i was sitting, doing nothing, and it started to rain, pouring down, thunder, wind  .  .  .  and i got up, walked outside and stood motionless in the storm.

I could feel the warmth of my tears and the cool of the rain trickle down my face.

The storm died eventually, as does everything   .  .  and that's all i have to say

hope all are dry and safe

jessica  xoxoxoxoxoxo

°       °       °       °       °       °       °       °       °

i dunno, really i don't.  I gotta write some stuff down, it's gotta get out of my head. 

Nothing is right.  I don't know what is though.  Dunno where i'm going or been.  Dunno where i should, could, wanna go.  I DUNNO WHERE I AM !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I gotta get me out of here  .  .  .  nowhere to go, no safeness.  I need to hide or a silence or something, not this.  Nothing matters, having trouble existing, can't think straight, so many thoughts ideas questions.

Screaming inside, constantly endlessly.

I could just run forever, gotta run far away enough, fast enough to get away.  OH how i need peace.  please please please .  It's all so intense and i don't even know what it is.

So intense, more than an everything problem, more than an everything, more than a problem, it's not nothing, it's not something  .  .  .  not a feeling, thing, word, thought.

Can't turn away, can't face it, can't listen, can't ignore embrace touch hear it.  No sense.  Nothing makes sense.  Everything i say is wrong, these words are wrong  .  .  .  so i'll go.


don't try and make sense of it all  -  it doesn't

i failed and i will be punished

i don't know where to go now, what i should do.  Nothing is as it should be  .  .  .   nothing

my  reply

 There is literally no  i ,  just swirling water that dimples into little pools  .  .  .