SAMURAI PIZZA CATS EMBERS OF JEALOUSY Author: G.A. Wildcat Yep, it's time to bring in another chapter to the SPC saga. This one features the Rad-Cats' OTHER older sister, the adoring but sassy Sylvia "Silky" Melika. She winds up leading the Pizza Cats away, which infuriates Polly, leading to feelings of jealousy, and then extreme depression. Curtis Cat, displaying the humorous side that you won't see very often, takes Sylvia back down to HIS level, then sends the SPC after the Big Cheese's worst scheme yet---with the help of a few friends..... And Curtis has a new enemy, and you'll be surprised at who it is! (The story opens in the pizza parlor...this time, late at night. Everyone is asleep, still physically tired from the furious attack on the Shogun Weapons Vault that was successfully thwarted by the Pizza Cats the night before. The view pans over to Speedy and Polly's room. Polly is sleeping blissfully in her bed, but the empty spot next to her signifies that her beloved husband is not there. Scene switches to the kitchen. A figure is heard walking quietly. As it walks through a patch of moonlight shining through a window, the figure is identified as a white-robed Speedy Cerviche.) Speedy: (to himself) Sheesh, these hunger pains won't go away, even with that bowl of grapes that I ate earlier! There had BETTER be something downstairs. (opens up the refrigerator and gets his snack, and closes the door) (Then, out of the darkness, a pair of eyes flash in front of him.) Speedy: (screaming; drops his snack on the table and runs) HELP! IT'S A MONSTER!! (the eyes follow him up the stairs) IT'S ONE OF THE GHOSTS FROM PAC-MAN!! (Speedy collides into something as he runs down the hall, and then the eyes crash into him. The light flicks on. There is a good view of Speedy and Guido lying against the floor, dazed. Standing over the two are Francine and Polly, and crouching behind Speedy, rubbing his head in pain, is Ambush Cat.) Speedy: (recovering from his daze; turns to Ambush Cat) Oh, it was YOU! Francine: Speedy! You didn't have a nightmare, did you?? Speedy: I was trying to avoid this cat behind me. I had good cause to avoid him, too--- Ambush Cat: (interrupting) That's because you were going down into the kitchen to make a snack without making arrangements to share. Polly: (darkly) Guys, next time, don't get up to get a midnight snack or a cup of water without waking me or Francine up first. Ambush Cat: (steps back, displaying his jaws) Last time I did that, you almost conducted surgery on me with your claws. You never used anesthetic. Why should you start now? Polly: (growls) Nevertheless, you should listen to me. Now, if there aren't going to be any more rude noises, I'm going to bed. Guido: (mocking Crow-Magnon) So, the deep-dish trio, it seems we meet again.... Speedy, Ambush Cat, and Guido: AND IT'LL BE THE LAST TIME!! (Everyone laughs, except for the redhead) Polly: (groans) Oh, please....(walks away, goes into her room, and shuts the door. Speedy and Guido do likewise) Francine: (giggles, then yawns) Well, then.....where's Curtis? Is he at that thing that he said he was going to? Ambush Cat: (shakes his head) I'm not sure. I think he said he was going to go off to the palace to greet Empress Frieda. She wanted to have a secret rendezvous with the Princess, so that no one would get hurt. Francine: Oh. I hope he has a good time. 'Night. (walks back into her room and shuts the door) Ambush Cat: (turns off the lights, then snickers) Oh, he will. (heads downstairs and resumes prowling) Now, about that snack I was going to have..... (After they all adjourn, the scene changes to a dark location right outside the palace. There is a full moon. Three shadowy figures are seen; one of them standing away, looking on, and two figures quietly embracing.) Figure #1: Good to see you two again. Figure #2: Glad you could come back, mom. Is it for good this time? Figure #3: I've done enough globetrotting. I've gotten what I've went around for, and I think it's time I've resumed my role as Empress of Little Tokyo. Figure #1: Princess, Empress Frieda, we had better get back inside before anyone sees us. Vi: Okay, Big Al. (starts to go back in) Voice: Whatever you say, big guy. (All 3 figures jump, then silently force themselves to keep walking. A black shadow glides in front of them, and stays with them as they go into the palace. As a light is turned on, we get a better look at Al, Vi, and Frieda, as well as the black shadow, Curtis Cat.) Curtis: (smiles) Well, well, well. If it isn't the world famous Empress Frieda. Glad to finally meet you in person. Frieda: Who are you? (Everyone stops walking once the throne room is reached) Curtis: I'm Curtis Cat, second-in-command to Big Al Dente here, and new commanding officer of the city's defenders, the Samurai Pizza Cats. Al: He's not your everyday cat, either. He kicked a soccer ball so hard once that it sailed all the way across the Sea of Japan. Frieda: (skeptical) Yes, but should he really be here? He's a civilian. I can tell just by looking at him. Curtis: So are you. So are Fred, Vi, and Al, and the whole of the Council. You want to see uncivilized? Take a look at the Little Tokyo Navy. Frieda: We are civilians, all right, but we are royalty. You're not. Curtis: (goes into one of his rants) Oh, you think just because I'm not royalty means I shouldn't be here? If it wasn't for me, Fred, Vi, and Al wouldn't be here right now! The Animal Legion of Doom, a terrorist group dedicated to destruction of the planet, have recently moved in and have made their HQ right under this city. Already they have launched 2 major assaults (NAME THAT TUNE, and the last story) against L.T., and I've stopped them each time! Oh, and lets not forget that the SPC had a part in it, as well---- Vi: Okay, okay, we get the point. (screams) NOW COULD YOU PLEASE BE QUIET!?? Curtis: (smirks) Yeah, sure, if you can put up with me for the next several days. My heat blew out at my OTHER home, so I figured, "Hey, why not spend the next few nights at the Palace with the 3 Stooges"? Which reminds me: I asked the Emperor what 2 + 2 was, and he said, "FOUR-ED!" Right, and did I tell you about my--- Frieda, Al, and Vi: Curtis.... Curtis: (slashes the air with his claws) SCORE!! Hey, Vi, you're the one that asked for it. Just keep your mouth shut when I'm around, okay? 