u can check the scroll slider on the right for position on the page
i look forward
to criticism
in
the
form
of a poem
we live by dollars
we survive by dollars
we die by dollars
publicity drags
too many
skeletons
out of
the
closet
if you win
don't touch it
it can become
unwon
spacing lines like i do
just gives
an
extra dimension
the poetry of others
has a veneer of difficulty
compared to
ones own writing
because
it
is the
writing
of others
that is
ones
own poetry
reads
easier
to oneself
an essential thing
my
early
morning
exercises
if you are putting
your lifes work
on a hard disk
you need
to
think
about
a backup
a dual meaning saying
“when the going gets tough
the tough get going”
you can change so much
you don't know
yourself
and
its frightening
the real is a form of imagination
abstract embraces the imaginary
and the real
therefore
you can
and cannot
apply it to real life
the way we operate
there's consensus in a generation
and consensus across the generations
consensus across the years, centuries and generations cannot be known
since it happens after we are dead
but there is a conversation across the generations
and that is occurring
but people only take consensus within a generation as valid
mobile phone use while driving is a definite accident causer and i don't see
that cd's and radio are that different in the way attention is distracted or modulated,
tho less in effect than a mobile phone and not so brain damaging
long distance driving has its own set of hazards and at moments one needs
complete attention and music distracts, delaying the response time
i am not going to tell you
because working things out yourselves is fun
we expect everything
to be given to us
into todays society
working things out yourself
you see
everything is endless process
weaving
and unweaving
and in the end
we unweave
and die
i really think
that
vege gardening
is the
sanest
activity
my advice for improving couple communication
set up a message boards just for yourselves
you will see that it works
we have a tendency to search over and over
in the same spot
because we think its there
but in fact thats telling us
its
not
there
you can walk against schizophrenia as well
as along the line of schizophrenia
i'll give this for bukowski
he ended my
toni packer
obsession
people want an explanation
but they can't be bothered
to read or think
its just not possible
it requires the abandonment
of so many
exisitng viewpoints
theres some coherent backdrop
against which all
human life and experience
makes sense
going back to the null position
i find this helpful
writing everything off mentally
we all get eaten alive
by the aging process
one of the problems people have
is not being able to disclose things about themselves
in a way that is helpful to them
on the one side you need input about a problem
on the other you don't want to disclose things
that may lead to blackmail
or put people off you
its a delicate art
as far as you have come
there's 10 times further to go
what would a black hole think?
i wonder if lesbian couples are always a bit doomed
two horse drivers
and no horse
my writings are a discursion on reality
without the illusions
women are horse drivers
men are the horses
i think pyschiatric meds mask things
or give a false appearance
but the reality will always come out
the problem with eft is it is like religion
it rewires the brain in a schizophrenic like manner or actual schizophrenia
meditation does this too
however there is a certain authenticity to schizophrenia
i am not saying its all negative
what i have noticed is that people don't like truth on the web
what they want
is saccharine bullshit
life too
i suppose
to know wether eft was fucked or not
all i had to do was look at the individuals promoting it on the web
they were the most loathsome sickly sweet shits i had ever seen
people only oppose what they know to be right
but can't bear to hear
i love silence and nonbeing
emotions appear to be fixed in concrete
but in fact are amenable to thought
and more plastic than appears
with a few stratagems
thoughts can change instantly
but emotions can't
couples have different strengths
though it seems like the other party should not need to have a deficiency of judgement remedied
in the end you always have to rectify the deficiency
its like john of the cross
life is just one gaping wound
i think the thing about a practical approach
is the outcome is always uncertain
you just have to live with that
the lack of uncertainty with theory is why just following theory can be a problem
what works best is a mix of both, especially a tenuous testing of theory
a lot of people just hold thier opinions as being right
simply because they hold them
the notion of being right as the most consistent explanation of the facts or what occurs
escapes them
but the necessity of violence and theft doesn't
there's a certain natural roughness of relationship that needs to occur
or it will break up
the world is full of this loathsome and destructive avoidance of necessary friction
we both have our issues with ourselves and each other
best to take a practical approach
a womans needs are endless and increasing
words of wisdom (from a female correspondent)
“they are all wankers”
people are a form of sheep basically
you have to be careful not to get defined by opposition to something
words of wisdom
“they are all bitches”
where the crowd is
i am not
you have to be careful of religions and translations
you can get something profound
turned into the most inane drivel
and thoroughly wrong minded
i think you are a writer
when you would rather write
than make money
Damn!
