this is work in progress or homilies or miscellaneous items that don't warrant a page by themselves or seem to fit better here



chronological order is from the bottom to the top of the page



layout is done with the internet explorer text size setting at  largest  and with a zoom of 125%, though i don't have an opinion on any correct size per se



links are in the  times new roman  font  

















god


has


some


hard


lessons


and


easy


lessons


we


need


to


take


both


and


not


get


stuck


in

a


perversity


of


hard


lessons


only !
















i


suppose


you


are


all


stunned


mullet?


no


angry


gnomes !
















it's


funny


how


writing


at


the


koan


level


is


a


new


concept


to


zen


it


flummoxes


them


when


they


are


not


trying


to

ban


you !
















zen


is


a


mistake


how


can


i


say


it


:


o


)
















explaining


this


and


that


get


fucked !
















Koans


are


crippled


zen


is


crippled


buddhism


is


crippled


stop.
















i don't bother with  either  actually !


with this koan i can see what has been lost in the translation, sorta crippled and most koans are like this, assuming there was some sense to start with


what i don't like about these koans is the way they get twisted into propaganda for the zen "master" nonsense (i might use a stronger word !)


a summer


spent


drifting


with


clouds


and


this


monk


still

doesn't


know


:


o


)
















who


is


more


deluded


the

koan


master


or


the


koan


student ?
















koan


study


is


good


for


inducting


or


reinforcing


schizophrenia


and


not


much


else


in


my


observation


there's


something


to


one


or


two


of


them


but


the


sense


of


most


was


never


there


or


has


been


garbled


or


the


cultural


sense


lost


or


beyond


effective


translation !
















he


looked



a

little


self-


confident


pleased


unto


death


inside


truth !




ed. note:  this was written in my sleep !
















the


web


at

it's


best


works


by


stealth


:


o


)
















what


atheism


is


can


be


be


confusing


if


you


look


at

what


it


is


practically


which

is


a


form


of


humanism


the


confusion

clears !


the



same


with


zen


dull


intellectually


retarded


people


clutching


their


precious


little


intellectual


investments !
















does


depression



abate


our


egosim


so


much

that


we


can


effectively


problem

solve ?
















prison

is


a

form


of


execution


by


poor


diet


and


lack


of


sun !
















totality


is

a


viewpoint


not


a


being !
















eating


zen


twits

before


breakfast


:


o


)
















zen


is


pretend


transmission


is


pretend


it's


all


pretend !
















you


won't


begin


to


understand


zen


until


you


walk


away


from


it !
















evolution


is


a


good


example


of


the


limitations


of


quantum


it


can't


tell


ahead


of


time


what


works !


so


trial


and


error !
















i


don't


really


think


 anything


 matters


at


  all !
















i


don't


really


think


 anything


  matters !
















god


can


be


rejection


but


it's


not


arrogance !
















“ assembly


of


god ”


god


has

no


assemblies !
















the


strangeness


of


being


me !
















the


whole


thing


about


life


it


can

take


you


20


or


30


years


to


realize


you


have


been


travelling


in


the

wrong


direction !
















lenin


and


hitler


both


   antinominists !
















what


i


do


never


seems


to


fit


any

categories


ever !


:


o


)


(
















if


you


don't


have


any


certainty


about


yourself


you


won't


have


any


certainty


about


anything


else !
















disrupted sense of  self  in autism   (eileen)



   my reply:


and the larger sense of life as well since self identity is a neurological construct!


like physicists these people only take the implications of what they do to a certain point and no further !
















when


we


are


wrong


we


only


hurt


ourselves !
















some of us are holed before birth. often it's a case of accepting it and working through the implications !
















it's


a


mismatch


all


i


do


is


empty !
















you


can


try


to


control


everything


but


you


can't


it


doesn't


work !
















russia


land


of


apartments


:


o


)


(
















roger


penrose


good


but

a


bit


off

target !
















gender


blurring


some


odd


blend


of


lesbian


and


male


gay !
















at


some


point


galaxies


will


collide


universes even


and


the


moon


will


no

longer


rotate


about


the


earth !


you


are


telling


me


there


is


some


point


to


something ?
