'Cause that habit you have of exiling everyone in sight needs to change, and you'll be 20 in a week. Nighty-night! (disappears) Frieda: (to Big Al, angrily) Do you just realize what he did? He actually gave my daughter an order! As my first act as PERMENANT Empress, I'm going to have you lock him up in the brig! Al: (shakes his head) Tried that already. He made his sword change into a dog bone, then lured me over to the computer. After that, I got side-tracked and loaded up `Starcraft'. (growls) MAN, those Protoss missions are hard to beat..... (Even after all this time. I had trouble beating the Protoss missions, myself.) Frieda: (raises an eyebrow, then glares at him) Then I'm going to have to do it myself! (whips out the bazooka, nearly knocking over Vi, and leaves in a huff.) (Scene changes to a market, the following day. Speedy and Polly are shopping for supplies, with Runner not far behind, acting as their shopping cart and complaining all the way.) Runner: (indignant) I don't see why you can't use a shopping cart. After all, I may be ultra-strong, but I definitely have a hard time keeping things balanced. That, and the fact that I can't see a thing in front of me! Speedy: Why don't YOU go back and get the cart, then? (leaps up, sets 9 bags of mushrooms at the top of the pile, then falls back to earth) And while you're at it, pick up some lettuce. Runner: That would be nice, but I can't see where I'm going right now. (something white flickers overhead) I figure it's sooner or later before I wind up running into--- (There is a BANG, a CRASH, and several assorted THUDS and SPLATTERS. Both Pizza Cats spin around. Runner is sprawled on the floor; none the worse for wear, but a mess nonetheless. Splattered over him are the supplies he was carrying. However, Speedy notices none of it. Standing in front of Runner is a strikingly beautiful female white cat, wearing a T-Shirt that says "Inventing the sun was a bright idea", a pair of black denim jeans, a pair of silver earrings, and a pair of sneakers, like the kind that Teasy wears, only smaller and decorated with gray ribbons. A voice on the P.A. says, "Christopher Melon, Cleanup on Aisle 4," while Polly laughs heartily.) (Meanwhile, Runner gets up and wipes himself off) Runner: Hey, watch what you're---(realizes who it is; voice turns deadly) Oooooh, if it isn't Miss Marshmallow herself. Female: (annoyed) The name is Sylvia, little bro. Runner: (grins evilly) If you hadn't shown up when you did, I would've been a pillar of groceries by the time we were done shopping. Sylvia: (ignores him, turns around and sees Speedy and Polly) Nice to meet you two. My name's Sylvia Melika. I'm currently a musical artist. Who are you? Speedy: (trying to act conversational without bursting out laughing) My name's Speedy Cerviche, and this is my wife, Polly Esther. We're.... The two together: SAMURAI PIZZA CATS! Sylvia: (jumps a foot in the air, then gathers her composure and smiles politely) Hey, you're the Pizza Cats? Can I have your autograph? Voice: No autographs. (Good Bird lands in front of Sylvia, carrying a bag jock-full of packages of pepperoni) Sylvia: Your name's Good Bird, right? GB: (rolls his eyes) Yeah. I prefer GB, because the name kinda sounds stupid. Sylvia: (smiles happily) I knew you looked familiar. I was in New York watching a tree fall over no more than 20 feet away from me, and I just happened to see you on top of the Geisha robot that you had ordered to destroy Speedy and Sundance. Unfortunately, Runner dragged me off, so I didn't get to see what happened. Speedy: (matter-of-fact) We destroyed it. Sylvia: Oh. GB: (thinks back for a while, then laughs) I had wondered who else would be watching in Central Park. Sylvia: Well, I'm going to be dropping by the music studio in a few minutes; I have an appointment with my agent. Guy named Bickerson.....ever hear of him? Speedy, Polly, and GB: (loudly) HA!! Speedy: That guy used to be my agent! Polly: Yeah, mine too! Too bad he became Guido's agent when the deal eventually went sour. Runner: (grins) Like a lemon, right? Polly: Right. Sounds like something Teasy would say. Runner: His personality is starting to rub off on me....I can't explain it. Sylvia: (glances at her wristwatch) Well, see you later. (Sylvia strolls out. Suddenly, not of their own will, GB and Speedy walk towards her and follow her out, leaving Runner and Polly behind. Speedy stops only to pay for the groceries that were destroyed. We see Speedy walking out....) Speedy: (frowning) (GB follows him) GB: (grinning, clenches a fist) Runner: (tsk tsk tsk tsk) Shame. Polly: (suspicious) Now, where is Speedy going? Runner: Probably to watch Sylvia belt out her tunes, thus earning Bickerson thousands of dollars. Polly: (complainingly) He knows he's my wife! Why is he walking with another woman? In front of my own eyes, even? (snarls) Ooooh, I oughta pound that teenager! Runner: (sighs) You just go on back to the parlor. I'll handle the rest of the shopping. Polly: (shoulders slump) Okay. (walks, downhearted, out the door) Runner: Sad. (gets an inspiration) As soon as I get those groceries, this is something that Curtis will definitely hear about. (Gathers up what's left of the groceries, grabs an empty cart, puts them in, and continues on) (4 shadows flicker repeatedly by the Employees Only doors. One of them speaks.) Figure: Good. Now's my chance. (The figure sneaks away, but the other 3 shadows remain. There is a sudden gunshot, startling the creeping shadow and causing him to collide into a wall. Security scrambles over, but by then, there is no one in sight.) (We switch to the underground hideout, official headquarters of Seymour Cheese and the Animal Legion of Doom. Everyone, with the exception of Caner, is swarming over a machine [boy, they sure atone for their disasters quick enough!]