Clan Flaws

VENTRUE: Okay folks. We have another problem. The “kids” want to know how we tell each other apart....what makes us unique

TOREADOR: That's easy....we are all unique....special....beautiful in our own way, we--

BRUJAH: Shut the hell up. He means like what separates CLANS you panty waste.

MALK: Never waste panties....Too hard to find this time of year.

VENTRUE: Yes Brujah. What makes us....fit into a category? What makes us CLAN?

BRUJAH: yeah....just another way for the “man” to keep an eye on us.

MALK: What man?

BRUJAH: Shut up before I mash you kook.

VENTRUE: ~Sighs~

Any suggestions?

TOREADOR: Signature clothing?

TREMERE: Necklaces? Mystical pendants?

MALK: Cheese....Different cheeses assigned to each clan. There are different types to choose from you know.

BRUJAH: ~Looks to Nosferatu~

Yeah....lemme guess who Limburger is....

NOS: I heard that.

VENTRUE: I was thinking more along the lines....of a weakness.... a.... subtle flaw.

MALK: I call kryptonite!!!

BRUJAH: ~Smashes Malk on the head~

Must have a kryptonite fist. SHUT UP.

MALK: Unnrk....

VENTRUE: Okay....Brujah....yours will be your temper. For obvious reasons.

BRUJAH: TEMPER? WHAT TEMPER? ....fricking suits..... You'd be pissed to if you had to sit next to Nos and Malk.

VENTRUE: ~Coughs~

Torrie, since you love art....you will be known as the artist clan.

TOREADOR: Tragic....yet....beautiful. Agreed.

MALK: ~Small voice~ I still want kryptonite.

BRUJAH: ~SMACK~

Hehe. Temper....okay....cool.

MALK: Unnnggh.

NOS: ~Scratches his chin causing skin to flake off~

And my flaw?

VENTRUE: ~Shivers~

We'll get back to you. Gangrel. Yours will be.... every time you frenzy....you look more like an animal.

GANGREL: WHAT? What do you mean “You look more like an animal”??

VENTRUE: It starts off small....you know....fur....deep voice.... maybe horns....

GANGREL: WHAT??? Oh COME on....Torrie gets to moon over stupid drawings and I get a fricking BEAK? Yeah.... that's REAL fair....

~Grumbles into a growl~

ASSAMITE: And I?

TREMERE: You can't drink kindred blood....

~Laughs~

It's poison. Your hair falls out and you look like him.

~Points to Nos~

VENTRUE: Agreed.

NOS: Still waiting.

~Silence~

~MALK giggles~

ASSAMITE: Why does TREMERE get to pick my weakness?

TREMERE: Lump it pal.

VENTRUE: Tremere....if Assamite can't drink kindred blood.... then you have to drink from....all of your elders.

MALK: No one got kryptonite?

BRUJAH: ~BAP~

Temper....LOVE it.

VENTRUE: Lasombra....hmm......no reflection.

LASOMBRA: You should give THAT to Nos.....

NOS: Still waiting....

VENTRUE: ~coughs~

Be right with you Nos.... Is that acceptable Lasombra?

LASOMBRA: Yeah....but you guys have to tell me when I have something on my chin.

VENTRUE: No problem....Hmm....Tzimisce....Your weakness.... will be....

MALK: Having a clan name no one can say or spell?

VENTRUE: Yes. Err....No. ....You must sleep.... in your native soil.... or have some in your coffin....

GANGREL: WHAT???? I get WEBBED TOES and she has to sleep in DIRT??

TZIM: Agreed.

GANGREL: I want a new one.....

NOS: Still waiting..... Have you forgotten me?

VENTRUE: Moving right along.....Giovanni....Your kiss hurts.... no pleasure in

Your bite.

TOREADOR: You can say THAT again....

~Room looks to Torrie~

TOREADOR: Oh....sorry....was that out loud?

GIO: One off night....plagues you for your unlife....

VENTRUE: Ravnos. You are a criminal by nature.

RAVNOS: ~Gives back Ventrue's wallet~

Sorry.

VENTRUE: ~Blinks taking it~

Um....no. I meant....

~Shakes head~

Oookay. The money too....

RAVNOS: Oh....here....sorry.

NOS: When do I get one?

BRUJAH: ~Quietly~

At birth.....

~Stifled Laughter~

VENTRUE: Ahem....You over there....Setite....yours is....you don't like the light....

GANGREL: OH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!!! I get a set of BAT wings and he doesn't like bright lights???

MALK: Fly my little monkeys.....Fllllllyyyyyyy............

BRUJAH: ~Raises hand and Malk winces~

SET: ~Grins~

Agreed....fair and just.

~Winks~

GANGREL: He WINKED!! You two had A DEAL SET UP?? ....God DAMN snakes.....

NOS: If you continue ignoring me..... I will get UGLY.

MALK: Too late....

~Stifled laughter~

VENTRUE: Am I missing anyone?

MALK: Do I get kryptonite?

TZIM: You, little man, have ENOUGH problems....you don't need an additional flaw.

VENTRUE: Then it is settled....

NOS: You have forgotten yourself....and I.

BRUJAH: Yeah. Mr. Picky. What is YOUR flaw?

VENTRUE: ~Smiles~

I am picky....about....what I eat.....

GANGREL: ~Stands up throwing chair back~

I am LEAVING!!!

~Pointing around the room~

I get udders like a fucking COW and YOU get to sleep in DIRT? YOU are a fussy eater? YOU get to look at art....YOU....

~finger stops on Nos~

Okay....I guess it could be worse.

NOS: I get it. I am the unflawed clan.....gotcha.

BRUJAH: ~Laughs~

Yup....that's it....

VENTRUE: ~Coughs~

Meeting adjourned.

MALK: ~Leaving, very quietly singing~ You....oogly.... you oogly....and yer mama dresses you foooney....you oogly....you oogly....