Having said all that, obviously there are cultural differences involved in dating Japanese men, but these are mostly to do with your perception of what "normality" is, and your definitions and expectations of any relationships. To understand some of the cross-cultural differences involved in a Japanese guy and foreign woman dating, which is obviously my only (and small) area of experience, you should first look at Japanese women, and the way they act around men, or in relationships. Even in a simple friendship between a Japanese male and female, men will tend to be dominant, louder, more talkative, leading the conversation etc. Obviously this is just what I’ve observed, just my opinion, just my experience etc., which goes for everything I write, okay? I think generally that Japanese guys are just more dominant in public society generally, and are used to that position, and this can cause misunderstanding. Having said that, most Japanese guys having asked or agreed to go on a date with you, are going to realise that, hello, you are not Japanese, and are going to adjust their behaviour, at least at first. No-one expects you to be a Japanese woman.

First Date…. you have to make yourself clear, in everything you do basically. If you aren’t fluent in Japanese, it can be difficult to give out the hints and signals that we tend to take for granted in our own language. You also need to be aware that Japanese people rely even more on these hints and signals. For example, if a Japanese guy wants to date you and wants your phone number, they will probably first ask something really vague, such as "kondo ne, asobou ka". If you follow this up by displaying your genuine enthusiasm, then they’ll ask "itsu dattara ii?" or whatever, and finally will ask for your phone number. It’s like this level thing, like they need to check out your interest at every level before moving up or something. So just make yourself clear, and make sure you’re reading him right too.

Japanese guys often assume, I think, that foreign women just aren’t interested in them, having been told their whole lives that foreign men are cooler, more handsome, more interesting and definitely better hung, all of which are obviously huge lies. So even if they want to ask you out, they might be scared to. Again, you need to make it clear that you’d be interested. When they ask you if you have a boyfriend, you can flirt and say "oh yeah lots - I’m hot for Japanese guys", if that’s the way you want to take it, or you can say "no, but I like Japanese guys"; whatever your personal style, but just let them know that you are prepared to date a Japanese guy and are not limiting yourself to foreigners. And of course, you can also totally ask for someone’s phone number yourself - Japanese women might be reluctant to do it, but guys do know that foreign women are generally a little more forward or whatever.

Sex….. again, at the end of the date or whatever, make it clear what you want to happen or not to happen next. Most Japanese people don’t expect anything to sexually happen on a first date, but will not be shocked if it does. I guess it’s all the same as foreigners play it really.

Japanese people, especially young people, nearly all use the brilliant birth-control method of withdrawal, hence the high number of abortions. Condoms are seen as a cool thing to have in your wallet, but are rarely used. You need to have your own trusted-brand condoms, and make sure they know they have to wear one. Be paranoid, seriously! The young Japanese male attitude to condoms can be shocking. Check they have it on. Ignore any encouraging remarks about "raw" being the best.

Orgasms are referred to as "going" rather than "coming". I’ve heard it said that Japanese males are less attentive in bed, or have less of a clue about what women need to "go", - in my experience this isn’t true - but everyone is different, right, and again, just act like you would with another foreigner in the same situation. Maybe I’m assuming too much, but my guess is that most people are not going to get into this intimate position if they don’t have some kind of communication going on, so I really don’t see there would be any major problem.

Serious relationships…. Look, this really is the point where you don’t need to read about it before you do it! I guess there are cultural differences involved, but if two people really like each other, they’re going to talk about things like this, and find ways to make it work, or whatever, right?