“you need protecting”
i am transparent like a ghost
things go straight through me
i can't be hurt that much
so i don't really need it
what i figured in the end with the health message boards
is a person could be dying and if they had to lift a finger to save themselves
they wouldn't
if they could ask someone to save them they would
if they could take someone else with them on the way out
they would
just be careful
one thing i am learning is not to try and solve more problems than i need to
how completely problems should be solved is an open question
sometimes it really pays to go that extra mile and bring the problem/solution nexus to the next level
other times it can pay just to let it drift on
i think theres a philosophical thing about not completely avoiding problems, but there's some inescapable level of difficulty and its better to live with “the devil you know”
amateur and professional is a human paradigm
my problem is i give my complete soul to everything
and it kills me
the odd thing about love
is despite the pain it can bring
we don't particularly
want to fall out of it
liking bukowski's poems
does not make you bukowski
sometimes i think i am going to die
somtimes i don't
its better to be behind than ahead
bound in the shackles of egoism
the morons never see
what is in front of them
how disturbed they are the proles
by anything that brings into question
the mechanisms of their existance
wether there's sex or not
everyone is living a sexual paradigm
that includes celibates
cockroaches don't have any illusions about their powerlessness
SCD and BCD co-exist
you overpaid fat cats!
go wipe your arses
then blow your noses with that lavatory paper
there's always a long way to go
time doesn't heal, but it makes it bearable
medicine is the new religion
people claim to be religious
but they only worship medicine
any problem and they run to mommy doctor
in other words
they only worship their own comfort
a cold wind guts the sun of its warmth
poetry depends a lot on “knowing the answer before the question is finished”
that is, you know what it is talking about before you have finished reading
or even if the poem is not quite right in its expression
everything is just one endless approximation
there is no reward
but the mortification of me
believe me
i am mortified
i am tired of the insincere
pretenders
religion is boorish
full of boors, thugs and psychotics
typical human organizational behavior
on the other hand if john of the cross had not been taken in and fed by religious institutions in medina as a child
he would have died
i am tired
of attending
my own crucifixion
being educated
is like a pyschotic episode
in ones life
the crossed stars of love
with contraception
there is a heap more female sexual appetite
out there
than there is male ability to satisfy it
things can get worse and more dangerous as you get older
kings are arseholes that crush
until they are crushed
i do nothing quite well
english literature education is not education
but the cultivation of moronacy
nothing is more loathsome than an english lit phd
well any university nutrition qualification
it might all be bearable
except for the way they shoot anybody who is compedent
and the morons like nazis
spread their sexual fluids everywhere
in my reply to bukowski's "the trash can"
i could have put HA HA HA at the end
but i didn't have to
he had already said it
i think what is not said in a poem is sorta like the shape the poem is sculpted around
keat's “ode to a grecian urn” is prominent for this
time, frozen time and beauty are themselves sculpted around
you can know something in theory
and its sort of easy and smooth
but if you do something for real
it gets very messy, hard and the results are ambiguous
there's nothing more disheartening than reading the lives of poets and writers
born in misery
live in misery
and die in misery
i remember reading on the web this description of this guy who was on LSD and describing looking at a stream
he was amazed to be totally absorbed into it
i thought, well this is how i am normally
its like i am permanently on LSD
everybody is important as individuals
but as a crowd we are not
even truth is limited
in the right
or in the wrong
it doesn't really matter
you are still the injured party
modern society is too hazardous for the damaged female
they get suckered by the pyschiatrics
those wonderful killers of any intelligence
there are some good women writers but no greats now
sappho had quite a nice time
but she must have been suicidal to write with the insight she did
one of the weird things about the web
is you can publish a poem
before it
is finished
bukowski is such a genius
you wonder what he would have been like
not an alcoholic
even though he said he would have comitted suicide without the alcohol
he would have been like goethe or something
this sort of episodic, semi-consequential
is twitter across the centuries
if you know what you are looking for
you can see
it
wisdom writings
sayings
rambles of like minds
to like
minds
usually not
temporally
contiguous
i have no responsibility for
its persistence
human taste is so little
for what
it's not
sometimes
sleep is like
a balm
the eyes may smile
though the face does not
i find bifocals too abrupt with the transition in focal length, messes my brain
i have three pairs of glasses
one pair is just distance, one pair is for the computer and general use, closer focal length, can read with them but a bit marginal and the graduated which gives distance to reading
i am sure i have it right
the clutch of dying
God taketh
and God returneth
i don't think it would be OK
except there is absolutely no choice
nothing has to be done today
it can all be put off till tomorrow
i seem to have become a writer
because all i do is write
with the internet now there's so many in writing
and a profusion of blathery verbal effusion
that submerges any real quality
typical