eileen's poem collation number XV of the  index











   curb in the sky  is very funny imo


the differance between men and women Lol


she reminds me of me


and the males aversions are typical of males who cannot stand to be corrected by females


i can see being constantly disagreed with is wearing Lol


johan always disagrees with my perspective too it's wearing


andrew's  comment


well irl there should be adaption by both parties


eileen  replies


yeah just thinking that myself


not always easy to do


depending on mood viral state and health i suppose as well as how one relates to each other


one of the sad aspects of my parents relationship is they constantly disagree


on things they should let go


as long as i can remember they've done that


only now they're almost dead are they at peace









































Unusual name...


His poems about love are a bit maudlin but I like some of his others, like most poets he's a mix of good and bad, what a short life, if not from a brain tumour he may have suicided he was not a happy man...


Song  by  Trumbull Stickney,  1874-1904


A bud has burst on the upper bough

(The linnet sang in my heart today);

I know where the pale green grasses show

By a tiny runnel, off the way,

And the earth is wet.

(A cuckoo said in my brain: “Not yet.”)



I nabbed the fly in a briar rose

(The linnet to-day in my heart did sing);

Last night, my head tucked under my wing,

I dreamed of a green moon-moth that glows

Thro’ ferns of June.

(A cuckoo said in my brain: “So soon?”)



Good-bye, for the pretty leaves are down

(The linnet sang in my heart today);

The last gold bit of upland’s mown,

And most of summer has blown away

Thro’ the garden gate.

(A cuckoo said in my brain: “Too late”)









































ceilings r wot we are


nothing more we kid ourselves


u know that despite wot u nwrite


which is to urself anyway


altho u don't listen


u have the best advice and u don't take notice except in passing as do i and all autistics we're frozen like those live art statues
































ceilings r wot we are


nothing more we kid ourselves


u know that despite wot u nwrite


which is to urself anyway


altho u don't listen


u have the best advice and u don't take notice except in passing as do i and all autistics we're frozen like those live art statues
































ceilings r wot we are









































LONG GONE


so you finally get to have her

on her deathbed

how perfect

would you orgasm as much

over me

on mine

of course not

that's too real

you'd run away

as you already have
































LONG GONE


so you finally get to have her

on her deathbed

how perfect

would you orgasm as much

over me

on mine

of course not

that's too real

you'd run away

as you already have



don't bother to answer it's too late


it's over


not because of her


i'd like to see u one more time at least then ur free to go home


without me
































LONG GONE


so you finally get to have her

on her deathbed

how perfect

would you orgasm as much

over me

on mine

of course not

that's too real

you'd run away

as you already have









































EMPTY



grey dawn

the mysteries of morning

shot with rays from the rising sun

white crested waves break

and foam on the shore

strength gone

they recede

lone sandcastle slumps

































EMPTY



grey dawn

the mysteries of morning

shot with rays from the rising sun

white crested waves break

and foam on the shore

strength gone

they recede

lone sandcastle slumps









































AND HOW WE LEARN


i'm pushing myself

into that space

the one between

death re construction

wafer thin

razor sharp

all done in


































AND HOW WE LEARN


i'm pushing myself

into that space

the one between

death re construction

wafer thin

razor sharp

all done in









































This is what it feels like


we spend our lives

standing still

and even the dead

stay dead









































disarray


has more in it


than perfection



























disarray


has more in it


than perfection





































writing is a blood sport


i hunt myself

and eviserated

 bleed words onto the page

































blood sport


i hunt myself

and eviserated

 bleed words onto the page








































CLIFF TOP


on the horizon

moon silvered clouds

float across the surface of the sea

like wind blown veils

at home

the silence orchestral





























CLIFF TOP


on the horizon

moon silvered clouds

float across the surface of the sea

like wind blown veils

at home

the silence orchestral









































AUTUMN MUSE



got the first wasp inside tonight

from the firewood

moths fluttering death in brown velvet at moonlit windows

later greet the dawn in condensation



the windows and the moth corpses wet with condensation
myself a sour state


our state at dawn anyway Lol


after velvet battered deaths


and distant moon


autumn moths u know the ones large against the windows  (ed. corby moths)
































