this is work in progress or homilies or miscellaneous items that don't warrant a page by themselves or seem to fit better here



u can check the scroll slider on the right for the position on the page
















sometimes


i write


like


its


a parallel


universe
















shes seeing another man


why


can't i


bloody cry?
















born


to


the


useless
















provided


the punctuation


capitalization


and


spelling


conform


to what the school marms


say


its


all


ok


so


bleat


the morons


spilling conceptual


rubbish


onto


page


after


page
















small


minds


trying


to grasp


what


they


cannot


hold
















its sorta damaging to read the newspapers


they are written by


such


morons































ug


and


j


krishnamurti


are


better


understood


as


a


complement


of


which


ug


is


by


far


the more


interesting


half
















i


never


existed


anyway


what


does


it


matter?
















a woman


without


a


man


is


like


a driver


without


a


car
















humans


are


evolutionary


robots
















if bukowski has a weakness


and i think


it was the alcohol


its


that


he didn't


develop


the visual


absolute


face


of reality


enough
















where


are


we


made


to


go


and


not


to


go?
















so much


to do


so


little


time


to do


it


and


the net


is


so


wide


;o)
















there is


an


inevitability


about


cycles
















its such a tragedy keats died young



"towering"


doesn't


begin


to


 describe


him
















keats picked


the eyes


out of


dante


with


his




a dream, after reading dante's episode of paolo and francesca




as hermes once took to his feathers light


when lulled argus, baffled, swooned and slept


so on a delphic reed, my idle spright


so played, so charmed, so conquered, so bereft


the dragon-world of all its hundred eyes;


and seeing it asleep, so fled away


not to pure ida with its snow-cold skies


nor unto tempe, where jove grieved a day


but to that second circle of sad hell


where in the gust, the whirlwind, and the flaw


of rain and hail-stones, lovers need not tell


their sorrows. pale were the sweet lips i saw


pale were the lips i kissed, and fair the form


i floated with, about that melancholy storm.
















“if you listen to the patient carefully


they will tell you the diagnosis




if you listen even more carefully


they


will tell


you


the treatment”




the last doctor to say this publically  (dr. david derry - canada)


was deregistered





medicine is increasingly bedevilled by stupidity and fancy machines and tests only somewhat take up the slack
















bukowski has


taught me


to read keats


again


its


sorta


surprising


but actually


they


are very


similar
















humans


are


the machinery


of


procreation
















on charles bukowski's tombstone


“don't try”
















donna willams


has become


a spaced out


brain


fart


just shows


what diabetes


does


to the brain
















kitsch


is


humanities


natural


level
















you can't beat the flow, one has to just go with it and steer
















sometimes


i think


what


i say


is


like a


diamond


dropped


into


an ants nest


they will


look


at


it


and


remove it


as


being


of


no


value

















if


you


look


at what


is


eternal


it devalues


what


humans


value




and


this


is resented

















the central problem


of taking constructs


for


native reality




of course


native reality


is


also


a construct
















nuts


more nuts


raving schizophrenics


psychotics


con artists


the seedy


twits


the ungrateful


the slack


the lame


the just plain stupid



humanity
















the stars


are


my


solace
















a comatose of thinking
















the inauthentic


can't expect


to crap on


without


the


spirit


of


the


authentic


pulling


them


up
















men have


no idea


about


women


attila


the hun


in a dress
















poetry


is


a natural facility


of


the


brain


that


can be developed


its there


and can help you


why welter in the human


mire


of stupidity


for


want of a little effort?




we


only come


this way once
















if theres one thing


i really


loathe


its all these single people


who will never have any kids


and


get things so wrong


and will spend thier lives


obstructing


those


with any understanding




your life is meaningless


in


terms


of conventional values


and all


you can


do is


spoil


things
















schizophrenia breeds better than sanity
















dangerous monster i am foaming with reality at my mouth and SO negative on spacy fantasy!


just get rid of him


our motto is better to die than think


better smarmy fake politeness than real dealing


the usual female dilemma actually
















what


i have


learnt


about women


is they still


can't think


straight


even


when


they need to
















this business


of fellow traveller


is


quite


a powerful


way of thinking


who


is


a


fellow


traveller?