. It looks like a moving van, only twice as big. On it's sides and top are metal chains that connect to gigantic titanium hands. A cockpit has been added, along with a set of rotating defensive lasers. Seymour and Jerry stand off to one side, talking to each other.) Seymour: What's this? Looks like a cross between a U-Haul truck and a glass eye. Jerry: (quietly) It's the Bouldermobile. It can pick up extremely heavy objects and fling them at well-armored and well-protected targets. In this case, the Palace. Seymour: That's not going to get past the Pizza Cats. When we were looking for those false pixies, the Unhappy Camper tried unsuccessfully to knock trees on top of them. How is this bowling ball gone wrong supposed to accomplish anything? Quarter: (speaks up) No need to worry about that. My young spy, Chaos Kitten, managed to report that Polly Esther Cerviche is too depressed to be concerned with enemy threats. Speedy, apparently, started going off with Teasy Melika's sister, Sylvia, a.k.a. "Silky." Jerry: Two down. What about the rest? Quarter: (smirks) "The rest" are over at the recording studio with your old friend, Mr. Bickerson, listening to Sylvia sing. An hour before dawn tomorrow, we'll strike: First the recording studio, then we'll use chunks of the studio to make a hole in the palace and hold the princess for ransom. Seymour: What happened to ol' Chaos? Quarter: I'm not sure. There was a gunshot, then loud yelling, and then a thud. Probably got knocked unconscious. (shrugs it off) I'll worry about him later; he can take care of himself. (shouts) Hey, Blackout, put down that---hey, you're eating Pizza Cats Pizza!! Blackout: (his mouth full of food) Sorry, boss. I meant to go to Harvey's House of Pies, but I went into the Pizza Cats restaurant instead. (swallows his mouthful) They recognized me, but fed me anyway. It was an accident. Quarter: (flying into a rage) AN ACCIDENT??! I'LL GIVE YOU AN ACCIDENT....ON PURPOSE!!! (Quarter leaps up and clobbers Blackout off the Bouldermobile. In doing so, the wild dog gets his face into the pizza and takes a gulp. Almost immediately, the rest of the pizza disappears into Quarter's mouth, Garfield style. =^_^=) Quarter: (licks his lips) Come to think of it, the pizza DOES taste good. It wasn't Jamm's Juvenille Junkies, but I'll give it a 7. Caner: (to Seymour) Dogs may SEEM friendly, but I'd hate to be caught between one of them and his appetite. Flasher: (drops a wrench to the floor) The Bouldermobile is complete, boss! (The rest of the group drops their tools on the ground) Seymour and Jerry: (several loud laughs) (As they laugh, the camera pans over and above the robot, then circles to the left and focuses on a dark niche in the wall. From the niche come a pair of flashing eyes. The voice that comes from it is easily Curtis's.) Curtis: (growls inaudibly, then talks under his breath) Bad timing, you zealots. This is MY planet, not yours. (disappears) (Time passes. It is now quite close to the evening hours. We are now at the recording studio, where we see Speedy, Guido, GB, and the 4 Melika brothers listening to Sylvia, who sounds like Carey, Houston, and Abdul all rolled into one. [Of course, they ALL needed singing lessons, in my opinion, but I think you get my drift.] Off to another side, Bickerson is rubbing his hands in anticipation of the money he's going to be earning.) Sylvia: (singing) Is it just me, or am I deeply in love.... Teasy: It's just you. Sylvia: (singing) .....with you, O my sweet turtle dove..... Teasy: Take the dove part out, sister. The guy's just as ugly. Sylvia: (hisses inaudibly, then continues singing) If it weren't for you.... Teasy: You'd be watching "Batman Forever" all night. Sylvia: (singing) ...I wouldn't know what I would do.... Teasy: You'd bang your head against a wall until you died of brain damage. Ha, ha! Sylvia: (stops singing; music stops) Brilliant, bro! You've just ruined my last hit! Everyone: (in unison) Big whoop. Guido: (indignant) Who cares about this stuff? Even in the approaching winter, that sort of stuff would melt the snow off the brim of Mount Coochie! Sylvia: (puts her paws on her hips and sneers) Well, if it's going to be different to you, then you're all a bunch of ---- Rad-Cats: (as one, they hiss, drowning out the profanity) Speedy: Chill out, guys. Chill out. (whispers) Besides, I've got a plan to cut this girl down to size.... Guido: (growls) It had better work. GB: (with headphones where his ears should be) Yeah! It's been only 20 minutes, but I'm getting tired of listening to her! I'm telling you, it's worse than being blasted by Lucille! Guido: (rolls his eyes) That's because you're listening to music from the Free Willy soundtrack. What could be worse than that? (That one song on the soundtrack I like; the rest of it is garbage.) Sylvia: Stop your babbling, helmet-boys, and listen to my next tune! (starts singing again) Daniel: (covers his ears) You and your big mouths. Where is Carlos when I need him? (Scene transfers over to a darkened parlor. Evening hours, now. Curtis is chatting with Francine, who is busy putting all the supplies away, even after all this time. Polly is sitting at a table with