AUTUMN MUSE



got the first wasp inside tonight

from the firewood

moths fluttering death in brown velvet at moonlit windows

later greet the dawn in condensation



i wanted the last line to mean the windows the moths and i greeted the dawn in condensation


the windows and moths wet me cynical


was feeling cynical about life and aging


all kinda wrapped in the turning of the season and death of the moths and facing dawn feeling jaded


wrote it this morn after it occured last night and this morn if u know wot i mean


wasp was dying too altho it didn't know or maybe it did trying to get out same said window moths and moon and condensation were trying to get in before dying with the dawn Lol


and i was musing how futile but ok it all is/was : o|
































AUTUMN MUSE



got the first wasp inside tonight

from the firewood

moths fluttering death in brown velvet at moonlit windows

later greet the dawn in condensation









































Love is not

the burning storm

it once was

a light

flickering

in the distance

extinguished by

times indifference

only

beyond lies

the chance

of quiet space































Love is not

the burning storm

it once was

a light

flickering

in the distance

extinguished by

times indifference

only

beyond lies

the chance

of quiet space









































hey guess wot i've just done


hand fed a possum and it was my first one


it was in my golden elm


came right to my feet


it was large


i was nervous Lol


it was amazing only a foot? away sniffing each other exchanging food/smells....


big ginger with black tail


u know the type


probably male? it was a bit aggressive


anyway the possum and i were circling around each other sniffing Lol it was funny/surreal


and it


then it ran up the golden elm after taking an apple


from my hand


it did stop sniff and stay for awhile it was rather amazing


my first actually


with a possum like that


feel a bit glowing Lol


andrew's  comment


wow, a close encounter of a furry kind


my  reply


it is that


was SO surprised


think it was a he


big ginger black tailed


such a big beautiful ginger black tailed possum


andrew's  comment


  an experience like that is special, it can take a few days to process !









































commit this to memory kiddo



Yehudi menuin

playing loud in the background

your leaving home

my darling

20 and 12

all at once

he had you

I've had him

we roll on



my  comment


was thinking about men and lessons for amber believe it or not altho the poem probably doesn't show that


andrew's  reply


yesh it does, packs quite alot in, yet simple to read !


my  reply


wrote it when she was moving to lonnie


doesnt really make sense to anyone else probably


andrew's  reply


it's abstract, makes a number of senses


my  comment


i was in that abstract state of mind


doing stuff on the comp and half daydreaming too


----------


that's the funny thing about poems they just roll thro wether u like them or not Lol


sometimes they surprise me


i guess it's the brain working away without consulting our consious

































commit this to memory kiddo



Yehudi menuin

playing loud in the background

your leaving home

my darling

20 and 12

all at once

he had you

I've had him

we roll on






































The moon &  i



full moon glowers

through a vent in the storm

fickle sleep comes

and goes as she pleases

we rise

to a bruised and bleeding dawn

both victim

to the black cloud



was one of those purple and red sunrises after a full moon sleepless edge of a storm night Lol



































The moon &  i



full moon glowers

through a vent in the storm

fickle sleep comes

and goes as she pleases

we rise

to a bruised and bleeding dawn

both victim

to the black cloud



was one of those purple and red sunrises after a full moon sleepless edge of a storm night Lol









































do animals wonder


death has no beauty

it is null and void

vacant

as is life

life is ugly actually

death is void

there is a beauty in non existance maybe

or no awareness of it

like a tree?

maybe

who knows if a tree is aware

or animals

well they are but

maybe not fraught

wondering the importance of existance

or non

do u ever wonder

if they do

i do

often

wonder

whenever i see documentries
































death has no beauty it is null and void


vacant


as is life


life is ugly actually death is void


i can c wot u  say  also if depressed about living


as i often am


there is a beauty in non existance maybe


or no awareness of it


like a tree?


maybe


who knows if a tree is aware


or animals


well they are but


maybe not fraught


wondering the importance of


or not


do u ever wonder if they do


i do often


whenever i see documentaries
































death has no beauty it is null and void


vacant


as is life


life is ugly actually death is void


i can c wot u  say  also if depressed about living


as i often am


there is a beauty in non existance maybe


or no awareness of it


like a tree?


maybe


who knows if a tree is aware


or animals


well they are but


maybe not fraught


wondering the importance of


or not


do u ever wonder if they do


i do often


whenever i see docos









































Cottage Garden



Spring sunshine's loving glance

lights a repondant glow

in all things young

but she is not so kind

to the old

where man has been

exuberant nature is evidenced

in decline and decay

riotous hedgerows

unpruned trees

lank lawns

while nature prepares

to don Easter finery

the best you'll get from man

is shabby genteel



Thinking of spring as autumn closes in, never do catch up with all the pruning...;o)


ed.  repeated from untitled714









































Twinnings in the face of it



plaster has fallen away

from fronts of buildings

laid bare

the brickwork underneath

like skeleton without flesh

jawbone & bared teeth

where cheek has been ripped away

death visits

and takes tea









































“ the  dome  of the florence cathedral, designed and built by filippo brunelleschi , over 4 million bricks :o) ”