shared childhood experience carries a while


and so does genetics


but ultimately


you have to


be doing


some of the


same


things
















to


travel


in


time


just read
















you have


no control


over


women


they have their


own


agenda


and move


in


their


own


time
















with


women


you have


to


be


so skilled


just


to


get up


safely


in


the


morning
















behavior


is


genetic


programming


specific


as


body


and


organs
















lying is


not


wrong



its


occasionally


necessary
















both napoleon


and hitler


made


the


same mistake




napoleon by


not


offering


the serfs


their freedom


and


masters


estates




hitler


by


not


directly


going for


moscow


and


the


communist


rulers




a lack of


centrality


to addressing


the


vulnerability




two


very


prominent


achilles


heels

















charlotte


you


are


pursuing


an


illusion




and


don't


give


me


a


fake


zen reply
















we can be right


not through


any virtue


of


thinking things


through


but from


ones


personality


and the


way


one


reacts


and


behaves


forcing


the


issue


or


catalysing


a


situation
















the basic zen


model


of transmission


of understanding


from


person


to


person


is wrong




hence


any notion


of


disciples


or


dharma


heirs


is


wrong




in terms


of


buddhism




buddha nature


is


what


certifies




and


thats


all




bunch of


frauds


blowing


bubbles
















i


give


myself


too completely


to


one


thing


or


another


and


then can't


remember


the thing


i switched


from
















love


has


its limitations


and


ungovernable


measure
















nothing


is


not


some


empty


dead


quality


as it is


imagined


but dynamic


and full


of energy
















in


the


face


of


all


eternity


what


i write


means


nothing
















first its the flies


then its


the


swallows


get


out


of


the


house!
















love and emotion


is a machinery
















you're a funny person


an interesting mix


of sophistication


and


a


lack


of


sophistication
















its


better


to


be a bit


catabolic


as


you get


older
















the net


is not


particulary


a sane medium


there's


so


many crazies
















when you


tell


people


what


they


need


to hear


with


any facility


that is


so


they


understand


well


that


is


trouble
















just because you can read


doesn't


mean


you


understand
















just another stupid vagina
















what is life


what is death


who is


beth


inane ramblings


by


an


idiot
















i am


as


much


of


the night


as


the day
















its funny having


memory


its like you


are


the only one


who


knows


how


things


occurred
















stunned mullet syndrome


the position of men


after


they


are


told


its over
















yeah, left and right hand not talking to each other
















there is a momentary union of ourselves and memory with infinity


if too many people found it the world would cease


people actually do have contact with it in their lives, its just they dont remember or are unable to understand it


or reject because it doesn't fit
















sometimes it really scares me how our love has brought so much vision to me 
















eileen on composing her poem  (untitled 371):



gosh thanx andrew it came into my head while i was doing some washing so i ran here  (to the computer ed.)  but it was slipping away


thats a weird feeling when there is a poem or something that starts to come out but is elusive as u see it it vanishes




andrew:



came from infinity and goes back


we have to go into quite a different space to see it and it doesn't last long




eileen:



yeah its like a rainbow


i've noticed i seem to have 2 different types of poem that come in 1 when im daydreaming the other if im analysing life etc


the first bit just jumped into my head it was so weird


i sang it sing song to myself
















a little snake waring chant




da da dee dee dee


snakes can hear


can you hear me?
















she's too fat


he's too thin


nothing


is


ever


right
















the poets


lot


seems to


be


poverty


poor health


rejection


being ignored


i


could


go


on
















poems


are


relatively


objective


that is


they are not


just owned


by the poet


in terms


of the interpretation


and all


sorts


of


things
















when


we


praise


another


who are we


praising


and


why?
















i think


math


and poetry


are very similar


they


are just


a notation


for


remembering


something
















a way


to think


about jesus


is


was


he


perfect?
















