his grandmother who raised him kept him completely out of the sun as a child
whenever i read this i cry
“ it was a bright, quiet, garden without striking features.
like a rosary rubbed between the hands, the shrilling of cicadas held sway
there was no other sound. the garden was empty. he had come, thought honda, to a place that had no memories, nothing.
the noontide sun of summer flowed over the still garden. ”
imo he was quite schizophrenic and had various worsening health/ageing/autistic issues and the convolutions of his suicide where simply a machination to enable him to leave.