them, sobbing.) Polly: Why now? Why did he have to go? He's my husband, for crying out loud.... Francine: Of course, that's what you're doing. (puts away the last of the supplies, then sits on the counter) Curtis: Polly, you've been saying that ever since Speedy left 5 hours ago....Francine, I don't mean to bother you, but could you get me some water, please? My throat's a little dry. Francine: Sure. (Reaches up to get a glass down, then hops off the counter and fills the glass) Curtis: On to business. I've done my daily investigation of the A.L.D.'s hideout, and they've completed their latest weapon--- Polly: (sobs) Who cares? Curtis: (runs his claws along the table) I do. You're possibly the most vital component of the Super-Cats team! If it weren't for you, robots like the Unhappy Camper and Long-Tall Sally would have free run of the entire city! (starts getting animated) Buildings toppled! Trees crashed! Hundreds of innocent creatures slaughtered! Idiots poisoned by talculm powder! (voice echoes) THE ENTIRE CITY IN THE FILTHY HAND OF ONE GIANT RAT AND AN IRRESPONSIBLE CRIME FAMILY!! Polly: (cries out; slams her hands on the table) BE QUIET!!! THAT WAS ALL IN THE PAST!! THIS IS THE FUTURE WE'RE TALKING ABOUT!!! GOT THAT?!! MY FUTURE!! WITHOUT SPEEDY, I'M AS GOOD AS DEAD!!! (puts her head in her arms and breaks down) (Francine sets the water in front of Curtis, and as he takes a sip, she gets back on the counter) Francine: (thinks back) Shades of Guido Anchovy. (Setting temporarily changes to an angry Guido, from the "No-talent Guido" episode, refusing to take charge when the Big Cheese attacked, then flickers back to the present) Curtis: (alarmed) (tries to act calm) Yeah, yeah, I know Speedy is your one and only love, but we're talking about the integrity--- Voice: Of what? Francine: (jumps a foot in the air and falls off the counter) HUH?! WHO SAID THAT!? Curtis: (spins and leaps behind the table reflexively, slipping and falling as he does so) WHAA! Polly: (looks up) Wha? Who? Curtis: (struggles to his feet and unsheathes Shape-Shifter) Show yourself, you....(starts to make out the shadows) ....Oh, boy! (The 3 shadows materialize in the form of.....) Francine, Polly, and Curtis: THE NEW YORK PIZZA CATS!? Sundance: Yup. You're looking at them. What's up? Curtis: With who? You, or me? Why are you here, anyway? (sheathes his sword and dusts himself off) Cosmo: We had this one red fox, who said she was a world traveller, help us. (For reference, check the end of BLACK FLAGGED) We finally managed to put Chester Cheddar behind bars for good! On top of that, there was a lot of business at our parlor, and we had enough money for Abigail to let us have the week off. Christmas is approaching, and Abigail wanted to go spend the week with her in-laws.... Francine: (giggles) Funny. DeeDee: Enough about us. What's with you guys? Who ARE you? Curtis: (smiles) Name is Curtis Cat. I came down here a few months ago because of a group of bad guys that teamed up with Cheddar's nephew, Seymour. Cosmo: (frowns) That explains the spy that was at the supermarket. Sundance: (same) Yeah. Called himself Chaos Kitten. We checked his I.D. after I knocked him out, and it said he was associated with a group called the A.L.D. Who are they? Curtis: (the fur on his neck standing on end) The Animal Legion of Doom! Those idiots! RRGGGHHH!! (Out of anger, his fist slams the table, splitting it in half. Getting up, he paces over towards the ovens, then turns and faces the NYPC.) DeeDee: What, you know them? Curtis: (snarls) Of course I do! You remember the shootings in Colorado not long ago? (The NY Cats nod their heads) Curtis: How about the Oklahoma City bombing? Or the crusades of the Unibomber? Or the nearly successful attempt to bomb that Atlanta stadium in the 1996 Olympics? Sundance: Yeah? What about them? Curtis: (hisses) Whether anyone knows it or not--and they don't--the A.L.D. were connected with them in some way or another. They either give out secret orders, or.....(pauses for a moment)....they use a machine that can warp a person's mind from a distance. (flinches) I've seen one of those before. Not a pretty sight. They'd use it against me, but the control of my thoughts (no, he's not Jedi) won't let them manipulate my mind. Cosmo: (concerned) Hmmmm.....that middle part is not very good. Those guys have a lot to answer for. Sundance: (looks at Curtis, and takes in the scenery) Nice place. (His head turns towards Fran) So, Curtis....where are the other guys? Francine: Guido and Speedy are at a recording studio, along with the former Bad Bird taking wing, listening to someone sing. Sundance: Is your name Curtis? No. Francine: Your face was facing MY face when you said it. Sundance: Oh. Cosmo: (smoothly) By the way, it's nice to meet you, Francine. Francine: (giggles) Thanks. Curtis: (frowns) Cosmo, stop showing off. (Polly starts crying again) Everyone: GREAT SCOTT, WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?? Polly: (moans) Speedy....he's out with someone.... (There's a beeping noise coming from Curtis's direction. Shrugging, he pulls something out of his fur: A handheld comlink, like the kind you would see on a Star Wars movie.) Curtis: (switches on the comlink) Grand Admiral Curtis Wildcat here. What's up? (Sundance and DeeDee both raise an eyebrow, skeptical) Voice: Curtis, this is Teasy. We're going to take a little side trip out to the bakery. Could you try to convince Big Al and Princess Vi to prepare a room for Sylvia Melika? Curtis: (grins evilly) Don't bother. Get Sylvia over here at the pizza parlor. I have a little plan of my own in store for her. It should deflate her ego. Bring whatever you plan on getting at the bakery, too. Teasy: (sounds curious) What exactly did you have in mind, anyway? Curtis: You'll