rudder


or


rudderless


if


you


are


sunken


what


does


it


matter ?
















religion


ritual


discordant


mumbo-


jumbo


people


seem


happy enough with it !
















a


lot


of


the


craziness


of


the


human


species


comes


from


the


rigidity


of


adults !
















messiah


i

don't


think

god


works


that


way !
















messiah


i

don't


think

god


works


that


way !
















the


degree


of


attention


everything


requires


is


ridiculous !
















you


just


don't


get


better


than


nietzsche


bukowski


keats


mandelstham


schopenhauer


there's


some


sort


of


ceiling !


heraclitus


sappho


emily


dickinson


jesus


son


of


sirach


sa'di !
















i


don't


think


one


has


to


be


right


particularly


or


even


wrong


this


sort


of


development


is


just


endless  !
















my


writing


is


not


better


than


bukowski


or


nietzsche


it's


in


a


totally


different


class !


i


don't


know


what


that


means


:


o


(


an


apples


and


oranges


comparison ?


you


can't


really


compare


it's


not


a


continuum !
















what's


really


of


interest


is


this


anthropic


principle


because


that's


where


physics


and


ontology


and


everything


meets !
















one


never


fitted


that


well


with


life


before


and


maybe


one


fits


less


well


now ?
















it's


actually


not


enough


to


look


at


something


you


have


to

form


a


memory

a

s


well !
















dogen


was


partly


mad


some


of


it


in

a


good


way


some


of


it


in


a


not


good


way !
















the


notion


of


god


as


a

creator


is


unsophisticated


as


well


as


being


wrong


it's


more


some


summation


of


infinity
















atheism is a counterblance to religion and of the same ilk really !
















the atheist viewpoint is as simplistic as the religious and in fact is still the human worship of itself by another name, just like religion.


i have no hypothesis about god except a lack of referents and capacity for internal contradictions


which is like life of course !
















jesus


being


fictional


like


any


story


character


is


full


of


contradictions !
















one


of


the


fundamental


mechanisms


of


human


behavior


is


the


power


of


majority


beliefs


right


or


wrong !
















i


am


not


me


we


are


not


solid


objects


:


o


)
















it's


interesting


that


the


core


of


physics


and


astrophysics


is


the


anthropic


principle


that


is


wether


something


is


coherent


enough


to


be


observed !
















the first  indications  of other universes besides our own


eternal inflation is the bubble expansion of the universe at the “big bang” which may be a misnomer and actually may be a compression point from a previous universes's collapse


astrophysics has made a bit of progress in recent years, string theory is looking a bit of an orphan and loop quantum gravity (LQG) proposes that space is not infinitely divisible but granular !


under LQG space is a network of intersecting loops, the loops being the quantum excitations of the gravitational field !


   page  3
















to


me


there's


this


central


issue


of


decompression


what


you


do


and


decompressing


what


you


do !
















i


notice


that


top


physicists


like


guth


and


bojowold


have


a


much


more


sophisticated


view


of


ultimate


causes


than


atheists !
















atheism


is


like


christianity


an


unsophisticated


view


of


reality !
















why


is


the


earth


so


rich?


you


can


see


it


everything


else


is


just


a


hunk


of


dust


or


frozen


methane


or


slush


or


whatever !


that


richness


gives


rise


to

life


forms


that


can


perceive


it


that's


about


all

there


is


too


it !
















an


unlikely


event



is


likely


to


itself


you


can't


argue


when


all


you


see


around


you


are


yourself


and


it's


antecedents

















myself


nietzsche


i


think


it's


different


there


isn't


a


continuum


of


better


or


worse


i


hope


i


am


up


there


with

him !
















the


joy


of


the


young


at


the


birthdays


of


the


old


knowing


they


will

outlive them !


if


they


had


any


sense


they


could


see


their


time


was


coming


around


fast !
















there's


abit


missing


in


string


theory


you


don't


know


what


it


is


or


if


it


will


ever


be


found !


it's


part


of


the


inadequacy


that


you


can't


say


much


more


or


if


you


say


more


it's


unreal


and


fantasy !


that


can


only


be


pared


away


by


intense


looking


and


experience


and

still


may


have


no


positive


outcome !
















some-one


like


alan

guth


a


life

time


of


clarification


to

make


things


simple


for


me !


