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The Fine Print The really fine print (a.k.a. all
that fine print that's fine to print): Action figures sold separately.
All models over 18 years of age. List was current at time of printing.
Reader assumes full responsibility. Some equipment shown is optional. No
anchovies unless otherwise specified. Restaurant package, not for
resale. Batteries not included. Do not remove this disclaimer under
penalty of law. Objects behind screen appear closer than they are. If
any defects are discovered, do not attempt to read them yourself, but
return to an authorized service center. Read at your own risk. Parental
advisory - explicit lyrics. Text may contain explicit materials some
readers may find objectionable, parental guidance is advised. It is a
violation of Federal law to use this product in a manner inconsistent
with its labeling. May cause physical trauma, up to and including
agitation of prostate. This product is meant for educational purposes
only. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. List each check
separately by bank number. Contents may settle during shipment. Use only
as directed. No other warranty expressed or implied. Do not use while
operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Postage will be paid by
addressee. Subject to CAB approval. This is not an offer to sell
securities. Apply only to affected area. May be too intense for some
viewers. Only the absolute barest minimum of animals were harmed,
tortured, vivisected, or otherwise mutilated in the creation of these
pages. Products out of warranty will be repaired at our standard repair
charges. Do not stamp. Use other side for additional listings. For
recreational use only. Do not disturb. If condition persists, consult
your physician. No user-serviceable parts inside. Freshest if eaten
before date on carton. Subject to change without notice. Times
approximate. Simulated picture. No postage necessary if mailed in the
United States. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. For
off-road use only. As seen on TV. One size fits all. Many suitcases look
alike. Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients. Colors
may, in time, fade. We have sent the forms which seem right for you.
Slippery when wet. For office use only. Not affiliated with the American
Red Cross. Drop in any mailbox. Edited for television. Keep cool.
Process promptly. Post office will not deliver without postage. Return
to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward. Not
responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages
resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform. At participating
locations only. Not the Beatles. Penalty for private use. Keep all limbs
inside while moving. See label for sequence. Do not write below this
line____. Falling rock. Lost ticket pays maximum rate. Your canceled
check is your receipt. Add toner. Place stamp here x. Avoid contact with
skin. Sanitized for your protection. Be sure each item is properly
endorsed. Sign here x without admitting guilt. Slightly higher east of
the Mississippi. Employees and their families are not eligible. Beware
of dog. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show.
Limited time offer, call now to ensure prompt delivery. You must be
present to win. No passes accepted for this engagement. No purchase
necessary. Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton.
Shading within a garment may occur. Use only in a well-ventilated area.
Keep away from fire or flames. Replace with same type. Approved for
veterans. Booths for two or more. Check here x if tax deductible. Price
does not include taxes. No Canadian coins. Not recommended for children.
Prerecorded for this time zone. Reproduction strictly prohibited. No
solicitors. No alcohol, dogs or horses. List at least two alternate
dates. First pull up, then pull down. Call toll free before digging.
Driver does not carry cash. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this
product appear for identification purposes only. Record additional
transactions on back of previous stub. Decision of judges is final. Unix
was a registered trademark of AT&T. No transfers issued until the
bus comes to a complete stop. Package sold by weight, not volume. Your
mileage may vary. This article does not reflect the thoughts or opinions
of either myself, my company, my friends, or my cat. Don't quote me on
that. Don't quote me on anything. All rights reserved. You may
distribute this article freely but you may not make a profit from it.
Terms are subject to change without notice. Not an oral contraceptive.
Illustrations are slightly enlarged to show detail. Hand wash only,
tumble dry on low heat. Do not bend, fold, mutilate, or spindle. No
substitutions allowed. For a limited time only. This article is void
where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted. Caveat emptor. Article
is provided "as is" without any warranties. An equal
opportunity article. No shoes, no shirt, no articles. Quantities are
limited while supplies last. Keep away from sunlight. Keep away from OJ.
Keep away from pets and small children. Limit one-per-family please. No
money down. No purchase necessary. You need not be present to win. Some
assembly required. Instructions are included. No preservatives added.
Slippery when wet. Safety goggles may be required during use. Sealed for
your protection, do not read if safety seal is broken. Call before you
dig. Not liable for damages arising from use or misuse. For external use
only. If rash, irritation, redness, or swelling develops, discontinue
reading. Read only with proper ventilation. Avoid extreme temperatures
and store in a cool dry place. Keep away from open flames. Avoid contact
with eyes and skin and avoid inhaling fumes. Do not siphon gasoline by
mouth. Do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees
Fahrenheit. Do not place near a flammable or magnetic source. Smoking
this article could be hazardous to your health. The best safeguard,
second only to abstinence, is the use of a condom. No salt, MSG,
artificial color or flavoring added. If ingested, do not induce
vomiting, and if symptoms persist, consult a physician. Warning:
Pregnant Women, the Elderly, and Children should avoid prolonged
exposure. Caution: site may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds.
Site contains a liquid core, which if exposed due to rupture should not
be touched, inhaled, or looked at. Do not visit this site on an empty
stomach. Discontinue use of this site if any of the following occurs:
Itching, Vertigo, Hearing Loss, Dizziness, Blurred Vision (astral,
multi-spectral, or otherwise), Tingling in Extremities, Muscle
Twitching, Loss of Balance or Coordination, "Schlurred Shpeech",
Temporary Blindness, Ringinginginging in the Ears, Explosive Diarrhea,
Odoriferous Belching, Uncontrollable Flatulence, Broadcast Telepathy,
Profuse Sweating, Heart Palpitations, or the irrepressible urge to spout
Emily Dickinson's poetry! Danger: site may spontaneously combust. Site
attracts every other piece of matter in the universe, including the
products of other manufacturers, with a force proportional to the
product of the masses and inversely proportional to the distance between
them. If this site begins to smoke, get away immediately, seek shelter,
cover head, and be afraid-- be very afraid. Site may stick to certain
types of skin. Remain in safari vehicle, once inside park. When not in
use, this site should be returned to its special container and kept
under refrigeration. Failure to do so relieves the makers of this site,
NightRaven Productions, its subsidiary, Black Jackal Games, and the game
manufacturers, White Wolf Games, Black Dog Games and me, of any and all
liability. Ingredients of this site include an unknown glowing substance
which fell to Earth, presumably from outer space. Footage from my site
has been shipped to our troops in Saudi Arabia and is also being dropped
by our warplanes on Iraq. Do not taunt my site's manager! May cause any
of the aforementioned effects and/or death. Articles are ribbed for your
pleasure. Possible penalties for early withdrawal. Offer valid only at
participating sites. Slightly higher west of the Rockies. Allow four to
six weeks for delivery. Must be 18 to read. Disclaimer does not cover
misuse, accident, lightning, flood, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption,
earthquake, hurricanes and other Acts of God, neglect, damage from
improper reading, incorrect line voltage, improper or unauthorized
reading, broken antenna or marred cabinet, missing or altered serial
numbers, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, sonic boom
vibrations, customer adjustments that are not covered in this list, and
incidents owing to an airplane crash, ship sinking or taking on water,
motor vehicle accident, alien invasion, dropping the item, falling
rocks, leaky roof, broken glass, mud slides, forest fire, or projectile
(which can include, but not be limited to, arrows, bullets, shot, BB's,
APDS, shrapnel, lasers, napalm, torpedoes, emissions of Alpha-, Beta-,
Gamma-, Cosmic-, X-, or N-Rays, knives, stones, etc. ad nauseum...).
This supersedes all previous notices. Other restrictions may apply.
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