see. You might as well prepare the laugh track. Teasy: Got it. The King of Jokes has now left the building. (comlink clicks off) Curtis: (puts away the comlink, and places a paw on Polly's shoulder) Don't worry about this. Once I get through, we can set to work on the latest scheme direct from Seymour and Company. (chuckles) And, once Sylvia gets here, I'll give her a taste of my own medicine. (turns to Sundance) What say I buy you some dinner? We can eat outside; it shouldn't be too cold out. DeeDee: (grins) You don't need to. (A pizza box flies through the window, bounces off Curtis's head, and lands on the floor. Curtis picks it up, and notices the style of the box: circular, rather than squared.) Cosmo: Abigail launched it right after we left. Our cannon has an extension too, you know. Curtis: (chuckles, then falls silent. He gets a vacant look in his eyes as he follows the others out.) Francine: If you don't mind, Polly, I'd like to be able to join them. Polly: (voice trembling) Sure, Fran. Go on ahead. (As the NY Pizza Cats, Curtis, and Francine depart, Polly is left alone to nurse her grief. Finally, being that it's too much to bear, she flings her cry towards the sky.) Polly: (wails) SPEEDY!!! (Scene switches to the outskirts of Little Tokyo, not far from Mount Coochie. Lucille is taking a short walk before settling down for the night. As she slowly strolls, she inhales the night air and sighs.) Lucille: Well, the sun has just about set. I should be getting home.... Voice: On the contrary, Missile-Mouth! Lucille: (turns around) Huh? (No more than 20 meters away is the Boulder-Mobile, with the Animal Legion of Doom behind the wheel. On top of the actual vehicle is another cockpit, in which Jerry Atrick and the Big Cheese now sit. The voice that came out of the speaker on it's side belongs to the A.L.D.'s leader Quarter, whose orders they abide. [I'm starting to sound like Francine!]) Quarter: Hey, Lucille, baby.....SAY GOODNIGHT! (raises a lever) (The Boulder-mobile hefts a rock like it was a tennis ball and hurls it at her. The boulder gets as close as it gets.....[SCENE CHANGE!]....scene changes to the center of the city. The whole Melika bunch [with the exception of Alice], plus Speedy, Guido, and GB, are heading in the direction of the parlor.) Sylvia: (sighs happily) Well, boys....what didja think? GB: Personally, I thought it stunk. (The Cats chuckle. The Rad-Cats follow suit.) Sylvia: (places her paws on her hips; gets huffy) Don't you talk to ME like that! I sung it in the voice that has already netted me several thousand grand! GB: (sneers) Listen, toots. If I was still Bad Bird, you wouldn't even BE here right now. You'd be off slaving away for the Big Cheese, digging for gold, and covered by a pair of Ninja Crows! And furthermore, you won't get ANY money until Curtis finishes talking with your agent. You know which fuzzball I'm talking about? Sylvia: (laughs) THAT furry dolt? That tri-colored, screwy, quad-leveled dolt? He can set himself on fire, for all I care! Guido: (The Cats arrive at the parlor. Francine can be seen inside, reading a Catman comic, her face away from them. Polly is reading it with her, beyond tears and trying to regain her sense of humor. Everyone enters and seats themselves.) Teasy: Holy mackeral, Catman! (laughs) Sylvia: As long as I'm alive, no one can harm me. I'm practically fool-proof! (While she says this, Teasy quietly locks the door.) Teasy: (grins) Sylvia: (continues raving) I'm the best of the best, the richest of the richest..... Voice: .....And the ugliest of the ugly. (Curtis materializes on top of the counter, one hand on Shape-Shifter.) Daniel: Curtis, she called you a--- Curtis: (smiles) Yeah, I heard the whole thing. Here, Silky, have some pie! (throws a pie at her face, and it smacks her dead on.) Sylvia: (grabs a rag and wipes her face) How dare you! For one thing, you shouldn't do that to oh so dignified a cat as me! I'm the most important person this side of the city! Curtis: (pretends to sound apologetic) Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know you didn't want banana cream pie. Voice: HERE! HAVE SOME CHERRY PIE! (Another pie appears out of the darkness and hits Sylvia's face. Speedy steps out, carrying a stack of pies. Polly looks in his direction, joy entering her face once again as she realizes the truth.) Sylvia: (wipes her face) Why, you....! (charges Curtis, and envelops him with a thick rope) Francine: (nervous) Uh-oh. She's got him, this time.... Curtis: (grins) NOW! (There is a gunshot, and the rope surrounding Curtis bursts apart. The calico yanks Shape-Shifter from its sheath and cuts what's left off his shoulders) Everyone except Curtis: WHOA!! GB: (draws in a sharp breath) What was that?!? Voice: You don't remember me? Did someone wipe your memory, er something? (A dark figure appears next to Curtis) Speedy: (growls) Hey, that voice sounds awfully familiar. It kind of reminds me of Sundance. Figure: You guessed correctly, Shor....er, I mean, Speedy! (The dark shadow reappears, revealing Sundance, with one hand on his seven-shooter.) Guido: (happily) Hey, Sundance! How's it going? Sundance: (grins) A whole lot better, since Curtis's fox Aldonza helped us jail Sir Chester Cheddar. Abigail let us have the week off, so we figured we might as well go HERE. (The other 2 NYPC appear next to him) Curtis: (gets a firm grip on his sword; Shape-Shifter morphs into a Louisville slugger) All right, gang! It's party time! Move out! (The scenery around Sylvia seems to fade. One by one, the NYPC, the SPC, the R-C, and C [HA!] gradually disappear, as well.) Sylvia: (confused but trying to hide it) All right, guys, I know you're around here somewhere.....