:


o


)
















string


theory


may


be

a

meta


theory


of


physics


and


looks


more


shonky


at


the


local


level !
















theologians


you


cannot


believe


something


that


is


utterly


untrue


and


obviously


fictious


and


have

a

first


rate


mind !
















the


anthropic


is


not


a


principle


of


last


resort


but


first


resort !
















the anthropic is not a principle of last resort but  first resort !
















the


anthropic


principle


is


the


fundamental


philosophical


base


of


observation


not


a


codicil


or


“ last


resort ! ”
















asking


if


a


religion


is


true


it's


easy


to


see


since


there


is


more


than


one


and


they


are


contradictory


they


can't


be !
















why


does


the


anthropic


principle


cause

so


much


trouble ?


people


can't


take


that


there


are


multiple


states


of


existance


some


even


imaginary


only


the


tinest


proportion


of


which


can


self -


observe !
















is


religion


an


improvement


or

a


continuation


of


the


problem ?
















humans


are


all


about


breeding !
















schopenhauer


one


generation


hitler


the


next


it


doesn't


do


much


good


does it ?
















what

does


an


organization


prove ?


that


more


than


one


of


you


is


an


idiot ? !
















there's


really

nothing


of


a


communal


nature


or


otherwise


to


convey


that


is


in


terms


of


communities


it's


meaningless !
















if you sit around discussing it


all


day


you


can't


see


it !
















infinity


is


limited


infinity


is


unlimited
















today's


nutrition


is

more


important


than


tomorrows !
















science


fiction


is


a


pale


relative


of


cosmological


physics !
















we


sorta


live


blind


it's


not


accidental !
















why


do


we


think


there's


always


intention


when


there


plainly


is


none



it's


always


dithering


between


something


and


nothing !
















loop


quantum


cosmology


i


am


much


more


special


than


it


seems !
















are


we


afraid


to


look


at


how


things


factually


are ?


it


can


often


be


in


our


favour !
















we're


both


mad


but


there's


sort


of


a


mad


that's


ultra


sane !
















grey


skys


 swillingly


   depressive !
















grey


skies


swill

type


depression


:


o


(
















life


is


like


tai


chi


endless


waves


of


aggressive


pushing


foiled


by


adroit


and


sinuous


deflection


if


you


can !
















like


any


new


horizon


it's


exciting


at


first


and


then


dulls


abit


unless


new


horizons


keep


popping


up !
















a


factor


in


the


evolution


fo


human


language


must


have


been


it's


facilitation


of


the


females


ability


to


maintain


control


of


the


male !
















i


think


tautologically


time


is


infinite


where


space


is


not


necessarily


so


space


begins


and


ends


so


to


speak !
















what


i


write


basically


it's


too

good


for

a


stupid


world !
















such

a


quandary

between

knowing


nothing


and


knowing


something !
















“ designers


are


more


complex


than


what


is


being


designed ! ”


in


terms


of


the


universe


and


biology


these


things


are


at


the


fundamental


limit


of


complexity


into


quantum


and


indeterminancy


so


how


can


you


have

a


designer ?
















the


western


education


system


is


utterly

and


completely


arse


about


face !
















omnipotent


how


can


athing


be


all

powerfull


because


it's


a


thing ?
















maybe


i


have


moved


ahead


of


you


maybe


i


have


moved


behind


you


maybe


i


have


moved


ahead


and


behind


you


:


o


(


)
















one


can


be


both


joking


and


serious


at


the


same


time !
















there's


something


about


making

a


lot


of


money


and


some


exclusion


of


vision !
















i


now


think


we


will


be


supplanted


by


reproducing


machines


probably


in

a


not


very


friendly


way


rather


like


homo


sapiens


supplanted


neanderthal !
















there


is


no


machine


yet


that


is


reproducing !


when


that


happens


look


out


humanity !


they


will


colonise


space


and


not


humans
















my


writing


style


is


really


dense


sorta


james


joyce


but


more


so !


the


drop


down


is


to


slow


people


down


and


allow


the


synergies


to


develop !
















