this is work in progress or homilies or miscellaneous items that don't warrant a page by themselves or seem to fit better here

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i look forward

to criticism




of a poem

we live by dollars

we survive by dollars

we die by dollars

publicity drags

too many


out of



if you win

don't touch it

it can become


spacing lines like i do

just gives


extra dimension

the poetry of others

has a veneer of difficulty

compared to

ones own writing



is the


of others

that is


own poetry



to oneself

an essential thing





if you are putting

your lifes work

on a hard disk

you need




a backup

    a dual meaning saying

“when the going gets tough

      the tough get going”

you can change so much

you don't know



its frightening

the real is a form of imagination

abstract embraces the imaginary

and the real


you can

and cannot

apply it to real life

the way we operate

there's consensus in a generation

and consensus across the generations

consensus across the years, centuries and generations cannot be known

since it happens after we are dead

but there is a conversation across the generations

and that is occurring

but people only take consensus within a generation as valid

mobile phone use while driving is a definite accident causer and i don't see that cd's and radio are that different in the way attention is distracted or modulated, tho less in effect than a mobile phone and not so brain damaging

long distance driving has its own set of hazards and at moments one needs complete attention and music distracts, delaying the response time

i am not going to tell you

because working things out yourselves is fun

we expect everything

to be given to us

into todays society

working things out yourself

you see

everything is endless process


and unweaving

and in the end

we unweave

and die

i really think


vege gardening

is the



my advice for improving couple communication

set up a message boards just for yourselves

you will see that it works

we have a tendency to search over and over

in the same spot

because we think its there

but in fact thats telling us




you can walk against schizophrenia as well

as along the line of schizophrenia

i'll give this for bukowski

he ended my

toni packer


people want an explanation

but they can't be bothered

to read or think

its just not possible

it requires the abandonment

of so many

exisitng viewpoints

theres some coherent backdrop

against which all

human life and experience

makes sense

going back to the null position

i find this helpful

writing everything off mentally

we all get eaten alive

by the aging process

one of the problems people have

is not being able to disclose things about themselves

in a way that is helpful to them

on the one side you need input about a problem

on the other you don't want to disclose things

that may lead to blackmail

or put people off you

its a delicate art

as far as you have come there's 10 times further to go

what would a black hole think?

i wonder if lesbian couples are always a bit doomed

two horse drivers

and no horse

my writings are a discursion on reality

without the illusions

women are horse drivers

men are the horses

i think pyschiatric meds mask things

or give a false appearance

but the reality will always come out

the problem with eft is it is like religion

it rewires the brain in a schizophrenic like manner or actual schizophrenia

meditation does this too

however there is a certain authenticity to schizophrenia

i am not saying its all negative

what i have noticed is that people don't like truth on the web

what they want

is saccharine bullshit

life too

i suppose

to know wether eft was fucked or not

all i had to do was look at the individuals promoting it on the web

they were the most loathsome sickly sweet shits i had ever seen

people only oppose what they know to be right

but can't bear to hear

i love silence and nonbeing

emotions appear to be fixed in concrete

but in fact are amenable to thought

and more plastic than appears

with a few stratagems

thoughts can change instantly

but emotions can't

couples have different strengths

though it seems like the other party should not need to have a deficiency of judgement remedied

in the end you always have to rectify the deficiency

its like john of the cross

life is just one gaping wound

i think the thing about a practical approach

is the outcome is always uncertain

you just have to live with that

the lack of uncertainty with theory is why just following theory can be a problem

what works best is a mix of both, especially a tenuous testing of theory

a lot of people just hold thier opinions as being right

simply because they hold them

the notion of being right as the most consistent explanation of the facts or what occurs

escapes them

but the necessity of violence and theft doesn't

there's a certain natural roughness of relationship that needs to occur

or it will break up

the world is full of this loathsome and destructive avoidance of necessary friction

we both have our issues with ourselves and each other

best to take a practical approach

a womans needs are endless and increasing

words of wisdom (from a female correspondent)

