort


of


stuff


out


you


have


to


get


over


one


huge


hurdle


figuring


out


that


mostly


everybody


else


is


wrong !
















across


species


time


and


space


offspring


make


suckers


of


mothers


everywhere !


the


illusion



they


are


your


own
!
















the


egyptians


can't


look


at


the


pyramids


without


understanding


the


relativity


of


religion !
















ferals


the


garden


is


covered


with


kittens


cuteness


with


no


effort


by


me


:


o


)
















poetry


i


think


suits


attention


deficit


much


more


than


other


forms


of


writing


like


prose !
















i'm


glad


you


think


me


an


idiot


it's


when


some


-one


appreciates

me


i


worry


:


o


(
















jodie


foster


has


a


glaring


semantic -


pragmatic


deficit


while


it


hasn't


blighted


her


life


or


perhaps


it


has


it


has


made

a


lot


of


what


she


has


done


stupid !


for


a


gender


blurred


one


she


has


too


much


of


the


implicit


hypocrisy


of


women !
















nothing


is


ever


right !
















everything


gets

a


lot


simpler


if


you


stop


thinking


you


know


it


all


:


o


)


and


put


the


work


in


to


make


things


simpler !
















nothing


matters


stalin


mao


hitler


all


those


people


dead


nothing


matters
!
















“ what


is


your


view ”


“ well


i


had


a


view


but


i


don't


know


what


my


view


is


at


the


moment


because


i


don't


know


what


me


is !
”
















where


has


philosophy


gone ?


there's


no


philosopher

that


has


exceeded


heraclitus !


schopenhauer


is

a

s


good

and


has


a

modern


cast


more


scientific


thinking


about


the


world


he


has


been


able


to


take


advantage of


but


that's


about


it !
















yes


i


am


an


unabashed


solipsist !


:


o


)


there


is


a big


difference


between


solipsism


and


atheism !
















you


have


an


opinion


why


should


i


weight


it ?


deliver !
















sometimes


what


i


do


astounds


even


me


:


o


)




comment:



why did i write this ? it's not necessarily good, in fact i spilt something in a rather bizzare way!


there's this idea that there is a larger view of ourselves that the  “me”  doesn't have access to


what


does this mean ?
















any


world


that


has


me


in


it


is


odd !


: o )
















depression


i'm


just


not


believing


in


what


i


am


doing


any


more


i


have


no


sense


of


the


worth


of


what


i


am


doing


at


all


a

profound


change !


human life is very strange !
















if


you


do


something


stably


it


doesn't


run


away


from


you


when


you


leave


it !
















montaigne


these


homilies


are


a

sort


of


a


cross


between


montaigne


nietzsche


jesus


son


of


sirach


ecclesiastes


isaiah chapter 53


and


possibly


emily


dickenson !
















the


beaver


missing


philosophical


weight


asinine


foster


has


something


missing


upstairs


intellect ?


she


has

a


charisma


but


brainless


typical !
















the


thing


about


solipsism


is


that


is


how


things


sorta


are


but


it's


literally


and


not


literally


true !
















huge dissonances in a relationship


happen anyway


wether concealed or not


better unconcealed
















the


chinese


government


ought


to


distance


itself


from


mao


more,


why


i


don't


know


but


any


association


makes


them


look


idiots !
















religion


stops


societies


becoming


too


murderous


robespierre


stalin


mao


and


hitler


were


all


without


religion !


those


priests


were


not


idle,


they


were


doing


something !
















when


you


think


about

kafka


you


have


to


remember


that


his


sisters


were


gassed


i


really

have


trouble


getting


past


that


when


i


start


to


think


about


kafka !
















nothing


fits


if


you


could


see


that


it


would


fit !
















the


main


thing


in


favour


of


our


relationship


is


it


has


these

huge


dissonances


and


it


can


never


be


any


other


way




comment :


it's in favour because large dissonances are always going to occur regardless with any relationship so it's better seen and is not totally crucifying, some relationships are totally crucifying
















these  things  were crawling around


360 to 416 million years ago



i don't see how


you


can


argue


against


evolution


the


creationist


case


is


closed !
















it


takes


health


problems


to


create


questions


about


life


tho


not


always
















“ i


can't


stand


it


any


more ”


“ maybe


you


can ”
















my


view


on


ghosts


or


people


called


up


from


the


dead


i


don't


think


i


can


do


justice


to


discuss


it


except


in

a

very


general


way


like


the


boundaries


of


life


and


death


are


not


clearly


defined


at


all !
