(sees a shadow, and tackles it) Ha! Gotcha! Polly: (sarcastically) Would you and the chair like a moment alone? (connects with a vicious left jab that sends Sylvia spinning over the counter) Speedy: (chuckles) You go! Sylvia: (leaps back over the counter, straight at Guido) TAKE THIS, YOU BIG HUNK OF---- Guido: (smoothly) Why, thank you! (leaps over the punch) Bye, beautiful! (backhands her across the face and sends her in Runner's direction) Runner: (chuckles) Nice shot, Guido! (kicks the cat, sending her in Curtis's direction) (For the next several seconds, Francine and Ambush Cat sit on the counter, watching Sylvia bounce from cat to cat like a ball in a pinball machine) Francine: (sighs) I've never understood cats. Ambush Cat: You're a cat too, you know. Francine: Yes, I know. For that matter, I don't understand myself. Ambush Cat: (laughs) Of course you understand yourself! You understand that you like money, don't you? Francine: (looks at him) Yeah.... Ambush Cat: Then you understand yourself. (perks up) If you don't mind, Francine, I've got work to do at the Mansion. Talk to you later. (jumps down from the counter and leaves) Francine: (as Ambush Cat leaves) (changes position on the counter and stares at it) (Suddenly, a Lightspeed Missile, courtesy of Chico, sends Sylvia flying) Francine: (panicking) WHOA! (dives off the counter) (Sylvia lands behind the counter. Needless to say, though, she is still upset) Sylvia: (gets up) That's it.....YOU'VE HAD IT!! (jumps back over the counter and throws a wicked right hook towards Curtis's face) Curtis: (ducks the punch, and crows) Sock-a-doodle-do! (starts faking her out, and then disappears suddenly) Sylvia: (swinging her fists around) All right, bozo. I know you're around here! (stops swinging, and starts searching) Blast it, where are you? (continues searching) Curtis: (voice is heard behind her) What's the matter? Can't find me? (clenches both fists together and tomahawks her across her spinal cord, forcing her down on one knee and one hand) Sylvia: (voice strained as she attempts to get up) What....have you got....to say....for.... yourself.....? Curtis: (croons) Double your pleasure, double your fun.....G.A. Wildcat, the G is for gum..... Teasy: If you keep this up, sis', that will be the only thing left in your mouth, besides your overactive tongue! GB: (chuckles) Yeah. I wonder why you haven't exploded and spewed ego all over the place. Chico: (folds his arms) Whatsa matter, Silky? Did the Super-Cat hurt you? Sylvia: (struggling to get on her feet, her eyes flooded with tears) Yeah.... Rad-Cats: (in unison) GOOD! Sylvia: Come ON! Stop cheering for them and cheer for me! Teasy: (bored) Sylvia, Sylvia, she's our girl, if she can't do it.....(yells) GREAT!! * Curtis: (whispers to Francine, who has gotten up) Actually, the G.A. stands for--- Francine: (brushes him aside) Yes, yes, I know. You've told us a hundred times already. Curtis: (smiles) Hey, every now and then, you DO need a reminder of who is in charge. Sylvia: (with a burst of energy, lifts herself up and socks Cosmo) I am NOT to be trifled with! DO YOU UNDERSTAND?? Cosmo: (gets up immediately; holds his Super Saber at an angle) Not quite! Speedy: (shakes his head) Don't bother, Cosmo. She's not worth our time. (Curtis suddenly backhands Sylvia across her forehead, knocking her to the ground) Curtis: (growls; mockingly) Not worth our time, you say. (glares down at the cat) Sylvia, before the comet hit, people could just do whatever they wanted without permission. However, you've just attempted to attack the guardian of this town's defense. Sylvia: (weakly) So? Curtis: Likely response. I'm not just the guardian of Little Tokyo. I am the one who continued on where the U.N. failed. I'm the one who sought the solution for the fight against crime. Because of ME, the crime rate around the earth has dropped by 19%. Got that? I am not just any cat! (gray haze surrounds him) DeeDee: (backs off) Uh-oh..... All SPC, NYPC, and R-C: YOU SAID IT! (Everyone vacates the parlor) Curtis: (roars) I AM WILDCAT, THE CHAMPION OF THE SUPER-CATS AND THE GRAND ADMIRAL OF THE SUPER-CATS' INFINITE DEFENSE!! Sylvia: (smiles weakly) And I'm still Sylvia Melika. My singing is still popular worldwide. (Everyone enters the parlor again) Curtis: (smiles) Popular? Oh, yeah? Well, THIS is YOU! (Curtis starts singing, in a very high-pitched and off-key voice, the theme from the old television show "All in the Family". ** Everyone covers their ears until Curtis stops singing) DeeDee: You might be a decent superhero, but you'll never get a career as a rock star. Curtis: (shrugs) I know. I'm more interested in computers, anyway. (turns to Runner) Runner---- Polly: (grins, and cracks her knuckles) Allow me. I've been working out. Curtis: (nods) I can tell. Let her have it! (Runner rolls Sylvia up into something the size of a baseball, then tosses it to Teasy. Teasy winds up, then throws. Polly clenches both fists, and swings. The "baseball" shoots out the window and vanishes over the distant horizon.) Chico: (points a finger at Polly) THE NEW CHAMPION! Polly: (laughs, then turns to Speedy. Her voice is trembling slightly) Speedy....? Speedy: Yes, dear? Polly: Do you....still....? (eyes shine) Speedy: In the words of the singer Johnny Mathis, "I'll love you until the twelfth of never...." Chico: And THAT is a long, long time. Daniel: (ear twitches) Hey, that's my line! Chico: I did that song at the concert. (shakes his head) (As husband and wife embrace, Curtis starts pacing nervously around the interior of the parlor. Finally, as they break the embrace, he hisses.) Curtis: All right, gang! No time to lose, now! We've dealt with Sylvia in the best way we could. Now we've got the A.L.D. to deal with! NYPC, Rad-Cats, come on. Samurai, transform and get to the Palace on the double! SPC: YEAH! (dash off) (There is a