Twinnings in the face of it



plaster has fallen away

from fronts of buildings

laid bare

the brickwork underneath

like skeleton without flesh

jawbone & bared teeth

where cheek has been ripped away

death visits

and takes tea



for some reason this came when i read ur homily about the dome of the florence cathedral


it got me thinking about human endeavours re large buildings









































real to reel



we all do i guess we AS

too stretched ribbons

we are

a tape unravelled and

all out of shape

played backwards

we hold a differant message
























real to reel



we all do i guess we AS

too stretched ribbons

we are

a tape unravelled and

all out of shape

played backwards

we hold a differant message



just popped in


thinking of us as reel to reel tapes for some reason

like my father used to play



actually the reason i thought of us as reel to reels was i used to play with one my father made for my bro and me

i used to tape things over other things

music and words

for some reason thinking about us made me realize we are like those tapes

we can never unravel altho we are unraveled

unravel all we tape

while wot we tape is unraveled

when we lived in tobruk



if that makes any sense Lol not that it matters

































   

andrew  writes


just looked at the david helgoff video  playing  the flight of the bumble bee


eileen  replies


oh ok

a lot of bods think he's too weird

just terribly autistic



andrew replies


yeah, torettes too


eileen says


they say his wife uses him

i think she saved him in a way



andrew replies


yeah


eileen replies


maybe both

which isn't so bad



andrew says


he'd be too vulnerable by himself


eileen says


yeah


i like his playing



andrew says


as it was he got electro convulsive therapy which was crazy


eileen says


that actually was not the best choise

yeah as usual

so many as burnt by that as mad ish

As

mistaken for crazy



andrew replies


yeah


eileen prunster says


autism


better to stay under the radar if u can

some can't

the most gifted don't



andrew says


generally it's the rellies that sacrifice them up


eileen says


for sure all rather sad

life

  suppose uv got ur rellies too and i won't name u even tho i feel....

no offence to yours



we all do i guess we AS

too stretched ribbons

we are

a tape unravelled and

all out of shape

played backwards

we hold a differant message



just popped in  (ed. the poem that starts just 7 lines above)


thinking of us as reel to reel tapes for some reason

like my father used to play



actually the reason i thought of us as reel to reels was i used to play with one my father made for my bro and me

i used to tape things over other things

music and words

for some reason thinking about us made me realize we are like those tapes

we can never unravel altho we are unraveled

unravel all we tape

while wot we tape is unraveled

when we lived in tobruk



if that makes any sense Lol not that it matters


thanx for not dissing wot i try to explain

about myself



ed. As or AS are acronyms for autistic spectrum which is alittle hard to say actually what it is, perhaps a palette of autism?









































some people will understand



BLISS

a hairs

breadth

away

from

not

breathing




















BLISS


a hairs

breadth

away

from

not

breathing




















BLISS


a hairs

breadth

away

from

not

breathing




















BLISSFUL STATE


a hairs

breadth

away

from

not

breathing



was thinking how pushing myself with my two given up bad habits made me feel




















BLISSFUL STATE


a hairs

breadth

away

from

not

breathing



was thinking how pushing myself with my two given up bad habits made me feel









































go away


men of over 50

of erectile

dysfunction

all performance

without

gumption









































Lol


men of over 50

of erectile

dysfunction

all performance

without

gumption



i'm letting off steam that's all


laughing at myself and they









































it's all part of female survival to sniff out a rival









































it's all part of survival to sniff out a rival









































i don't like being female it isn't nice

don't want to be male either lol that's not pretty

human isn't

yeah we do

i hate getting old as a woman it's cruel

men really go off u

and are not kind about it

dull  grey

while toxic little girls sparkle like tinsel

and old women whine



andrew's reply


well it's all a cycle, so shiny tinsel becomes bedraggled, same for men


my reply


yeah but men don't see that they just keep focusing on tinsel

don't like bedraggled and don't see themselves

they don't get reminded by women as a matter of course

unless they've hurt their old grey woman

men seem to feel it a duty to point out

i dont know why









































safe trade


Once apon a time

i thought i loved you

now i'm not so sure

was it love that kept me faithful

or desire

to be

   safe...





