when the going


gets rough


the


soft


fade
















the fundamental fact of life


is cruelty


fortunately


for


most people


they are


not


visited


with


its


extremes


but some


are
















well its an autistic thing, writing can be as real as real life to those on spectrum
















its important for teenage and young women not to go


into an intense relationship that is more appropriate to settling down together


there's really about 4 years and longer


of playing the field with several boyfriends before that should happen


it is an actual developmental stage that has to be gone through


and why so many over-young marriages or cohabitations


break up


or rears its head


as infidelity


later in


life
















i deleted two posts


bit funny rambling on


talking to myself


i posted some stuff about reading t2 t3 tsh


and it all came back to me


posting on thyroid boards


how hopeless it all was


didn't matter how right i was and how wrong the doctor was


they only wanted to hear the doctor




and the time i wasted ................
















one of life's little ironies


childless


i would have made a good father
















“love is a dog from hell”


i never


expected


to be


so taken


by this


particular dog


and


so mangled


by it
















fame


some are sceptical


others


not


sceptical


enough


me


i'm


about right
















i have no


control


over


what i write


i can't select


out


stuff


and it


remain


coherent
















i am feeling


so bruised


by the


whole business


that i can walk away


from


it


i can't


walk


away


from you


but if


you walk away


i can


walk


away
















flies are smart


they know


the difference


between flailing arms


and


a swatter


with flailing arms


they are unperturbed


a couple of near misses with a swatter and they


are off
















if i have a strength


its having


learnt to carry


something through


until its complete


in


its


own terms


i


let


that


carry


me

















that comment about work


was sorta philosophic


and about


how attention gets fragmented


in part
















one of karl marx's sons


was quite autistic


died young

















karl marx


was indebted to


schopenhauer


for his fundamental


insight


about the demeaning nature of work


and the poverty


it induces
















the utility of the first years of primary school


that is


learning


to


read


and


write


is


what


carries


the rest


of


the


whole


atrocious


system
















wisdom is always violent
















men are basically


a management problem


to


women
















charles bukowski


is sorta like


opeming up the garage door


and finding yourself


looking down


an


artillery


gun!
















why would you


sit through


the horror


that


is education


unless


you were


clinically


depressed?
















sometimes the impossible


can


be done


just persist


when


it seems


most hopeless
















a lot of nutrition advice comes from rat and mice studies


if you reversed it and fed humans mouse chow and they became ill


would you advise mice not to eat mouse chow?
















as you start to get more correct


you will conflict more


with


the


received wisdom
















the whole secret is to not be a know all and expend your energy not in telling people how things are, but learning and progressing


if i am critical of the american education system and education in general its because it makes robots
















false beliefs


may seem


harmless



but they


are


the


stepping


stones


to craziness
















schooling shows


how depressed


the human species


is


kids


literally


waiting


to


die

















we live in a cultural sewer


and perfume


the turds


that


float


by
















one thing i have really learnt about life


is emotions don't always steer


us in the right direction


sometimes it just pays


to swallow your pride


and go with the flow
















don't help an enemy


become


more compedent
















what i find interesting is any amount of entertainment fantasy like mills and boon, science fiction, oprah, movies in general, music, britney spears


all just turgid low level bullshit


is wonderful


and the moment you get real


it's wrong
















you have a narrow soul, don't be part of the  crowd


the injured have the greatest potential for broadness


and demonstrate it least
















women can act as “spoilers”


just as much as men
















in the  “three billy goats buff”  story, the troll must have been a young one because the youngest goat was the best eating
















if you want replies, be nice and take a few first steps yourself into the subject matter so the replier doesn't have to go so far to meet you
















there can


be


several


roads


in


the same


direction
















women are an interesting combination


of fragility


and ruthlessness
















things exist


or they don't exist


i think


that


implies


time
















what i am writing


itself


breaks down
















thats the secret with old people, they are just like repeating records with no short term memory


harmless in some ways
















women are hypersexual
















empty space is a form of object


so i am not sure how meaningful


the three dimensions are
















the basic human condition is schizophrenic


so sanity always hurts
















there's those that talk about things


and there's those that do things
















verbal language


is


more


powerful


than


mathematics
















i am


slowly


removing


from


trying


to educate


people
















the problem with women


is they


expect


a satisfactory


sex


life
















emotions


are


robots
















stephen king is a good writer


but he is too careless of mechanisms


for what he proposes



any sort of synchronicity with physics


a general weakness of the horror genre

















john keats's  “ode on a grecian urn”


is like a gift


to an undeserving world


for which


he


paid


a price