“they are all wankers”

people are a form of sheep basically

you have to be careful not to get defined by opposition to something

words of wisdom

“they are all bitches”

where the crowd is

i am not

you have to be careful of religions and translations

you can get something profound

turned into the most inane drivel

and thoroughly wrong minded

i think you are a writer

when you would rather write

than make money


“you need protecting”

i am transparent like a ghost

things go straight through me

i can't be hurt that much

so i don't really need it

what i figured in the end with the health message boards

is a person could be dying and if they had to lift a finger to save themselves

they wouldn't

if they could ask someone to save them they would

if they could take someone else with them on the way out

they would

just be careful

one thing i am learning is not to try and solve more problems than i need to

how completely problems should be solved is an open question

sometimes it really pays to go that extra mile and bring the problem/solution nexus to the next level

other times it can pay just to let it drift on

i think theres a philosophical thing about not completely avoiding problems, but there's some inescapable level of difficulty and its better to live with  “the devil you know”

amateur and professional is a human paradigm

my problem is i give my complete soul to everything

and it kills me

the odd thing about love

is despite the pain it can bring

we don't particularly

want to fall out of it

liking bukowski's poems

does not make you bukowski

sometimes i think i am going to die

somtimes i don't

its better to be behind than ahead

bound in the shackles of egoism

the morons never see

what is in front of them

how disturbed they are the proles

by anything that brings into question

the mechanisms of their existance

wether there's sex or not

everyone is living a sexual paradigm

that includes celibates

cockroaches don't have any illusions about their powerlessness

SCD and BCD co-exist

you overpaid fat cats!

go wipe your arses

then blow your noses with that lavatory paper

there's always a long way to go

time doesn't heal, but it makes it bearable

medicine is the new religion

people claim to be religious

but they only worship medicine

any problem and they run to mommy doctor

in other words

they only worship their own comfort

a cold wind guts the sun of its warmth

poetry depends a lot on “knowing the answer before the question is finished”

that is, you know what it is talking about before you have finished reading

or even if the poem is not quite right in its expression

everything is just one endless approximation

there is no reward

but the mortification of me

believe me

i am mortified

i am tired of the insincere


religion is boorish

full of boors, thugs and psychotics

typical human organizational behavior

on the other hand if john of the cross had not been taken in and fed by religious institutions in medina as a child

he would have died

i am tired

of attending

my own crucifixion

being educated

is like a pyschotic episode

in ones life

the crossed stars of love

with contraception

there is a heap more female sexual appetite

out there

than there is male ability to satisfy it

things can get worse and more dangerous as you get older

kings are arseholes that crush

until they are crushed

i do nothing quite well

english literature education is not education

but the cultivation of moronacy

nothing is more loathsome than an english lit phd

well any university nutrition qualification

it might all be bearable

except for the way they shoot anybody who is compedent

and the morons like nazis

spread their sexual fluids everywhere

in my  reply  to bukowski's "the trash can"

i could have put HA HA HA at the end

but i didn't have to

he had already said it

i think what is not said in a poem is sorta like the shape the poem is sculpted around

keat's  “ode to a grecian urn”  is prominent for this

time, frozen time and beauty are themselves sculpted around

you can know something in theory

and its sort of easy and smooth

but if you do something for real

it gets very messy, hard and the results are ambiguous

there's nothing more disheartening than reading the lives of poets and writers

born in misery

live in misery

and die in misery

i remember reading on the web this description of this guy who was on LSD and describing looking at a stream

he was amazed to be totally absorbed into it

i thought, well this is how i am normally

its like i am permanently on LSD

everybody is important as individuals

but as a crowd we are not

even truth is limited

in the right

or in the wrong

it doesn't really matter

you are still the injured party

modern society is too hazardous for the damaged female

they get suckered by the pyschiatrics

those wonderful killers of any intelligence

there are some good women writers but no greats now

sappho had quite a nice time

but she must have been suicidal to write with the insight she did

one of the weird things about the web

is you can publish a poem

before it

is finished

bukowski is such a genius

you wonder what he would have been like

not an alcoholic

even though he said he would have comitted suicide without the alcohol

he would have been like goethe or something

this sort of episodic, semi-consequential

is twitter across the centuries

if you know what you are looking for

you can see


wisdom writings


rambles of like minds

to like


usually not



i have no responsibility for

its persistence

human taste is so little

for what

it's not


sleep is like

a balm

the eyes may smile

though the face does not

i find bifocals too abrupt with the transition in focal length, messes my brain

i have three pairs of glasses

one pair is just distance, one pair is for the computer and general use, closer focal length, can read with them but a bit marginal and the graduated which gives distance to reading

i am sure i have it right

the clutch of dying

God taketh

and God returneth

i don't think it would be OK

except there is absolutely no choice

nothing has to be done today

it can all be put off till tomorrow

i seem to have become a writer

because all i do is write

with the internet now there's so many in writing

and a profusion of blathery verbal effusion

that submerges any real quality