mao


tse


tung


really


formed


the


opinion


there


were


too


many


chinese


and


it


never


bothered


him


that


there


were


less !
















my


theory


of


life


is


i


am


always


going


to


be


killed


it's


better


it


happens


in


sacrifical


ways


that


one


has


some


control


over to


usefully


use


the


consequences


if


possible !
















women


lying


is


more


a


native


facility


than


an


act


of


intention



so much so it's really just a perspective to say it's a lie


it's native, just like walking !



if you read that and don't label lying as bad then you may get the sense more



i think the homily is saying that it's not bad from a certain perspective, it's just an extreme of the process of manipulating language to get things moving in a certain direction
















people


who


are


charismatic


can


walk


into


your


sense


of


self !
















if


things


don't


go


wrong


they


can


never


go


right !
















gaddafi's


son


saadi


is


bisexual


that


sort


of


genetic


heft


to


mental


flexibility


agility


and


plain


nous


makes the family formidable


i


don't


think


the


rebellion


will


succeed


tho


the


gaddafis


may


make


compromises


when


they


regain


control !



update 30/8/11: obviously wrong, those children are the usual unbridled  crazies


update 23/10/11: saadi seems to have had more sense than his father and some of his brothers and left early with loot to  niger !


  saif,  the family seems to have been susceptible to a gender blurring that makes men over susceptible to women but to some or a greater degree not governable or bridable/bidable to them or maybe that's just the wealth and power ! anyway that malappropriateness cost them dearly !
















music gives undue weight to well meant


but


confused


lyrics


like


“ stair


way


to


heaven ” !
















std's


enforce


a


stricter


mongomany


than


evolutionarily


the species


is


designed


for


i


think !
















even


a


crowded

ship can


cross


the


stairway


to


heaven


though


it


just

passes


through


doesn't


stay


long


and


moves


steadily


away !




comment :


this came to mind at the bluff in devonport watching the ferry go out and cross the moon stairway reflection on the water and then move away from it as it headed on out to melbourne !
















time


has


no


meaning


when


you


are


sunbathing


:


o


)
















democracy


is


the


inevitable


consequence


of


a

large


homogeneous


mass


of


people


and


the


net


and


modern


communications


are


greatly


increasing


homogeneity !
















people


have


a


remarkable


ability


to


be


motivated


by


pain


wether


mental


or


physical


;


o


)
















life


is


a


work


in


progress


and

a

s

you


get


over


50


has


an


ongoing


theme


of


decay


: o )
















correct


in


terms


of


what ?


writing


stupid


homilies poems ?
















poems


and


homilies


sometimes


they


evolve


sometimes


they


don't


they


can


be


born


entire


or


they


can


be


born


half -


formed !
















the


problem


with


work


is


it


doesn't


just


take


your


time


it


takes


your


soul
















warfarin


is


basically


a


death


sentence !
















one


of


the


things


about


getting


older


is


the


world


changes


in


ways


that


seem


strange
















one


of


the


things


about


getting


older


is


the


world


keeps


changing


in


ways


that


seem


strange
















what


made


frankenstein


so


good


is


it


was


a


collaboration


between


percy


bysshe shelley


shelly


and


mary


wollstonecraft


godwin
















the


cycle


of


compression


decompression


is


empty


too


or


is


it?


better


not


to


take


stuff


on


board


but


how


can


that


be


avoided ?
















assange


and


wikileaks


have


committed


something


half


way


between


murder


and


manslaughter


people


will


have


died


or


been


killed


as


the


result


of


some


of


their


revelations !


berserkers


they


knew


the


line


but


deliberately


went


over


it !


they


should


have


just


released


what


they


were


confident


did


not


represent


any


threat to


life


but


being


obsessive


they


released


the


whole


fucking


damn


lot !


complete


in


one


sense


but


not


real !
















julian


assange


versus


julia


gillard


i


don't


think


he


understands


that


women


lie

without


thinking !



assange's


problem


is


he


has


entered


the


world


of


intelligence


communities


which


is


where


no


sane


man


wants


to


be !


many


against


one


he


has


lost


before


he


started !


life


threateningly


so !
















from


an


evolutionary


perspective


the


human


female


must


have


had


multiple


partners


they


sexually


outmatch


the


male


so


easily !