knock on the door, and Teasy answers it. Aldonza runs through the door, breathing heavily. Carlos Cosmos follows, a stern look on his face. At the sound of this, the SPC stop running and start backtracking in the opposite direction) Curtis: (yells) ALDONZA, WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU DOING HERE??! Aldonza: (stressed out, yells back) DON'T YELL AT ME! LUCILLE'S BEEN KIDNAPPED!! (Everyone gasps) Guido: (angrily) What happened?? Aldonza: (talking quickly) Quarter and the others compensated for their recent loss and have built what's called the Bouldermobile! They knocked Lucille out and captured her, and they almost captured me, too! GB: (snarls) When was this? Aldonza: (breathes more slowly) About 5 minutes ago. They're enroute to the Palace right now to capture the Princess, the Emperor, and the Empress! (eyes get big) If they get captured, Little Tokyo's done for! Curtis: (nods) I hope Frieda doesn't mind a few interruptions. Let's get our knuckles cracking! (The 4 Samurai head for the chutes, while Carlos comes to man the controls. The Rad-Cats transform and follow Curtis out the door. Keeping pace with them are the New Yorkers.) Carlos (over the intercom) Sorry to have to interrupt your slumber, but Quarter's group has taken a number! They're evil #1, oh true blue, so hope they don't become #2! KA-POW!! (With a single blast the SPC, Francine included, are on their way to deal swift justice.) (Over at the palace of Little Tokyo, Big Al Dente is scanning the horizon with his binoculars. He spots the Bouldermobile, not far off. Fred, Frieda, and Vi join him.) Al: What IS that thing? A bowling ball gone----- (Quarter's voice eminates from the machine's speaker.) Quarter: This is Quarter, leader and commander of the Animal Legion of Doom. Drop all defenses and prepare for first-hand invasion, or receive your instant destruction. (Everyone moans) Vi: This is brilliant! Now I'll NEVER finish college! Fred: Fa-red! Frieda: (nods) Ditto! Speaking of ditto...... (Down below....) Quarter: (growling) What's the matter, Your Royal Lowness? Short on words? Maybe THIS will provide some food for thought! (The Bouldermobile grabs hold of a nearby house and heaves it at the Palace. A huge dent appears in one wall. A followup blast from Caner's walking apparatus [!!] widens the dent and shatters. A massive hole is now visible) Seymour: You five capture those two rabbits. Jerry and myself will control the machine. (pauses, as everyone stares at him) WELL?? Flashdog: (talking rapidly) Withallduerespectyoudon'tevenknowhowtocontrolthething---- Quarter: (slaps him) Flashdog: (shakes his head dizzily) Thanks. I needed that. Quarter: (stands over everyone) All right, boys! You heard the rat! Let's get to work! (The five A.L.D. members disperse into the palace. A quiet voice is heard behind the Bouldermobile.) Curtis: All right. You know the plan? Sundance: Yep. Us NYPC will take out the Bouldermobile, while the Rad-Cats set the traps in the Palace. GB: And the rest of us will assist in the trap. Clever. Curtis: (shrugs) What can I say? Now let's get to do it! (Way over in the palace already, Quarter and the others have already made it through several long hallways. Carlos Cosmos has returned to the Palace to assist in any way he can; yet, as he hides in a nearby room, he has no idea what to do.) Carlos: (Just then, Carlos notices his reflection in the mirror: his spiked hair, his orange clothing.....) Carlos: (grins) (reaches for a pair of combat boots and a mask) (Over in the hallway....) Quarter: (reading a map) All right. Just 3 more hallways to go until we reach the Princess and the others. Caner: (following him as fast as he can) And what do we do once we get there? Quarter: We'll kidnap them and hold them for ransom. However, if they refuse to be held, or the citizens try to pay nothing, or even try to rescue them outright.....(voice is dark)....we'll have to kill them. Flashdog: (nods) Typical actions of a terrorist group, huh? Loud Voice: YOU SAID IT! (A tall figure appears in the hallway in front of them, startling them out of their wits) Blackout: (panics) IT'S HIM! IT'S HIM! Quarter: (puzzled) It's who? Blackout: DON'T YOU GET IT?! THAT'S GOKU!!! (With that, the whole group screams in terror and starts running the opposite direction. The figure pauses a few moments until they disappear around a bend in the hall, then removes his mask. The face under it belongs to Carlos Cosmos) Carlos: (sighs) Big on words, and long on mouth. I should've thought of that earlier! (During this time, the New York Pizza Cats have made short work of the Bouldermobile; not much of it is left. During the time it takes for Cosmo to crack open the cockpit--and, unwittingly, releasing Seymour and Jerry--the Animal Legion of Doom falls by the wayside to Curtis's traps. Only Quarter makes it out, with nothing to show for his efforts) Quarter: Desperate times call for desperate measures! EVERYONE, STAY BACK! Curtis: (hisses) What is it you want? Quarter: Just stay back....