if


it


wasn't


for


the


poetry


would


we


be


still


together ?
















the circus


of


men

and


women


and


child


rearing


what


makes


it

a


circus


is


it's


so


hard


to


escape !
















you


shouldn't


look


at


charles


bukowski


without


a


critical


eye


criticisms


can


be


made !
















it's the transparent condition


of


death


and


life


the


simultaneity


of


that


very


and


sorta


interesting


at


times !
















i  thought i


couldn't


sleep


but


i


just


went


to


sleep


for


a


long


time !
















in


this


writing


you


can


see


the


infinite


nature


of


life


just


endless


:


o


)
















spring  tides  which are high high tides and low low tides occur with the full and new moons !


1/2 moons are neap which is low high tides and high low tides !
















dave


of


fiteyes


gender


blurred


autistic


and


manipulative


and


alittle


bit


crazy !
















females


masters


of


the


art


of


unconcious


ambush !
















life


is


   misadventure !
















go


hippo


a


thick


hide


saves


you


from


the


bastards !
















i think that's an ok  poem  and can be general


more than sentimental


 sorta unison of natural imagery with human passions
















i think a lot of what the somerset alcohol collective is about is high maintenance men looking for low maintenance women !



or


is


that


just


life


in


general


:


o


)
















that's


always


the


way


a mouthfull


of

thorns


they


will


parlay !
















two


milk


jugs


and a


womb !
















it's


all


fucked


because


it's


an


image !


death


is


the


completion


of


the


image

there


is


no


issue


there


was


an


issue


and


now


there's


no


issue !
















the


statistical


basis


of


majority


opinion


explains


so much


of


history


and

life !


AND


HUMAN


IRRATIONALITY !
















10% is the  change  point from minority to majority opinion


interesting that the base of majority opinion is statistical, nothing



really


to


do

with


right


and


wrong


at


all !


as


history


shows !
















i'm


not


really


writing

to


this


generation


:


o


(


)
















this


man


has


completely


destroyed


the

christian


myth !
















so


who


are


you


and


who


am


i


and


who's


the


moon


and


who's


the


sky ?
















it's


a


smaller


world


at


the


top


than

you


might


think


even


the

next


layer


down


is

not


so


crowded


then


the


rabble


set


in


:


o


)


(
















if


you

see


a


ghost


i


think


it


asks


a


question


about


what


there


existance


was !
















i


don't


know


why


everyone


has


to


be


such


judgemental


farts


but


they


are !
















russell


brand


a


bit


goofy


but


not


too


bad !
















charles


bukowski


was


really


able


without


the


writing


and


alcohol


he


could

have


been


steve


jobs


or


bill


gates


or


warren

buffet


and


then


where


would


we


be?


the


world


is


not


short


of


the


rich


misguided


:


o


)


(
















the


price


to


understanding


is


too


high


people


don't


pay


it !
















if


you


really


want


to


understand


life


you


have


to


be


stretched


and


stretched


and


stretched !


it


doesn't


hurt


to


be


broken


a


couple


of


times


but


you


must


recover !


:


o


)


(
















about


five


years


before

menopause onset


you


will


start


to


understand


the


defeat

that


is


in


store


for


all


of


us !
















the


homilies


and


compendium


in


a


way


ensure


i


never


will


become


successful


like


charles


bukowski


and


drink


continual


defeat


is


essential


for


ultimate


sanity !
















sex


for


women


is


an


antidepressant !
















i


am


gullible


if


people


say


something


i


believe


them !


predators


and


sharks


know


this !
















charles bukowski


interviews


it


will


never


happen


to


me


i


don't


know


why


what


i


say


is


too


unplatable ?


i


won't


be


alive ?


it's


not


good


enough !


:


o


(


)
















because


you


disagree


with


it


doesn't


make


it


wrong !