safe trade


Once apon a time

i thought i loved you

now im not so sure

was it love that kept me faithful

or desire

to be

safe...









































interesting how we can intellectualize that but not take it on board personally like most things









































stupid men


not the only blind, women don't like men actually Lol but it takes 3 decades to see them









































on writing


sometimes a poem when it comes the words sort of pile on top of each other

and it's not certain completely which comes first

if that makes sense

not often but occasionally

i guess u have to write it down and see wot happens



this  one  was sorta like that

it was kind of forming in a slow way as i was almost thinking on another level at the same time but looking on

you've probably had that sometimes



andrew  replies


yeah, in hindsight you can see something was forming



my  reply


almost like tuning into a radio signal and u sort of keep still and try not to think conciously

yeah

weird isn't it

i love those moments tho



andrew  replies


yeah when you hit the station it's a switching through infinity and back


my  reply


yeah


andrew  replies


always associated with injury and hurt


my  reply


and we're merely the receiver Lol

yes that's true









































you're still the only one i see


I feel I am a faithless lover

for I have strayed

not to another

but further than either imagined I would

from you









































your still the only one i see


I feel I am a faithless lover

for I have strayed

not to another

but further than either imagined I would

from you









































INSIDE  OUTSIDE  INSIDEOUT


skin

a sheen of sweat

cries ring out

sheets

all tangled agony

vomit foetid air

contract

cryout

subside

a birthing

no pink and downy babe is this

a clot mucus

a jellied mass

a river of blood and tears

a termination

of what wasn't quite

a tractor passes feeding out

calves for the slaughter

the sun shines

birds sing

all oblivious of anything

a death and life goes on









































theusualunhappybirthday


nobody wished me

  “ happy birthday ”

nobody wished me anything

nobody wanted

to know my wishes

nobody halted their own din







kimmi just told me its ben's birthday

and he's not happy and that popped in Lol


i was thinking of my birthdays









































OLD  HANDS


we dice

and hold the upper hand

with fortunes won hard but

life is a dog and we are curs

with fates befit a mutt







silly ditty

weird a poem started to form and only part formed
then the dog stuff arrived

the brain is a strange creature

even experiancing it working independantly can feel weird
like an observer of what we are not

if that makes sense and im sure u of all people
understand wot i'm trying to say



andrew replies


yeah that's more the whole brain working



my reply


ok


bit facinating isn't it



andrew replies


yeah, a lot of power in the whole brain



my reply


i often feel like an observer of my poems forming









































i love the look of the mountains

snow covered

valleys

fiords

looks surreal to me



( ed. on the new zealand south island )









































hi


i know i haven't written for so long

and also that this explanation isn't neccessary

i know instinctively you understand completely without one

that i can just come back and it will be as if i never left

rude friend i can be because

we are we

i've missed you



( ed. on my returning to  hello poetry  after a one month hiatus : o )









































hi


i know i haven't written for so long

and also that this explanation isn't neccessary

i know instinctively you understand completely without one

that i can just come back and it will be as if i never left

rude friend i can be because

we are we

i've missed you









































nonsense rhyme


why give voice

to nonsense words like

normal

average

love

and truth

none

of which

are any use









































greeting card


the bride of frankenstein

that's me

no gentle love

will do

miss shapen

miss taken

always

miss ingyou









































WORDS


spear

lodge

lumps of metal

aching



























WORDS


spear

lodge

lumps of metal

aching









































abstract


ah my love

it was not you

but it was i that were untrue

i took our poem

tore us apart

compared old love

to this new heart

why do i cry

this is wot's meant

i am too old

there's no content









































Why do i


i wrote you a love poem

it came straight from my heart

i wish i hadn't given it

cos now we're at the part

where instead of showing pleasure

or giving me a kiss

you say that it's a good one

might well be a laundry list







andrew replies


well i didn't have a reply that was really up to your   poem 
I have snow white scented lillies blooming

golden rods within

your fragrance i imagine

your skin

   at all, like the poem said so much i couldn't really add to it

things change when you get very good at something like those poems, sorta makes people reflect

even me : o )









