(pulls a figure out of the shadows)....or Lucille gets it! (Everyone who hears this gasps in terror) Speedy: (growls) Stay back, everyone. If he's going to kill her, better it not happen any sooner. Sundance: (eyes Lucille) She reminds me a lot of my old friend Lucinda. Teasy: I heard rumors you got married to DeeDee. Is that true? Curtis: (cuffs him slightly, knocking off his sunglasses) Now's not the time to talk about that. (There is a pause as Quarter begins to back away. Right before he reaches cover, an explosive detonation envelops him, causing him to lose his grip on Lucille) Chico: (startled) What in the world was THAT? Teasy: (looks up at the palace) Take a wild guess. Francine: (amazed) Well, I'll be sat on by a rhino! Daniel: (a tad miffed) Fran, that's MY line. (Empress Frieda and Princess Violet are still standing at the Palace balcony. Standing behind them, holding a broken bazooka, is Sylvia Melika. Curtis looks up, says something to himself, and walks slowly towards the front doors of the Palace) Curtis: (walking towards the doors) Sylvia must've managed to hotwire the pieces of Frieda's broken bazooka. (Curtis stops in his tracks, and looks back at the Bouldermobile. Quarter and the others have clambered back into it, trying to get away) Curtis: (shouts at the balcony) SYLVIA, THAT'S YOUR CUE! USE THE FIRE SETTING I ADDED TO THE BAZOOKA BEFORE I DESTROYED IT! Guido: (confused) Fire setting you added before you destroyed it? That makes no sense. Runner: (snarls) What does? Sylvia: (shrugs) All right. Whatever you say! (Calibrates the bazooka and aims it at Quarter. Her voice sounds slightly distorted) WATCH THE FLAMES, CORKSCREW!! (Firing the bazooka, the explosive blast sends Quarter and the others flying. The Bouldermobile shudders to a stop) Seymour: (angry) NO! NOT AGAIN! I'M GOING TO GET THEM ONE OF THESE DAYS, I PROMISE!!! Jerry: (exasparated) Here we go again. (Once again, Seymour explodes; this time, the explosion is twice as loud, twice as big, and twice as devastating. Quarter and the others scream as they disappear in the distance. Up on the balcony, Sylvia drops the bazooka in front of Frieda, breaking it in half again, and calmly strolls out) Sundance: Curtis, you told me earlier that Frieda tried to bomb you to bits with that bazooka of hers. How did you manage to stop her? Curtis: (quietly) I sliced the bazooka in half. Sundance: With your sword? Curtis: (quietly) With my claws. (walks away) Speedy, don't forget to destroy the Bouldermobile. I have a few things to do. (leaves) (The New York Pizza Cats look at each other) Cosmo: (shakes his head) I'm not going to say a word. Daniel: (a bit angry) THAT'S MY LINE! Everyone: (in unison) Daniel, be quiet. Daniel: (snarls) YOU be quiet! (his flamethrowers start glowing with energy; likewise, his sunglasses) DeeDee: (somewhat hesitant) Um, correct me if I'm wrong... Daniel: (yells) YOU'RE WRONG!! (points both flamethrowers and glares at the Bouldermobile, activating his Starcross Scatterbolt Sequence) (In the meantime, Speedy joins in and activates his Cat's Eye Slash sequence. Both cats fire at the same time, and the Bouldermobile explodes, sending debris flying everywhere.) Daniel: (hisses) I may be young, but I'm not stupid. Now, how about getting some shut-eye? It's getting late. Sundance: (nods, and turns to his teammates) C'mon, guys. Let's get to our hotel. (walks away, with DeeDee and Cosmo following him) (The four Rad-Cats, ALL a bit shaken from Daniel's tantrum, leave for their own home, and the 5 Little Tokyo Pizza Cats head back to the parlor. Lucille leaves likewise for her own home.) (Later that night, inside the Palace....) Curtis: (staring at a blank television screen in his room; sighs) What a rough day. First I contend with that bazooka-wielding monarch, then that little incident with Sylvia, and then the big fight against Quarter....(slaps his alarm clock, switching it on) I don't think even "Donkey Kong Country" can cheer me up after what I've gone through.... (Right when he is about to reach over and switch off the light, there is a knock at the door) Curtis: (growls in annoyance) Yeah, who is it? Voice: This is Al. There's a certain Sylvia Melika here who wants to speak with you momentarily before you turn in for the night. Curtis: (moans) Okay, send her in. (After a moment, the door opens, and Sylvia walks in, still in her attire from earlier. She shuts the door behind her and walks up to him) Curtis: (weakly) Isn't it getting late? Sylvia: (nods) It's 10:00, I know. There's still something I need to talk with you about, first. Curtis: (Here it comes.) Yeah? Sylvia: (puts a hand on his shoulder and sits down next to him) I'm sorry about the way I acted earlier. Curtis: (surprised) You are? Sylvia: (nods) Yes. The people of Little Tokyo were the exact opposite of what I expected, and it had finally gotten to me. I would've done it earlier, but you and Polly pitched me out the window before I had a chance. Curtis: Yes. I apologize for that, too. Sylvia: (gets up) Good. I guess I'll be going, then. (walks towards the door) Curtis: Sylvia? Sylvia: (turns around) Yes? Curtis: (trembles) Think you could come here for a minute? Sylvia: (nods) Sure. (walks to him) What's on your mind? (Curtis holds Sylvia in his arms for a split second, then starts crying into one shoulder) Sylvia: (surprised) I know, I know you miss her. (regains her composure) I missed her, too; she was a good friend of mine, and I didn't like it any more than you did when she walked out. Curtis: (lets go) Sorry about that. You can go on back, if you want. (Sylvia heads back out the door, closing it behind her. Curtis switches off the light, then heads for the window) Curtis: (screams, the last tears flying off his face) QUARTER, MARK MY WORDS, YOU'RE GOING TO BE HISTORY FOR WHAT YOU'VE DONE!!! (Back on the far end of the palace....) Frieda: (puzzled) Now, what was THAT all about? Al: (shrugs) Don't mind him. He's been doing that for the last month. Vi: I don't know, it sounds like he has something big planned. (No one hears him, but Ambush Cat is nearby) Ambush Cat: (purrs) Oh, he is, Violet. He is. (Screen fades to black) ----------------------------------- We're at the end, now. You can all come back. I have a little something prepared for next time: After watching a montage of Pizza Cats and Super-Cats clips, Quarter and Seymour begin a last-ditch effort at city supremacy. Read the next story, and you'll find out what it is! # 7: Operation Bonzai supreme_cat@hotmail.com Adios, amigo! G.A. Wildcat