disappointments
waiting
to
happen
no
situation
ever
parallels
our
prevision
of
it
i
was
so
pissed
off
with
the
whole
thing
i
threw
it
into
the
corner
!
dis-solve
into
you
is
it
possible
to
love
someone
intensely
and
yet
dislike
them
a
lot
at
the
same
time ?
i
think
so
the
bloated
sickly
moon
smiled
down
i
feel
like
death
does
he
feel
like
me
joy
has
gone
out
like
a
candle
flame
snuffed
by
one
blow
leaving
darkness
our
sexual
nature
so
completely
at
odds
with
our
intellect
all
i
have
to
do
to
see
tragedy
is
look
down
my
lane
cancer
infidelity
alcoholism
blindfaith
and
slow
demented
death
turning
inward
they
are
all
there
what
a
sad
old
bitch
she
is
look
at
her
now
straggling
hair
hung
over
her
brow
tears
trickling
down
lines
etched
in
her
face
wouldn't
you
think
she'd
have
more
grace
wailing
at
mirror
and
lover
alike
far
better
to
tell
him
to
his
bike ”
a sunbeam thro black skies
we've
run
through
all
our
possibilities
come
back
full
circle
as
much
the
same
as
differant
spirals
within
spirals
trying
to
hold
on
to
what
was
never
grasped
of
pure
imagination
dissipating
like
a
mist
so
wraith
like
was
her
lover
he
barely
left
her
kissed
pale
snail like
emerging
into
sun
be-dazzled
frazzled
now
on
the
backward
run
back
into
that
hollow
space
that
room
for
only
one
place
where
it
all
begun
it's
interesting
insightful
actually
what
things
of
imagination
you
choose
to
keep
and
which
you
choose
to
throw
away
a
farce
if
you
don't
feel
and
a
tragedy
if
you
do !
i
favour
not
feeling !
cannot
separate
farce
from
tragedy
a
lot
of
tragedy
is
farcical
and
farce
quite
tragic
another's
tragedy
and
grief
might
appear
romantic
echoed
in
their
eyes
the
reality
of
one's
own
is
gut
wrenching
and
ugly
not
romantic
at
all
unless
viewed
on
the
outside
and
non
involving
of
self
i
saw
it
all
ordained
the
tearing
up
of
this
love
so
stained
already
ragged
now
too
care
worn
how
else
could
i
end
up
but
forlorn
alice
thro
the
looking
glass
might
very
well
be
me
and
when
i
lived
in
wonderland
i
cried
a
million
seas
think
ill
give
up
men
and
take
up
poetry
with
it
i'll
learn
to
fly
no
empty
receptical !
rather
a
cut
glass
vase
full
of
flowers
me
sun
and
showers
cycled
thro
the
flowers
in
my
garden
with
out
so
much
as
a
by
your
leave
or
even
your
pardon ”
shouting
doesn't
make
truth
of
a
lie
give
up
your
quest
yon
knight
it
is
to
no
avail
the
dragon
is
the
girl
you
seek
the
girl
an
un
true
tale
no
longer
blinkered
i
see
my
companion
in
sanity
apathy
blindness
and
death
spider
webs
and
dust !
far
from
the
days
filled
with
passion “not lust”
now
this
not
new
marriage
a
broken
wheeled
carriage
is
empty
of
all
except
at
the
backs
of
tall
houses
the
allotments
stood
on
a
stretch
of
waste
ground
in
tangled
scrubby
wood
scruffy
plots
of
of
cabbage
stumps
and
waterlogged
weeds
surrounded
by
low
railings
not
serving
any
needs
a
pale
moon
casts
a
thin
cold
radiance
i'm
not
stupid
he's
not
subtle
only
in
his
wildest
dreams
could
i
believe
in
his
rebuttal
it's
not
a
matter
of
choosing
to
be
with
a
wanker
or
not
it's
choosing
which
wanker
Hmm...
it
is
a
matter
of
choosing
to
be
with
a
wanker
or
not
no
one
believes
in
his
lies
as
whole
heartedly
as
the
liar
Himself
tho
there
is
an
occasional
repressed
recognition
of
the
underlying
reality
stay
can't
walk
away
how
will
it
end
this
tragi
comic
play
stay
can't
walk
away
there
is
no
end
to
this
tragi
comic
play
breath
plumes
in
the
frigid
light
of
dawn
silver
birch
solitary
silent
sentinal
stands
a
wraith
pale
moon
looks
down
silver
birch
silent
sentinel
stands
alone
wraith
pale
moon
looks
down
a
full
moon
bright
on
a
bone
cold
night
pleasure
and
rhythm
are
out
of
my
grasp
reassurance
is
nowhere
to
be
found
you've
always
been
an
unusual
creature
lover
hunter
poet
and
preacher
amoeba
seaslug
mud
skipper
ape
rip
van
winkle
not
quite
awake
three
inches
high
yet
ten
feet
tall
oh
the
ways
i
love
you
all
a
sweet
melancolia
now
fills
my
evening
air
why
could
i
not
clearly
see
what
was
always
there
i
saw
everything
in
the
garden
that
day
and
it
set
me
free
i
put
her
away
from
me
the
child
who
refused
to
see
what
my
life
was
meant
to
be
no
longer
her
i
am
now
me
as
certainties
fell
into
place
i
felt
upon
me
settled
grace
as
your
words
fell
into
place
i
felt
the
spell
fall
from
my
face
hoo
i
lost
2
day
dreaming
about
u
;o)
my
mind
as
boundless
as
my
body
bound
our
love
be
midnight
blue
as
rare
as
tis'
true
some
things
fell
into
place
while
working
in
my
garden
there
is
no
need
for
futile
tears
nor
for
my
heart
to
harden
sometimes
i
lose
sight
of
us
but
it
always
comes
back
we
were
meant
for
each
other
because
there
is
no
one
else
by
sunshine
and
sudden
thought
bent
over
in
my
garden
those
words
you
spoke
on
your
birthing
day
my
leaden
heart
ne'r
hardens
air
full
of
song
and
clear
blue
sky
perfumed
flowers
like
my
spirits
die
cs lewis
on
a
sunny
day
no
longer
reminds
me
of
childhood
play
are
so
special
and
unique
they
horrify
me !
are
so
limited
borish
and
predictable
i
still
find
that
hard
to
digest
used
to
use
leeches
to
bleed
their
patients
now
they
are
leeches
that
bleed
their
bank
accounts
gather
poignancy
like
dust
whispering
green
tinkling
stream
wet
velvet
leaves
nod
in
the
breeze
water
ripples
gently
over
rounded
mottled
stones
brown
and
amber
ochre
yellow
wind
chimes
crystals
winked
in
the
sun
like
a
handful
of
diamonds
thrown
up
suspended
in
space
never
love
an
adolescent
male
they're
cruel
and
hurtful
things
take
great
delight
in
causing
pain
and
pulling
off
love's
wings
what
streak
of
madness
does
it
take
what
kind
of
creature
does
that
make
spite
mixed
in
with
tar
black
despair
a
broken
child
left
standing
there
to
hurt
me
so
on
today
of
all
days
you
took
delight
in
your
own
little
way
to
bring
you
gifts
i
spent
my
time
you
trashed
my
feelings
oh
so
fine
oh
callow
youth
you
callous
prick
thorn in my side
why
do
you
smell
as a rose
unto
me
while
your
rotting core
blackens
all
you touch
misty
sun
shone
on
dappled
silver
bark
tiny
new
leaves
made
an
answering
shadow
on
emerald
grass
the
first
mild
sunshine
of
spring
brings
a
frisson
of
excitement
and
promise