A short note


I have snow white scented lilies blooming

golden rods within

your fragrance i imagine

your skin









































no way


and as for teaching others

you can only tell them truths

as they occur









































perfume


was a bit hot in somerset today

i sweat

cool breeze off the beach

into the shop

it rains

flowers bloom

men sigh

i cry









































us


red pulses

heartbeat

where have i been

you

in my veins surge

on re discovering

no hope

we lie

dying









































catching up and thankyou


I've missed so many poems

time flew while i was gone

come back and look at what is here

where do i begin

i want to answer comments

reply to all the poems

tell the folks ive missed you all

and thanks for hanging in

despite me going missing

without much of a word

you've stayed and let me know

my absence not absurd

so thank you all for staying

and reading what i've wrote

i hope you understand i care

just by this little note






wanted to thank everyone for responding to my poems posted recently despite me dropping off and not replying or responding to anyone else lately, you're a great bunch of artistic, perceptive people and it really means a lot to me....Thankyou all... Xx









































WATCHING  BALLOONS


the world removed

a child's world

idyllically drifting with the wind

sloughing off dreary earthbound millstones

free and rising with intense delight









































WATCHING  BALLOONS


the world removed

a child's world

idyllically drifting with the wind

sloughing off dreary earthbound millstones

free and rising with intense delight









































and it's too late


i

don't

want

to

go

now









































turvy topsy


god we're a pair of fucked up kids

ugly yet so beautiful

why are we here

old while so young

we will live forever









































turvy topsy


god we're a pair of fucked up kids

ugly yet so beautiful

why are we here

old while so young

we will live forever









































can't say


been a bit

frozen

speechless

paralysed

couldn't see myself

in my own eyes

where did i go









































choises


do me a favour

while i'm here

keep your crush

tucked in your pants

if you want this thing

to go forward

not end

in the same old dance









































gathering dust


old lover holds my heart

with casual hands

sometimes tossed

often fumbled

a hacky sack

kicked into a corner









































gathering dust


old lover holds my heart

with casual hands

sometimes tossed

often fumbled

a hacky sack

kicked into a corner













































no faith


visions

not auspicious

just ordinary

everyday

life

death

lessons

learnt

in retro

seeing

doesn't make

believing













































no faith


visions

not auspicious

just ordinary

everyday

life

death

lessons

learnt

in retro

seeing

doesn't make

believing









































vision no lesson


  visions...

 are they that?

or is it your brain

teaching you what it's learned

while you weren't looking







wondering about visions of the future

that sometimes come like poems

and then eventuate









































vision no lesson


visions...

are they that?

or is it your brain

teaching you what it's learned

while you weren't looking







wondering about visions of the future

that sometimes come like poems

and then eventuate









































list


internal

eternal

eternal

internal

never

ending

struggle









































list


internal

eternal

eternal

internal

never

ending

struggle









































except you


unless alone

i am a goldfish in a bowl

everyone else

bumps up against the glass









































except you


unless alone

i am a goldfish in a bowl

everyone else

bumps up against the glass









































this is why


if you don't

feel pain

consistantly

 you lose memory of it
































this is why


if you don't

feel pain

consistantly

you lose memory of it









































christmas card


birds in flight

crystals falling

breathless silence frozen

sun explodes

dazzling light

wings shatter imploding



i wrote u a this poem on a christmas card then tore it up


was a response to your wings unfurl  poem


I had an image of birds in flight on high and a snow covered landscape under

snow time stilled silent

then the sun broke over the snow dazzling

the birds swooped low and the sound of wings broke the moment





love you 









































what the....


computers gone bananas

it's driving me insane

the pages scrolling up and down

then down and up again


replying to the poems

is taking me an age

I click onto the comment box

go to another page....:o(


so if I'm seeming tardy

please do not take offence

it isn't that I'm snubbing you

comps down is my defence







Having frustrating issues with my comp the last handful of days









































i love children's open minds


not jaded or judgmental

if u get them early enough


like flowers almost


until aged about 7 they are little jewels

like ur child's  poem









































i liked adults as a child

if they were patient

so much more to learn

without peer shit from other kids

altho some can be cruel

and not guard their tongues

about how differant u r

       i've had that happen like i'm deaf.....









































got home a few hours ago

been thinking of you since before you wrote

had a fun time at the market and lunch on ratty's river bank



serene

river chatters

filtered sun

argued after with amber

tensions high

always was so easy for us

love abounds

just as tense

why my poems

yours seduce






we were talking about motherhood

of teenage

and poems we like

and i wrote that a little while ago