:


o


)


(
















“ what


is


genius ”


cleverness


tarred

with


stupidity ?
















mania


one loses a sense of caution and gets what are effectively unrealistic expectations in my experience


   unfortunately it can be self feeding !
















we


have


always


been


at


war


with


the


neighbouring


village !
















men


natural


roamers


that


get


transfixed


by


women


into


one


place


:


o


)


(
















the land


of


the


dead


is


the


real


view


all other views are illusion !
















it's like a card game and your opponents have unbeknownst to themselves shown you their cards
















“ i'm not sure men really understand how damaging it can be to be casually fucked, it really goes against a woman's brain ”
















the somerset alcohol collective is a sorta “ place my sperm and run ” paradigm !
















it's the difference between women having to raise a child regardless


and men still being able to leave progeny even if they disappear
















i


think


you


have


two


quite


distinct


roads


you


can


take


one


you


can


burn


out


and


crash


following


the


illusion


of


love


or


you


can


take


a middle


way


of


caution


perseverance


and


patience


which


will


give


some


disbelief


in


that


illusion,


enough


to


get


by


and


avoid


the


usual


autistic


painful


extreme


of


death


and


slow


dying !
















humans


are


a


species


basically


blind


through


not


   looking !
















humans


are


a


species


basically


blind


through


not


looking !
















women


operate


like


machines


they


don't


question


their


health


they


go


like


the


clappers


if


they


are


able


to


and


if


they


can't


they


don't !
















the


modern


theme


the


downsizing


of


intelligence !
















what


are


your


own


thoughts ?


do


you


actually


have


any ?


yeah


i


do !
















what


are


your


own


thoughts ?
















can


you


hear

your


own


thoughts ?
















can


you


hear

your


own


thoughts ?
















post


modern


is


subclinical


cretinism


or


maybe


clinical


:


o


)
















zizek


on


love


and


the


void !
















the loneliness


of


a


single


universe


:


o


(
















it's


a


strange


world


people


we


think


we


know


can


move


away


from


us


and


we


can't


see


it


happening !
















too


smart


in

one


direction


failure


in


another


direction
















too


smart


in

one


direction


failure


in


another


direction
















if


you


think


you


have


been


bloody


and


bruised


before . . .


nobody


can


do


it


to


you


like


a


woman


:


o


(
















read


the


above


lines


in


glitter


so


they


shimmer


and


shine


break


out


the


twine !


hang


from


the


ceiling


and


mix


in


brine !
















read


the


above


lines


in


glitter


so


they


shimmer


and


shine


break


out


the


twine !

















i


am


not


concerned


with


how


i


appear


to


you !
















poets


wives


lead


lives


of


poverty
















illness


blights


things


it's


not


like


you


are


the


same


person


who

becomes


ill


everything


is


deprecated !
















it


all


looks


very


human


until


you


see


him


scowl
















holy


is


a


quality


of


god !
















is there some truth on relationships that there is a final word or correct postion?
















yeah, it's not quite right (my comment to eileen on her disliking a poem/homily she wrote ! ) but imo it's best to leave it up


poems that are not quite right can have interesting insights you may pick up later


i find with stuff i do that too, that they are righter than it can seem at the time and also it's an acceptance of things not being perfect which is important


i do occasionally write homilies/poems i feel like that with


and leave them on


in part because i know that the more wrong minded poems are likely to be popular because of the wrong mindedness of people and space is free
















religion


has


always


been


consumeristic !
















religion


is


imagination


it's


inherent

in


the


way


reality


works !
















relationships


are


like


leopards


or


tigers


and


always


remain


that


way !
















darwin


is


as


true


as


the


periodic


table


is !
















i'm not an atheist


i'm not a christian


i'm


not


me


the

last


is


the


most


   significant !
















both ug krishnamurti and more recently joko beck killed themselves, ug i think by discontinuing his heart medication and joko by not eating


only an issue if you get to 94


disappearing into the misty waves is, of course, more poetic !


that's an allegorical and quite wrong minded koan !
















a


lover


is


different


from


a


friend


they


get


so


unfriendly


:


o


(

)
















why


do


explanations


fail


with


people


as


they


usually


do ?

















why


do


explanations


fail


as


they


usually


do


with

people?
















i


never


regarded

migraine


as


pain


but


it


is


pain !
















i


have


lead


a


bit


of


a

silly


life


in


streaks


not


so


silly !
















everything


works


until


it


stops


working


:


o


)